Which should tell you just what kind of a week it has been. It’s been full of fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles*…

You get the idea.

Mainly, it’s just…weird. Weird as in making amends with 3 completely un-related people from your far past in the span of 4 days when you didn’t initiate it, weird. It seems like every random, unrelated bit of “Huh?” decided to pick this week to come out of the closet.

I’m used to weird.

See the title of my blog up there?

As much as I have blog name regret**, it fits.

I am horrible about promoting, networking, SEO, and all other things you should do to get your blog read. Any readership I have managed to build up is pretty much because I have an weird life.

I know, I know…you read that all the time in blog descriptions, “I have a crazy life” or “I have a weird life” or “Born to be odd” and blah, blah, blah. Inevitably, those blogs often contain post after post about things like how many minutes they used on their cell phone plans that month, that their dog, “Dougie”*** ended up getting their coat shaved too short at the groomers or that the school bake sale went horribly awry because they double ordered chocolate cookie crunch cupcakes and no vanilla bean was delivered.

Posers.

This week the weird has been kicked up a notch or five. The numerous examples of sheer coincidence that have been piled on is staggering. As in “WTF?!” staggering. There have been things that have been so lovely (old childhood friends contacting me) and generously overwhelming (all 3 places I live on the Internet are about to get prettied up) and exciting (can’t quite talk about those yet,but I will) that I have FREAKED WITH YAY! in celebration.****

And there are situations that make me so upset that I just want to scream at the top of my voice and then curl in a little ball with some milk and cookies under my blanket. (I’m an emotional eater.)

I’ve been dealing just fine considering everything, but it’s been a lot to handle and juggle, even for me and I am needing a bit of a vent.

So, since this is my blog, it’s roughly 3 o’clock in the morning AND my adorable wee little babe is sleeping snuggled up next to me, you are going to have to let me get some of it out here.

Ready?

BOO! BOO!! Rubbish!!! Filth!!!! Slime!!!!! Muck!!!!!! Boo!!!!!!!!! Boo!!!!!!!!!! Boo!!!!!!!!!!! BOO!!!!!!!!!!!

And why don’t we end on a good note and let some of the huge happiness over the amazing things that have happened this week squeeze on out as well.

Ready??

FREAK WITH YAY! FREAK WITH YAY!! FREAK WITH YAY!!! FREAK WITH YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Phew!

Thanks, I feel so much better. After I go get a Diet Coke**** I will be much, much more capable of facing this week.

Now, can someone tell the Dread Pirate Roberts that his ship is double parked behind my car?

Thanks n’ stuff,******

Loralee*******

* You all get the movie reference to this, right? TELL ME YOU GET IT, PEOPLE!

** Seriously, if you live in small-ish area and care at all about your blog being discovered by people who go to religious services with your relatives, I highly recommend NOT putting your highly unusual name IN your URL. It’s just a bad idea.

*** I don’t actually know a dog named “Dougie”, I cop to using the name of a blog reader that has been a fan forever. It may seem insulting to name a fictitious dog after a reader but I adore him and he insists on not marrying me and having babies together SIMPLY because I am already with husband and he is gay. Whatever. I do not accept excuses! “DO NOT LET MY VAGINA DESTROY OUR LOVE, DOUGIE! MY HUSBAND DOESN’T!!”

***** I totally made this up last week and cop to writing this entire pointless post JUST to use it. Totally worth it. Just so you know.

***** YES, I am going to go and get a Diet Coke at 3 am. Don’t you judge me.

****** I decided to try using asterisks in my post instead of over using multiple Post Scripts over and over. I feel they are getting a bit tired. Did it work?

******* What? What’s that you say?? The asterisks not only DIDN’T work but if you see another one of them or a list of mind-boggling Post Scripts again on this blog you’ll take my holocaust cloak and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine??? Dude, WHO PEED IN YOUR CHEERIOS TODAY? FINE, THEN! I WON’T USE ANY MORE ASTERISKS OR POST SCRIPTS EVER AGAIN!!!!!!

********* Or not.

OH, and?

P.S. PPPFFFTTTHHHH!!

:)

People have asked me, “So, what on earth are you going to write about for your next post after all this?”

That is probably the easiest question I have been asked in this last week because I knew exactly what I would blog about today-

My kid.

Happy birthday, James.

Mama.

P.S. I am sorry if this embarrasses you.

P.P.S. Ok, not really. I have been waiting to foist mushy, public, mom displays of affection for my teenagers on them since I was enduring the same treatment from your grandmother. You know, for sheer revenge.

P.P.P.S. NOT that revenge is ever a good thing to do, son.

P.P.P.P.S. Unless of course you are ever shoved down to the ground on the playground by a kid with the nickname of “Meany Mikey” because he wanted your turn on the monkey bars and you said no. In THAT case you absolutely have my permission to take your carton of milk at lunch and bag of cheetos and pour the contents into his coat pockets.

P.P.P.P.P.S. Not that I would ever do that or anything.

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Anyway, just take the high road. It’s easier. Although it also means you will probably have fewer interesting stories to tell when you are grown up. Which isn’t all bad and means that you probably won’t have people calling me when you’re 34 and tattling to me about your blog.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. And, son? Don’t take revenge on me for this by writing about my incontinence in my old age. I’m your elder. Show some respect.

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Thank you for talking your little brother into doing whatever the freak it was that prompted this photo. It’s pretty much made my life. Just so you know.