**The following texts occurred on December 18, 2009 in the wee hours of the morning and with the exception of slight editing of some of the cursing and taking out his place of employment, I have duplicated them exactly as they occurred. (Sigh.)
Hey, babe! I miss you so much. It’s been WAY too long. I wish you were here and miss you every second you’re not! I wish I lived down the street so we could just get together whenever we felt like it. I need to see you soon and talk to you even SOONER! Let me know when I can call you. I am always so worried about interrupting your family. Big fat hugs and kisses!
**
Who the HELL is this and why the F*CK RU TEXTING THIS 2 MY HUSBAND? If this is that whore Bethiny from the office u keep u and ur damn “KISSES” away from my man cuz that ring on his finger says his lovin’ and kissin’ is MINE NOT URS! Got it?
**
This was an error. MY name is Loralee. I was texting my friend, SANDI. Who is a GIRL and my friend that I have not talked to in a long time. She has a phone that is one digit difference from your, uh…”MAN’S” and it is my first month owning a touch screen phone. I hit the wrong button on the screen. I can see how this looked funny to you. Sorry about that. I have ZERO interest in your husband and his “kissin’ and lovin’ “. My apologies! :)
**
“I still think this is the f*cking whore and ur covering. But if its not check ur damn number b4 texting some poor man and his wife in the middle of the night that u love him!”
**
Yeah, because saying you love and miss someone in a text is so much worse then calling them a “f*cking whore”. Anyway, I have no control over what you believe and do not. I apologized and I consider this finished. (P.S. If I really am the office whore it is quite the BITCH of a commute from Utah to Orange County. Just sayin’…)
Filed under: 
Classic!
Brilliant! Only in Loraleeland!
oy. he IS missin’ out on some extra special lovin’ & kissin’, though.
just sayin’
Too funny!! This is why I don’t text!
Ahahaha!
I had a similar thing on new years eve – texted a friend to check he was still dropping by to our small NYE BBQ (which I was hosting with my other half, no funny business at all), and got one digit wrong and stranger – a girl got the message instead. My friend’s name was Mick. By some weird stroke of misfortune the poor chick who got my message’s boyfriend’s name was Mick too so she totally did NOT believe me! Heh! I was so tempted to send a second message after she rang me to hurl abuse at me saying “Hi Mick, I think your girlfriend intercepted our message, are we still hooking up tonight” but did restrain myself and sent a similar reply to yours. Ah, good times.
I love that you still have the texts. That was the best laugh I have ever had at 2:38AM! Thanks for the laugh a second time around. I needed you tonight… AND, I wish you lived closer too!!
I felt like such an idiot (and was pretty pissed when she wouldn’t let it go. It took 4 attempts and deleting them before sending what I did!)
I miss you, babe. I totally wish I could see you!
Thanks for kicking my heiny and getting me to post. It’s been a long month. :S
Gosh! You’re one of the best travelled office whores I’ve heard of in a long time.
That’s funny. The first week I had my phone, my brother in law (a limo driver) put up on Facebook “Gee, thanks Mister. A whole five dollars!”, which is a lousy tip for him.
I texted, asking whether he was going to go on a hot date with his earnings. Too bad it was some other guy!
So bizarre.
Only you! WHY does this stuff only happen you you?? Maybe you really missed your calling in life. You know- the office whore life calling. Look into it.
LOL. Yeah. I am pretty sure it is over rated.
I did change the name of this guy’s place of employment wtih “Office”…I figured it was just better that way. :)
bwaaaaaa haaaaaa haaaaaaaa! What is cracking me up the most is the mental image of YOUR FACE when she texted back!
That is one of the funniest things I have read in a long time!!
priceless!!
stuff like that happens to me all the time. i seriously get random calls and texts all the time. i’ve gotten to the point where i ignore them. but there are some people who insist i’m wrong and they have the right number. i’m like – listen, ho, if i’m still getting your messages, then it’s the WRONG number.
p.s. it’s snowing here and 18 degrees.
My boss has been known to send “romantic” text messages to coworkers thinking that he’s texting his wife instead. I really hope I NEVER, EVER receive one of these from him. EVER.
