Have you ever felt overwhelmed? Powerless? Desperate? Insecure? Insignificant?
I have.
OFTEN.
My life is pretty unglamorous. I am a stay at home mother that often hangs around in her spit-up covered pajamas and blogs about things that are rather pointless and silly from the comfort of her home.
A lot of my life has been difficult. I have lived through some pretty horrifying things. To quote Steel Magnolias,” When it comes to suffering she is right up there with Elizabeth Taylor”. This past year in particular has been extremely hard on me and my family physically, emotionally, financially and just about any other “lly” you want to throw in.
Many of you know about my insurance woes and health problems and that the State of Utah declared my pregnancy a pre-existing condition. That we lost a 3-month-old to SIDS and that this was our first baby after 6 long years of grief and loss. That I was so sick that I pretty much became a hermit that spent all day in the fetal position in bed, throwing up endlessly into a bowl. Those and many other things have made me feel shell shocked. Scared. Tired. Powerless. Worthless.
Enter BlogHer and The White House.
I wasn’t sure how BlogHer was going to go for me this year. Even though I was determined, I wondered the whole plane ride why I was even going. I knew it would be really difficult for me.
I was right.
I made some embarrassing faux pas. I felt overwhelmed and hormonal from the delivery of my 6-week-old. I had crippling back pain, I kept throwing up for some unknown reason, I missed my baby like mad. I felt like my blog has sucked for such a long time I didn’t even feel like I deserved to be there. I felt insecure about everything from my writing to having a year filled with internet suckitude of mass proportion.
I can be rather misunderstood on the internet sometimes. I am chaotic and disorganized. I have difficulty keeping up with people and things and it has cost me. I get a surprising amount of hate mail. I was on a whole flipping hate blog for hell’s sake. I have been classified as a braggart, a snob, and the biggest cry baby on the internet. Anyone who really knows me knows these things are so far from what I am. Although, I will admit that after the “Ye Olde Snot Fest” called BlogHer and all my blog entries from this last year, I have actually earned the cry baby title.
Example?
A low point found me locked in a bathroom stall of the hotel sobbing (again) and throwing up (again). I heard the door open and a large group of woman entered.
My heart sank.
I wanted to be alone in my vomitous misery.
There was the usual banter about writing, work and politics and the rustle of purses opening to obtain lipsticks and brushes. Then one of the women started talking.
About me.
There was respect in her voice. For me. For what I do. The others joined in about how much they loved my blog and my writing. How it inspired one of them to start blogging and how they also thought I was one of the best people to hang around at the entire conference.
One woman said she would sacrifice one of her favorite cats and give up her career if she could figure out how to write like me and start a blog of her own.
It was overwhelming to me. Not because of the attention or because someone with multiple cats would give up their career to write like someone who uses the phrase “boobies are magical” on the internet far too often, but that what I do was respected by what seemed to be intelligent, successful women.
ME.
I cried some more.
And I left that bathroom feeling much better than when I went into it.
It was a turning point for me.
This huge gathering of my writing and blogging peers changed so many things for me.
My first night there, The Queen of Spain, a blogger that I totally admire, asked me if I had checked my email. My thought was, “Dude! I didn’t even know she knew who the hell I was, let alone that there was an email waiting for me in my inbox!”
It was from Elisa Camahort-Page, one of the co-founders of BlogHer and someone I completely love to bits and admire. The email invited me to a very small luncheon with Valerie Jarrett, Senior Advisor to THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. They wanted to hear my opinion about health care reform.
I was floored.
Staggered.
They wanted to talk to ME?
Did they know I wasn’t a political blogger? That I am just a stay at home mom with eleventyhundred credits and no college degree that can carry a decent tune and often blogs in her underwear? That I am a loud, silly dork that wants to start a movement to bring the classic middle-school insult “RENOB” back into the common vernacular? THAT I WRITE ABOUT MY TA-TAS ON THE INTERNET??
Seriously?
But it was true. They wanted me. Loralee Choate. A nobody moderate Republican from Cache Valley, Utah.
I was terrified of looking like an idiot in front of everyone and I spent all day repeating over and over to myself, “Do NOT swear! Do NOT be too loud! DO NOT SAY TA-TAS!”
I called my less-than-enthusiastic-about-my blog husband and told him what was happening.
He told me to make sure I told The White House that my husband would gladly pay every cent than have socialized health care.
I told HIM that if he wanted The White House to know that he could start his own freaking blog.
Grin.
When the time came for the luncheon, I didn’t really think that I would even say anything, but then a blogger from Mom-o-crats brought up that she felt that the GOP was spreading misinformation. That they didn’t really get what the Democrats were trying to do with health care refrom.
I timidly raised my hand and asked to respond to her as a registered Republican from Utah.
I stated that there is HUGE concern that this is a ploy and step on the path to socialized health care and government. There is no dirtier word than ‘socialism’ in my state and with my family. I don’t see this plan as socialism. I also admit that I don’t start frothing at the mouth in anger and fear like many around me do when they hear that word. I don’t think a lot of them actually know what they mean when they start spouting off about socialism, but that is pure conjecture on my part.
I come from an uber conservative place, my family is very conservative and my husband is so right wing he is probably two steps away from moving to Idaho and starting his own militia.
(For the record, he is unhappy I keep saying that. He thinks I am saying that he is a racist skinhead. I’m not, I just think it’s hilarious. Yet another thing we see differently.)
Living with him and his politics can be…interesting. I wake up most mornings of my life hearing conservative talk radio or Fox News.
(Also for the record? That can lead for some weird-ass dreams, people.)
I actually consider myself more of an independent. If I didn’t want to vote the way that I do in Utah I would probably register as one. While I don’t consider myself a real conservative I do have many conservative stands and points of views.
I love charter schools, I am pro-life, I am for tort reform, I am a HUGE supporter of our military. While I think the war has turned into a huge mess I am unwilling to have a rapid pullout (as much as I despise that my loved ones have to be deployed and put in harms way). I am dismayed and alarmed at the thought of our service men and women’s bonuses, hazard pay and basic funding for them in general being decreased. I have loved ones who depend on that funding. For their families. For their very lives. Our soldiers are already so stretched thin, as are their families and loved ones. Please don’t let them down.
There are things I am liberal about. The thing I am very, very liberal on is gay marriage. I want gay marriage. Not unions, not “separate but equal”, MARRIAGE. And I express that opinion with pride. I want it as much as I want health care only I have no conflicting issues with it. I do with health care.
I deeply hope that the administration does something about both of these. Pretty please?
* Yes, the above is shameless platform plugging but if you knew that your words were going to be read by the administration (because they asked you to email it) you would TOTALLY put in a few other political issues you want tackled and you know it. ;P
I want health care reform.
I wanted it before the hell that happened to me.
I started talking to Ms. Jarrett about everything my family has been through the last year-from my insurance situation to how hurtful I found it that many in my family saw me go through so much and STILL does not want change.
It felt so GOOD to talk in front of people who mainly agreed with me. I am sickened by the behavior of some people in this debate. The horrible mud slinging and sickening signs and behavior some choose to exhibit. Thankfully, I have not experienced any of that, but I have been strongly disagreed with. Where I live when I talk about health care reform I usually feel like a small fortress surrounded by warring hostiles. You know, kind of like General Custer. Only with shorter, less attractive hair. It gets tiring to be hugely in the minority and to speak out at such personal cost.
I was grateful to have the platform to vent.
As I told my story, and as I suspected I might, I started sobbing my guts out. All the frustration, the pain, the stress, the hell just poured out of me.
The whole room was crying with me.
I expressed my anger about how broken the health system is. How ticked and sad I was that Senator Orrin Hatch pulled out of the bipartisan discussions the day before. I also may have also referred to him as “ugly-tie guy that writes cheesy music”, because I was mad and hormonal. (I regret saying it and sincerely apologize. An example of how things in this topic can get heated and you can cross the line, apologize and continue to fight to continue on with civil dialogue. Just because you fall off the wagon doesn’t mean you can’t get back on, people. )
I also may have cursed AND said “ta-tas” in that luncheon but I TOTALLY BLAME MOCHA MOMMA FOR THAT.
Heh.
As I cried I apologized all over the place for my tears because I was embarrassed.
It is deeply embarrassing to me that I am in the situation I am. That at 34 years of age I don’t own my own home yet and wonder if I ever will. That there is no “American Dream” for me. MY American Dream is to be able to GET AND AFFORD insurance and health care. To take my kids to the doctor when they are sick without getting an ulcer about where the money will come from.
It sucks a duck.
I do not want a free pass from the government. I don’t expect them to foot all medical care for everyone. I don’t want a single payer system. I don’t mind paying my reasonable share.
I do want options.
I do want change.
I want it bad.
I am not saying that the bill is perfect, it is not. I can actually see many issues with it. (My conservative side rearing its head.) Even with my concerns I.WANT.CHANGE. It is beyond ridiculous to me that such a weathly, awesome possum nation cannot figure out a way to make sure that people get and have access to affordable health care. That you don’t lose everything you own or bankrupt your family because you became ill. That you don’t have your high-risk pregnancy declared a pre-existing condition when you were doing everything you could to make sure you were covered. It isn’t right.
