(*Disclaimer: There is just no way to write this post without sounding like a self-important asshat and I am utterly aware of it. So what the freak…I might as well have fun and run with it. )
Months and months ago, I got an email from a long time bloggity pal of mine. Psychic Geek and I had talked from time to time and she helped me find my keys once.
She said she had.to.talk.to.me.on.the.phone.and.it.was.super.important!
She’s a friend, so I did.
Looooooong story short, she pretty much told me I was going to have the most amazing year ever.
(Yeah, right.)
But she was pretty much correct, because this year? WOW.
(Just do not bitch at me if she can’t find your keys, people. I’m just telling my story here.)
About 10 days ago, I was sitting on my recliner trying to figure out THE freak to transfer MP3′s from my computer to my phone, when I noticed I had a Direct Message on Twitter from my friend, Erin (thus known on the Internet as “The Queen of Spain”). She asked if she could call me on the phone to talk to me about a project she had me in mind for.
It’s always a party with Erin, so I said YES.
Since she was a key player in that whole, “Loralee went to the White House” thing, I figured it would be something along political lines.
I was wrong.
It took me about 3 minutes to comprehend that Erin was telling me that BlogHer wanted to send me and some other fabulous people to Ree’s ranch to film a segment about what I “really” wear in the day (pajama pants, yo) and how (if at all) I kick it up at night.
YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT HERE.
And for those who read “Far away face girl”?
THIS IS A WEBISODE.
THAT I WILL BE APPEARING ON.
ON VIDEO.
OH, THE IRONY!
(That agent can BITE ME. ;) )
It is damn hard to do, but Erin managed to RENDER ME SPEECHLESS with this little chunk of news.
And I have had to stay quiet about it for 10 torturous days. (AND IT HAS KILLED ME)
TILL TODAY!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Whew. I feel so much better.)
It’s been hard keeping that in because really, the only person I could tell was Jonathan, and let’s face it…he doesn’t really “Get it”. When I went to him babbling in excitement he just sort of looked at me and blinked.
“Who? Why are you going to a ranch in Oklahoma? Huh?”
“Well…as a musician, let me try to put it in a way you can understand. Um…she is like the Beyonce of the blogging world and I am well regarded in Bassoon enthusiast circles. And I get to go and hang out with Beyonce at her house and sing and record and shake my booty with her to “All the Single Ladies”.
(Which ya know, knowing this crowd, could totally still happen.)
“EVERYONE knows how cool the White House invitation is, but in my world, this MIGHT actually be…bigger?”
Then Jon asked me something that caused me to really ponder and pause.
“So, which is a bigger deal to you? Going to the White House or this?”
DUDE.
Tough question.
White House?
The Ranch?
White House?
The Ranch?
Hmm….
The White House has THIS.
And THIS:
AND THIS!!!!
BUT(T)…
The Ranch has THIS:
AND IT’S THE RANCH FOR THE WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, United States Government and Bo, the First Dog.
I am weak.
:)
P.S. Photo Courtesy of Ree Drummond.
P.P.S. Jean-clad heiny of awesome courtesy of The Marlboro Man.
P.P.P.S. Photos of the White House courtesy of me.
P.P.P.P.S. I just wish I had a better camera at the time.
P.P.P.P.P.S. I will be taking my DSLR to “The Ranch”.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I can’t do anything about my lack of photography skills, though. That has nothing to do with having an inferior camera.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I shouldn’t have called my point and click “inferior”. It was a great little camera that served me well. And besides, I totally dropped it on the portico walkway that was made all famous by that photograph of Kennedy walking down it and it died. I did inquire if they would let me have a state funeral for it since it died at the White House but Valerie’s Chief of Staff seemed to think there wasn’t any protocol for camera death on government grounds.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. I won’t kill my new camera when I visit The Pioneer Woman, though.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. AND I won’t try any dangerous Tom Foolery with it like trying to get a shot of something awesome. ALTHOUGH..if a situation arises like, um…I’m sitting on The Pioneer Veranda fanning myself and sipping a Mint Julip and eating Chili and cornbread and then there will be a commotion and The Marlboro Man will come rushing from the house and jump bareback on his trusty mare (Stallion? Cowboy in Shining Armor Horsey??) yelling, “Stagecoach attack! The Redcoats are coming!!!! (or whatever) ALL HANDS ON DECK!) and we all rush out to help and gallop away on conveniently saddled and placed horses, even though I’m bawling the whole time because of that one time I was on a horse and was thrown and now have nerve damage the size of a horse hoof on my rear-end and so while I really like horses they scare