I have so flipping much to say and yet today has been so freaking long and exhausting moving, taking kids to a movie, more moving, painting, sanding, I really think that I will leave you a tiny bit of photographic evidence of what I and a large portion of my friends and family have been doing lately. (And it? Is only a tiny, TINY fraction. Ugh.)

BEFORE

This kitchen suckasuckasuckaSUCKED before. The cabinets were decades old and extremely cheap. I hated them. There was a chimney we ripped out, all the bead board was repainted, the walls were retextured…basically the floor is the only thing we kept.




AFTER-”ISH” (It’s not all done but I’ll repost when all the bits and bobs are in place)

Better, no? I was worried that it was on the verge of being the dream kitchen of a high school goth that writes cheesy poems about their pain, but as I move more things in it seems less and less so.

This is one of my favorite things. My disposal turns on with this button. Very cool.

We still have to tile the backsplashes with this:

And this corner where my fridge used to sit is going to be a desk/computer/information center. I am most excited about it. We finished most of it tonight but I forgot my camera. You’ll see photos later. You know, after I am moved in and dead of tired.

Anyhoo…there is SO MUCH MORE.

Seriously, you cannot imagine the work that has been done on this house. We won’t get it all done before we’re out of our townhouse by next Monday but by the time we wrap everything up every single room will be repainted, refixtured, redone, ect.

All for under $3,000.

It REALLY helps to have inlaws that are all construction/electrical/plumbing/allthingsremodel savvy.

Did I mention that after we are (supposed to be) moved out of our town house by Monday I have to board a plane on Wednesday and fly to Chicago to BlogHer to be charming and lovely with 1,000 other bloggers?

I wonder what everyone will think if I just walk around looking like this the entire conference?

Cause I have a feeling it is exactly how I will feel. Only fatter and with fewer eyebrows. (Did I mention that the one thing I decided to splurge on and have done was getting my eyebrows waxed and SHE WAXED THE DAMN THINGS ALMOST ENTIRELY OFF?? No? Man…we have a lot to catch up on. Also…No one can ever acuse me of only posting flattering photos on this website ever again.)

Ugh.

It’s late.

The baby is crying.

I will probably start crying next.

Hold me.

I went to IKEA yesterday.

Surely everyone here knows what IKEA is, right?

We finally got one in Utah a few years ago and we are buying a ton of things for our move back to our old house and kitchen remodel there.

I’ve been a few times since it opened. My husband has not. Which ended up being really unfortunate for me. IKEA is far away from my house so we carefully planned everything we wanted to see and buy and we were supposed to leave at noon.

Noon came and went.

I called and tried to tell Jonathan that we REALLY needed to get going because IKEA is like the end warehouse scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark, only with boxes of cheap and modern Swedish shit instead of swastika stamped boxes of stolen German shit.

It is massive and you need time to go there and shop. Even if you are pretty clear on what you need. They give you a map of the damn place for Pete’s Sake.

It just takes time.

Did he believe me?

NO.

Guess who ended up leaving at 5:00pm instead of noon?

Guess who also aggravated their already injured back because they had to run madly around the store in the TWO measly hours of shopping time they had because they didn’t leave until 5:00?

AND guess who ended up only buying half of what they needed at IKEA and will have to drive 2 hours each way to get the rest of it this week?

Yup.

ME.

(Give yourself a pat on the back for getting that answer right. You are totally brilliant. And pretty. And you smell like flowers n’ stuff.)

Conclusion of all of this?

BOO on driving another 4 hours round trip with my back of suckitude. If we do not leave according to schedule this time my husband will be in peril of losing his manly bits.

FOR REALS.

On the positive side?

I still love my husband. Even though he runs on his own time. I also love shopping at IKEA. Cheap Swedish shit is the bomb diggity, yo. I bow to the Massive Blue and Yellow Swede God of Mass Production.

And the best silver lining of them all?

This means I can consume another serving of Swedish meatballs in the cafe and buy more Swedish chocolate bars at the checkout aisle.

Dude. I am never going to lose this baby weight, am I?