I am also the very first to say that honestly I have NO IDEA how to make it happen.
Guess what, though?
It isn’t my job to figure it out.
Surely with all the resources available to us, SOMEONE can figure out how to make it happen and work.
I know that many disagree with me and I suspect (and actually hope) to see it in my comments. (Which is fine as long as it is respectful and hopefully they focus on ideas and solutions.) I am used to being disagreed with about this. I live in one of the most conservative places in the nation. I married into an extremely conservative family. A family that I love. I know, love, and respect so many people who want such very, very different things regarding this. ALL of them have good hearts and intentions.
While I confess to being on the liberal side I also understand where the right is coming from.
I just disagree with them.
After years of bickering and disagreeing with my husband, I have come to the conclusion that it comes down to the fact that we have radically different ideologies. My husband believes that it is immoral to put a gun to the head of a man and force him to pay out of his earnings for the greater good of all, where I find it much more immoral to NOT provide for those that truly cannot in the case of health care and to make it accessible and economically possible for people. He doesn’t believe that health care should be a right and I do.
He despises decisions made by “emotion”. I say why is it a bad thing to be fueled by emotion and compassion? The kicker for me is that I would like it to be emotionally fueled AND fiscally possible. This means that I end up being unhappy a lot.
As I relayed my thoughts to the room I said that if they truly do not want socialized medicine and a single payer system, and that they don’t want an over-all socialistic government then they needed to focus on trying to get that message out to conservatives.
The problem is, I don’t know how many of them would believe that.
Especially my husband.
Then Valarie Jarrett said something I love.
She said that thought many do not believe it, the President truly loves hearing ideas about solving this problem from people with differing points of view.
I chuckled and said that I would be sure to tell my husband that.
Then she said something unbelievable.
“After this meeting is over I would like you to go over to my assistant, Adam, and block out some time on Monday morning to have your husband speak with me on the phone. I would love to hear his ideas for change.”
I think that every jaw in the room was open. Mine pretty much fell all the way to China.
My uber-conservative husband was going to have a one-on-one conversation with The White House.
With one of the most politically influential people in the nation.
All because I write a little blog in my babybarf-covered pajamas.
When I told my husband that because of me he was about to have a conversation with The White House I was prouder than I can say. After we discussed what was going to happen (with emphasis that he behave himself) I added something that has been hurtful to me for years.
“You know, Jon. I know you have had problems with my blog in the past. That you consider what I do a waste of time and that it is a silly, pointless thing to do. You get this opportunity because of that blog. Because of me. I have worked hard at this. I have stuck with it for four long years. I am proud of what I do. I think it is time you were, too. I NEVER want to hear or even sense that what I do is silly. Pointless. A waste of time. Never, EVER again. It is so hurtful to me. And if you do? I will totally kick you in the testicles. And we can’t afford the health bills that would produce.”
We both laughed and as the days have gone by we have spoken about it more and worked many things out in our personal relationship, which has been wonderful and if nothing else came from this experience, I would rejoice the most for that.
And Jonathan’s phone call with Ms. Jarrett?
It totally happened. Just like she promised it would.
However, I will let him tell you THAT story himself.
Yup.
Mr. Looney Tunes will be writing a guest post on my blog. (That cracking sound you hear is hell freezing over. Just so you know.)
At the end of the day I highly doubt that anything I had to say will really change or mean anything for the greater picture.
But that lunch and conference changed everything for me.
I survived it and I stayed exactly who I am. No pretense. No false front. I showed the people in that room the real me-silliness, snotting, ta-tas and all.
And it was fine.
For the first time in a long, long time I feel worthwhile.
Capable.
Proud.
Powerful.
I am woman, hear me roar!
Now let’s go burn our bras n’ stuff.
ZOMG, Loralee! YOU ARE GOING TO THE WHITE HOUSE!!! (You can totally stay at my house, unless you are sleeping in Lincoln’s Bedroom, or something.)
And some of these stories just make me ill. A pediatric epi-pen for GOD’S SAKE?? Gah!
Thank you for sharing. I just found your Blog by happening to read an entry by Ms. Jarrett. Wow! What a long hard road you folks have traveled in trying to get good health care without it breaking the bank. When I was a young father, I asked an insurance rep. why it only covered $250.00 for pre-natal, delivery and post-natal care. His response: “Pregnancy is not an illness or an accident. Be thankful you get that!” That was in 1960 and we were in the first six-months of an annual salary of $3,200.00. That was then, and Now is Now and the best investment is to buy shares in a company that covers medical insurance (TIC). Yes, Reform is long-overdue and I’m a rock-solid Democrat and if this congress doesn’t hear and respond my representative will have a day of reckoning at the polls in 2010.
i know exactly how you felt being uninsured and pregnant- the first time i became pregnant, i did not have health insurance that had maternity coverage. i ended up having a miscarriage, which resulted in hospitalization and a five-figure hospital bill. but before that, i tried every insurance company i could think of and literally got laughed at when i told the sales rep that i was pregnant.
being desperate, i signed up for one of those ridiculous ‘maternity discount cards’, which is a terrible scam! they would not cancel it until they had received and processed proof that i had lost the baby. the card paid for nothing, but ended up adding another thousand dollars to my bills and a really bitter taste in my mouth.
it was by far, the most frustrating part of my life.
by the next time i got pregnant, bill richardson had set up a wonderful public health care system for new mexico, including a maternity-only plan for people like me who had (worthless) insurance. it was wonderful, i’ve had insurance from every major company and the state insurance was much, much better. i can’t say enough about how happy i am with richardson’s healthcare here.
i did have to do a lot of work to get it and the premiums are as high as i would be paying with a private company, maybe higher. i don’t mind paying it, knowing that i have solid, solid coverage. it wasn’t a handout, it’s just like any other insurance but nobody’s making money off of it. i was very opposed to nationalized healthcare until i went though this ordeal and now i strongly support it, if a national system could work as well as our state system here.
very cool post, loralee. you amaze me all the time.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. As a Canadian, the more I hear about the American system, the more grateful I am for the Canadian one.
Our system isn’t perfect. There are long waits in ERs, and many other problems to be found. But when you get down to the fundamentals, no one in Canada is being ridiculously financially burdened by health care.
I don’t know anyone that’s been burdened by 5 or 6 figure health care bills. The last time I got a prescription, it was free. I realize it’s not actually “free” per se, because I pay the taxes. But personally, I have no problem seeing my taxes go to keeping Canadians healthy, because I know when the time comes, the system will be there for me and my loved ones.
If that makes me a socialist, so be it. I think necessary health care is a right, not a privilege. I hope one day, Americans will get to experience that too.
I have a few ideas:
We could model our system more like the Dutch and the Germans: they have private insurance that you get through your employer, like we do, but the premiums aren’t as high as ours. That private insurance supplements a public health option that covers everyone.
All insurance companies are REQUIRED to cover ANY applicants. All hospitals are REQUIRED to take ANY insurance.
There are no such things are “pre-existing conditions” because an insurance company is required to take you.
The government helps control the cost of medications because they negotiate prices with the drug companies through the public option.
Frankly, one of the giant screw-ups of our last government was the prohibition on medicare negotiation drug prices. Are you kidding me? The largest purchaser of drugs in the country isn’t ALLOWED to negotiate prices? Do you know how much tax money would be saved?
What KILLS me, absolutely KILLS me, is that we pay more than ANY OTHER industrialized country in the world for our health care, we pay so stinking much, and we live in absolute fear of getting sick.
I don’t understand how people can freak out about government “controlling” more of health care because health care controls us already–you can’t change jobs without worrying about insurance, you can’t make any serious life adjustments without worrying about insurance, the free flow of labor is hamstrung by how insurance doesn’t work.
I work for a small business, the amount that we pay for employees to be covered is STAGGERING. Small businesses are about to revolt because covering people, because it’s the right and honest thing to do, has become almost prohibitive. (Rumor has it that our last insurance company dropped us because we “had to many babies.”)
We need insurance that covers across states, we need portable insurance. How about an insurance marketplace where we can choose openly without restrictions?
***And for the record, I lived under socialized medicine as a child–and it was absolutely fantastic. My mother had two babies under socialized medicine. They INSISTED that she stay in the hospital for two weeks to make sure she and the babies were well taken care of. She had a private room with down quilts overlooking a lake.
I know we’ll never have socialized medicine in the US (no matter how many people are freaking out that this health proposal is socialism, it’s not,) but what we currently live with is BARBARIC.
Wow! How exciting is this. I’m on bloggy holiday in the stix (Canadian stix), but I had to hold my blackberry up to the window and read, and now comment.Bravo! And congratulations! Oh, and it was FABULOUS to meet you at Blogher – even though I was wearing the same shirt both times. I’m a terrible packer…. Great, great post!
Since you asked on Twitter for comments (and the White House is reading this), I just want to give my two cents on this.
We have fairly decent health insurance (thank God!). With COBRA, it would cost us over $1500 a month if my husband ever lost his job. This is more than my freaking mortgage. That’s my first problem. My second problem is that due to condition my daughter has, she is now uninsurable. If we ever had to get insurance on our own, no one would cover us (I know cuz I’ve checked).
