I’m going to participate in a show on Blog Talk Radio today (Friday, April 17th) that honors sweet little Maddie Spohr to talk about ways that people can help those that are grieving the loss of a child. The host read my post about her on Blog Nosh and asked me to phone in.
I’ve done radio before but this is over the phone and is also a subject so close to my heart. I’m glad to have the opportunity because I feel like there are a couple of really important things regarding grieving parents (especially those of babies and small children) that I didn’t talk about in my post because I was snotting and crying and couldn’t see the screen to type. And of course, my focus was on Maddie (as it should have been).
It will just feel good to feel like there is SOMETHING I CAN DO right now. I haven’t been able to donate yet, I can’t walk in the March of Dimes walk (I might be able to get permission to drive the hour to at least hand out water and cheer people on, but my dr. has to sign off on it.), I couldn’t go to the funeral. It’s hard to just sit here and only be able to turn my avatar purple for her.
Though I am not nearly as close in friendship association to the loss of sweet baby Thalon just days ago, hearing from his sweet mother on my blog after his loss, his story, age, and just the way he looks is SO similar to my little bug it ripped my heart open all over again, so doing SOMETHING, anything, will be a relief.
If you want to listen, call in, or live chat during the show you can HERE. The show begins at 1:30 pm Mountain Central Time and lasts an hour. I will be calling in around 1:50.
I hope it goes well.
I’m nervous.
Stumble it!
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dear llc
you will do well with your kind words
If you speak from your heart, you’ll be fine. You may (probably will) cry – but you’ll be home and no-one will see :)
I believe that what you’re doing is just as important and will have just as much (if not a bigger impact) than being able to walk in the March of Dimes.
Will be thinking of you.
You will do great. You’re sharing what is from your heart. I’ve seen you talk and I’ve seen your writing…both are beautiful. Hugs.
Hi Loralee, good luck! I hope that it goes well. I just had a thought, after reading that there were more things that you would have liked to address in your Maddie post. Have you ever written a what to do/what not to do post about how friends and family can help grieving parents? Kinda like Heather’s about parents with babies in the NICU? I always worry about saying the wrong thing (because I am socially awkward and somehow my best intentions always turn my words into the worst thing a person could say, leaving everyone to wonder how I can be sooooo insensitive), and I’d love to hear from someone who knows how to behave around people who are experiencing that worst hurt of all.
I haven’t ever written a specific post about it, but hearing from so many after writing about her has really made me think aobut it more.
If it helps (and I don’t mean to sound like a broken record) everyone feels inadequate, awkward and unsure of what to say or how to help. I FEEL THIS WAY and I’ve walked the walk.
It’s because
a: Everyone is so different. What helps some does not others.
b: The last thing in the world you want to do is make something worse or more painful so many people do nothing out of feeling inadequate. This is a legitimate fear because some of the things said to grieving people can hurt very much.
(Though I always tried to keep in mind the intent and be grateful people tried to say something that would be helpful, even if it backfired.)
c: Everyone feels small and helpless in the face of something so big and wrong.
d: The parents are often a physical representation of people’s worst nightmares come true. And that can be very scary.
My rule of thumb if you don’t know what to say is to just express your sorrow that it happened.
Even better? Say something sweet and lovely about the person who was lost if you knew them. What you remember or what you loved. People grieving need those comments and memories like oxygen.
Do you think you could possibly go wrong telling Heather and Mike that Maddie has a million watt grin and sparkly eyes (because she does)that you will never forget and that you will miss?
I hope that makes it a little easier on you. I know it’s tough. xo.
Good Luck!
Heavy subject but I’m sure you will do great. I’m glad you are able to help others with your experience. xoxo
Honey, you are brilliant on radio and you have an empathetic heart. Sending you hugs full of energy.
I caught the last of your part and think you did great! That part about the chickens was a neat idea.
You did brilliantly and I love you.
Hey girl you did a super duper job! I caught it just in time and was able to listen to it in the headphones at work while I kept on doing my thing. You know, your voice sounded just like I had imagined it would :)
job well done, hon
I hope your comments went well on the talk show in support for Little Maddie.
Thanks for checking in on our blog (suggested by Headless Mom); I too have left a message for you on Bug’s page.
You are a pillar of strength!