I have been known to drop the ball in practicing what I preach. Sometimes it can be hard to behave in a manner that matches your words.
I was challenged by this recently.
A few weeks ago, I was at the height of, “THIS MONTH SUCKS DONKEYBALLS AND IT CAN EFFING DIE. DIE. DIE!!!’
One day was particularly bad.
My morning started with my temperature registering at 103.8 and my parents calling to tell me that my sister had MS. It pretty much went downhill from there. Thing after thing after unbelievable THING happened all day long. I am a totally theatrical person but if there were a way to emphasis the suck of this day that was beyond caps, italics and exclamation points, I would totally use it.
Then I opened my email.
Inside was a comment full of disagreement about an old post of mine from someone doing research on a topic.
When I read it my blood began to BOIL.
Normally, even though I have certainly experienced my share of fugly haters from the internet, I still find that the amount of positive love that flows online FAR outweighs any negative things that occur. I am a humor filled, laid back person and it’s usually not that difficult to keep things civil.
In the posts where Jonathan and I discussed both sides regarding health care reform, both of us were very proud of the civil way people handled the discourse. There was a lot of passion on both sides but in all the hundreds of emails I got and the hundreds of comments, NOT ONE person was hateful or disrespectful.
People remained civil about one of the most emotional, hot buttoned issues in the country.
I was proud.
Maybe there really IS something to that whole “pride goeth before the fall” thing.
After reading the comment in my email, I just…lost it.
It wasn’t from a hater, or a troll or from someone disrespectful. She just really disagreed with me.
The thing that got me is that she said I was beyond antagonistic in my post. Because I had tried (so I thought ) extremely hard to NOT be that way. To not offend. To show that I really could see both sides of the issue and that I was truly in support of people who made a different choice then I did.
Because I was a compromised, sick, stressed out person that day, I could see nothing else in the comment but that accusation.
The commenter COULD have have handled their comment better, but my reaction was like taking a sledgehammer or four to a medium sized nail.
I left an extremely heated, biting comment.
She left one back.
When I read it I started pounding out word after ranting word, countering each point with a rabid attack. The comment grew longer and longer and longer until I finished and had my hand over the publish button.
Then I stopped.
I knew at that moment I had two choices. One-I could let my anger get the better of me and hit publish on my scathing comment or two-I could take a deep breath and remember that one of the things I prize most is civil dialogue- even when you don’t agree. Number one would have been VERY satisfying for a moment but in the end…it just wasn’t who I am.
So, I hit “delete” and started again explaining and apologizing that this was not who I was, that I had been caught at a very bad time and that I was taking out a lot of my anger about what was going on in my life on her and that it wasn’t right.
It was VERY hard to start writing that comment.
I was still angry.
But as I continued to write and focused on the truth of the situation I had calmed myself down by the time I reached the end and genuinely felt remorseful for my disrespectful rebuttals.
I hit publish and felt a great deal of relief.
She replied and was much softer and also remorseful and I went to bed feeling much better then when I woke up.
The next day I got an email from her saying that she had been reading the archives of my blog and had been moved and had laughed out loud at many of my entries. I gave her enormous credit for taking the time to get to know me better and told her that often some of my best online friendships have been born out of cruddy situations and misunderstandings.
We have had some emails back and forth and I genuinely like her.
The point of this tale is that it can be pretty easy to get carried away with emotion online and in general. I am guilty of it. I have done it more often then I care to admit, especially when coming to the defense of others. Another flaw is that I often jump to a conclusion without using prudence (Zach Braff is STILL not dead as far as I am aware. Sorry about that. Heh.). I have vowed to correct this and not jump on the emotional bandwagon until I am sure it’s a ride I want to take.
There have been several drama filled and heated events hitting our internet world as of late. Whether it is about Balloon Boy or if MyBottlesUp actually had her child taken by TSA agents or if it is a lie, I am asking, no…begging for civility to reign. Much of the credibility of the blogging world has been damaged, turning into a pitchfork weilding mob will not exactly enhance our reputation.