What kills me now is that my son had an abnormal febral seizure in April. My MIL was watching him and called an ambulance (which we have been told to do again if it happens again). I just got the EOB from my insurance. Guess what? They are not covering one red cent for it. Since they dont’ contract with any ambulance services in IL (and they based out of IL so figure that out), they are applying a portion of it to my $1000 deductible. But whatever they decide they aren’t going to cover, they don’t have to and I still owe it. Nice, how that works, huh? Say hello to a $864 bill on top of the early intervention speech therapist I have to pay out of pocket for since my insurance doesn’t pay for that either.
p.p.s. I’m a liberal Mormon
p.p.p.s. Who loves my friends and family in uniform
p.p.p.p.s. And I love to have honest conversations about issues like these because we’re all closer than we think.
p.p.p.p.p.s. You’re awesome. I hope you get to do it in the Lincoln bedroom.
@Azucar I love your comment so much I want to make out with it and have little health care reform babies with it.
Some really good things to think about.
And? Liberal Mormon. I love you. In a totally platonic way of course. :P
@Candice: Well…The Standard Examiner has already contacted me for an interview, which is cool. I haven’t responded yet because I am having too much fun reading the tweets comments and emails.
@Cheaty. I LOVED that purple shirt. Seriously, if you remember where you bought it? Email me.
(Sorry, I know it’s off topic but dood…you all should have seen that shirt. I loved it.)
I just read your post about your child that died.
WOW.
WOW.
WOW.
I think people who say “I am crying reading this” are usually full of shit but THAT POST? SO raw, so painful SO REAL.I AM CRYING. HONEST.
I am so so SO sorry for your loss of that baby.
And for the Standard Examiner. Well that is a start. Kudos to Odgen of all places for being the first horse out of the gate. Good for them!
I hope others follow suit because really, this is a story that needs to be heard.
I just hope you do not get a lot of hate about it. I sometimes fear for people with liberal leanings in this state.
I am in love with you — husband aside. I hope my best friend reads this because I am tired of the “blah, blah it’s socialism blah, blah, blah. I’m trying to say it’s not about politics. It’s about being the compassionate loving human being Jesus want us to be.
Thank you. It’s been my pleasure to read this and good luck.
IF ANYONE HAS NOT PLEASE READ THE POST LORALEE WROTE ABOUT HER BABY DYING CALLED “TRAUMA”.
She linked to it in the post above.
YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME PEOPLE. In a good way though.
SOBBING.
congrats for getting linked to from whitehouse.gov. uber exciting, eh?
i’m laughing at haley and her mentioning that she was wearing the same shirt both times she met you. that is exactly the sort of shit i would remember and worry about for years.
i’m torn by the healthcare issue. i think government intervention is a bad thing. i think nationwide healthcare is a huge mistake. i would MUCH rather support STATEwide health care. funded by the state. what is good for utah is probably not good for new jersey. and vice versa. we don’t have nearly the same amount of crack whores as new jersey does. (no offense to new jersey!!)
i don’t want people to suffer or to go without proper care. i don’t want people to have to choose between death or bankruptcy. but on a national level, a one size fits all health care plan is a mistake.
at least that’s how i feel today. :)
I love you Jess.
Here is the thing I worry about it being left to the state. I worry that many would still be screwed because Utah is an uber conservative state and pardon for saying but, um, they aren’t really into the whole “public health option”, you know? So that is a big worry for me but I DO see what you are saying and don’t really object…yet. And honestly, I wouldn’t be adverse to a state run program with a federal mandate that they MUST provide one. (That doesn’t suck total ass)
Dude, you need to get your heiny into the KVNU chatroom when I’m on. Or better, come on with Jon and I sometime. HEHEHEHE.
I am an independent, because I truly almost always see and understand both sides of the argument, whatever the argument may be. And I worked for a major insurance carrier for 4 years, but have been out of the industry for 8. Now I work for the government. I am also a taxpayer, a military wife, a mother, and a US Citizen.
Insurance in this country is currently a business. If you own a business, your goal is to make money. Most of us want to also do the right thing. But if doing the right thing means you go out of business, that you can’t keep making money, you may do the almost right thing instead. Government has grown bigger, and there are definitely government jobs that could be eliminated, but we create the need for these jobs. We have allowed politics to corrupt the government to the point that there is too much mistrust. This causes too much red, black, yellow and green tape that has to be completed in order to keep people honest. This adds time and money to everything.
We need healthcare reform. We also need government reform. I don’t know what “THE” answer is, but I know that it probably really isn’t going to happen with just the politicians working on it.
On another note, I love that you said awesome opossum. I tell my son to have an awesome opossum day every day :)
And you are awesome. I’m glad you were able to have this experience.
You’re a rockstar. I’m SO happy for you. No one deserves the recognition more than you.
xoxo
Congrats. I found this from the whitehouse blog. I’m not a regular reader but I will come back to see what your hubby writes. I’m a small business owner and I support Obama and the need for health care reform.
I wish we could stop talking about IF and start talking about specifically WHAT we will change.
I can’t believe this made Whitehouse.gov! (As in it’s amazing that a normal blogger is highlighted there, not that you’re not deserving or whatever.) Congratulations!! That is SO AWESOME!!
Linked from the White House – holy crap, my friend – you are AWESOME!!! Seriously, I read this earlier and didn’t get to comment, but now I do and I find a link?! WOW.
You so deserve this recognition, and I am so proud that you’ve been given it. Finally, a wee bit of a silver lining!
Honest – this brought tears to my eyes. You rock.
I have been reading since you announced your pregnancy and if what I’ve been reading is what you think is crap, then I really wonder how incredibly awesome the good is (and I’m going back and reading the archives you tell me not to!)
You are my hero. As someone with some chronic health issues, no job and no insurance, I thank you. As the mother of an autistic child who doesn’t have health insurance because I have no job, I especially thank you. For speaking up. For being real, for not thinking a blog should only be about puppies and rainbows.
I’m on the other side of the political spectrum, a moderate democrat. We agree on more than you realize. Something NEEDS to change.
No one should be in the position I was two years ago, deciding whether to pay my mortgage or shell out the 1300 a month for my son’s medications. The medications won, so I am no longer a homeowner.
Your ‘little blog’ as you call it, has started a dialogue with the White House. It is most definitely significant.
You ROCK, Loralee!
I had to add to the comment about military from other comments. there is definite mistrust of the current administration because of Clinton’s legacy. He brought our military low, and we were woefully unprepared when we were called to war. Our soldiers went to war with subpar equipment, inadequate training, and nowhere near enough troops. I’m not debating the need to go to war, but If we are sending our fellow country men and women into harms way, we darn well better be taking good care of them.
My husband is what is called AGR. He is a full time soldier, but he works for the National Guard, not the Army. He gets screwed out of so many benefits. Full time Army and traditional guard soldiers have so many benefits, bonuses, etc, that he is denied. The reason? His job is his bonus…be thankful and shut up. And when he was considering going full time a few years ago, he was informed that he would have to lose TWO RANKS to join. He has 20 years in the National Guard, and he would have been bumped to an E5.That is ridiculous.
I add this, because I have had my own squee moments this year. I was able to go to the White House for the Easter Egg Roll and meet Vice President Biden. We have been told how much they want to hear from us, to take care of the military families. I hope this is true.
I’m thrilled you had such an amazing opportunity to voice your thoughts on a subject that’s so important to all of us.
WITH THAT SAID, it kills me to that you don’t feel worthwhile every second of every day because YOU ARE, dummy. I think your human pug would agree.
LL, why did you mention stealing soap from the White House? Now you’re SO not going to be able to get away with it.
I found your post from a link on the White House blog. Good for you for telling it like it is. You rock!
Loralee~ I wasn’t worried about you. I know we can disagree and still love each other. Plus, we both agree that *something* needs to be done, that reform is needed. We just don’t agree what that “something” is.
Actually, that is one of the MOST frustrating things I encounter in the national healthcare discussion…it is disingenuous when I hear people say that those who oppose a public option are somehow in favor of “keeping the status quo” or just “doing nothing”. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t think that some serious changes need to be made in the healthcare insurance industry. Health insurance reform, as opposed to health CARE reform.
To those who say that insurance is inherently evil because it is in the business to make money, and thus isn’t in the interest of taking care of it’s enrollees, I ask you this: how is it, then, that the car insurance model is working? Just like the Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac situation, it’s far more complicated than one side/entity being good and the other bad. Saying so makes for appealing talking points, but it doesn’t really address actual issues and is ultimately counterproductive to a true exchange of ideas.
To mollify those who think my opinions are influenced by health insurance industry spin, I’ll fill you in on my background. I graduated from medical school the month before my son was born; instead of returning to a residency I chose to be a SAHM to him (I still have the student loans, so…ugh. But life can take unexpected turns). Believe me, I’m no blind apologist for the insurance companies. I don’t know one single physician who is.
I hope you make it to the White House. I will personally sell some CD’s or hold a garage sale to get you there. And if the White House would love to see good friends sit side-by-side, holding hands while disagreeing…count me in. (I’ll totally mention Ta-Ta’s first so you won’t worry about it).
PS: I know you have a husband to hold hands and disagree with, but you know me…once I get riled up I’m all, “I want to be HEARD!”
