(EDIT: I forget this every flipping year (obviously), but it’s National Delurking Day! Chime in and say hello and I’ll reply! You know, as long as you don’t agree TOO enthusiastically about the “I can totally look fugly” part of this post. Heh.)
I’m an interesting looking person.
I don’t really consider myself beautiful nor ugly. I can take some DANG nice photos and have some really lovely features, but enough funky ones to keep my looks at the level of (and I loathe this term, much as it is correct) “striking”. Usually I hear the phrase, “STRIKE THREE!”, or think of my big freaking nose knocking over a set of bowling ball pins when I hear it, but “striking” is far and away the most often used term used to describe me.
Here is another thing about me. I’m not one of those glowey, sun-kissed, natural beauties that roll out of bed looking amazing. They look good ALL THE TIME. Even without makeup. I am not in that category at all.I usually either look REALLY bad or REALLY good. Granted, I COULD look REALLY GOOD most/all of the time, but for the huge lot of lazy I have in me. Usually the “really bad” comes with bed head and no makeup and my glasses, but it’s been known to happen at other times. I can even swing wildly on THE SAME DAY.
For example:
REALLY GOOD
REALLY BAD
(Ok, this WAS during the delivery of the little butterlump and last photo WAS after 8 hours of induced and un-medicated HARD AS HELLO SUNSHINE I AM BEING GANG RAPED BY A HEARD OF STAMPEDING BUFFALO!!!! labor, but I feel like it just drives my point home. Also? When I use the term “UGLY CRY” from now on you, um, know that I mean just that.)
EVen big events are not immune. Take BlogHer for example.
REALLY GOOD
REALLY BAD (I’ve actually never looked so wrinkly either in person or in a photo. Ironically, Lou is the person that took the above photo. He survived the glory that was me at breakfast after no shower, sleep, makeup or will to live.)
I am not a high maintenance girl nor an overly vain one. I am WAY too lazy for that. On a day-to-day basis I am pretty low key. I am like many moms that stay home to mind their children and spend several days in yoga or pajama pants.
I’ve also never let how I look stop me from venturing out and doing something.
This is not necessarily a good thing.
I think my utter low came when my personal and emotional life was at rock bottom. It was so rock bottom that I was looking UP to see rock bottom. I’m not proud of it, but I went to take a final, um…wearing THIS:
Yeah, I know. Stunning, aren’t I? Truly…it’s one of those moments that make you joyful for the posterity of photography. To cut myself a LITTLE slack, this was taken a few days later, so I do brush myself up from time to time.
And, lots of the time it’s not THAT bad, but I am still guilty of going to public places pretty much looking like a rumpled mess.
I had one particularly memorable day this week.
I had an appointment to set up an account at a credit union with fellow board members of The Social Media Club of Cache Valley. We have been running around putting together our first event. (A “Tweetup” on January 14th (THAT WOULD BE TODAY, PEOPLE) at 6:30pm at Cafe Sabor in Logan. There will be free Pepsi products, swag for everyone and groovy door prizes like the new and adorably wee ipod shuffle and gift cards to Borders and Best Buy. You should all come if you’re in the area!).
Our appointment was at 10am.
Normally, that would have been plenty of time to get where I was going and look decent doing it, but I got a phone call during my “shower, hair, and makeup” time. A really important phone call. From a really important person. In a really far away place. Basically, it’s one of those calls you don’t miss, you know?
I hung up the phone at 10:05 and I bolted and SEWED LIKE THE WIND!!!!! (Or, you know…ran. Sorry, did I mention that I have had huge hankering to watch The Three Amigos lately?) I threw on a shirt and pants that ended up being way too big (I’ve lost some weight.Who knew?), tennis shoes with NO socks and a leather jacket and scarf (which I kept zipped as to not reveal my “no bra” status) and I ripped through my hair with a brush while running out the door.
I was very late, but I got there, huffing and puffing and probably much too apologetic for looking like roadkill. But hello, I had no choice because my fellow board member Jill always looks and smells amazing.
The worst was that I had a LOT of business to conduct that morning for the TweetUp. And I did it all. And did a good job at it, despite feeling ill at ease due to appearance. I coped by just kept telling myself that while I didn’t look amazing, most probably wouldn’t give it much, if any, thought.
And it worked!
Until it didn’t!
On my last stop of the morning, I had to run by Jill’s office to drop off one of the donations for the party tonight. She works at the local Health Department.
I don’t know about where you live, but our Health Department houses and runs MANY different and wonderful programs. In fact, when you go in the door to get to Jill’s office, you pass through the “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” entrance that sits on one side of the wing and has “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” in big lettering on the glass door.
I walked up the path on the opposite side of the building and went in the door on the opposite side of the vestibule leading to the “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” door.
I wasn’t avoiding the entrance or really even thinking about it other than remarking to myself that the big, plain “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” lettering on the window made it look like a door on a movie or TV set and that I would now see that term in caps and bold in my head forever. I just headed in the direction I was going and pretty much gave every physical indication that that place was in the opposite direction.