Let me hazard a guess that he’s probably thisclose to finding some lovin’ somewhere else.
THAT is awesome! Hmmmm……she checks HIS phone at night?
I can just imagine your face. What must have been even better was HER face when that first text came in. I imagine hubby has probably had some problems keeping his d*ck in his pants and she wasn’t at ALL pleased to see that text. And since she had hubby’s phone in her hot little hand, she probably had hubby’s b*lls in the other – ready to yank those puppies like a window shade if the wrong answer came back. You probably saved that guy’s life.
Helloooooooooooooooo crazy lady.
Maybe her husband’s junk can stretch from the OC to Utah. Maybe he’s magical and that’s why she’s so worried. Or maybe she’s just a freaking nutjob.
HA! This is THE BEST.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Loralee, Loralee. Loralee said: OMG, people hurt my head sometimes. http://loraleeslooneytunes.com/2010/01/05/sometimes-people-hurt-my-head/ [...]
Bahahahaha! Makes me glad I rarely use my phone!
OMG this is frickin priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love your way with words woman!!!!
Bwahahahahaha!
And THIS is why I love technology.
xo
Why are you checking the phone for texts at two in the morning? Our phones are way down in the other room sitting in chargers.
That is awesome.
Could your last response be any better?! Um, no! I thought I loved you before, but that is the raddest thing I’ve read in a while. Nice come back!
Oh snap!
I’m guessing she’s not open for the 3-way you were hoping for?
Bwahahahha!
Wow. Just wow.
Hehe, my daughter has had a similar problem, some girls just have no trust, and can’t let things go!
hahahahahaha. i’ve had the wrong # on incoming cell calls–”but are you sure this isn’t Brian’s phone”-but never on outgoing texts–to my knowledge!
Ahh, it’s great how people are so ready to jump to the entirely wrong conclusion. Benefit of the doubt has gone by the wayside along with courtesy. But. That was funny.
I know that I’m missing your kissin’ and lovin’.
Wow. THIS is precisely why texting should never have been invented. Just sayin’…
Because I am the first name in most of my friends phones I get lots of funny messages and calls.
I sometimes get message from my friends husband saying something like “How’s your day going sweetie?” I always reply back saing “I’m good. Thanks Darling”!! Then text my friend to tell her that her husband is sending me texts again. LOL
He has been known to send similar text to his mail friend whose name is next to his wife’s in his phone.
On the other hand though she once got a text from a man who insisted that he had met her the night before in a bar. We hadn’t been out that night but someone she knew must have passed on her number after pretending to be her. This guy knew her name and where she worked and everything.
Whoever based on her number was evil (we have an idea who did it). Her husband would have had some doubts if she had been out without him.
You really need to get the hang of that phone, fast. Do you realize that you called Nooncy’s phone at 2 am the other night?
O.M.G!!!!!
How utterly annoying of me. I am so freaking sorry. Especially as you and Nooncy aren’t night owls!
GAH!!!!!
P.S.
At least people will have zero doubt about my phone luck, now. :S
I love the end. Dam girl, that really is a long ass commute.
I have decided that for 2010 I am going to stop trying to understand the stupid that is most people.
Oh, in a few days you SO need to text “Pssst, hottie, it’s Bethany, wanna cyber?”
hahahha!
^^^^^^^^^^^ LOL @badgermama
Loralee ~ you make me smile :-)
That is one of the funniest exchanges I’ve ever read — and she is pretty insecure. I mean, I sort of get her initial response (though I might have been a little more delicate in the phrasing myself), but after your mea culpa? Seriously, girl needs to chill.
Oh my – this gave me such a chuckle on a day where I really needed it. You have my gratitude.
And that chick has my sympathy. Cuz if she’s jumping to conclusions that quickly then she’s very insecure about her marriage. Poor thing.
Now THAT is hilarious! And next time you and Sandi are texting your love in the middle of the night I want to be included! : )
Hahaha! At least that lady isn’t insecure! too funny :)
Any one have Bethany # She sounds qualified.