PPS: But I think I still remain respectful, right? Even on the phone? When I’ve been horribly dissed AND dismissed?
PPPS: I am watching an HGTV show and a woman on the show reminds me of you. Except she has a Valley Girl accent.
PPPPS: I’m really reaching trying to keep copying you on this PS thing.
PPPPPS: Luff you, too.
That’s my girl. Great job Loralee!
I love your blog and just read it, because of the whitehouse.gov. I did not even know your trials and tribulations and love that you share your feelings and thoughts so well.
Hooray that you stood up and affirmed your value and worth. I stand up with you!! Take care and I hope you read mine…
I need to break in here and tell you all how PROUD I AM OF YOU.
This debate about health care has gotten so, SO ugly around our country. It has made me sad, sick and my heart heavy to see the horrible things people are saying to one another.
I have dozens and dozens of emails in my inbox and guess what…NO ONE has been disrespectful. I have not had to delete ONE comment. That is amazing for a post with this many comments with such a hot and emotionally charged topic.
Many have disagreed but truely…this comments section is something to be proud of. It gives me faith that something can be worked out. That people can come together and work out problems and discuss issues in a civil manner.
I just had to tell you that I am thankful for your behavior and comments.
You are wonderful.
If you burn your bra, I’ll proudly hold up yer Ta-Tas!
So damn proud of you!
BRAVO…BRAVO…BRAVO!!!
Hey Loralee, I felt inspired to write a post about you, so I did. If you’d like to read it, feel free to do so here.
http://agofish.blogspot.com/2009/08/loralee-health-care-reform.html
If not, know that you are admired anyway! :)
Yeah, lets get you to the White House.
and
ZOMG!
Loralee-
I was among those in that panel sobbing my eyes out. And I’m not a pretty crier. You, as a blogger, influence more people than you’ll ever know. You, as an individual are influence politics.
Both are serious kickassery. And both are among the reasons that I admire you greatly. Please go to the white house. Do it for all of us that sat in that room, hoping together for something to change for the better. So that none of us will have to ever think about the cost, both monetary and emotional/mental/physical of health care again.
You are a part of the change Loralee. Thank you.
The first night at BlogHer couldn’t have been any better. You were IN MY ROOM and I adore you and the fact that your story gets to be heard. Loralee, you’re making a change just be standing up and being you. PLEASE never change that. Ok?
Thank you. XOXOXOXO
You are AMAZING. I already knew that, but I’m glad you’re starting to sense it too.
I am so proud of you I could just squee all over the internet!!!!!
after having to fight for the last 2 weeks to get medication that keeps me and the bun I’m baking alive, I am BEYOND ready for change.
We (my family) should not be “poor” by any means but we ARE because of the astronomical amount of money we pay out every month just to HAVE health insurance and then there’s the deductible on top of that and oh while you were knocked out this other guy had to do stuff for you but he’s not in network so he’s not covered under your plan and you now owe him 3k.. yeah you weren’t lucid to approve that but oh the fuck well.
At one point in our lives, we did not know where our next meal would come from (literally we had NO money for food) because we spent every cent paying for COBRA. I was pregnant, high risk and could not afford to be without coverage. It was by grace and blessed friends that we made it through that period of time.
Everyone is so afraid of change and I know change is hard, it can be bumpy and sometimes it can down right suck but it is NEEDED urgently.
As the bill stands now, it’s not perfect. Actually I would love to see the gov first push through reforms capping the prices of medications and capping the amt insurance companies can charge- stabilize those who are currently covered while working on composing a good solid solution that will bring coverage to everyone. No one, in this great country of ours, should every have to choose between eating and seeing their doctor.
Oh and don’t forget I live in the DC area, so when you go visit the White House you can stay with me.
I’ve been watching the whole story from far away. I have totally admired your genuine humility in all that has happened. Now reading what you told your husband, I completely love you.
I am a Fiscal Conservative and Social Liberal. There is no party for me right now. Although I fear that there is no sound fiscal way to get healthcare that also takes care of society as a whole, I wish there was. I wish I could blink my eyes and make it happen.
I, too, would love to have the ability to pay for our medical needs without fear. I have dental problems that cost upwards of $12k to take care of. I don’t know how that will be taken care of. I worry that one, day a dentist will just call it a complete loss and pull all my teeth out, handing me some nasty dentures on the way out the door. It makes me sad because I’ve always loved to smile. I know that sounds ridiculous compared to all the other medical crisis that abound. But every day, my mouth hurts. Every time I smile, I have to catch myself and close it up so I don’t embarrass myself with people seeing my gaping holes. I catch people checking out the chip in my front tooth. It’s embarrassing.
I want some solutions from the simplest dental procedures to the life saving organ transplants. I just don’t know if that’s possible anymore.
Loralee, just think of how many individuals in this country are suffering right now due to lack of access to healthcare unless on emergency basis, then you can really appreciate why so many admire and thank you for speaking out. Sometimes people who have access to the internet have too much pride to share their struggles and challenges. You not only shared but by just being your uninhibited self hit that raw nerve that makes your readers feel the pain of you and others who have similar circumstances.
I am your newest fan and supporter. I am a moderate democrat but first, I am an American who loves her country and want to be part of the solution. So, this democrat is ready to work with any and everyone toward achieving real healthcare reform. I wish you good health and success.
Earlier, I went to a meeting with my congressman, Jared Polis, of Colorado, to ask him questions about the health care reform bill. People were saying things about ‘government take-over’ this and ‘socialism’ that and ‘doctors deciding the fate of the lives of the elderly’ the other – thankfully mostly in civil tones. And, okay, there weren’t that many of them. This is Boulder, after all.
That led me to look up what the bill actually says (see http://edlabor.house.gov/documents/111/pdf/publications/AAHCA-BILLSUMMARY-071409.pdf for a summary of the bill). Hmmm… interesting. It actually seems pretty rational to me.
That led me to http://www.whitehouse.gov/ the White House website, where there are fabulous videos by the administration officials who are debunking all those bananas Fox News-fuelled claims.
That led me to read Valerie Jarrett’s Talking Health Reform with Loralee.
And that led me to this blog.
And to the many varied and funny and intelligent and insightful comments on it.
And that made me feel REALLY GOOD – that we live in a country where a ‘simple citizen’s’ ideas, posted on her blog can become a central part of a debate and fuel valid responses.
Thanks, Loralee. And I, too, hope you get to do it in the Lincoln Room ;)
PS – I’m from Italy, where people can choose the public or private option and where, even when you go private, procedures and medication are nowere near as expensive as they are in the US. And until there’s a public option here, too, I will thank God that I have a European passport in case I ever lose my job. It makes me angry that I have an out and that the vast majority of people living in this country don’t.
I just heard Hannity say tonite “now that the American people have come together against a public option for health care reform . . . .” So, where does he get that idea? Because progressives are too quiet? The reason that healthcare is a right, not a privilege is that every single one of us would help another human being in need of care So, it is not a right, it is a DUTY
There isn’t enough space on the interwebs to go into all the medical problems that I can not take care of because I got screwed out of my COBRA because of a clerical error by my former employer.
I am beyond thrilled that you are a voice speaking for all of us.
I kick myself everyday mad that I couldn’t make it down to the OC to meet you last week.
Thank you for being you.
Loralee,
You know that I look to you since you are a few years ahead of me on the same life path. We have everything from our twin siblings to our love of singing in common, and unfortunately, we have our terrible pregnancies, pre-existing conditions, and passed away children in common as well.
The only reason that I am not EXACTLY where you are right now is thanks to Obama. He made it so that my husband and I can afford COBRA health care coverage. If it wasn’t for him, we would be broke, and my unborn baby and I could both be dead. Why? Because I wouldn’t be able to afford the $4,500 (monthly!) in shots I need to prevent life-threatening blood clots. Because of the clotting disorder you and I both have, no insurance company will cover me. COBRA is my only option right now.
You know it makes me sick to my stomach that you had to go through everything you did during your pregnancy with Aaron. And really, your experience is making it so I won’t have to. So others won’t have to. I hate that YOU had to, but to know that it might not be in vain? And that you’re taking your terrible misfortune and helping others with it? Well, I couldn’t be prouder of you.
You’re not curling into a ball feeling sorry for yourself. You’re trying to bring change. And I am so, so honored that you are my friend.
You make me freak with yay!
We are all one operation away from bankruptcy.
Wow. To think that until a few hours ago, I didn’t even know you. And now I am so proud of you and the life you have lead. What a great post, a great story, and I’m so happy to have found your blog!
Congratulations!! Go forth to DC and represent!
Oh my. Oh my. “MY American Dream is to be able to GET AND AFFORD insurance. To take my kids to the doctor when they are sick without getting an ulcer about where the money will come from.” You brought tears to my eyes. Over here in the UK we so take that for granted I wonder if we truly appreciate it – although the press coverage of the misreporting in the US regarding our NHS means I think we appreciate it a helluva lot more than we did a week ago!
I probably only go to the Doc once every 5 years (I’m a bloke so it needs to be bad first, what can I say). But to be able to pick up the phone and see a Doc when I need to, or to get whizzed to Accident and Emergency (translation: ER :) when I come off my motorbike and only have to worry about the medical rather than financial consequences sure seems like a basic human right to me. I know there’s plenty of places in the World where that right is not met, but in the US?