I am not saying to sweep anything under the rug, to pretend like nothing has happened, to not voice disappointment or even anger over these things. MANY feel their trust was abused and broken and that is not a small matter.
What I AM saying is that people are often carried away in the moment. Also, people WILL disagree with you in the midst of passionate feeling and you need to try your best to not resort to name calling and ugliness.
Passion does not have to equate disrespect.
I appreciate how hard it is to reign in those feeling and to realize you may have gone too far. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP, TAKE A BREATH, APOLOGIZE AND START OVER.
Never.
Please fight for civil exchanges and conversations, people.
This lovely community of ours deserves nothing less.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
Well said darling. You are a classy lady.
Thank you buckets, love you back, babe.
The voice of reason, as always :) I like it.
Awe, thanks babe. I appreciate that. xo
Loralee,
Another reason why I love you…whether it’s to believe them or not, whether you feel stupid after for believing and getting emotionally involved, there is value in stepping back and breathing through your anger and frustration.
XOXOXO
It’s tough.People have a right to feel VERY strongly about these things. It’s not a small matter. I felt pretty stupid and upset over a lot of them but that encounter with my reader made me slow down and gauge how I felt and gave me good response time. And I hated what I saw unfolding.
BRAVO, sunshine. I wish more people would do this – realize that we don’t have to agree with each other to discuss something or be friends. I wish for it in the Land O’ Blogs and in real life. And you are so spot on and I thank you for writing this: “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP, TAKE A BREATH, APOLOGIZE AND START OVER.” So, so true. It is never too late to be decent.
I used to be of the mindset that everyone should be friends and would get my feelings hurt by any disagreement, but that is just not allowing human nature to take its course. Now, I realize that passion or a strong opinion does not mean you are a troll or a hater.
But you can show your differences without slamming the dissenting party.
And thanks! Jurgen Nation commented on my blog! WHEE!!! (Yes. I am 12.)
Hee. So…
DO think before tweeting.
DON’T call people cunts on Twitter.
I’m learning, Loralee! I swear!
I heart you.
LOL! You crack me up, woman. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad. I love people on both sides.
I heart you, too!
You’re welcome in my hotel room ANYTIME. (You know, except that it was, um, YOURS. Hee!)
It needed to be said. Thank you.
I got trampled on by this, and it hurts like hell. But I’m trying to stay respectful, and to move on from it. I owe it to everyone else, but most of all to myself.
I’m sorry there was trampling involved, sweetie. That can hurt bad. I have been trampled enough that I try really hard not to do it to others. Move on and realize that the other party(ies) probably feel(s) bad, too. xoxo
I love you, my Scorpio friend. And stop stealing thoughts in my head. Must work on my genius post right now…
I’m really just stalking you!
It’s hard to get the Scorpio vibe under control.
Excellent. There’s nothing wrong with being passionate or hurt or upset… but spewing off without thought and with nothing but malice is counter productive to any kind of debate. It’s also unfair to yourself. Thanks :)
I love the “Unfair to yourself”. It’s exactly how I feel. (Though if I didn’t agree I wouldn’t yell at you. hee)
dude… you are being SO antagonistic in this post! :) bravo! I completely agree! “IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO STOP, TAKE A BREATH, APOLOGIZE AND START OVER.” Best line… (<– no comment from Arjun is complete without an ellipsis)! Great post for a tired, boring Monday morning! Gracias Loralee!
You and your elipsis! ;P
I love you.
What you did with your email was exactly perfect.
I love you and wish that I could Hug the hell out of you again.
I’m so proud and honored to count you as a friend.
Right back at you, babe.
Its always good to hear when someone takes the high road. Its always hard to put pride aside and do what you know is right. Thanks for sharing this experience with us.
It’s SO hard to put pride aside sometimes, but it you are almost always a better person for it.
