I went to IKEA yesterday.
Surely everyone here knows what IKEA is, right?
We finally got one in Utah a few years ago and we are buying a ton of things for our move back to our old house and kitchen remodel there.
I’ve been a few times since it opened. My husband has not. Which ended up being really unfortunate for me. IKEA is far away from my house so we carefully planned everything we wanted to see and buy and we were supposed to leave at noon.
Noon came and went.
I called and tried to tell Jonathan that we REALLY needed to get going because IKEA is like the end warehouse scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark, only with boxes of cheap and modern Swedish shit instead of swastika stamped boxes of stolen German shit.
It is massive and you need time to go there and shop. Even if you are pretty clear on what you need. They give you a map of the damn place for Pete’s Sake.
It just takes time.
Did he believe me?
NO.
Guess who ended up leaving at 5:00pm instead of noon?
Guess who also aggravated their already injured back because they had to run madly around the store in the TWO measly hours of shopping time they had because they didn’t leave until 5:00?
AND guess who ended up only buying half of what they needed at IKEA and will have to drive 2 hours each way to get the rest of it this week?
Yup.
ME.
(Give yourself a pat on the back for getting that answer right. You are totally brilliant. And pretty. And you smell like flowers n’ stuff.)
Conclusion of all of this?
BOO on driving another 4 hours round trip with my back of suckitude. If we do not leave according to schedule this time my husband will be in peril of losing his manly bits.
FOR REALS.
On the positive side?
I still love my husband. Even though he runs on his own time. I also love shopping at IKEA. Cheap Swedish shit is the bomb diggity, yo. I bow to the Massive Blue and Yellow Swede God of Mass Production.
And the best silver lining of them all?
This means I can consume another serving of Swedish meatballs in the cafe and buy more Swedish chocolate bars at the checkout aisle.
Dude. I am never going to lose this baby weight, am I?
Stumble it!
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My Ikea is only 20 minutes away but getting there and making a purchase is harder than planning a trip to Sweden. I mainly just drool on the catalog.
I have never been to Ikea but my need for cheap Swedish homegoods is beginning to take over. It’s a 4 hour drive (each way) for me so I am hoping (fingers crossed) to go in August.
Our Ikea is 10-15 mins away = Danger!! :)
love me some Swedish goodness!!
Oops, didn’t mean to be anon!!
Yep, we have a few nasty little Ikea stories ourselves. I love that place, but damnit if I don’t hate going there…with the kids. Without them I could spend all day (really all weekend) there. They have every single last thing a girl like me needs. Food, sweets, and pretty things. It’s my own personal heaven on earth. In other news, I love your blog. This is my first time here so I’m still digging around, seeing if anything is gonna gross me out, piss me off or make me hate you. So far so good! Now that you probably officially hate me, I’ll shut up and head off for some additional good ole fashioned blogger stalking. It’s an illness, I know.
Oh, and I’ve found that we have a few things in common, mainly the husbands mostly missing from the blog element. Mine is all Internet shy, too. Luckily, I spend a good chunk of my days focusing on people other than him so it’s really kinda easy just leave his input out. Often wish I could do the same in real life:)
IKEA is teh AWESOME!
I LOVE IKEA.
I HATE being late for anything, or leaving later than I wanted. I get stabby.
My hubby is also on his own time clock, but insists that he is completely aware of what time it is. I say, “So, you are intentionally trying to be late, then?” He just gets this blank look on his face.
I love Ikea, too!
oh sweet hell. yes. my husband is incapable of telling time. now i only get mad at myself when i don’t pad the times i need him to do something – or when i actually expect him to show up at the time he said.
Never been to IKEA. Our closes one is about 3 hours away, I think. I like to drool over their website, though.
Sorry about your back of suckitude, but more Swedish chocolate bars is always a plus. Can’t wait to see the pics of assembled Ikea-ness.
I love Ikea. I have dreams of a bigger budget, wherein Wes and I can go there and shop and purchase cheap stuff to make our lives more efficient and/or Swedish…
Would you believe that I’ve NEVER been to IKEA? The thought of the meatballs alone makes me want to go.
They really give you a map? That is just too cool.
I here you girl! My daughter (28) and I make a day of IKEA just to walk around and see what is new. Of course we also have time for the meatballs too!