All that indicating didn’t stop the man that was headed into the “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” door from MARKEDLY looking me and my awesomeness up and down, holding the door open and saying, “Aren’t you coming in?”
STRIKE THREE!
Sigh.
.
*I know “SUBSTANCE ABUSE” (Gah! CANNOT HELP!) is a serious disease. Given my addictive personality I am grateful I have never gone there. If I had any serious vice outside of Diet Coke I would probably end up on a urine-stained mattress under an overpass, so kudos to those that have kicked it and have the courage to walk through that door.
**I also promise NOT to look like road kill at the Tweet Up tonight, so I really hope you can come!
I will be pretty.
And smell like flowers.
And wear a bra.
For reals.
You don’t have to wear a bra on MY account. No sirree bob. Notice that was NOT a capitalized ‘bob’ – so I was not referring to you using a boys name – unless of course your real name was Roberta – and then the appellation ‘bob’ could be appropriate – anyway – it was strictly a catchphrase – no gender reference intended.
(Actually, I was tempted to say ‘No sirree boob’ – but that seemed a little .. oh, I don’t know … risky. Not riske (I don’t know how to put the diacritical mark over the ‘e’). Risky. As in – like you could hate me forever.
LOL! Actually, Lou, you are forgiven as you are one that has seen me looking wretched.
Breakfast in Chicago? Loralee exhausted and on pain killers with bedhead and no makeup looking like the 5th circle of hell?
Seriously, that is one of the worst photos ever taken and I would have utterly posted it if I had been at the computer it was stored on when I wrote this.
You survived THAT, so I could never hate you! Heh.
Dude, I totally edited and posted it, Lou.
Heh.
I LOVE the picture of you taking the final! OMG those pink pants and with that purse and the fur….. You made my day!
I definitely enjoy the fur trimmed jacket with the PJ pants. Totally classes them up a bit.
You? Are awesome.
I wish I was in Logan tonight. I’d totally be there.
P.S. Why have we not seen each others babies yet!? And by babies I really do mean babies.
I’m sorry I don’t comment more. I read you all the time though so hopefully that counts :-)
Happy Delurking Day!
HA!
You sound like me. The worst is when you TRY to look nice and you still look like the haggard mess you usually look like. That is where I am right now. I am trying, but it isn’t working so f&*# it!!
I know we don’t know each other, but I think you look nice and pretty in all of those pictures! Okay well maybe not so much in the birthing one, but you look WAY better than the puffy bloated mess I was during my deliveries!
Talk to you later! (@MotherhoodnMe)
I would so be at the tweetup! If I wasn’t you know… days away and all ;-)
Thank you for the awesome pictures.
I am a firm believe that you’re never capable of true beauty without it starting on the inside and you, you’re simply stunning from the inside out.
So there.
MWAH.
Happy delurking day! :-)
Happy de-lurking day! I think you’re just lovely, don’t worry. And bras are highly overrated in public.
Jackie here. I just started lurking last week. I would have announced myself eventually, but I guess now is as good a day as any.
I don’t think anyone looks good after crying. Or labor.
Im right there with ya! Really… right there.
Dude as long as you brushed your teeth your good in my book.
I love you for “SEW LIKE THE WIND!!!” I love that movie. :-)
I think you and I are in the same looks category. I know I clean up well, but I’m pretty low-maintenance most of the time. I don’t *think* I scare small children or anything, but more than once when I’ve put forth an effort (did my hair, worn make-up, dressed nicely, etc.) I’ve gotten double-takes and exclamations like “Wow, you look REALLY nice!” which makes me wonder how I look to the outside world most of the time. ;-)
I don’t comment very often but I’m always here reading and have been touched by so many things you say and do and have the courage to share with all of us.
I wish I lived closer so I could join the tweet up. I’m sure it will be a blast and would even wear a bra.
I think you look beautiful in all the pictures … some more beautiful than others. I’d love to be able to look at a bad pictures of myself and not destroy it.
You and I are very similar in our attitudes. I’m disabled and I just don’t have the energy to pretty myself to sit at home all day. It doesn’t help that I’d rather be comfortable than pretty.
Also, consider this my de-lurk.
I’m de-lurking, even though I think this is my first visit here. I wear pjs all the time! And I also can have fab photos of me taken on the same day as crappy ones! I wish I had found your blog earlier and met you at BlogHer last year! I love your sense of humor – it matches mine!
This made me laugh out loud for a while. I am just like this. I have my good days, but lovely pictures…rarely. I can look horrific. Not that you look horrific in any way ;-)
::de lurking::
I read you ALL the time. You crack me up and I wish I would have met you for the Sills get together.