Brava! It’s so damn hard to be civil sometimes (yes, David? You know something about this? Why yes I do), but it’s also so damn important. Yelling accomplishes nothing. Talking, discussing, SHARING. They all make the impossible, possible. Have I mentioned how proud I am to be your friend? I am. Truly.
And right back at you, David. Truly.
Thank you for sharing this story and your reaction! So very smart of you to think twice and start that reply over again! I hope all of us can learn from you. Very smart, classy post today! Love from AZ!
It was hard because man, I was frustrated and angry at the day. I would have felt horrible after, though.
Beautiful post. Off to spread the good word & retweet you.
Thank you huge buckets for the RT.
Well said my friend, well said.
I just wrote a comment and realized that it was longer than your post. Yeah. I have a problem with doing that.
Anyway – I’ve recently undergone stuff like this – except mine has been with my sister-in-law over money she owes me. A lot of money that the absence of kept me from buying the car we so desperately need. To keep it short, I wrote an email that was a little passive aggressive and she blew up on me. She blamed me for things that had nothing to do with me and she crossed several lines in the process. I told her that she was right, that it indeed was all my fault, because had I listened to her brother and never gotten close to her at all we wouldn’t be in this situation. I told her that her brother thinks she’s a conniving bitch and a few other fairly hateful things. Well, let’s just say that the whole thing exploded. After about a week I realized that through all the name calling, we were getting nothing accomplished. I wrote to her and apologized for most of the things I said (not all – I couldn’t go that far.) and we’re not fighting anymore. I don’t know if I will ever see that money, but whatever. I’m not forgiving or forgetting about it, but after that fight I am ready to just let go.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s okay in certain instances to just let it go.
That sucks about your SIL. It would be much harder to reign myself in if my family’s situation was harmed because of something another had done.
You done good, babe. :)
While I agree with you that civility is what makes a community good, punishment also needs to come as a consequence to really crappy actions.
Considering the unedited video that’s been released of the TSA incident, from multiple angles, its clear that the blogger in question blatantly told boldfaced lies. Her son was never out of her custody. Period.
She defamed the TSA, the agents working there, and even brought the names of her husband and her mother into a completely fictional story. And she should expect a backlash as the public finds out the truth. And personally, I think she deserves it.
The blogging community, much like the real world, needs to expect people to own to their actions. Its not somewhere where you should be able to put scandalous falsehoods and then hide behind empty apologies.
I blog anonymously, insomuch as that I don’t attach my legal name to my blog. But I attach my blog name to all comments and own to the fact that I made them, even if they don’t go along with popular opinion and take heat for some things I say. If you attach your name to a whopping huge lie about something as big as the TSA, expect to take the heat when people find out you’re full of it.
However, I do echo the call for civility as far as not calling the blogger in question names, or taking anything else out of the story. I can express my disgust with the lies without swear words and without mocking her. I’d just like to see her admit that she lied.
I know that everyone wants her to say she lied.
She may never do that.
People WILL be frustrated with it and lash out.
Understandable but I hope that people can do it without crossing a line.
Nowhere did I state that civility negates punishment or the very correct statement that punishment should occur. Far from it. As I said already, I don’t think people should sweep anything under the carpet or turn a blind eye. I know that what has gone on is extremely serious.
But I absolutely believe punishment IS occurring and also will likely continue…possibly with legal issue if TSA chooses to go down that path. I have left one comment on one blog and consider it done. She is getting utterly crucified and I just don’t think throwing another log of ugly on the pyre will do myself any good personally.
There is a difference between calling someone out, expecting answers, and saying you believe she lied and being hideous about it.
Also, my concern isn’t just for what is being hurled at HER and the people who are combing every inch of her blog for ammunition against her, it is the infighting and ugliness between other bloggers about their stances in what has gone on.
It isn’t good for anyone.
Oh I agree that hurling insults at each other isn’t good at all. I don’t disagree with you there. And I completely understand that you weren’t saying she should be without consequences.
