I’m having a $50 amazon.com giveaway to make up for the fact that this is THE LONGEST POST KNOWN TO MANKIND!

March 11, 2009

Wow, what can I say?  I was all scared and ego-crushed thinking no one would have any questions to ask me. This is so long, I think that I developed carpal tunnel syndrome in one sitting from typing it all out.

Since this is so freaking long, I haven’t done one in a long time and just because I wuv you, I am having a $50 amazon.com gift certificate give away as a little reward for reading this monstrosity. It’s pretty simple: READ THE DAMN THING. PICK YOUR FAVORITE QUESTION AND ANSWER. LEAVE A COMMENT. SPREAD THE WORD AND GET DOUBLE ENTRY. (More details at the end.)

Consider it compensation for my narcissism.

I do have one more post coming with answers to two more questions. They were too long and complicated to explain briefly and this is already the length of War and Peace, so I will post the questions regarding my inactivity from The Mormon church and details about my gastric bypass in one other post.

Here ya go. You may want to crack a window and get a bowl of water. This could take some time.

What is the one thing you would do before you die? What kind of funeral would you want?

(I missed this emailed question and yeah, I am answering them all, so it’s going in. WHICH MAKES IT LONGER! MUWHA HA HA HA!) The one thing I would do before I die? Spend as much time as possible with family and people that I love. (Dude, River Phoenix went and died in ‘93 so having sex with him isn’t an option any longer. Sigh.)

I’ve actually had to plan my funeral before when I had a blood clot with my second pregnancy and I’m kind of morbid in general, so I’ve thought about it quite a bit actually: I don’t mind it being in a church. I’d want to be in soft, comfy pajamas and fuzzy socks. I don’t mind having some religious aspects to it at all-funerals are for the living and lots of people need that but don’t over do it. Mainly? I just think telling dorky stories of my life would be the most entertaining thing. I’m weird so there would be lots of material. No vocal music. (Seriously, family? You know what I am talking about. If you go with that option I WILL rise up and smite you. For reals.) Skip the family hymn-Jonathan has a million males that are amazing musicians on his side of the family and they all play guitar so I want everyone to sing “I Will” by the Beetles.  (Croshaws, you are on notice.) For my mom the congregation can sing my 2 favorite hymns: The Spirit of God and All Creatures of our God and King. Men that were important to me to be pall bearers. I would want to make sure that everyone who wants to be there could be and that they would be welcomed.

That’s it, really. OH, WAIT! BLACK ATTIRE. (Ya know, if I had control of stuff like that)

The Mormons are highly optimistic people when it comes to death. No one wears black to funerals (I totally did when we buried Matthew, though. Because I FELT like it.) I totally want full on black garb complete with veils and armbands.  And none of this “Loralee wouldn’t want us to be sad today” bullshit. I’m DEAD.  I don’t want anyone driving off a cliff or anything, and certainly I don’t want long grief or suffering, but seriously? I think that me not being um, alive anymore, n’ stuff can have a 2 hr. period of crying and mourning. Ya know?

And? Someone would totally have to figure out a way to live stream it on the internet. Heh.

And, yes. It’s know this is kind of disturbing that this is so long and detailed.

What is your occupation? Are you a SAHM? (such as myself) or a writer? or what?”

I am a SAHM. I have never really had an “occupation”. I have had “jobs” over the years, but that isn’t the same thing. I’ve been a mom since I was 21 and do not have my degree despite having a ton of credits. When I think about having a career of some kind if something happened to Jonathan, I am at a loss. I would probably spend a good deal of time throwing up my hands in the air and shrieking, “I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies, Miss Scarlett!”

The sad fact is that there is really nothing I am qualified to do. I can carry a tune, blog about my ta-tas on the internet and write amusing Tweets. That is about it. It does worry me. I would love to get my degree one day. I know my situation leaves me quite dependent and vulnerable. Suze Orman would eat me for breakfast and then pick her teeth with my spine.

“Do you puke your guts out with every pregnancy? Are you feeling better at all? Do you have babies in the hospital or in your home? Do you think this is it? Are you going to get your tubes tied?”

Yes, I puke my guts out with every pregnancy and I am backward from most women-the more pregnant I get the sicker I seem to get. It’s weird.  However, I have had a string of some good days that I am grateful for.

There is no way I could have my babies at home. I doubt any midwife would agree to home birth me because I have too many medical issues that really need to be monitored in a hospital. I also think I would personally be too nervous to home birth because of personal experiences.

I am not sure if this is “it”.  If it were a girl, YES.  We wouldn’t try for another baby to just get a girl but we are wondering how having such a big age difference for a boy will be for the little guy.  I actually would HOPE for a boy to be a friend like my two boys now. A girl would have some automatic autonomy from brothers but we worry about raising Aaron as kind of an only child. So? It depends. It’s been a very tough time for EVERYONE, so there is that to consider.  Basically? We’ll see.

“Why have we never gotten to hear any of your beautiful opera singing?!”

