Since I don’t want to blog about the massive suckitude that has been this month or the shambles my personal life is in at the moment, I think I’ll just say eff it and talk about something that is really controversial and utterly, super-duper important.
Twilight.
I feel like I am betraying my gender by typing it, but it’s true; I am not a Twilight fan.
This isn’t a post slamming those who like or love or even worship them. Although, if you go to the extent of making glittery FaceBook badges, own clothing that says “Mrs. Edward Cullen” in glitter on any part of it, or make your husband sit in an ice bath and paint his skin with white, glittery body paint, I MIGHT have to mock you just a little. (YOU have the right to mock me for having an obvious and unfair prejudice about glitter.)
It’s not that I don’t like gushy, cheesy, overly romantic things. I loved Titanic. Hell, I adored The Outlander series so much I actually tried to write a historical romance novel before having my aspiring inner author crushed to nothing by the author. (Really, that is a story for another day.)
Granted, I was a good decade plus younger with both of these things, but still…I’m not opposed to things resembling this series. I’ve tried to like it. I’ve read all the books and even watched the flippin movie, but I just cannot bring myself to give it a thumbs up.
To be fair there are probably a lot of things in my personal nature that prevent me from driving to Forks to have an “I love Edward” orgy on the front lawn of Forks high school.
Let’s look at a few.
1. I’m not one that usually buys into fads, trends, or huge viral phenomenons. At least not lightly.
The absolute craze of these books turned me off of them before I even read them. If everyone and their mother (and that is LITERALLY the case here) starts foaming at the mouth at something, I almost deliberately go the other way on purpose. It took me until book 4 to start reading Harry Potter and it’s because my parents had book one at their house and there was nothing else to read. Granted, there are some things that I absolutely jump on the “I LOVE THIS” bandwagon, but it’s more the exception then the rule.
2. I have personal hang ups that piss me off about this story.
I may or may not have actually thrown the damn thing against a wall when reading it when a few things hit a little too close to home a couple of times.
That said, I know that the first reaction for everyone from your BFF’s to your mother when someone doesn’t like something you do is the “they’re just jealous!” defense.
I’m actually willing to consider that.
I’m married to the emotional equivalent of a Vulcan. Not that he doesn’t have ANY feelings, but I am pretty damn confident that Jonathan would rather tazer his own scrotum than utter a tiny fraction of the dialog that Edward walks around spouting day after sleepless day.
And I am sure that some of that spouting is pretty damn nice to hear.
So, perhaps it’s true and I am just a jealous hater and totally giving this series a bad rap because of it.
Maybe.
3. I think it’s setting up horrible expectations about relationships and what a straight man (vampire or not) is capable of.
Some relationships have actually been really helped along by these books. More than one guy has gotten laid simply because his wife goes on a Twilight bender. And dude, if some guy is happy to get some nooky because of some juvenile fiction, who am I to judge?
BUT.
So many woman I read about and hear about go overboard to the point of being dissatisfied (to hugely varying degrees) that their partner isnt Edward Cullen.
It’s been sad to read and hear about, actually.
From depression with their relationship after reading them to it being a key player in a marriage dissolving, there just seems to be a lot of fall out with these books. Obviously it’s not the author’s fault that a relationship falls apart nor is it all on the book. A relationship that is wounded,or ends because of literature had some really big problems with it in the first place. If you get depression after reading them you probably have some pretty big issues with it outside of these series.
It just seems that for whatever reason, these books just seem to have a powerful sway and reaction triggers in an awful lot of women that goes beyond enjoyment, having it be a guilty pleasure or even devotion, and it turns me off.
And?
If I were a guy I would sort of want to punch the author of this book out for the sheer expectation this puts on men (No, I am not advocating violence. It’s figurative, dude.).
If I were a man I would hate, loathe and DESPISE the day that Edward Cullen was created.
His perfect, gorgeous, strong, plays the piano, composes music, speaks several languages, is loaded, romantic, brooding, dresses perfectly, throws a killer fast ball, he effing glitters while writing endless love letters in perfect calligraphy AND somehow does all of this while being absolutely straight.
NO ONE CAN COMPETE WITH THIS GUY.
Especially some poor, zit ridden high school boy who is still years away from figuring out that it isn’t entirely his fault that his female partner is capable of freaking the hell out once a month for no apparent reason.
I know that I am putting little faith in the teenage girls of the world and I know that certainly not every girl would be effected, but I am going from personal experience here. I would have TOTALLY BOUGHT INTO THIS AS A TEENAGER. That this was how relationships should and COULD be.
Wrong, wrong, wrongity wrong.