I think what staggers me most of all is that there are people who don’t get this. How can anyone not get this? Normally I’m the one who can see the other point of view – I’m the one who presents and defends the other point of view when people around me don’t get it. But on universal healthcare? How can anyone not get that?
By the way – I’ve never before posted a comment on a blog. I’ve read tons, but never before felt moved to post. Look what you’ve done.
Jess, Utah may not have so many “crack whores” but I believe it has the highest rates of abuse of antidepressants and the highest teen suicide rate in the country, as well as a very high rate of teen pregnancy and I think the highest birth rate in the country – all of which require a whole lot of medical care. Every state has its issues. Not just the ones with the big hair!
I think you are amazing. After what you have been through, to be able to get out of bed and speak out and stand up for what you believe in (especially when you have family & friends who might not agree) is incredible. I was more moved by this post and the responses than I have been by anything (regarding politics) in a long time. People like you are why change WILL happen with health care. Thank you.
I’ve written about health care reform numerous times (well before Obama took it on) and I’ve always been met with mixed but mostly supportive reactions.
All I know for sure is that your health and health care shouldn’t be tied to your employment, especially in a down economy where people are getting fired all over the place.
We have insurance. We pay more than our mortgage for it and frankly, it isn’t THAT good. The 80% profit margin associated with health care insurance makes sure that plenty of our costs AREN’T covered despite our having the best plan offered.
Honestly, health care reform can’t come soon enough and not just for me but for folks like you and like my best friend’s totally uninsured family.
I’m so proud of you. Hang in there :)
Go you! I’m so proud of you for standing up and telling your story!
heh. you said ‘clusterfuck’ in an email to the white house.
great post, dear.
I just have to say that while I’m not unsympathetic, there are some things that are matters of opinion and some that are not.
The term “basic human right” has a specific meaning, and part of that meaning is that it is conferred on all at birth by God. An essential property of any right is that it can’t be given, only taken away.
Thus, again by definition, nothing that has to be provided by someone else can be a right. This also means that nothing that is man-made can be a right. Thus you can have the right to the “pursuit of happiness”, but not the right to the specific things that will give you that happiness. You have the right to free speech, but not the right to a radio show.
The thing about health care is that it is a man-made thing, which has to be provided by someone. The people who provide health care tend to be hard-working and dedicated, because it takes a LOT of work to gain the expertise and then the necessary government certifications proving that expertise that you need before you’re allowed to provide health care. Most of these people make enormous investments in time and money, over the course of years, before they are able to make their first dollar providing health care.
Now here’s where the problem with calling it a “right” comes in — and a good test in general by the way for deciding if something is even eligible to be considered a right. One essential truth about anything that is a right is that, since you were born with it, and it was given to you by God, you can’t be asked or made to pay for it. Indeed there is no one for you to pay, because it is already yours. It’s why we don’t allow people to point a gun at you and say “your money or your life”.
I felt compelled to comment because it is when people start using rhetoric without a full understanding of or regard for the consequences that debate descends into pointless arguing. Calling health care a right makes you look, to those passionate about their opposing view, like you’re either malicious or, if you’re lucky, just ignorant. It ends the debate because what’s the point of debating someone who either believes that all doctors, nurses, and other health care providers should be under government servitude, or doesn’t realize that when they call health care a right that’s what they are saying?
Similarly, support for a public plan is understandable coming from most people — but Barack Obama is a Constitutional scholar and therefore MUST know that such a plan would be unconstitutional. His curious insistence both that it is vital and that it will have literally no participants doesn’t help matters. One possible definition of debate is that it an attempt to educate your opponent on the rightness of your views, or the wrongness of theirs. Barack Obama already knows that his views are wrong.
The likes of Sarah Palin aren’t helping matters either, by the way, but at least her “death panels” comment is traceable to something real. No, the HR bill doesn’t set up death panels. But it does require that more people be covered than currently are, increasing demand on resources; it does nothing to increase the available resources, if anything it reduces them by cutting payments to providers which will surely drive at least some of them out of practice and discourage others from undertaking the aforementioned cost and risk to enter the professions involved; and requires the government to balance the cost, while allowing complete latitude on how to do that. That there will have to be rationing of one kind or another is indisputable. The real question is how resources are allocated. Currently care is rationed based on ability to pay, which is perhaps one of the coldest, but also the most fair way to do it. When you put those decisions in the hands of the government, with absolutely no legislative restrictions on how they are made, you basically make the potentially life-and-death decisions of who gets what care a matter of political preference of the party in power, much like things like tax and environmental policy are right now — only worse, because tax policy changes require legislation, and environmental policy is at least partially constrained by the existing legislation. Under the current bill, health coverage policy would be at the complete discretion of appointees of the president.
Now, we can make some guesses about how Obama would make those decisions based on things he’s said. Death panels under Obama? Not likely (though why then insist on holding out the possibility in the bill?). But grandma will almost certainly have to figure out a way to make due without that hip replacement, enduring whatever pain the blue pills can’t alleviate — importantly, whether she can afford to pay for it or not. But what happens if the likes of Howard Dean ends up in the White House? How about David Duke?
This debate isn’t about who does and who doesn’t want to reform health care. It’s about who does and who doesn’t want to see vast amounts of new power bestowed upon a federal government that is ill suited, and constitutionally forbidden, from wielding it. There are numerous proposals, some Republican and most bipartisan, that realize, with a much higher probability of success than anything the Democrats are proposing, all of the goals the president claims he is seeking, and does it in a way that retains the vast majority of the existing system that works well. Everything else aside, I think that the fact that they are not being debated, amended, or even considered should tell you everything you need to know about the president’s side in the current health care debate.
A coworker asked me the other day if I ever thought about early retirement. I laughed and told him that given my breast cancer diagnosis at age 42 (3 years cancer free, yeah me), I would never have the luxury of retiring, period. I will be working until I drop in order to either get employer-sponsored health insurance, or to try and pay for my own if I happen to end up working for a company that doesn’t provide insurance.
I was fortunate that I had good insurance when I was diagnosed because if I hadn’t, I would’ve been wiped out financially. My surgery was $6,000. The six-week course of radiation I went through came to $22,000 and another $8,000 bill for the radiation oncologist. Thank goodness I didn’t need chemo because that’s outrageously costly, too.
I really hope the dialogue you’ve sparked starts some serious change. I’m so proud of you, this post, and your blog. You rock!
Oh, and this:
“…how hurtful I found it that my family saw me go through so much and STILL does not want change.”
Completely broke my heart. I’ve been there and understand more than you know. I hope you know that you’ve got at least one family member that doesn’t feel that way.
To Christine:
The car insurance model works because there are government mandates. The government tells you that you HAVE to have it and so you do. If I could get health insurance for $600-$800 per year I would jump for that chance! I think it is horrible that there are laws in place to protect auto companies and automobiles but not laws in place to protect our most basic human right – life.
“nd part of that meaning is that it is conferred on all at birth by God.”
Tony why does ‘God’ come into political debates…whose god? What about all the people that believe in human rights but not god or gods?
Hi- I followed a link over from Mom-101. I’m so glad you and your husband both got to talk to the white house people. I am for reform, but think it would be GREAT if people on all sides could come together and actually talk rationally about it and compromise. You know, instead of shouting at town halls and comparing our president to Hitler (for the record, I never compared Bush to Hitler- not once).
I think you have to argue with people about the things they care about. So if someone doesn’t want to talk about the emotional side or the health care as a right side, then lets talk about the economics. Our system spends more for worse outcomes. (NPR and BBC both have webpages showing this- sorry, I know these are “liberal media” sites to people like your husband, but really, the numbers are sound. The statistic that particularly sickens me is our infant mortality rate here in the US.)
This makes no economic sense.
We’re wasting money we could spend on growing our economy (some of it private sector money- do you know that the cost of benefits almost doubles the cost of a white collar employee for a company? That the costs of worker and retiree health care and pensions are one of the things that make it hard for our manufactured goods to be priced competitively?)
There are lots of different ways we could try to fix this. Surely, we can find a way that at least some conservatives could live with- but we won’t do that if they won’t even come to the table and talk about it.
I am torn but I know something needs to be done. We could no longer afford health insurance so had to cancel it, we don’t qualify for anything, we have 2 children with special needs, neither employer can afford to offer health insurance and we pretty much wing it. I feel like such a bad parent because I don’t take my kids in for regular checkups, especially dental. I’ve been lucky to have help from some programs that help cover therapies and such for my little guy but they are grossly under funded and we were threatened to be kicked out a few times. I am glad you are a voice to speak. And I totally hope you get to go to the White House and gaffle some of that lotion. :)
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: as a Canadian, I am shocked and appalled at the amounts my neighbours south of the 49th pay in medical insurance. For what I pay per year in premiums, lots of you get a month. Maybe. And that’s just the start of your costs.
To have my daughter, I paid a grand total of $180 to the hospital – and that’s because I wanted a private room and not a ward with other patients.
I don’t know what the answer is, but I know that it starts with compassion. Like Ms. Jarrett said in her comment, she and your husband agreed on many points – and that’s why this works. There is agreement on the ends – its the means of getting there that you need to talk about.
