You know those pregnant bloggers you can’t stand because ALL they blog about towards the end of their pregnancy is THEIR PREGNANCY? Yeah. I’m one of those. Yes, I’m still going on and on and ON about it. No, this pregnancy will NEVER END and my fetus will be attending college in utero.
I try to think up different things to write about but honestly, it’s all that is going on with me right now and when it feels like someone is doing a faceplant into your tailbone it tends to take most of your focus.
I try not to blog about the very big things that are going on with me because well, they are very big and blogging about them would be…complicated. So, I talk about the smaller things to take some of the pressure away from the others.
Like the fact that I was so tired I bumped into a clothing rack while shopping AND APOLOGIZED TO THE DAMN THING.
OR that I went to lunch with a great theater friend and talked for a long time after we finished eating. We said goodbye and she went to pay her bill while I went to use the ladies room first. GUESS WHO WALKED OUT WITHOUT REMEMBERING TO PAY?! (I went back 4 hours later. It was mortifying.)
But nothing, NOTHING is as suckitbucket as having to use a motorized cart to go shopping.
A few weeks ago, Jonathan dropped the bomb on me. He was going to WalMart to do the family shopping. I wanted to get out of the house so much. He had been away on business for a week and I really missed him. I was so lonely, the thought of having to stay at home alone AGAIN was too much.
So, I asked if I could go, too.
I get winded and tired walking 5 ft. and WalMart has nowhere to sit down in the middle of their store. Our last shopping attempts had been disasters, with him practically having to carry me back to the front of the store to sit down. But I must have looked really sad and pathetic because he said I could, BUT…
I looked at him, horrified.
All I could do was quote Monty Python at him and beg for mercy.
“I don’t want to go on the cart! I feel happy!! I feel happyyyyy!!!!”
No go. It was use the cart or stay home.
I gave in and agreed. Which is a huge indicator of my present mental state.
Sigh.
I’ve used a motorized cart before.
I had to ride on one for months after I had a huge blood clot when Christopher was born. I never got used to the looks I got nor managed to maneuver one successfully. While they are absolute life savers, I HATE THEM.
Can you tell?
Also?
This cart TOTALLY makes my butt look big.
Filed under: 
I am NOT going to make any snide remarks about the size of your tuchus. You are, after all, great with child. However, if in 6 months or so, said tuchus still occupies as much real estate as it obviously does now, well, then you might hear something about it. I’m just sayin’.
You look beautiful – a little forlorn, maybe, but beautiful
19 DAYS!! ONLY 19 DAYS! I can’t wait to hear about the arrival of your new baby. At this point, with as pregnant as you are, you can write about ANYTHING you damn well please. Go on with your bad (pregnant) self :)
I can’t see the pic b/c I am at work (yeah, I know) but it is perfectly acceptable at 37 weeks to blog about nothing but being pregnant. At this point, you start forgetting what it is like to not be pregnant. Yeah only 19 days!!
LOL!
Here is what I want you to do…for fun. Go to Wal-Mart, on a Saturday…say around NOON and drive that thing around and bring your entire family with you! Stop and look at every freckin thing you see.
It won’t be long now….
Ha! Reminds me of the time I was in a wheelchair after getting hit by a car. It was Christmas time, and my brother took me to the mall to help me get my shopping done. His way of helping? Parking me in front of the men’s underwear, or white tube socks while he flirted with his girlfriend! Thanks a bunch…
<3 you LL even if all you talk about is your pregnant ass :P
You always complained of having no butt, now it’s too big?
You do look kind of out of place on that thing, perhaps if you put on a gray wig or something.
You rock the electric cart! In fact, I see a new trend coming on…
That electric cart never looked so good! Hang in there!
You know the minute you stop blogging for like a day or two people are going to start freaking and wondering if you had the baby :)
Sorry about the cart but YAY!! for getting out of the house.
Best. Photo. Ever.
Here’s the thing…your butt’s still smaller than the seat – at least it’s not hanging over the sides! :) I had to use the cart at Macey’s a few times after my most recent surgery, and I knocked over a few displays, ran into people/things, but happily, didn’t get kicked out of the store! I was pretty happy about that!
My Mom made me ride in one when I went to Wal*Mart with her during a visit last year. I hated it. I have a lung condition though and I was not doing too well, but like you I wanted to be with the people I love.
Stupid scooter.
I got pretty good at cornering after a while. I was amused by the backing up beep too.
Hope the remaining time passes quickly for you… otherwise, you and foetus can attend university together.
I’m sorry, but that is friggin hilarious! You shoulda had Jonathan drive the cart while you sat on his lap ;)
LOL – Man, when I went to Wal-Mart at the end of my pregnancy, I *wanted* to ride on one of those things so bad, but there are a shit ton of elderly people who actually need the thing in my town, so I would have felt really bad for riding in it. I didn’t particularly *need* to ride one, but every now and again I would get faint and have to lean on a shelf for a minute. There was one time that it was so bad that I actually sat down right in the middle of the cereal isle for about 15 minutes while my head cleared. I would have spent less time sitting, but the rant I spewed out at this woman for making a snide comment only further raised my blood pressure.
Anyway – my Myspace and Facebook blogs are filled to the brim with the end-of-pregnancy-itis posts, so don’t worry about it. We’re all anxiously waiting for little Aaron to make his entrance!
Oh just think of the fun you could have Loralee, running over the people who stand and have long conversations in the middle of the aisle. Just sayin’!
Jake calls those people cows, because you try to get by and they don’t move. In fact they just look at you dumbly, like cows. If you can’t run ‘em over, at least bring a squirt gun or something.
I’m so jealous. :P
I guess we shall see if I crutch though walmart or get one of those carts. I hate them too.
BWAH-HA-HA. That’s awesome. I mean, not for you, but for the rest of us. Thanks.
Oh boy. you’re pretty cute.
I used a motorized scooter thing when we were at Disney. It was actually my husband’s, but I borrowed it because it looked like fun. Of course, I had had 5 extra strength tylenols beforehand for a bad migraine. I got on the scooter, and immediately plowed into a Disney employee and then into a pole.
First & last time I’ve done that.
Your ass doesn’t look fat. You just look pissed off. :o)
No, your butt makes the cart look big.
I hope your Wal Mart didn’t have one that went KaTHUNK KaTHUNK KaTHUNK the whole way through the store.
I don’t care about the weird looks anymore. If I’m shopping, I need a cart. It sucks a duck, but I’d rather that than having to pop painkillers later…
Dude, you so do not have a big butt!
After I had the c-section with the first, I had to go shopping (cause it was Christmas Eve and I hadn’t bought a single gift…)
I hopped on that bad boy and rode it like the little old ladies on the Hoverround commercials! I even used the reverse button to go down all the isles so everyone else could enjoy the BEEP BEEP BEEP.
My husband had knee surgery twice last year, and when we would go to Costco, he’d ride in a cart – otherwise, his armpits would chafe from the crutches. He LOVED it. He felt like it was real life MarioKarts. Boys.