Even if a small minority of people are blessed with that kind of attraction and passion those relationships can be really hard and tricky to navigate. The fallout can be pretty bad. And if it ever turns? OY. Not good.
Would everyone love that kind of passion and devotion?
Probably. At least for awhile. It might get exhausting and annoying when you really just want some alone time already or when all your furniture is broken from your wild couplings. I certainly wouldn’t have the stamina for it, but then I suppose if I were a vampire I would have a titanium-esque vagina, so it might be a moot point.
At the end of the day I think if there are grown women out there getting relationship confusion/dissatisfaction out there it would be way harder for a teenage mind to sort it all out. So, it’s just not something I would want an impressionable girl reading with rabid devotion.
With the level of obsession that has happened with these books, I don’t think I am totally off in left field here.
4. I’m not a huge fan of young adult literature.
I find it too simple and not meaty enough in plot and execution in general. If I am going to fall in love with it it needs to be something like Ender’s Game or The Golden Compass. These books pale in comparison to the two.
5. I just have problems with the storyline and characters.
While it wasn’t a horrible read, I’m just not a fan of the writing. Even for a young adult book I found it really lacking in a lot of ways.
That’s a biggie.
And seriously, I cannot for the life of me figure out why two men are fighting so hard over the character of Bella because REALLY? She just seems so, so, SO not worth it. She started off as someone who was rather interesting and dissolved into absolutely NOTHING outside of this guy. She basically just became a reason for him to throw himself in front of cars and rescue the damsel in distress. I’m not hating on the damsel line. Some of it is absolutely sexy but it just got to be freaking stupid and ridiculous.
My reaction was similar to the ONE problem I had with the bestest movie ever made. The scene in The Princess Bride when Buttercup is just standing there with a club watching the love of her life, Westley, getting eaten by a big ass rat in The Fire Swamp AND SHE JUST STANDS THERE DOING NOTHING.
DUDE! HIT THE EFFING R.O.U.S WITH THE DAMN CLUB ALREADY AND HELP YOUR GUY OUT, YOU WUSS!!!!
I also found the “Sleeping” storyline lame. I think that the expectation of having a guy hang out all night in a girl’s room with absolutely nothing happening is unlikely at best. It’s a little freaky if you think about it. This guy breaks into her room and sits there and watches her sleep all night?
Uh…
And let’s see…she is willing to, um, have her jugular bit into and pretty much DIE and turn into a creature that must constantly fight the urge to rip open the necks of other humans and suck their blood to be with The Glittery One for all eternity but she just CAN’T BRING HERSELF TO MARRY HIM?!
If I were to be a fan of any of them I suppose it would be Jacob, though I hate the way he loves and hangs on to Bella even when she treats him like absolute shit. THAT is no good example, either. And I should know. I think it’s why I hate that particular story line so much. The way it’s handled pisses me off. All the ways she chose to wrap up most of her story lines were fairly lame but most of all was Jacob’s stupidly convenient “instantaneous attachment to a 2 yr. old”.
It kind of gives me butt heebies when I think about it .
Barf.
And the biggest flaw of all with the story?
I could buy that there are vampires and werewolves roaming around Forks, Washington. Hell…I can even buy that they are “Vegan Vampires” of a sort.
However, I will NEVER believe that some dude that has apparently been walking the earth for 90 years would voluntarily choose to hang out perpetually with teenagers for eternity.
NOPE.
So, there’s my admission.
I have more issues but really, these are the main ones so why kick a dog while it’s down and get petty? I know that many, many, MANY OF YOU will utterly disagree with me here and that’s cool.
REALLY.
Just don’t send me glittery hate mail, yo.
:)
I blogged about this same topic (not nearly as well) earlier this week. (You stole the idea from my meager blog, didn’t you?) My theory about why Twilight is so popular in spite of its banality is this:
The majority of people who were clamoring for me to read the BEST BOOK EVER OMGEEEEEEEEEEE weren’t fervent readers. There are so many books out there that are one hundred million times better than this insipid teenage saga. How do people not know this?
In a lot of ways it’s like some blogs that people DIE over that I just do.not.get.
And yes. I totally copied you. I can’t help it. I stalk you and watch you while you sleep.
This whole tirade is just a cover to throw suspicion off of me.
:)
You got the sleep-watching idea from Edward, you habitual copier.
My 87 readers are going to hear about this.
Also, now I’m curious to know which blogs you’re referring to.
“Also, now I’m curious to know which blogs you’re referring to.”
Yeah, like I’m going to step into THAT pile of shit. :)
I am so an unoriginal copier. In fact, I AM Edward. I needed a blogging outlet to stem my frustration at hanging around such a nitwit all the time.