me to death n’ stuff, which isn’t a problem for Sheila, who is taking copious notes as we ride and Erin, Queen of Spain, because she’s not only riding like a pro but is cracking a bull whip like no tomorrow, but thankfully we don’t ride very far before we find the sieged wagon and Ree and The Marlboro Man stop the bad guys in a jiffy by the sheer power of them being weirdly good looking and super nice (Aided by Erin standing there bull whipping the air in INTIMIDATING fashion) and the final kicker of Ree offering to rustle them up some cobbler if they’d just give up and let the wagon proceed on to Gobbler’s Gulch, but they’d have to agree be hog tied for a bit just to be on the safe side (which of course they and they do, because HI, REE’S COBBLER? YUM) and then they ask ME to do the honor of tying them up and they give me a lasso only I can’t tie ANYTHING that isn’t in the form of super! cute!! bows!!! and stand there looking like a total IDIOT that can do nothing but cry, “I DON’ T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BIRTHING NO BABIES, MISS SCARLETT!” like a loser and so while Ree is comforting me that I am a useful person despite my lack of hog-tying-knowledge and that she thinks Lowery’s Seasoning is still super even though most of society has turned its back on it, they turn the task over to Susan Wagner, who not only manages to tie up the bad guys but do so in a fashionable way, and the Wells Fargo Wagon safe and sound, it can deliver Ma and Pa Ingalls to safety and the prairie is once again safe for all mankind, we take the bad guys back to the ranch for pie??????!!!!! I MAY HAVE TO GO AND PHOTOGRAPH THAT.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. If this streak of “Loralee-weird” ends up getting me uninvited, I may just have to go cry. And call a friend. And eat an entire pie.
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. But in the end it will be ok because TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY N’ STUFF!!!!
P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. :)
Whoo! I know it’s supposed to be about clothes, but any get together at the ranch is going to be about food. I’ll be wearing my best pajamas when I watch. Go you and your bad self!
And? There are even bigger and better things for you ahead! So excited for you.
Ooooohhhh rub her belly like a troll doll and make a wish that I’ll be able to cook like her, yes?
You’re coming to my state! Yay! Too bad it’s not to see me. But Ree is a good second if you can’t see me.
Dear Far Away Face Girl – apparently, THAT is a misnomer. Can’t wait to see you in pj’s. On a ranch. With cowboys and stuff. And horses. And remember – it’s probably not a good idea to ride horseback in pj’s. I’m just sayin’.
Excited for you, babe. Have a blast!
That is sooooooo RAD!
OH man!! I am so jealous. I love Ree and her ranch.
Very cool! Not quite sure how anything could be bigger than meeting with a senior advisor at the White House, but hey, it’s your world. I’m just living in it.
Want DETAILS!!!
D
Nobody love Ree as much as I do, but nobody deserves this as much as you do!
Just totally cool. Have a fantastic time! Can’t wait to see the video!
The Ranch totally wins. You can buy tickets to see the White House, but the Ranch is invitation only. PLUS I hear wonderful things about Ree’s Cinnamon Rolls!!!
I am starting to think that you are the oddest person on the internet. Not in a bad way, I just can’t quite figure you out at ALL.
And If that level of weird is what it takes to get invited to Ree’s ranch, I am never going because I am boring and quiet in comparison.
I think this is completely awesome. YAY YOU!!!!!
SO stoked for you! I’ve read PW longer than I’ve read your blog and to think ya’ll are meeting is just awesomeness and joy!! HAVE SO MUCH DANG FUN!!!
you know that post you wrote about jealousy? yep. i’m feeling a twinge right about now.
totally kidding #notreally
seriously! have fun #withoutme
enjoy the ranch!
Mommymae took the words right out of my mouth!
Have a fun time, eat lots of great food, and keep us twitterdated!
Have a great time. She’s lucky to have you as a guest, if you ask me. :)
Oh I am so jealous. Ree’s ranch looks heavenly. Well, ok, only a little jealous but mostly excited for you!
Okay, that is way better then going to the white house. Sorry. But, true. That is so awesome! I would freakin out too. Jealousy.
Yay! I am so excited for you I even squeed a bit too. I’m looking forward to your pics and recap.
This is TOO COOL, Loralee!
HAHAHA
totally jealous! have a great time and eat lots of butter for me!!
I am so incredibly jealous! I would love to visit the PW’s ranch and cook with her. Don’t you dare leave out a single detail of this trip!
SQUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! So excited for you!!!!
I am SO excited for you!!!! Oh my gosh what a fun opportunity!!!! Can’t wait to hear about it!!! SQUEE!!!!!!!!
Remember us little people……
Totally jealous…seriously, totally….
P.S. Calories totally won’t count at this event
P.P.S Take a ton of pictures!
P.P.P.S. Totally jealous..
