Dear John GOP,
We’ve been together a really long time, haven’t we?
It was a beautiful relationship for sure.
Hey, remember the time that Clinton was running and I loathed him and couldn’t believe my fellow teenagers were falling for his saxaphone playing on late night television? How mad I was that I would be 18 on November 7th which was FOUR FLIPPING DAYS after the elections and I was so pissed off they wouldn’t let me vote for Bush that I practically picketed the registration office?
Man…those were the days, weren’t they?
I’ve been raised with you. I remember watching the Regan/Carter debates and I knew who my man was even though I was only, what…6?
My parents totally approved of you.
Well, except for that weird period where they cheated on the elephant and ran around with the donkey during part of the Clinton administration.
It was weird.
My mother’s insistence that ‘THAT WOMAN chased and stalked our President!” (when, hi…she was 21 and hello…due to that little thing called The Secret Service, nobody stalks the President of the United States unless HE WANTS TO BE STALKED) really, really confused me. Needless to say, I was highly relieved when they came to their senses and voted for Dubya in 2000.
Lately, you and I just haven’t been getting along. The fights, the bickering, the distance.
I really think we’ve grown into two different people.
And I have come to a decision:
I AM LEAVING YOU AND OFFICIALLY REGISTERING AS A DEMOCRAT.
I’ve been thinking really hard about us for a long time. I have gotten more and more vocal about ideas and thoughts and stands that I have stayed quiet about for a long time.
In the hundreds of times I have told my story about being invited to visit The White House (November 6th! WOOT!), I keep uttering the phrase “I’m a moderate Republican”. And I kept feeling more and more and more…wrong.
It used to be very true.
I just don’t think it is any longer.
Between the passing of Proposition 8 in California banning gay marriage (which I more strongly disagree with then I can find adequate words for) and health care, I have really had the foundations of my political ideals shaken and questioned.
In talking about my outrage with both of these issues (and others) I came to realize how important this is to me and how different my thinking is then many of the people around me. I am an extremely non-confrontational person but I have felt passionately enough about things lately to go to the mat with my nearest and dearest loved ones. I’ve gotten into heated, intense arguments with people I never seriously argue with.
I find myself shaking my head more at the right and nodding it more at the left.
It used to be the exact opposite.
During a conference call through BlogHer today with a Republican Congresswoman, though she was lovely, I found myself yelling at the phone in frustration. Hey, some people yell at their TV screens watching sports, I yell at my phone during health care reform conference calls.
(We won’t go into the rambling and confused question I asked her regarding high-risk insurance pools as the rambling and confused part came about because I WALKED INTO THE CORNER OF MY BEDROOM DOOR right before being called on and was seeing stars and worried that people heard me yelling curse words before my question. Go, me.)
When I hung up the phone it was like the last little piece of the puzzle was in place and I just absolutely, 100% KNEW.
I am worried, I will confess. I’m registering as a Democrat AND I’VE NEVER EVEN VOTED FOR ONE.
This is a HUGE change for me. It’s almost like leaving a religion where I’m from. But I know it’s the right choice for me right now. When I end something it’s usually pretty final…at least about the way I feel. I may be able to work it out but chances are high I will never feel the same about it again. There has been like, one exception to this in all my life, BUT…even that isn’t immune and it’s proving me to be pretty much the same lately. So, I don’t think my feelings about you will ever go back to what they once were.
Lots in my life is changing. I’ve outgrown things and I’ve seen others without the rose colored glasses I am prone to wearing. I owe it to myself to do this to see if I feel more comfortable. And frankly, I am doing your party NO favors by staying in it feeling the way that I do.
I don’t even know if the Democrats would even WANT someone like me. I am pro-life (though that is a gray area and much too long for this post), I am ADAMANT about military funding, and I am really not sure if I love the earth enough for the left side of the aisle.
(Though I really think there is a Facebook quiz to help me find out. Imagine how pleased I was to find out that I am the rock band “Journey”!!! I could totally pass off looking like Steve Perry! WOOT!!!!)
This decision IS NOT ISSUE BASED. It’s because of the way I THINK.
After hundreds of hours of bickering, debating and arguing about the ins and outs of both parties I came to realize something: I have a completely, completely different ideology then the party I have been a part of since I was 18. And it’s too different to remain a Republican any longer.
So, I’m not.
I could be an independent but the Democratic party in Utah is so small I want them to have the numbers, frankly. And I kind of like being the rebel underdog. Beyond that, voting in the primaries is hugely important to me.
Before we say goodbye I want to assure you I don’t find either side “BAD”. I love WAY too many people to bits and pieces that I believe are true, humble, lovely, classy and good hearted to ever classify a whole party that way. You will find assholes on both sides, frankly.
So, thanks for all the memories, GOP.
It was fun while it lasted.
If you’re feeling all wounded and hurty over this, you can go cuddle with my husband.
He’s still there for you.
AND…he’s an excellent big spoon.
Kisses n’ stuff,