And to remember that the public option is just that – an OPTION. It doesn’t take away other options, and by being just another option it actually increases competition. In my opinion, anyways. And what about focusing on health rather than sick? By that I mean focusing on preventative care rather than acting after the worst has occurred? An ounce of prevention, a pound of cure, that sort of thing – which is an idea both Canada and the US could find benefits. Regular checkups, regular tests – find and fix the issues before they become problems.
Also (and this is my last point because this is way too long already), remember that people are living longer now so they’ll require more medical care. There’s a reason the retirement age is 65: when pensions were introduced by Bismarck in Germany, not many people lived far past the age of 65! As we live longer, more starts to break down in our bodies, especially with the lack of focus on preventative care. If people are able to go to the doctor with issues, they can be fixed before they become problems and are less costly in the long run.
Hi, I’m a first time visitor and I have tears streaming down my face. Nice work. Are all your posts like this one?
But if you want to know about me… I was *this close* to being uninsured for my pregnancy and ran into all that pre-existing condition BS until I found a loophole that was very specific, accidental, and lucky.
Go you! Go health care reform!
I’m a first timer and I’m crying too. I’M SO PROUD OF YOU. Really.
I’m a Liberal and we’re broke and have shitty insurance and have medical bills in collections. I’m sick every day over it. But know that we’re lucky to even HAVE insurance. And with what you’ve been through I’m beyond happy that you had this chance to make a difference. It couldn’t have happened to a better person.
Tony,
Thank you for your comment. I was hoping to hear from ALL sides of this debate. For the record I absolutely believe that you are not unsympathetic. Very few conservatives I have talked with are hard hearted bastards and their beliefs are not fueled by a desire to hurt people. It would be a discredit and wrong to label them as such. They just feel that their way is less hurtful in the end.
I also feel that it is equally insulting and wrong that the left are generalized as immoral Nazi-esque power mongerers that have no factual basis for their arguments other than pure emotion and that their desire is to turn everyone into government controlled robots.
I firmly believe that the intentions of most are good and that they are fighting for what they see is the best solution. Surely we can make some way of fusing those two together and making something work between them both?
I will never give up hoping that this can and will happen.
My husband could have written this comment. I am very aware and versed of every argument you have thrown out as I argue them endlessly with my spouse, though he would never imply that I am either malicious or ignorant for them.(I think he likes sleeping in his bed too much. Heh.)
He will be guest posting about his discussion with Ms. Jarrett and I will publish it this Monday. I hope you return to share your thoughts with him.
I wrote a lengthy response to you but then deleted it. I feel very solid and sure of my answers to your concerns but I believe that what needs to happen at this point is problem solving instead of endless debate.
Everyone who cares about this issue is, or should be, informed of the differing schools of thought regarding health care reform and the problems on both sides of the issues.
Everyone already knows what the left, right, and middle stances are. And while I know stating those issues are important what I want to ask you is this:
Do you feel that any kind of change needs to happen? If so, what are your ideas? Your thoughts on how the extreme left and right can meet a workable middle ground with something that you feel will work?
Or do you think it is unattainable and should stay status quo?
**APPLAUSE**
I agree with you but even if I didn’t, I love your writing and the manner in which you explain your argument.
And if we choose to have a second child, the case will be high risk pre-existing sort. I have switched insurance and it hadn’t occurred to me that the new insurance company could (and would, they’re evil) be evil enough to have issues paying for it.
Thank you for standing up. You might just be my hero.
I don’t know how I’ve missed your blog all of this time but reading this moved me in a way that I didn’t expect. You are a beautiful writer. Truly.
While I am as far liberal as your husband may be conservative, I love this conversation and your family’s willingness to really think about what would be better for the country.
Terrific response to Tony–and I agree 100%. We need to have discussions about how we can come together to fix the problem…not just talk at each other.
@A little lion’s mom.
I believe it is Fedral Law that group insurance cannot deem a pregnancy a pre-exisiting condition.
I was/am insured (at a sickening cost)with HIP Utah-the insurance for the uninsurable and apparently they can totally declare it pre-exisiting.
Which is horrifying to me.
I don’t think you have to worry. Of course, I thought I didn’t have to worry either as I was coming from group insurance in the alloted time. (Apparently I was supposed to exhaust Cobra before being allowed into HIP. No one told me. They accepted me, took my money but still wouldn’t cover me. Once it came to light I was also ineligable for Cobra. So, yay.)
I appreciate Tony’s explanation of what a right is. I knew that it always bothered me when people said ‘health care is a right’ but I could not articulate why. I agree with Tony.
However, that does not change the fact that something needs to be done about it. I like what another commenter said — that even if it is not a right, it is a duty.
I would prefer that people be allowed to take care of each other voluntarily. But of course that’s not happening, so another solution has to be found.
*I generally do not get involved in these debates because I have no solutions.* But I feel strongly because I do see some of the options out there (like requiring everyone to have insurance) as infringements on freedom. (Someone above mentioned auto insurance. If you don’t want to have auto insurance, you don’t drive a car — simple. There would be no similar ‘exception’ with health insurance.) And while it’s so much more concrete to look at a family in a terrible financial situation over health problems and it’s much more abstract to consider the idea of freedom, I think that freedom is by far the most important in the end.
I want a solution that infringes on no one’s freedom but takes care of everyone too.
Thank God – finally, an INTELLIGENT discussion!
Wild applause to you, from this little household in Ohio where we consider ourselves neither Democrats nor Republicans, liberals nor conservatives… just Americans.
P.S. While I’m not sure how I feel about health care being a basic “right” for everyone, I *DO* believe health care should be a right for children!
I just want to say (1) you are awesome and if you don’t know it already, you should and (2) I love you.
I agree with you on just about everything, and am more excited that I should be that I have found another blogger who thinks like I do. I too am a moderate conservative. (I actually blogged about this health care reform thing this morning…lol)
I am anxious to read your hubby’s guest post. Can’t wait till Monday!
@Tony and Katie- I can see your point, but what about the fact that anyone who walks into an emergency room HAS to be treated, regardless of their ability to pay?
To me, it seems like we’ve already decided that we all deserve some level of health care because health care is sometimes necessary to stay alive. And what right is more basic than the right to life? Would we all really be this worked up about things if it weren’t so closely linked to our right to life?
So the only question is: how can we provide this in a way that is reasonably fair to all and also reasonably cost effective? Using emergency rooms as the fall back care option seems neither fair nor cost effective.
I can live with an all private solution, but only if that solution gets us really, really close to universal coverage, because without that, our emergency rooms are still the fall back for some people.
People being how they are, I suspect that getting universal coverage will require a mandate. I’m OK with that, because we all pay for the people without insurance who walk into an emergency room needing treatment, and no one can guarantee that he or she won’t end up doing that. We just can’t predict our health.
However, we could also think about trying an “opt out” sort of solution. Research shows that people usually go for the default option. So maybe we all get coverage by default and have to explicitly opt out of it. And perhaps when we opt out, we should have to set aside some reasonable chunk of money in a bank account that we control, as a sign of good faith to the rest of society that we won’t be jerks who come back and need free emergency care. (Note that this is very similar to the REAL opt out option on car insurance. People who don’t want car insurance usually don’t choose not to drive. They choose to put a bunch of money in a bank account to cover any damages they cause if they have an accident.)
There, Loralee, you said you wanted solutions. There’s one. What do you think, Tony? Could you live with something like that? If not- how do YOU want to get people out of the emergency rooms?
This fantastic and don’t sell yourself short on changing the world – if anyone can do it, lady my money is on YOU!
xxoo
One of the very best things you have ever written!!!! YOU GO GIRL!!!!
i found this through the white house page. i am a straight laced guy, no frills, no fuss, and a liberal.
i don’t usually like theatrics or high emotion in the pieces that i choose to read, which is why i sit here a bit baffled that i am intrigued and completely enamoured with your post, writing style and personality.
you have managed to state a thoughtful argument and have done it with passion and enough grace and humor to diffuse passions and to not offend either side.
i would say to be a politician yourself but you are probably a bit too colorful for this country. no offense meant by that.
i honestly hope that you meet the president. if i was in the administration i would see you a gem and hold you up as an example of someone who has many conservative beliefs that wants change and is willing to work with others to get it.
i hope to see you on cnn soon, ms. choate. the pleasure has been all mine.
-garrett
When I mentioned auto insurance… I was thinking more about the fact that the government enforces regulations within the insurance companies. I understand the difference pointed out. I don’t think that the government should require everyone with a life to get health insurance the way that everyone who has a car gets auto insurance. I just think that the government should be making sure that everyone at least has the OPTION to get health coverage IF they want it. When I was speaking about car insurance I was really referring more to the fact that no one minds government stepping in there to say how an auto insurance company can or cannot act. Government restricts and outlines the kinds of coverage, the bare minimum, the extra choices, etc. on vehicles – why can’t something be done along the same lines with health coverage?
Okay, aside from the pointless referenceto your
TaTa’s, what I should have said is that you, more than anything else, exemplify what is wrong with our health care system.