I’m just hearing too many people that “just want to forget about it,” and that irks the crap out of me. “Just forgetting it,” is how people get away with some really crappy stuff. Turning a blind eye hasn’t worked out so well in history, and it annoys me when people do.
Sorry if that got spewed on your blog. I completely respect your call for civility (and I swear I was *trying* to be civil) but at the same time, I’d completely support TSA going after this particular blogger for defamation through the legal system. I know I’d do it, if it was me being accused.
You didn’t spew, not at all. And I wasn’t one bit annoyed. I don’t mind disagreement or discussion…its often groovy. I just had to firmly clarify that I did not expect people to not have consequences.
She is having huge consequences within the community and honestly… TSA seems to have a good libel case if they want to pursue it. I really think that is enough punishment, you know?
The outcry is REALLY starting to be disproportionate in comparison to what happened.
Another reason I love you. ‘Nuff said.
You always take the high road, Lou. I admire that very much about you. xo
I wanted to post about this very topic. But I seriously doubt I could have said it as well as you did.
So thank you.
That makes me grin. THANK YOU.
with all the things going on this past week/weekend I guess I am glad that I was away for most of this. I do agree, that most times people have to agree to disagree or it just gets ugly. Kudos to you for trying to get everyone to just get along. xoxo
It was a week I would gladly have been in some internet free jungle somewhere. :)
I don’t even expect people to get along.
It’s not realistic.
However, I DO know that people ABSOLUTELY CAN disagree, even passionately without ripping down others in the process.
I have seen plenty of heated comments to Nic that don’t cross the line but get the point absolutely heard that they are angry, disappointed, furious and irate about what went down.
Great post – well said. I am very new to the blogging world and am learning my way slowly. I am so glad I read your post today because it really put things in perspective for me, and this entire drama filled week has been such a learning experience. Thanks for this reminder to just stop for a minute before hitting that send button and to take a deep breath. Whether it be email, texting or blogging, we all need that reminder sometimes.
It was pretty hard learning in my early blogging days. I got carried away way too often. Holding my tongue has been a long, hard lesson, but I am glad to have perspective most of the time.
Now, watch. I am totally going to go OFF on someone one day and eleventyhundred people will call me a hypocrite. Hee hee hee!
Seriously, though…thanks. It’s lovely to hear from a newling!
You classy bitch. I love you so.
“I’ll eat you up I love you so!”
Oh, wait. That would imply you are a dude. A pre-pubescent dude named, Max. A pre-pubescent dude named Max that is perpetually wearing pajamas.
And I would be some huge, round monster thing.
Never mind.
I’ll leave it at I LOVE YOU, TOO! BEEAAATTTCCCHHH!!!
xoxooxoxox!
Very well said!
I have watched this most recent ‘drama’ play out. Then while trying to avoid the dirty dishes (again!) I played the click through game and ended up on a blog with a battle raging about working mom vs SAHM (again!) and the Dr Phil Show – and both of these have me shaking my head entirely!
For a community that comprises so many who position themselves as writers – and pride themselves as such – surely they have at their disposal the skills with which to articulate their viewpoint, and their indignation if necessary, without resorting to what basically comes down to mudslinging.
It seems like there is always some “War” brewing on the internet. I’ve seen them so many times I am just tired of them. I keep hoping others will feel the same but…no.
I just keep hoping it gets better.
thanks for this. it’s funny how i wrote about standing by a friend through turmoil, and how difficult it is at times, yet many still haven’t acknowledged that post, nor reached out to her as I thought (hoped?) they might. in fact, many have shied away from me – for what? to take a stand? OY. perhaps some feel guilty for their role in their gossip-mongering. it can be such an ugly community, sadly.
it hurts to realize who your true friends are but it’s oh-so liberating too. *sigh*
thanks for this, nonetheless. you truly are one of the good ones, loralee.