::re lurking::
Ha! You crack me up. Seriously. I’m pretty sure I zero make up on the other afternoon. And your lucky *I* had a bra…
Just wanted to say as usual you’ve made me pee my pants in laughter. If you are a stay at home mom, what’s all the gala stuff for? whats this tweetup? I thought you are a paid and published writer?
we all have our moments. I took a final once in sweatpants and birkenstocks. It was college. And I was tired.
I got the Parents in the mail and can’t wait to show hubby that blogging can do good.
Werd up pretty face
We all know how I feel about wearing pajamas in public but you still look fabulous.
I don’t comment all the time, but I have commented before, does that make me a LURKER? Either way, Happy DeLurker day!
Hey! I got my Parents magazine in the mail yesterday and was so thrilled to see an article about “mommy blogging” that wasn’t totally bashing everyone! I had no idea that was coming! Great article! Fun to read about you in print, too!
Puh-leeze! I work from home starting at 4am. I have official “work jammies” that I wear (sans bra) until I have to leave the house to pick up my son from school. Then all that happens is I throw in bra, jeans, shirt, shoes. I shower when I get up only because it wakes me up. :)
Happy De-Lurking Day! The Tweet Up sounds fun!
You can call yourself fugly, but I’ve seen you in real life and Loralee, you’re freaking beautiful.
Happy delurking day. :)
I’m a lurker, although technically I have commented once before. My parents live in Logan – I wish I was visiting them right now so I could go to the Tweet Up tonight. I LOVE Cafe Sabor. Have a great time with your Twitter friends!
Hilarious. I hope you have a great time at tonight’s tweetup!
delurking to say hi…
Haaaay purty lady. You are awesome.
i’m not a lurker, as i do comment on occasion but this is what i want to know and i thought this might be the post where you would say, since it is about appearances:
i know you have a twin.
i know she is an off-limits subject (totally understandable!)
i was wondering if you are identical.
that’s it, nothing salacious, etc. just curious since twins run on both sides of my family.
First, I’m Totally not a lurker!
Second, At least you have the capacity to “Clean up Well” and you are Photogenic, I, on the other hand, have been featured in Better Homes & Garbage.
Finally,The final Outfit is appropriate!
I think I’d describe the women in my family as ‘proud’ looking. None of us are beautiful but we are ‘strong’ looking. I know that’s kinda hard to explain but proud really is the best word to describe us!
I never EVER think of myself as pretty even when in full makeup. A few months ago my ex-brother-in-law called over and said to me that he was amazed I had achieved a happy marriage when I had NOTHING going for me compared to my twin sisters who were stunning. Yeah, come on over to my house and insult me! After he said it he stayed for a couple of hours, I couldnt quite believe it lol.
Just stopping by to say hi!
I’m still here. And I’ve always thought you were beautiful.
I think I would come dangerously close to vomiting everywhere if I were to compile a montage of photographs at my best and worst. Three words: Female Adam’s Apple.
I win.*
*Everything is a competition. Even an ugly contest.
*delurks*
*waves*
:)
*relurks*
Happy Delurking Day! (Though being in Australia I think I’ve missed the official day!)
I wish I got “striking” – I’m usually referred to as “fey” or “unique” or “different”.
That and “stacked”. Joy.
Nah, actually I love my bosom buddies! And looking weird =)
Hello!
I found you through Amalah and I tell you, you are fabulous. I particularly enjoyed your posts about Washington and your dialogue about health care. Thanks for sharing with us!
And Happy Delurking Day! (A day late but I have a 7 week old so I cut myself lots of slack for being late and messy. :))
You’re freakin’ adorable. That is all.
signed, the camera and I are not often friends, though I now have two AMAZING new publicity pics. I’ll show them to you sometime, if you remind me, as I’m a bear of little brain these days.
I have but one thing to say to you dearie: even when you’re BAD you’re GOOOOOOD.
I have these days and far too often. I hate bras and wear them only when I have too.
HAHAH, happy belated delurking day!
I totally feel you though. If I don’t draw my eyebrows on (years and years and years of over-plucking did mine in, so sad)….I look kinda trailer trashy. Really do need to get those bad boys tattooed back on so I look presentable without so much freakin’ effort!
Hi there – just wanted to say I really enjoyed the post & since I just found your blog – I am looking forward to poking around!
:) a day late but I will be a new lurker lol.
I don’t need to delurk so just saying hi. And that I have the February issue of Parents mag in my possesion and will be reading about you asap!
Just popped in to say hi. I miss talking to you on Twitter (I’m no longer on there was under mcmama79) but know I read your blog all the time. You are such a fantastic writer and I envy your strength and honesty!
I have days where I don’t get out of my “house clothes” which is almost everyday but I’m comfy. Lol. You are such a beautiful person both inside and out!!!
I think my good grades in college were because I was always so comfy in class. Meaning I wore workout pants and sweatshirts. That was a long time ago, so I can’t remember if I wore a bra, but I probably did because that was at a time in my life I slept with my bra on.
I KNOW.