Back when President Obama was Candidate Obama, I was reading a lot of stuff from both sides of the political process. Think tanks on both sides were churning out stuff trying to emphasize their point of view and I read one thing – one thing – that really struck a chord in me and I have never lost sight of what was said. As an expression of a ‘plank’ in the platform of the Progressive point of view, it was said that the idea is supposed to be to “Spend the Common Wealth for the Common Good”. To my mind, a Universal Health Plan, or a Public Option, represents that idea perfectly. I am not a “Socialist” (whatever that is), but I believe in helping when and where I can. I believe in putting my money where my mouth is. A young mother I know, a blogger, is having a hard time making ends meet – ahard time keeping enough money in the house to feedher 3 kids. I bought 100 dollars in gift cards from local grocery stores and gave them to her today. I’m willing to spend some of MY wealth for the Common Good. I believe so should we all.
My family of four mostly healthy people, aged 33, 33, 4, and 2, spends over $14,000 a year on health insurance alone – that figure does not include our co-pays, our deductibles, many prescriptions, etc. For example, the Imitrex I have to take for my migraines isn’t fully covered, and it costs me $15 a pill.
I get 2 migraines a month. I can only buy 4 pills at a time, because of my insurance company’s restrictions, and sometimes it takes more than one pill to get rid of a migraine.
It sucks to be in pain, with two small kids, and thinking, “Is it worth $15 to take something to get rid of this, or should I just suck it up and save that money?”
We literally spend more on our health insurance than we spend on our mortgage.
We’re self-employed. We went for many, many years between college and the early years of our company without insurance. It was scary, knowing that we were one illness away from bankruptcy all the time. It was like playing Russian Roulette.
We already insure the least-insurable population in this country – the elderly. And while it’s not perfect, there is supplemental insurance available for people on Medicare to purchase. I think a similar system could work for all Americans.
Or, hell, just give us the opportunity to buy into the same plan that Congress is on. Because I don’t see any of our “public servants” worrying about $15 pills.
And I’m sure if they made every uninsured American part of the same “group” we’d have a lot of buying power and probably be able to get great prices – the reason my husband and I pay so much is because we are the only two full time employees of our company. We had to search and search to find any company that would sell a “two person group” policy.
The system is broken. The Republicans are insane. Don’t let them stop this important reform!
Dear LL, I found this site from the White House link. This blog’s tone gives me hope that blogs are not all ‘hatetospheres’. Thank you and your bloggers who focus on the issue(s) without posting mean and hateful statements about people.
I worked for 40 years, lost my job and found myself without health insurance and a chronic condition that left untreated would land me in dialysis treatment. My state offered an opportunity to have basic preventative exams and pay for my prescriptions with a co pay. I was grateful.
I now have a job. It is not a job in my field but it offers good health insurance and prescription coverage. I’m working for the benefits. Finding fulfillment has to come from other areas of life. Retirement is not even on the radar screen. As long as I can work, I will work, for the benefits.
I live near the Washington DC area and I am delighted that you and your husband will be coming to our region; but I’m a ‘flipped over pancake’ that you have a standing invitation from Ms. V. Jarrett of the White House of the United States to visit. The POTUS and FLOTUS said that the White House is the ‘people’s house’ and you are certainly one of the people. Enjoy the visit! BTW, I believe everyone who visits gets a special take away gift from the White House. So, don’t risk setting off alarms and being wrestled to the ground for taking soap (please lol).
Peace, well being and blessings to you and yours.
Q2MK
We got pregnant, wasn’t planned but as someone told me ‘birth control is just a vote’. When my husband’s company switched insurances to a high deductible, we were told pregnancy was covered 100%. It isn’t. We have to meet our $6000 deductible first. $6000!!!! Then it’s only covered a certain percentage and we pay the rest. We can’t afford that. As it is they don’t cover my pre-existing condition. We have to pay a midwife out of pocket and do a homebirth because it’s the affordable option. My daughter, his step-daughter can’t be on his plan unless he adopts her, well her dad wouldn’t be very happy about that. He’s unemployed so no insurance there. We tried to get her on the children’s insurance here in our state but can’t because my husband makes too much!!!!! So, her dad can’t cause he can’t find work, we can’t because we can’t afford another plan and can’t put her on our existing(crappy) plan. I have an 8 year old who can’t get insurance. How is that fair? How can people say our system is ok and they’d rather pay through the nose and be denied coverage than have a public option?
Left up to me I would 100% advocate a single payer system. We’ve actually looked into moving to another country just for the health care. We’d give up our country and our extended family just to have health care for our children. That a sign of things gone wrong.
How dare insurance big-wigs pocket our hundreds of dollars a month AND require we pay everything on our own and THEN deny coverage. I’ve heard them call procedures that have been done for DECADES ‘experimental’ just to avoid paying.
My cousin’s boyfriend can’t get insurance through his work, and he has a brain tumor. He’s dying because he can’t afford health care. A friend who officiated at my wedding is dying of ovarian cancer because she has no insurance and can’t afford treatments. These are people in their 20′s. Much too young to have to die because of health care issues. Sad and heartbreaking. No one should have to die because they aren’t privileged enough to pay for health care.
I’m another first-time reader who got to your blog via the white house website. I was engaged in a facebook “comment debate” and was actually looking for the real text of the health care reform bill (which I did find on the House website), but meanwhile I got distracted by this link and I can only say WOW! What a writer, what a woman, what an example! Not only your blog but so many of the comments it engendered. I find myself crying out of hope (somehow I think you will know what I mean). Thank you for promoting honest, real discussion that could actually support real change. Thank you!!!!
Hello Loralee! I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your site, but I’ve been reading your blog for a while now. I just thought I’d say congratulations! What an amazing opportunity, and I’m so very happy for you!
I live in Idaho (I don’t have a militia… yet), and I’m fairly conservative. While I don’t support this health care bill, I do believe that a change in our health care system is needed. My biggest complaint (besides socialization- yes I’m one THOSE conservatives) with the proposal is that the government will have the say on what procedures I may or may not have done. As my husband and I are fertilely challenged (unfortunately) by nature, I don’t want the govt to be able to say that we can’t have fertility procedures done because we already have a kid or whatever reason there could possibly be. I’m not saying it would happen for certain, but they would have the power to do it. That is not my only complaint, but one that would strike fear into my heart if it were allowed to happen.
I think a really good reform could be put through if both sides of the party system could agree on something. Why is it that each side feels like they have to win?
Also, do you do singing lessons? I’m poor (recently laid off due to my job being outsourced… awesome), but I would drive my butt down to see you if I could get one singing lesson. And also, I think you’re wonderful even if you lean to the left politically. ;)
Loralee,
You are freaking amazing! I have read your blog for a while. I sobbed when I read about your sons death, I cried over all your insurance issues, and I bawled like a baby when Aaron was born. I am so damn proud of you, as a blogger, as a mother, and as a woman of action. You didnt let what happened to you break you and now you are making things happen! Linked from the the damn White House! Holy heck!
What you said about dreaming of being able to afford insurance, struck me hard. That’s my dream too. I want to not live in fear that something will happen to me or dh and we won’t be able to get treatment.
We are lower income at the moment, my sons are on insurance for children through the state. But they don’t give anything like that to adults in Florida unless you are pregnant.
When I hurt my knee 4 months ago, I racked up insane hospital bills, but only got half ass treatment. NO rehab, NO PT, NO follow up care. I am still freaking limping. My husband works full time and I am a student, we are raising 3 kids, one of which is special needs.Insurance through my dh’s job is more than we pay in rent every month! So we would have to choose to have a roof over our heads or insurance!
I am a democrat in Florida (we do exist) and I don’t agree with the reform bill as it stands right now. But I am thrilled Obama is making an effort to change things. We need reform NOW. As other comments have said, its a shame that one of the richest, powerful countries in the world is allow people to suffer or DIE from lack of medical coverage.
I don’t have the answers to make reform work. I just know that something has to give. People are concerned about higher taxes and I understand that, but think of what people are spending in payments, co-pays, and deductibles now. I also hear that people don’t want the government in charge of our heath, do we trust corporations more?
I love all the awesome and peaceful debate you have inspired!
@Rebekah
I wondered if I would tick off Idaho. ;P
And how lovely is it for you to want a singing lesson from me. Despite 2 years of Vocal Pedagogy training and teaching at the University I attended I am not currently teaching vocal lessons.
But.
I would for you. No charge. I understand what it’s like to be poor as hell. I used to clean for my vocal instructor because I didn’t have $100 a 30 minute lesson. (She was worth much, much more)
Email me and I’ll ask you about your vocal experience, history, etc. and we’ll set something up.
Warning: I teach classical or classicly inclined musical theater. While I can sing jazz and can belt I would not feel comfortable teaching it. Just so you know.
First time reader of your blog. My sister runs a militia in Idaho, just so you know:)
I’m sorry for all you’ve been through. And what a gift you’re giving others by sharing your experience and getting your voice heard.
I can’t believe you get hate mail. That’s one of the things that worrys me about blogging. I actually find myself subconsiously (sp?) trying NOT to get traffic to my blog, because I’m so thin skinned I don’t know if I can take any criticism.
At any rate, so glad your here and that I found you.
@Kim
Hey, send my husband her way. I imagine the cost of starting your own militia is a bitch and we’re a little strapped right now. ;P
I have had words said to me that would melt your face off they are so vile.
