“James! Turn off the TV and GO TO BED. RIGHT NOW!!!!”
“But, Moooooom!!!!!!!! YOU are the one who told us “Annie” was a good movie and now you aren’t letting me finish it!”
“It’s 10:30 and you are an HOUR past your bedtime. I don’t care if you’re finished. You can DVR it and watch it tomorrow.”
“MOM! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN IF YOU DON’T LET ME EXPLORE MY INNER EMOTIONAL SIDE BY WATCHING CHICK FLICKS?!!!! YOU ARE SUPPRESSING MY SENSITIVE SIDE!!!!! IF I DON’T END UP MARRYING A GOOD WOMAN YOU WILL RUE THIS DAY!!!!! AND WHEN YOU ARE IN THE NURSING HOME WITHOUT GRANDCHILDREN IT WILL BE ALL. YOUR. FAULT!!! WAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“Get off the stage* and go to bed, James. You forget that you are talking to a MUCH BIGGER DRAMA QUEEN with years and YEARS of experience. You came to me for A REASON, you know. Now go to bed before I go all Shaniqua on you. Because I guarantee you do NOT want push your mother to the point that I out emote you. Just try it. It will be ON LIKE DONKEY KONG, MISTER.”
“So you’re just…just…OKAY suppressing my inner joy?”
“At 10:30 at night? Absolutely. GOOD NIGHT.”
*Thanks to Prairie Mama for the terminology. I have a feeling it will get a lot of use around here. Heh.
Stumble it!
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So the hate starts. Told you. I never figured it would be over “Annie,” though. That’s a curveball.
LOL!! I fully envision similar conversations when my kids get older. At 5 adn 3 they already are drhama queens
Hahaha Dylan is so much like this! Hold me.
OOOOOOOH boy.
Favorite post! So fucking funny. I love the Donkey Kong insert. I may have to use that one.
OMG he is good. I have one just like that. Sigh. We tell her some days that she needs to work on her act. That it wasn’t academy performance winning material.
Why yes, I am saving for therapy instead of college.
LOVE this post! Have a teenage daughter who is (God help me) an actress so there’s always tons of drama with both her and me! I am forever saying “SAAVE THE DRAMA FOR THE STAGE!”
So using “Get off the stage” on my daughter. In fact, she just performed the biggest show of crocodile tears and wailing you’ve ever seen over being made to watch Sesame Street instead of Backyardigans (because SS is longer than B) while I took a shower. Oh, the humanity. Can’t wait until she’s James’ age. Oh, dear.
Oh, kids and the drama. Luckily I’m still at the the tantrum stage since she really can’t talk much yet. Did I just use lucky and tantrum in the same sentence? Anyway, love this post. Too funny.
Love it! Can’t wait to USE it….on my little Drama Queen!
oh that is awesome!!! hee hee hee! I love your son already, can’t wait to see all the amazing things he is going to do as an adult! He is one smart cookie!
Bwa ha haaaaa! That was AWESOME! Well played, and well handled, Mom. :)
Loralee, can I marry your son when he grows up? xD
bisous,
Amy.
Dude. This is totally what I’m in for. Oh yes.
I’m scared of conversations like this with my kids. Right now? They call me “poopypants” and that is pretty bad. How the hell do I handle this kind of thing??
Ahhh, the apple falls not far from the tree. LOVE the “get off the stage” line. Never never never never NEVER tell my husband about that.
Oh. my. hilarious.
I love everything about this post. His initial declaration and your response. Precious. All of it.
Ha ha ha ha! Your son is awesome. I love how dramatic kids can get. When I was about 4, I told my Mom that it’s child abuse to starve little children when she wouldn’t pour me a third bowl of cereal after I rejected the first two (which I had previously requested). Hee hee.
You actually make me want to have more kids, just so I will have these AWESOMELY hysterical comebacks. I always had to use the same one: Don’t make me get your father.
That bedtime drama has been going on in my house for YEARS. And she’s only FOUR!
1. All these years…and I didn’t know Annie was a chick flick
2. You know Shaniqua, too?! So that’s where she went after junior high school…Utah.
3. From Annie to Donkey Kong?! Amazing breadth… My youngins are stuck between High School Musical and Wii Sports.
Excellent post!
Sounds like putting my 4 year old in bed…wanna come tough it out with her? :)
Seriously awesome…I don’t know if I can beat that…
but the other night Caden was playing with K’Nex. We got them for a review. He’s 4, but thinks he’s much older. I kept hearing him mutter under his breath, “son of a bitch”…I said what, “he says, I said nothing…” five minutes later “son of a bitch”..I took them away.
Husband is playing with him today. He does it again. Husband says what, Caden says, Daddy these are soo hard to play with. Husband says, I know, they are a little too advanced for you…
I’m just the picture of perfect parenthood…
Supressing his inner joy? Where did he come up with that one?
Haha that’s awesome! :)
I could have my own reality show here.
Actual quotes:
“I not drama, you’re drama.”
“No, you’re drama.”
Back and forth back and forth back and forth, then:
“Why mommy gots her head in the stove?”
“Jenn, the stove is electric.”