Now that I have been outed, I am crying bitter, glittery tears.
Oooh, shiny!
I have not read the book and after scrolling through all 100+ comments I can see I was right in my decision. There’s too much really good stuff out there (you should see my book piles) to give in to the hype over this series.
I’ll admit to liking Harry Potter though.
HEY!
I was just scrolling through my BlogHer photos and found the one of us by the fountain!!!!! :)
Um…yeah. Totally with you. I read the books, didn’t like them. Never saw the movie and don’t intend to. My biggest beef…I HATE BELLA. Seriously. She is the most annoying thing EVER!
Bella is seriously my biggest beef with the entire thing.
Do. Not. Like.
Eh, when I saw the internets making a huge deal about it, I considered reading it. That was until several people who loved it admitted the writing is terrible. Not to mention, I am not big on fantasy stories. My mom bought me the first book for Christmas but I have yet to crack it open. Frankly, I fnd the entire craze nothing short of annoying.
I’m not huge on sci-fi, fantasy either. I admit that this was a HUUUGE strike against it on my list.
Right there with ya, Lor. I am SO not a Twilight fan. And coming from the position of an apprentice author, if I have to read one more person’s vampire story rip off, I’m going to throw up. Half the girls in my writer’s workshop are writing vampire stories, and frankly, it’s just sad taht original thought is no more.
Vampire stories have been around forever, though. I can see how it would DEFINITELY roll your eyes though because THESE books are so popular. Like how everyone started writing wizardry books after Harry Potter came out.
Hopefully, it will be a growing experience for them and they will realize finding their own niche and story is way, way better. (I DID)
You had me at – “she is willing to, um, have her jugular bit into and pretty much DIE and turn into a creature that must constantly fight the urge to rip open the necks of other humans and suck their blood to be with The Glittery One for all eternity but she just CAN’T BRING HERSELF TO MARRY HIM?!”
It was such a desperate way to make her look like an independent female.
Yeah, like that paragraph is going to counter the other 3,000 pages.
Anytime Twilight is mentioned I consider doing two things regarding the fact that I will have two teenage daughters one day.
1. Re-writing it, having it printed to look just like the original and leaving it carelessly around so that they will THINK they’ve read the book.
2. Filtering every moment of every day so that it never comes up.
The whole twilight craze is an interesting phenomenon. I’m not wild about them either (though honestly, I liked the 4th one best). I did like The Host quite a bit.
I will suggest a young adult book for you – Princess Academy, by Shannon Hale. The “Princess” in the title is misleading – it makes it sound akin to Princess Diaries (which are fine in their own right) or something but that’s not accurate – it’s a great little fantasy with lots of group dynamics and such, an awesome main character, and I love it. You should try it. :)
I’ve heard good things about that, actually. Would boys dig it? I am trying to get my kids to be open to not having to have their wives be naked just to get them to watch a chick flick on video.
(I have no personal angst or experience with this. Ehem.)
If you are looking for good YA lit for boys (and girls) try the “tomorrow when the war began” series by john marsden. It is australian, so there is somewhat of a language barrier ;), but it is thought provoking and combines all the action/adventure romance etc that a decent teen book should have.
I’m always on the look for books for my boys! THANKS!
I haven’t read the books, but I nearly exploded when I watched the movie. And in a good way: the tension, the hawtness, the PERFECTION that is Edward, but see? Like a fine scotch, which to most would taste like smokey ass, my adult palette recognizes it as fantasy and that gets me off.
I agree with you 100% on all your points, I’m just saying that the fantasy of it all is alone-time-worthy or go-grab-your-man-worthy. Either way it’s sex fodder.
I wrote a similar post about stupid ass romance novels a few weeks ago. Shit like these books are horrible for young girls developing their relationship patterns and identities. And for the adult women out there whose relationships crumbled after reading the Twilight fables, I’m sure they were already miserable and then thought to themselves, Hey, there could be something better out there for me.
Anyway, I hear ya, girl.
Perfection? Even with the lipgloss and bouffant hairdo?
The actor? FIIINEEE.
But what they did to him in that movie was just wrong. :)
Believe it or not, my husband is actually the Twilight lover in the house, but he’s really into vampire lit and scifi, so it stands to reason. I’m like you, I go the opposite direction (most of the time, I do have an unhealthy love of facebook, there I said it) of popular fads. I hate 24 on principle, because my cousin told me it was the best show EVAR ON THE PLANETS!!111!!! And I HAVE to watch it. I won’t even watch a single episode. I don’t plan on starting in on Twilight. I have enough avenues of escapism.