Oh, man…forgiveness is a whole nother topic that could be written about endlessly.
The one thing I have learned about it is that it can’t come a moment before the person is ready to give it. For some it comes slower then others or not even at all.
I thought your post was brave and full of courage, friend. I don’t agree with anyone punishing you for defending people you love.
The silence may be people working through things. They may feel like they are defending their friend. They may just not be ready. It’s a more complicated situation as it involves more then one person and their story.
I honestly have no idea as really no one talks to me about it…so these are just guesses.
Whatever the outcome, I have always been behind you and love you to death. (And I am trying my best. I am a pretty imperfect person) LOVE YOU.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Karen Sugarpants and KYouell, Supa Dupa Fresh. Supa Dupa Fresh said: Even if u are having the day from HELL, count 10 before u hit "send:" http://bit.ly/t4Ahs @looneytunes knows. [...]
Cruddy situations? Misunderstandings? I can’t imagine what you are talking about.
Well said, anyway.
UGH.
I know you know exactly what I am talking about.
xo
I don’t have much to add, I just saw your tweet about consequences.
The worst consequence for Nic is she lost trust and that in the blogging world is gold. You can hope that she will do what it takes to earn it back.
Trust on the net is really all we have since that is all the exposure we have to someone. It’s tough when it’s put into question or broken. No matter what the outcome, I feel deeply for her. This must be an extremely shitty time for her.
I very rarely comment on this blog, or any others, because I have to stop and think if the blogger really cares what I have to say, even if it’s a “been there, done that” comment. It’s so easy to be misunderstood on the web. And this very reason is why I don’t blog, because I couldn’t take the haters and the disagreement. I posted this very innocuous statement on my Facebook status: “Zoë thinks that no one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick. If you agree, please post this as your status for the rest of the day.” Well, my uber-conservative MIL about had a fit and posted a bunch of comments about how Obama is trying to kill us all with socialized medicine. She then got into an online argument with an old school friend of mine in England. It about killed me. I was literally burning up inside. Can’t we all just agree to disagree? I thought both you and Jonathan made wonderful cases for your position on health care reform – I almost sent you an email telling you so, then life got in the way. You are a very brave person for putting yourself out there, and I don’t understand the people who get off on sending hate emails or nasty snide comments. You rock, Lorelee!
THANK you. It’s tough sometimes. I am sooooo not perfect at it, but just because I (or others) fail is no reason to stop trying, though.
I empathize with your situation on health care. My family is very conservative and they have MANY of the same feelings. There has been more then one argument and sometimes I haven’t been sure we can all get through it in one piece.
But I love them and they love me and we’re all doing our best to make it work and get along.
You are a kind soul Miss Loralee.
I am sad for parties on both sides of the TSA hot mess.
I think some people just can’t feel good about themselves unless they are bashing or ridiculing someone else. Unless a person was present – they will not know what really happened, so why are people going for the jugular?
You, on the other hand are very gracious – a true lady!
I gotta go read Karen Sugarpants now – coz I luff you both!
It’s horrible all the way around. It’s definitely a big ugly mess for sure.
I do think many were justifiably angry and feel their trust was broken. Not only that but many spread the story and so that taints THEIR good name and credibility.
I think there is definitely enough question that they are allowed to feel that way.
But yes…some have taken it to insane levels and it really needs to just stop. Consequence is happening and hopefully it can be one of those situations that can be confirmed definitively so there is zero question.
Thank you for the love and the same for Karen. I deeply appreciate it. She’s a gem. xo
Thank you for this. As I read posts today, I am thrilled to see where people have remained civil, because so many haven’t. Your post and Karen’s post from today are both awesome.
THANK YOU BABE.
xo
A-freakin-MEN.
Abso-freakin-lutely.
Very well said, Loralee. And as I have learned, it is very difficult to assure that the tone you have intended to establish in the printed word is perceived by the recipient. Have gotten my butt in trouble a couple of times with emails.
