“Jon? I know we’ve decided to go with the AWESOMELY priced used knotty alder cabinets** for the kitchen instead of IKEA, but my mom is worried that you have some doubts about them.”

“No, I think it will be fine.”

“I know that. I just need you to not voice any doubts or problems you have to my mom because then she gets uncertain and I hear about it over and over until I feel pressure to fix and correct the problem.”

“Really? In that case, instead of complaining to your mom about cabinets I should tell her that I need WAY more blow jobs.”

blink, blink, blinkity-blink, blink.

“Dude. That would SO be grounds for divorce in some countries!!!”

“EXACTLY.”

**Huge, huge thanks and kisses to the awesome-cabinet-owning-friend who knows who she is. xo!

In addition to having a 6-wk-old, major back suck and moving?

We ripped out the entire kitchen and laundry area of the house and have 2 weeks to finish it all and get moved in.

Yup.

Crazy is the new black, yo.

This?

Is how I am still somewhat sane and/or not dead. My secret weapon against all sorts of suckitude. 26 seconds of bliss, y’all. How can multiple nightly feedings be bothersome when I get to look at THAT?
Thanks, little butterbean.
You are saving your mama.
I think you’re way better than Zoloft.

xoxoxo

*Kudo points if you name the film the title was taken from.