I love that your husband loves Twilight. Maybe that makes me a total hypocrite but there it is. Hee.
I so agree with you. I find it vaguely creepy that so many moms are swooning over a character in a TEEN book.
I also didn’t jump on the Harry Potter bandwagon either. Found them poorly written.
I wish people could get excited about GOOD books. And not just book on Oprah or other cleverly marketed stuff.
And yeah..the Golden Compass was good.
But I don’t read romances…young adult or adult…so I don’t ‘fit’ in anyway.
I found HP just very clever. THAT was a book I could escape into (though seriously it got soooooo tedious by the end)
I also agree about the Oprah book club list but that is a post for another day.
I haven’t read any of the Twilight books, nor have I read any of the Harry Potter books…. and I’ve never watched any of the movies made from the books.
Still, vampires are hot. I kinda like my vampires like Angel and Spike and my heroine to kick ass like Buffy. There was a HILARIOUS Buffy vs Edward video that I saw online last week… lemme find…. http://www.rebelliouspixels.com/2009/buffy-vs-edward-twilight-remixed
Still, I plan on reading the Twilight books just to see what the heck all of the fuss is about. It’s pretty low on the list… somewhere beneath War and Peace.
Did you see the comment above that said their favorite shirt said,
“…and then Buffy killed Edward”????
HAHAHAHHA!
mwa a a arrrrrr
Bridgy is the one who I watched the movie with. Poor girl, I am afraid I did an awful lot of mocking. :)
I’ll admit, I totally jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. I lusted over Edward. But I accepted for what it was… A BOOK! But then I read it again and I realized that Edward was very controlling and the fact that he did sneak into Bella’s room to watch her sleep was creepy! Bella is also very whiny! Also the third book sucked! I hated that Bella pretended the “transformation” didn’t hurt. Give me a break they all know that is was a bitch to go through. I also read somewhere where a guy “figured out” the twilight phenonimom (sp?). Edward thinks like a 35 year old women! No man would every act or think like Edward.
I hated the third book. I’m pretty sure that is the one I threw against a wall.
I have zero interest in these books and subsequent movies. You’re not alone.
I’m never alone with you, friend. :)
I loved your synopsis of these books. Here’s my top 3 reasons why I’m a hater…
1. Bella = biggest whine-bag ever imagined.
2. Stephanie spent 3 books defining all her own rules for her vampires and then conveniently BREAKS THEM ALL for her precious little Bella. Heaven forbid Bella actually has to deal with the consequences of either choice she was going to make and maybe GROW UP A LITTLE!
3. Somebody shoulda DIED in that final “battle” at the end of book 4… oh, but wait, that might make Bella a little uncomfortable… we wouldn’t want that! Completely anti-climactic for a 4 book series about VAMPIRES!!
4. I know people say this a lot, but I agree… Renesmee? Really, thats the best name you could come up with for this mutant child!?
See, now you know.
I have now decided that if you add “Bag” at the end of an insult it makes it soooooooo much better.
Taking pencil, writing down “whine-bag”, filing it away for future use.
TOTALLY love you, coz!
Definitely start using “whine-bag” in daily conversations! It will make me feel better about how often I use the word “suckitude”. I’ve been thinking of you lots this week. Hope you’re okay.
Whine-bag is SO getting used, trust me. :)
This week could have been better. Me finding out on the air that Jon got the radio job I had been angling for for months after he said that he could “make himself available” for it REALLY did not help.
Long time reader, first time poster! Let me start by saying how much I love this blog. You have made me laugh and cry on so many occasions and to sum up my love for you – YOU ROCK!!!
I agree with many of the points you make about Twilight. I really enjoyed reading the series, but can’t understand the rabid obsession. Although if I were 15. . . Or should I say 11 (Funny story – a group 5th graders came to tour my library, and when they discovered my English accent, one of the girls asked me if I knew Rob Pattinson because “he’s English too.” – I wish!!!) Anyway, let me just say this – please do not give up on young adult literature because of these books. I am a librarian who adores kids books and is on a rabid pursuit of reading as many young adult books as possible. They are some of the best books out there. So, can I take the liberty of recommending anything by John Green, and Sherman Alexie? And you should read some Neil Gaiman, especially “Coraline” and “The Graveyard Book” (your oldest two will probably dig those two). And then there is “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist”. . . I could go on, but being the awesome woman that you are, you probably know all this stuff anyway.
Hope your week gets better!
HEY!
Happy to see you de-lurk!