I really liked what you had to say, as always.
Oh, I hear you on that one. Often I refuse to engage with people in email and insist it be done in person or on the phone because the situation is delicate enough that I won’t chance the possibility of misunderstanding.
Being civil and the two incidents you cited are slightly diffent. No, personal information should be published on the people who did these things, but both need to be called out for what they did. Yes, I can say I think the balloon stunt and the TSA stunts were absolutely stupid, but some people go overboard and go into disrespect.
I don’t see how civil cannot apply to both situations.
Again…I said distinctly that I had NO PROBLEM with them being called out or people voicing anger, upset or letting it be known that their trust is broken. There is enough damning evidence that people have reason to doubt. If you don’t, that is fine…I get trusting a friend and wanting to believe the best in people. But I can see WHY people are pissed and upset and want an accounting.
My post is not about avoiding dissent or protecting people form consequence.
It is about stating in a way that gets your point across without stooping to hideousness or ugliness. Especially in discourse with your fellow bloggers about it.
My point is people have carried things too far in many cases, but then you have the ones who think that you should not call people out at all for what they have done, even if all you say is the incident was stupid and they should have thought first. I beleive in I can disagree with the writer, but there needs to be respect in what I say.
I don’t think that way.
I don’t blame people for not getting involved, I really don’t. This is a pretty smelly, icky mess and some just don’t want that in their lives for various reasons. (Like a friend of mine. She has enough drama in her real life, so she stays far far away from it online, you know?)
I agree that if you goof, you should have consequences for sure. (IOW…we agree. Heeh)
Great post. Mis-communication is the root of so many troubles, for so many.
Thanks for reminding people to play nice.
It really just undermines everything. There has already been so much damage, why add more, you know?
This is a very strong lesson.
I have a ridiculously short fuse. I am generally someone who reacts quickly and loudly.
For this I have decided to sit back and watch a bit. True, there are some DM’s on twitter that are maybe a bit harsh, but that was why I decided to keep them off the main feed.
People don’t seem to realize that some of them are coming off worse than she is…simply by the way they are choosing to respond.
I am dissapointed. I am hurt, but not as much as some. I am mostly hurt because while I am not going on a witch hunt…I do have to wonder what else this woman who wants to be a fiction writer has practiced on me.
Loralee, you are one classy lady.
I think that many people are reviewing their relationships with wondering what on earth to think about them. It’s one reason why all this has become so emotional I think.
Kudos for observing and waiting…especially when you know you have a short fuse.
xoxo
L.
“Passion does not have to equate disrespect.” Beautifully said. The more and more posts I read about not spreadng the hate or getting involved in wars I feel worse for posting my thoughts. I don’t think I was disrespectful, but now I kind of feel that way for just posting about it. It is not like me to weigh in. I am not a writer, much less a good one. These wars are almost comical to me because they are not solving anything. Your post on health care? Solving. WAH vs. SAH NOT sovling.
I have a teeny tiny little blog, that only a few poeple usually comment on. I just started it to some very painful and heavy personal, REAL experiences. Nic has always shared that with me. Shared things I haven’t shared with people IRL. I guess I should feel stupid, but I won’t stop believing in people. I can’t. Too mant others are so, so good.
I am angry, but I am angry at the hate spewers. The ugliness of this is out of control. There are WAY worse things done everyday. I am not saying let her off the hook all the way around, but hate against her and her family is disgusting.
Thank you for writing this. You have such an unbelievable way with words. Bloggers like you make me, the newbie with her feelings hurt, believe I am doing a good thing and should stick it out in the blog world. The good does out weigh the bad.
Just like in real life. Imagine that.
The hate is disgusting but I cannot fault people for being really pissed. Aside from broken trust, and hurting the credibility of blogging in general, ect. if she lied, people could have lost their livelihoods. That can cause some pretty intense back lash.
But those that go overboard that need to take a chill pill and lose the mob mentality.