That’s I hear you girl! I hate when I do that………………………
i too am an ikea fan. my dh would rather be left to die in the sun than go. sux to be me though because when i am going there to buy big purchases i NEED his opinion….. so i get to go again. happy for me my 5yo ds can go to the playland!!!! :)
yummy swedish meatballs. yummy chocolate. yummy cinnamon rolls. *sigh*
I loathe Ikea. Every time I step foot in that store thinking I need to buy something, I immediately want to turn around and leave. Sometimes before I get into the store.
But it’s nice that you like it :-)
I hate to laugh at someone else’s pain, but OMG, woman, you slayed me with this:
IKEA is like the end warehouse scene of Raiders of the Lost Ark, only with boxes of cheap and modern Swedish shit instead of swastika stamped boxes of stolen German shit.
LOL…your writing is funny. I <3 IKEA myself, partially because it is so big and has those nice concrete floors. Seriously. We’re getting one in the next town down…still under construction but should be open in plenty of time for me to make my Christmas list (for others to shop for me, I mean!)
Worse than shopping at Ikea (which is actually fun if you have a day to do it, like Disneyland) is assembling all that stuff. But that’s another post for another day, I’m sure!
And on your next trip, try the Daim toffee bars they sell in the food market. I think they named them that because one bite and you’ll be all “DAAAAIIIM this shit be good!”
None here in Vegas (yet), we’re driving all the way to Portland for Granddaughter and hitting the one there. Plan on filling up the back seat for the return.
I have NEVER been to IKEA! From their website, it looks like we don’t have any in our state! Boo, hiss!!
But now I know what I’ll be doing for the rest of the afternoon, browsing their website and saying all the Swedish names out loud in my Swedish accent.
I LOVE cheap Swedish crap more than I thought possible! I am road tripping to the IKEA in Ft Liquordale next Friday. Can I bring ya something???
Hi Friend – thanks for saying I’m brilliant and look pretty and smell good! You’re so nice! But be glad there’s no such thing as the equivalent of smellivision for computers and that we don’t webcam, because then you would know I’m only brilliant…
We never shop at IKEA. Furniture building Hubs refuses to set foot in the door.
Instead we travel by ferry to hit outlet stores in Vancouver, filling the backseat up with toilet paper, socks, and other things that we can’t buy where we live. I know. Who would live where you can’t buy SOCKS?
There is an IKEA 2 hrs from me but I am a bit scared to go and check it out. Mostly for my bank accounts sake than anything else…LOL.
Oh IKEA, you evil Swedish mistress.
I have a bunch of their stuff. The showroom has NOTHING on the warehouse. Good luck, ma belle.
I too love IKEA. But I also shop from the catalog and get my sister-in-law or friend to pick up my stuff for me. It’s the only way I can get ‘out’ with just what I went in for :)
It’s the cinnamon rolls that get me. But I avoid the Ikea store like the plague, because they design it so you can’t skip from spot to spot just picking up what you want; at least the store near us (luckily 15 min away) is designed so that you LITERALLY have to walk through every single department. I am always so tired when I leave that I swear I’ll never go back there again.
I love Ikea and could easily lose a day there. Lucky for me it’s only 20-30 minutes away. Two HOURS?! I’d want to just plant myself there for the weekend with that kind of drive time.
I am a fan of the soft serve cone.
I have panic attacks in IKEA. My LA Ikea is always jammed packed and I feel like a cow being herded.
My second (and last!) time there, it was extra packed and I freaked out, fighting backwards against the human traffic and bailed out of the entrance. I hate that you can’t just leave when you want to, you have to go through the whole store!
Those meatballs are NOTHING compared to the cinnamon rolls. Danger.
My IKEA is 15 minutes from my house, and I still have to carve out HOURS to do there, “pop in” and grab a toy that I’ve pre-chosen and just need to pay for for the birthday party we’re going to — because you have to walk past approximately 397,649 items between the toys and the cash registers. And they all smell/look/taste good and are convenient/ergonomic/aesthetically appealing. It’s like torture. But the good kind.
We have an Ikea 30 mins from our house. I was just there today. Those damn swedish meatballs are so freaking good
we don’t have an ikea in mississippi. why? i don’t know. however, we do have a walmart every 30 miles. and a mcdonald’s. there may not be a gas station between home and walmart, but there will be a walmart. i wonder if we’re the walmart capital of the world? probably not. i’m betting that’s arkansas.
I’ll meet you at Ikea if you haven’t gone yet!
An IKEA story:
Once in the IKEA elevator my bff, me and my husband were riding. My husband said, “kill me now” and the other men in the elevator said “here, here” and all the women laughed then dragged them through the store :)
I have found going MINUS the husband makes the trip so much more enjoyable :)