I have a fabulous librarian friend who is soooooo cool and up on good YA lit. I have read it and enjoyed it but it’s not usually something I go buy over an adult read. (My children LOVE Neil Gaiman. She recommends the best books for them)
Is Nick and Norah’s a BOOK?
I LOVED the movie (although the gum made me want to barf huge buckets)
xo
This post? Makes me love you even more.
Twilight is just not for me. WAY overrated, WAY lame.
WAY.
I hope your head is hurting less. Have you been to your appointment yet?????
I think you can safely say you have written a great blogpost when your reader(s) go away and a) use YOUR material shamelessly for their debates (though I skipped the vagina part) b) wake up in the night and think “Wow, I must tell Loralee that!”
So I came back to say this….
It’s interesting that these books have engendered so much dissatisfaction in relationships. I went to bed thinking about that and this is the half baked theory I came up with.
Over the past 40 years ago the role and expectations for women has changed dramatically. We have so many choices now, ones that we have fought hard for, and for many women I think it’s all too much. The superwoman myth where I work full time, look effortlessly gorgeous, all the while being an awesome wife and mother is, well it’s exhausting and I stopped buying into it a while ago.
But we are BOMBARDED with media telling us to look a certain way, act a certain way etc etc
And whilst choices and expectations for women have shifted dramatically during this time, for men? Well not so much.
So no wonder these books are addictive, no wonder they are escapism, no wonder they cause damage to relationships. Because whilst women have made (or often been forced) into roles they don’t like or don’t want to fulfill, I simply don’t see the same burden of expectation being placed on men. No wonder Edward (your archetypal romantic hero) and Jacob (your hit you over the head with a club and drag you back to a cave to “ravish” you caveman) are so appealing to women.
Because quite frankly, being a woman is exhausting,
and the idea of being rescued?
Well it’s very appealing.
ps I live in Australia so quite possibly my perceptions are different.
Thanks Loralee for an awesome post.
xxx
No, doubt, seriously. AND I LOVE SAPPY ESCAPE RESCUE ME (on effing occasion)HANDSOME HERO BOY!
I just dislike THIS particular example of them.
Good theory and I really agree with a lot of it.
And hey…What did your class say about it? I’ve been dying to hear a teenager dissect the books.
My students of course, LOVE the books. (I teach mainly girls) However, it created some intense discussion about “Boyfriend” problems many of them were having and how, whilst they hadn’t thought of it before, the “Edward Cullen” factor did play a role in the dissatisfaction many of them had felt or were feeling.
That said, the interesting thing to come out what their universal dislike of Bella, but after analysing it, they recognised that Bella is a construct of them. Bella represents their hidden fears and shyness and desires. The thing is, where they are now EXPECTED to be brave, to be confident, to be more like, say Jessica, she isn’t. She doesn’t have to be, because Edward loves (Is unhealthily obsessed with) her. That’s what they hate about her character, because she is your stereotypical damsel in distress of bygone days, and whilst they don’t want to go back to the days of barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, they don’t necessarily want to have to live up to societal expectations of society today.
ps in Australia we use “s” rather than “z” in many words, so i’t not that i can’t spell. I just spell differently.
xxxxx
This is completely interesting to me. I wish that I could have been a fly on the wall for that discussion. I know that pretty much every teenage girl walking would dig these books but as long as they are thinking about it and looking at it, I think it’s fine.
I find the conflict very interesting: how they love the story but hate the weak female character. I wonder if they would have as huge an appeal if Bella were a stronger woman and Edward were less awesome.
Hmmmm….
and having re-read my post, it’s littered with errors.
My bad!
love this post Loralee.
LOVE it!
Dude, HAVE YOU READ MY BLOG!?????
It should pretty much just be titled, “THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO WITH THE ENGLISH WRITTEN WORD 101″!!!!
:)
I don’t go for the teenage literature thing anyway. It was horible when I was there the first time. As far as being a bad example, do you go around burning down stores that sell Playboy magazine? Come on, if you want something totally unrealistic (and plastic) it would be those women. We have lots of them around Vegas too.
I refuse to put Twilight in the same realm as porn. OF COURSE PORN IS WORSE as far as ‘unrealistic portrayal’
For one…those are real people. That changes a lot of things for me.
And as far as I can tell, I, um, haven’t set fire to anything. I didn’t say not to buy them or to boycott or to even feel bad for reading them. I said I didn’t like them and why. And yeah…it’s on the list.
Am I’m supposed to not worry at all about teenage girls thinking this is realistic because porn exists? When I had similar experiences and saw how it hurt my life? I can’t write and include that opinion in my post because Hustler is so much worse?
And dood…I am not some teenage advocate here. It’s just one of the reasons I don’t care for them.