They are NOTHING compared to the love and support I have gotten from my blog.
Plus, the longer you do it the thicker your skin gets. I could never, ever have written a post like this even a few months ago.
Cheesy as it may be, meeting this gracious women and seeing how she handled dissent and discussion was empowering like nobodies bidness.
That said, I am very human and my skin isn’t THAT thick.
It still hurts a lot from time to time.
Don’t give up though.
Okay, so now I think you really rock. I jsut added you to my blogroll. And I haven’t updated my blogroll in forever!
Good morning!
I have stumbled on your blog as a result of a coincident (well, okay, not so much; I’m just a freak). I follow The White House twitter, through which I found Ms. Jarrett’s article about meeting you. I wanted to know more, so I looked up… wasn’t very good idea, considering that the amount of a free time in my life is gonna shrink considerably when back to my University. But whaterver. Now I’m bound to read you :)
I wanted to say that I feel for you and all your struggling with life and I’m happy it’s getting better. Good people should never experience the things you’ve been through. I also admire your courage, the day-to-day fight for better life. Way to go, Loralee :)
Anyway, you have inspired me to start my own blog. Not that I haven’t done it before, I did, just not in English. Maybe one day my entries will be as good as yours… (Yeah, like that’d be possible.) Did I say that your blog is extremely interesting also because of your language skills and style?
Okay, enough of the flattering, though it is all true. (I cannot help the fact that I prefer to criticize than make compliments xD). What I wanted to say is that until now I didn’t know how much your Health Care Program sucks. I mean, here in Poland (yup, I’m Polish) we have our own issues with Health Care, but at least when I call 112 (European version of your 911; if only it would work the way it’s supposed to…), I don’t need to wonder if I can afford it. Going to doctor is as natural as it gets, I pick up the phone, call my family doc and the same day I go to see him (or, in my case, her). True, the queues for specialists are incredibly long, sometimes you have to wait for months to go to see certain doctor, i.e. the waiting list to see an endocrynologist is two months long and it’s not that long compared to others. But at least everybody can have it – and if you have money, you can also go and see a doc privately, most of them have a private practice, though for chronic patients the cost is usually unaffordable (i.e. for one visit at ginecologist I pay from 80zl to 120zl, it’s about $28 to $42; I don’t know what are the prices in US, but I do know that you are generally better paid; for my family the cost of my ilness is a considerable burden). There’s also a matter of certain examinations and procedures that are not refunded and those are usually the most expensive ones.
Well, as I said, we have some issues of our own. But, my point is – getting some care, even if you need to wait in a queue (and my nation is used to the queues, especially those people born before ’89), is better than getting none. I don’t know the details of this new reform (hell, i don’t even know the details of my own government’s recent bills), but what I guess is good and quite inspiring is that President listens to the people. That’s not that often, at least as far as I know.
OK, I know, I’m sorry. I talk too much about things I don’t know anything about. (Well, I generally talk too much.) I guess I’m just moved by all that, but I have to admit that I kinda look at it through YOUR eyes. (As my own are here in Poland.)
Anyway – God-speed and farewell :) May the Force be with you!
regards,
Amelia.
PS. I can’t help it, sorry.
“There is no dirtier word than ’socialism’ in my state and with my family.”
In here there is perhaps only one dirtier word and it’s ‘communism’. If you say ‘I’m a communist’ in Poland, it’s as well as you’d say ‘I’m a murderer’ or ‘I’m a Nazi’. For political parties to describe itself as communist or socialist is to sentence itself to the political exile. And still, it’s not that all Poles are conservatives, many of them have left-winged opinions – though for now the right wing is in charge. (Personally, I’m more centric-right, though what drives me crazy is the fact that despite the great number of political parties in here, there is literally none I could vote for with clear conscience, knowing that they represent everything I believe in; so I choose the lesser evil when I vote, not really optimistic stuation, huh?)
PPS. I am really sorry for all the mistakes I have made, which I am sure were numerous. Your language is quite difficult and I am still learning it, though I try hard not to make many mistakes; I know that it can drive people crazy, I am myself very irritated when someone makes them in Polish (I’m kinda a purist when it comes to my mother language).
PPPS. I talk waaay too much o.O Sorry!
First of all, I think this is awesome that you have been a voice in the debate. More people need to come forward and tell their stories.
When I read the posts about your health care struggles, I wanted to cry. I can relate. I went without insurance when I got out of school and had to pre-pay for all treatments before I could have them. Paying for an MRI out of pocket is expensive. And that was back in the days where they would not negotiate or give discounts to the uninsured.
I have insurance (two of them thanks to jobs) but I still have lots of out of pocket expenses and constant fights to try and get things paid for. If I have to fill every prescription at once for my family, I think it comes to $400 in co-pays. My entire family is uninsurable in the individual market due to our conditions. I work in insurance and see every day as more and more employers decide they cannot afford the costs and canceling coverage. I also see the pressure the health care reform is putting on insurance companies.
With that said, yes the system is broke and we need to fix it, but I don’t believe an all government or all private option is the best for this country. I think it will be a effort between the government and health insurance companies to make sure all Americans have coverage.
I wanted to chime in and say that my husband’s guest post about his experience will be up on Monday.
I hope you all come back and look at a different point of view. (Plus, I admit that I want him to do well because I love him.)
I hope I am not coming off as showing favoritism with my replies in the later comments, it’s just that I have more time to reply and comment back than earlier.
I have read every email, every tweet, every comment regarding this post.
Your stories…OH your stories. I have sobbed for some of you. There are so many, many people out there struggling.
I have to say again how well people have behaved here. It gives me so much hope that people ARE able and willing to have a civil discussion that is focused on solution and making something work.
I truly and deeply appreciate every single comment even if we don’t see eye-to-eye.
Y’all are the bomb diggity.
@Amelia Multiple use of Post Scripts will only cause me to love you. I have a total thing for them.
And just so you know how this is being viewed by the administration, here’s something from my inbox:
Dear Loralee-
You are simply amazing! The outpouring of support renews my faith in the goodness of people.
Yesterday morning I described your blog to the President and the numerous responses that were posted. Since then, there are so many more. I have read them all!
The President was deeply moved by your courage to tell your story and the tremendous pouring of support. His hope is that through your bravery, many others will speak out too.
We are also looking forward to your husband’s blog.
Please let us know when you would like to visit the White House.
Please stay in touch!
Take care,
Valarie
They want to hear from you! Please continue to speak up with your stories, ideas, solutions from BOTH sides. If you don’t do it here, do it somewhere. Fight to keep civil dialogue flowing. Between us all we can do this.
Came through twitter. How are we supposed to know and trust those are her real words and not just you?
Jayse – We have photos and reports from a dozen people documenting Loralee’s meeting with Valarie Jarrett at BlogHer. We have the White House website pointing to Loralee’s blog. And NOW you think Loralee is making THIS up? What would make you happy? A signed, notarized photo of Valarie typing the email with a copy of today’s NY Times in the foreground? Woman, please.
(What Suebob said.)
Loralee, wow. This is so right.
@Jayse
I promise you that I am not making anything up. Not only would I not do that, there is so much attention being focused on this blog right now it would be certain internet death for me.
I would lose all credibility as a writer and person and would most likely be a pariah in a community that means everything to me.
It would take way, way bigger balls and way, way more stupidity than I have to make up something and attach Valarie Jarrett’s name to it, trust me.
I am sure by now though, after pondering it and hearing from @Suebob (who is amazing) you will have rationed it out and come to a different conclusion.
I hope we’re straight and good now?
I apologize. I should have read the post and blog. I don’t know you, I followed a retweet and it seemed fishy to me. I jumped the gun.
Congratualtions.
Oh, and I am a guy, not a girl. Jayse is like Jase.
@Jayse
Apology is absolutely accepted.Sorry for assuming you were female.
Commenting again:
“They want to hear from you! Please continue to speak up with your stories, ideas, solutions from BOTH sides. If you don’t do it here, do it somewhere. Fight to keep civil dialogue flowing. Between us all we can do this.”
This seriously brought tears to my eyes.
We are on our last few days of employer based health insurance — and I JUST had my ankle put back together from breaking it in 3 places, which will require numerous aftercare visits.
Since my husband decided to work for himself, we are going on COBRA starting September 1st. I am scared and unsure about the costs and, from what I’ve heard, ridiculously high premiums.
However, I feel like one of the lucky ones — because I know that we will be able to choose a health plan that we can afford come January 1st — the standard enrollment date. I *could* be wrong and be hit with pre-existing conditions BS, but I hope for the best as we enter a very uncertain time for our family in terms of our health care.
Lots of love to you, Loralee.
“And we can’t afford the health bills that would produce.” I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. Wonderful blog, thank you thank you thank you.
I am crying. Because I am in a tough situation with healthcare as well. I don’t have any! My childrena re covered by Medicaid. My husband has insurance through his job but it does not cover me. So I spend my days in pain from a back injury, unable to pick up my children without pain because I cannot afford to go to the doctor.
My views on the reform are frighteningly similar to yours.
I am so glad your voice (my voice!) has been heard by the White House.
And I am so happy for you. That your husband has seen the good in what you do. You deserve respect. Maybe he can talk to my husband!