And I repeat, again, for like the umpteenth million time, (because I’m horrible at speaking to people like Ree in person, just quite better at wordlessly invading her personal space), my jealousy is seething from my pores. It smells kind of funny and that could be why an invite to The Ranch, well, just may never been in the cards for me because if jealousy is this stanky, who KNOWS what sheer and utter excitement will smell like?!
P.S. I’m totally willing to take a whiff of that excitement stench.
P.P.S I’m going to pester you for all the details.
P.P.P.S. My days become more vicarious when I hear about this awesome sauce stuff that happens to the people I like most.
P.P.P.P.S. End The Grand Ass-Kiss of 2010.
P.P.P.P.P.S. Squeeeeeee!
YAY! I keep wondering where in OK she is. I’m sure I could find out, but I just haven’t ever looked. We have the Pioneer Woman statue in my small city here in OK, so that’s what originally drew me to her site.
Anyway – I hope you enjoy Oklahoma. I love it.
I would take the ranch over the White House any day. Not for the Marlboro man butt though not that there is anything wrong with that…
I am SO JEALOUS!!!!! Just sayin. And I would probably have to choose the Ranch and Charlie over The White House and the first dog any day (bad that I can’t remember his name now that I have Charlie the basset hounds face in my mind)
Totally jealous!! I wish I could go to the Ranch. Have fun, bring me food. :)
Make sure you remind her about me (Ree’s super secret BFF from way back at BlogHer ’10).
Also, YOU? Are Awesome.
wow. two of my favorite bloggers, in the same place, which also happens to be the state in which i live. invite me over? please? i can be there in just a few hours…
I LOVE Ree and the Ranch and Marlboro man. I spent hours and hours reading their LoVe story when i discovered her a few months back. Jealous! Have a great time and I can not wait to read about it!
I am SO excited for you. Have a great time! Take lots of pictures and have tons of awesome food. :)
I think your friend was right-this is going to be one AWESOME year. :)
Wonderful! Have a great time, eat a cinnamon roll for me, and put in a good word for me… Ha ha.
Sorry to blow the dream, but beer goes with chili, not mint julips. Those are for Southerners.
So Jealous!! Everytime I cook one of PW’s recipes, I have to imagine myself in OK on her back porch.
http://www.katysneverendingstory.com
I love you to bits and pieces, but right now I kind of hate you. But I still love you, so maybe that cancels it out?
Forever yours in cold caffeinated beverages,
Allison
And I am so excited to see your beautiful close-up self rocking the ranch. You will do awesome!
that was THE best historical/western/romance/food review read i’ve ever read! totally needed the laugh! i now need to use the the outhouse to change my petticoats (just checked…no marlboro man in the there :( )
So jealous/excited for you! PW and all those other fabulous ladies! Wow!
Since you asked for some ideas for everyday wear this is what I do: I live in Texas where it is stunningly hot 8 months out of the year. It is not possible to wear jeans unless you want your legs to spontaneously combust, so I have switched to the fancy sister of yoga pants–the knit skirt. These are great because they are cheap ($15 FULL PRICE at Old Navy. Or you can buy them in the swimwear department at Target–Swimwear? huh???) They are a little longer than knee-length which is great for covering up knees that are both pasty white and chubby (not that mine are or anything). Shorts can’t do that.
These skirts are lightweight and swirly meaning they offer full ventilation. This makes them a must for long, sunny torture sessions like zoo field trips. They are knit–the same kind as yoga pants–so they are perfectly comfy and you can easily take a nap or sit any old which way (although your panties might show but who really cares about that).
The best thing about the knit skirt is that it makes you look like you have your act together. If you were to wear flip flops and a T shirt with yoga pants around town people would just assume you are lazy or a slob or maybe just a frump who has long since given up. But switch out the yoga pants for a knit skirt and people ask you why you look so nice. This is the great secret of a skirt! People think you have it all together if you wear one. They assign you adjectives like “put-together” and “dressed-up” even though you are still wearing the same t-shirt you slept in. Throw on some high-heeled sandals and some dangly earrings and you will be the best dressed mom in the carpool lane.
You can check out a few of these skirts here:
http://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?searchCID=26519&pid=730581&scid=730581002&vid=-1
Just remember that I loved you first…
And WitchyPoo is all kinds of aweosme. Just waiting for her to call ME…
Congratulations on the awesomeness of this! ? You deserve greatness!!!!!!
First….I am SOOOOO JEALOUS!!!
Second…I am SSOOOO ENVIOUS!!!
Third…I’m going to hell in a hand basket!
Last but in NO WAY LEAST……
YOU SSOOOOOO DESERVE THIS!!!!!
I hope You have THE BEST time!!!
Wendy ;-)
DUDE!!!
Can I be your accessory!?!