I am with ya, babe, and in some ways we are like twins. (I’m the ugly one).
Loved His Dark Materials, too.
x
Supa
You’re the ugly one? WHATEV!!!!!
However, I would be more than ok with being The Funny One. ;P
I’m boycotting all that crap, without really boycotting it. I just ignore it, plain and simple. Have never and will never watch any of that Twilight or True Blood or whatever other vampire/werewolf crapola is out there. Just doesn’t interest me in the least.
Also, if I could walk into a store and NOT see some shirt about a vampire, my life would be SO MUCH BETTER.
LOL!!!!!!!
You could buy one and use it when you clean your toilets. I totally wanted to do that for a friend of mine.
Amen! I’ll leave it at that.
And really, that is totally adequate. :)
Oh… How I wanted to read all these comments… But I admit, I am lazy tonight and did not. As well, I didn’t want to see any spoilers for the books/movie, as I actually intend on reading/watching it at some point.
But I am not planning on reading/watching this stuff because I want to – it’s just so I know what the hell you guys are talking about when you bitch about it. I have avoided it this far for the same reason you avoided it for so long – I don’t do the fad stuff. I admit that I haven’t read the Harry Potter books, but not out of avoidance. I avoided the movies for a while, then fell in love with the story once I started watching them. But this? I want to bitch about it too. I want to be part of the cool kids group who doesn’t like it, but knows WTF they are talking about when they bitch about it because they are not ignorant to it. LOL.
Anyway, I can relate to not wanting to post about crappiness going on currently. I am trying to avoid that myself and I am finding it increasingly difficult the more I think about it. I am contemplating hitting up Her Bad Mother’s Basement with my issues – just to get them out of my head! LOL. I guess we will see.
I can’t write about it. It is all very personal, private and very painful. I wish I could but it would be a huge violation of other people.
SO? I am stuck with this for now.
And LOL!
If you like Twilight, you like it. I certainly won’t think any less of you for it, I just don’t. (I was kind of pissed I didn’t actually…it would have been nice to escape during the read time. As it was it just pissed me off. Sigh.)
I’m sorry that things are sucking a duck for you. I have thought about writing to The Basement for forever, but honestly…it also seems like so much hell to actually write it all out, you know?
I wrote about this once, and I was scared and wore a disguise for weeks. But, I ended up okay: http://rhiinpink.com/blog/?p=831
LOL! No one with pitchforks and torches came and hunted you down?
(I’m totally kidding. Most people are cool with it.)
Okay… #1- Amen to the whole post. Yeah- the WHOLE post.
#2- So maybe I was cleaning out my room the other day and guess what I found? Yeah- I totally STOLE YOUR TWILIGHT BOOK!! I think it was the 4th one. I need to get it back to you, because I know you just can’t function without your daily doses of Mormon porn.
#3- Have you ever heard of Riff Trax? They are really similar to Mystery Science Theatre 3000, if you know those. Basically you get to watch crappy movies with people talking/making fun of them at the same time! The only one I’ve seen was Twilight. Oh, man. I can’t tell you how much the quality of my life improved. :) Just go to this website http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight and watch the sample. It may not be funny unless you are in the right mood, but seriously… give it a try. :)
Michelle!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Actually, what happened is that I saw you reading book 2 during “Millie” performances and I said “HERE! Have book 4!” You said, “DUDE…that’s like a $30 book!” And I said, “I. am. never. reading. it. again. It’s YOURS!”
You did me a service, sistah!
And SOOOOOO checking out that link! :)
P.S. How goes the teaching? I bet you RULE.
It’s really nice to see that I’m not the only person not into Twilight. I think a lot like you, Loralee, in that I don’t buy into fads or trends either. I don’t like YA literature. And I really don’t understand the hype at all. I can’t really comment on the stories at all because I haven’t even picked up a book, but I CAN comment on the Harry Potter thing.
I had a friend who was a die hard HP fan-the kind who went to launch parties, read the books cover to cover the second she got one, analyzed them, etc. When the series ended she grieved, as if she had lost a friend. I really didn’t get it. I mean, it’s a BOOK. Sure, a fun book, but still-a BOOK. Then I committed the worst sin ever, by admitting that the hype had me really turned off and that I wasn’t *gasp* as loyal a fan as she thought I was. For me, being a fan means I’d see the movie at the theater, not that I’ll stand in line for three days to get the ticket. It was the beginning of the demise of our friendship.