NEVER feel bad for posting your opinions and your thoughts. If you feel you weren’t disrespectful you probably weren’t. Most know when they cross the line, even if they won’t admit it.
My post is not meant for people to feel bad for entering input-NOT AT ALL. You don’t have to feel anything, one way or the other. I am not asking people to turn on Nic or not to believe her.
Not at all.
That is left up to the individual. I DO think that there is more then enough evidence against her story that I do not blame people for being upset, angry and worried about their own credibility for supporting her story.
You also don’t have to feel stupid for believing in people or even believing in her. Nic has helped you through some dark, difficult times (and good LORD I will never forget what you and your family has been through). I can see how this would be hideously painful to watch as her friend.
It’s painful for me and I don’t know her well other then tweets. I have made some massively stupid mistakes and wonder what would have happened if it had occurred on the internet.
Don’t give up on blogging because of this. If nothing else, I think that this is a very, very, very clear and tough lesson of how important it is to have integrity in your writing (and your commenting for that matter)
You are a doll. Thank you for the compliments. You’re pretty swell yourself. xo
See? This is why I think you are so amazing.
It takes a lot of self restraint to keep yourself from hitting the publish button in anger-I know, because I have done it myself too. I am a reactor, especially if I’ve had a bad day and no coffee, my head just might explode all over you.
This whole thing gave me a good line tonight to use on Jake, when we caught him speaking disrespectfully online. It’s from Blog with Integrity,
“I will own my words, even if I have to eat them.”
I swear I thought I replied to this. GRRR…dang computers.
I love the line from Blog With Integrity, even though I am conflicted about how they have gone about handling this situation.
You. Are awesome.
Again.
I think what’s tough about this all is this crazy, vengeful, “I’m gonna make you PAY” response to deceit. I know it sucks having egg on your face but the response often seems disproportionate to the actual crime.
Or misdemeanor, in the case of the balloon fraud.
I luff you. And I completely agree.
I sometimes need to take a step back when I am ready to loose it. Because more often than not it is not that actual event that I am ticket at.
Absolutely. Sometimes I am justifiably angry but what is going on in my life exacerbates it.
Beautifully written piece (once again).
Not hitting Publish, so hard to do sometimes. But I love that when you do hit Publish and feel it is not right, you go back in and edit it and try to restore/heal the damage done.
Love you.
Sometimes I haven’t been able to fix the damage and I’ve had to live with it. Consequences, you know.
It’s a powerful lesson to try to keep in mind in the heat of anger for sure.
But the fact that you try. That is important.
“..forgiveness is a whole nother topic that could be written about endlessly.
The one thing I have learned about it is that it can’t come a moment before the person is ready to give it. For some it comes slower then others or not even at all.” – it also can’t come before the person seeks it (which they may never do). But, we can work through it ourselves, so that we don’t allow the person to live rent-free inside us, affecting our whole outlook and choices in life.
“Passion does not have to equate disrespect.”
I couldn’t agree more.
xoxo
It IS one of the more awesome things I’ve written, I agree. :)
Yes. Civility. I try my hardest and sometimes, like you, I fail to measure up. But the great thing is that we can try again and ask for forgiveness and move on.
I’m so sorry to hear about your sister having MS. My sis had MS, too, and it was a combination of suck and horror and an amazing opportunity to live mindfully and lovingly. Email me if you ever need any help or support with that.
Suebob,
You are my internet hero. Seriously. You have the backs of people LIKE NO OTHER and I have never seen you cross a line.
I have utter respect for you, woman.
P.S> I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I am still stubbornly holding on to a tiny shred of hope because she hasn’t had the final MRI to confirm. I know I am probably wrong but hope is good…right?
I’m so sorry to hear of your sister’s bad new. Nice job on handling the email. It’s a good reminder for everyone.
And this is why I love you.
I find it best to write a big long comment in Word, so the spell check tests everything and I can make it look pretty, then delete it and leave no comment at all.