Anyway when I told her how I had a hard time with people only reading it because it was so hyped, and how frustrated I was with it being shoved at me where ever I went, court cases over books accidentally released and said, “Good god it’s a BOOK aren’t there more important things in life”, she was appalled. She said that people who go against the flow on purpose are just as bad as those who blindly follow it and likely I was just jealous (ha!) and wanted to “get it”, but just couldn’t. She was irritated that I not only had the audacity to criticize the hype, but that I seemed “proud” that I was going against the flow.
I was. I am. I could care less about vampires and Harry Potter. I read a book because I enjoy it, everyone else’s opinions be damned. While books are valuable, I don’t believe that hype on the scale that it occurs today does anyone any good, except those making money off the product. I don’t care how much they hype Twilight, I have zero interest in it.
Wow. That is sad, but not really surprising. I did quite a bit of investigating online before writing this thing just to make sure I wasn’t up in the night and it was just people I knew that were affected by it that negatively.
I was sad to find out some of the stories. It blew. And so does this one. :S
So sorry you lost a friendship, babe. xoxoxo
AGREE! Oh how do I agree. I thought I was the only one. What a steaming pile those books are, and everyone is just all a-glitter.
Well said.
Well, we couldn’t have been all alone statistically. It would be like everyone in the world liking chocolate when quite a few just…don’t(Which I REALLY CANNOT BELIEVE).
I think it’s just more indicative of not wanting to rock the boat against massive popular opinion.
I haven’t read the books or seen the movie and have no desire too. And personally, I don’t think the actor playing Edward is attractive AT ALL. (In every picture I see of him, he looks like he’s drugged out.) Thanks for absolutely squelching any curiosity that might have lead me to try to read them in the future. It sounds like Edward has the character that drove me away from fanfiction (God, did I just admit to reading that?) — little girls turning their favorite character or actor into some impossible, fantastical ideal who was the epitome of what no man ever could, should, or want to be.
Also, I think I read an interview with Stephen King once when he basically said the different between the Twilight author and J.K. Rowling (Harry Potter author) is that Rowling can actually write. Whether you appreciate that or not depends on whether you’re a King fan, I guess (I don’t read his books because I’m not into horror, but I have no problem with him as a writer).
As long as it’s YOUR desire to not read or see them that is keeping you from it. I don’t have a wish to squelch or ruin this for anyone. Promise.
I’m just not a fan and have some concerns.
Stephen King is probably the genius writer of our time. He.is.amazing.
My favorite things are his non-horror fiction. There is a LOT of it. He even wrote a young adult book ironically that was AMAZING.
Coming from someone who loves YA fiction, I was surprised that I only got as far as finishing the first book and absolutely could not read the rest of them. The idea of the book never appealed to me, but I was working in a residential treatment center for teen girls and they were so incredibly obsessed with the books, I decided to check it out. My biggest problem with the story was the incredibly unrealistic relationship between Edward and Bella. Not only did it set horribly unrealistic standards, it was unbelievable! As in, I did not believe it. When J.K. Rowling writes about quidditch matches, even though I KNOW no such thing can possibly exist…I BELIEVE the story. But I could not believe that Edward and Bella would be so attracted to each other. They did not even KNOW each other! Did you notice that on all of their “dates” or any time they hang out, they NEVER talk about themselves, their interests, or even superficial stuff like movies or music. ALL they talk about is Edward’s vampirism. (Is that a word?) It just didn’t make sense to be and I have a hard time getting into a story if I can’t believe it.
I can actually buy someone having that much passion/attraction/whatever but NOT that fast nor without doing…ANYTHING.
Seriously…the not talking bugged me huge.
Also, as one who has an addictive/obsessive personality (miracle I’ve never been addicted to a substance or had an easting disorder, ect.) I would absolutely worry about that type getting into these books as a teenager.
And I hear you on the whole “Harry Potter” thing. I know there are so many books of fiction that are unrealistic BUT…yeah we’re on the same page about that.
I agree with so much of this it cracks me up! I liked the books but I didn’t oogle over them like so many women around me! Also need to note: My husband’s all time favorite book is Ender’s game and I have tried to read it but got lost on the whole squirrel having its’ flesh removed from it while still alive…
I am not remember that part of the book, but I haven’t read them in about 7 years. I just remember I LOOOOVED them.
I was a little late on the band waggon with these too. And for the same reason. They just got too popular too fast. I will admit to reading them, and liking them. But not to the extreme most have gone too. I really do hate Bella as a character and Kristen Stewart as the actress that plays her. But I will see the next movie. Its like a sick facination, I have to see the car wreck!
I can appreciate that angle. I finished the series because I felt compelled to. I may even see movie 2, who knows?
“1. I’m not one that usually buys into fads, trends, or huge viral phenomenons. At least not lightly. ”
I am totally like that, at least sometimes. I have a friend who is a relative of Stephenie Meyer’s. So she was going around with “She runs with vampires” as her email signature for a couple years before Twilight really got popular. I might have never read them if she wasn’t constantly saying how awesome and wonderful they were long before the world was. It ended up turning into a full time business for them too — she and her husband run http://twilightteez.com/
I think it’s great if she can help her family. I have no beef with that.
I liked the Twilight Series. For all the reason’s you didn’t like it. It IS a complete disconnect from reality. Which sometimes is nice. :-)
You didn’t get even a LITTLE skeeved at him imprinting on a 2 yr old?
LOL! Well I am a dude remember. ;-P
I agree with you on every point.
I have a witty, smart, cute colleague who once had a girl break up with him because he “wasn’t enough like Edward.” MESSED. UP.
Also, did you hear that the last Outlander book came out? I need to pick that series back up, I haven’t read them since she took that billion year break.
SO sad. But not uncommon. BLECK.
p.s. I went to see the Twilight movie with a few friends, they INSISTED I go with them for their second viewing. They were right, that movie was the best comedy of 2008! I hadn’t laughed that hard in a movie in a year.
People were pissed at us for laughing.
I’m shocked you didn’t get pelted and stoned. :)
I was seriously disturbed that my 12 year old niece (for lack of a better word) thought he was so swoony. I kept thinking he breaks into her house and watches her sleep! He should be arrested, not worshiped for that.
And don’t get me started on her storytelling skills. Ugh. My friend Rach calls them a Literary Shame F**k. She’s so right. I couldn’t help but read them, but the walk of shame from Barnes and Noble was pretty bad.
No, no! They are for my niece, I swear.
THE WALK OF SHAME?!!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
You got me with the husband/Vulvcan/taser scrotum thing, because apparently Jonathan is my husband’s secret brother, so I kept reading even though I havne’t and don’t intend to read them. I get fill of perfectly gorgeous yet tough AND sensitive unbelievable husband from the Eve Dallas series by Nora Roberts (writing as J.D. Robb), which I would never call good literature but I do LOVE to read.
It’s true. He’d totally suffer through that and a wax of his naughty bits to avoid it. :) I’ve read the Eve Dallas books, too!
THANK YOU!!!!! I am so glad I’m not alone on this. KC and I hated the books and movie and ALL our female friends LOVE it. I thought perhaps our distaste was a lesbian thing…it’s just complete rubbish for all the reasons you mentioned and then some. Blah!
I really don’t think it’s a lesbian thing, babe. LOTS of people just don’t dig these books even if (like me) the like gooey, romantic escapism reads.
xo
A-freak-ing-men.
I just don’t get all the vampire love. Honestly Ed Cullen is scrawny and dirty looking (and not in the good dirty way, like Puck from Glee).
GUH. Twilight… and here I thought I was the only female on the face of the planet that would rather chew on a broken bottle than watch/read twilight. I read the first one and had to MAKE myself finish it! Yeah, couldn’t find anything redeeming about it!
I am a local reader and just want to let you know I am sending positive thoughts your way!
Heh, I like Twilight, BUT I also agree with the majority of this post. For me, Twilight was fun. I don’t base it on my real life, because it was a book.
I also started reading Twilight WAY before it got as popular as it did, and after two years of having read the first (and second) book I didn’t even know anybody else knew it EXISTED, so don’t make fun of me hehe
:)
LOVE YOU LORALEE!
Can’t say I really liked Twilight. I didn’t read it actually. But I didn’t really want to.
I like your post about it though, I’m sure I would think along the same lines:)
For your Twilight viewing entertainment:
Today, I watched Twilight instead of General Conference.
Does this mean I love Edward more than Jesus?
I have not read the books, have not seen the movie, and really don’t even plan to. Thanks for the heads up–it all sounds way too silly to me.
Well, I loved the Twilight books, but I have been watching the new show The Vampire Diaries and wondering the same thing – why would you choose to spend your time in high School if you were a vampire?
Excellent post! I agree 100%. I tried to read the book but found it quite boring. (I’m not a fan of YA lit though.)I did watch the movie and still didn’t get what all the fuss is about. Now The Vampire Diaries (TV series) – there’s a good vampire story. Better looking actors too.
I know you already have over 200 comments but I wanted to add one more to the list of women who don’t swoon over Twighlight. I rented the movie, and kept fastforwarding. Same with the book. It was one of the easiest reads EVER. I think it took me 4 days to finish the entire series. Oh and I wanted to say “hey look we have the same last name!” Okay I think that’s enough from the creepy lady…