Mainly because I don’t have a lot of good quality clips to post. I have posted clips before but I’ll repost them. (and you will hear a groan from the long time readers of ‘DUDE! DO YOU HAVE NO OTHER CLIPS TO POST?!”. Nope. I really don’t. Sorry!)

Here is one from The Messiah. (My mic wasn’t wired into the camera, though so there are sound problems. Also, yes, there is a deaf signing chorus signing with me.)

And here is a less classical sounding duet from “Wicked” that I did with a GREAT singer from the bay area, Loralee Christiansen who I met here on this blog. I LOVE her. I call her Thing Two. (Hi, thingy!) We recorded in different states and had it edited together by her kid’s father, who did the digital instruments as well. She had never done muscial theater and I had never recorded solo in a studio. I recorded it in about 15 minutes and I was really emotional because the song means a lot to me. It was cool. She rocks. She also had a better mic. Heh. I love it because it was just a really cool collaboration with a really awesome person. She sings first (Glinda) and I’m second (Elphaba).

for-good-0001

I’ve never met her, but I feel like I have always known her.

“Being from the Logan area, can you milk a cow?”

No, and I have always wanted to. (I have a wee bit of Laura Ingalls worship goin’ on.) Also? I have always wanted to make cheese. It seems so…cheese-like and satisfying. I HAVE churned butter, though.

“Are those your eyes in the banner and if so, what color eyeshadow did you use? I love it”

Yup. Those are my eyes. That is from a photo taken on a camping trip with my awesome friend, Chelle. I wasn’t wearing any eyeshadow. I rarely do.  I wasn’t wearing ANY makeup in this picture, actually. First, I have loads of natural pigmentation in my eyelids that makes it look like I am always wearing eyeshadow. It comes in handy.  All that happened with this photo is that I kicked up the saturation level in a basic photo editor and voila!  Pretty banner photo.

Have you started nesting yet and getting a nursery ready for the baby? Because while I feel the nesting bug, I havent’ started on a nursery yet.

NO, and it is starting to overwhelm/freak me out. Because my youngest is NINE I have NOTHING. I had forgotten HOW MANY THINGS BABIES NEED.  I tried to make a list today and put my head under the covers. Lots of this is that I had to have some time to get excited when we found out it was a boy. A girl? That sucker would be decked, bowed, bustled and sparkly. However, I am excited to have this baby and have started thinking of some really cute ideas for his room. My goal is to have everything done by the first of May.

“I also want to know what are the THREE sex toys you refused to name in your earlier post. You know, I’m just curious that way”

You will just have to satisfy yourself that their names are  “Naughty” “Naughtier” and “Dear god, NOT THAT ONE”.

“Would you mind elaborating on your blood clotting disorder? And if so, has the disorder changed the way you live your life?”

Sure. I have Heterozygous Leiden V factor,

It causes my blood to clot quicker and more often than normal blood.  I developed a very large Deep Vein Thrombosis after my 2nd pregnancy and was hospitalized for a month and had a very long recovery. It almost killed me. My leg is permanently swollen from damaged veins.

Day to day, this doesn’t normally play into my life. If I clot again, I will be on blood thinners for life, but for now I don’t take any medication on a daily basis. I do have to watch how much I lay and sit without stretching and airplane and car trips, etc. The biggest change in my life happens when I am pregnant because my risk goes up.  I am also higher risk because I have clotted before and have a compromised circulatory system.

Over all the worst part of this disorder by FAR is the fear it causes.  I have been dealing with it a long time, but having a potential time bomb that could go off in your body any second is not an easy thing to live with.  I’m more afraid when I’m pregnant by a significant degree. It freaks me out a lot but I’m doing my best to cope with it  and with the resulting anxiety with the help of my doctor.

*Yes, I was on injections of heparin during this pregnancy. Long story short? I have severe needle phobia and the physical and mental side effects of trying to inject myself with twice a day were causing more worry and issues for my doctor than going without them. (My pulse rate and BP skyrocketed) So…I’m off of them. I have clotted before and am hyper aware of ANY sign of trouble. I am going to try to do it again the month before, as that is the time of highest worry and I will be on thinners in the hospital and a pill form of thinners for several months afterwards (which is also a time I am most likely to clot)

“How does it feel to win the Hot Momma Award?”

Damn good. All barfy, gestating pregnant women in PJ’s should be bestowed with one. Thanks for the support.

“I want to know why you don’t have CommentLuv and twitter id plugins”

Because I am technically lame.  When I tinker with my site no good happens. Once when I was playing with some html I shut down the power grid of San Fransisco and started randomly flushing Dick Chaney’s toilet.

“I’ve been following you on Twitter for a while and have NO idea why I have not been to your blog before!? What is wrong with me?”

There is nothing wrong with you. There are so many awesome blogs out there. SO FREAKING MANY. I’m one small fish swimming in a big, talent-filled ocean. But it’s lovely you’re here. Hi!

“How many blogs do you follow in reader/blogines/etc?” and “Yeah! And why isn’t my blog one of them?!”

Question 1: None. I used to have HUNDREDS. My entire life seemed to be playing catch up with blog reading and commenting. While I love reading blogs? It was eating my life up. So, I did something rather radical last year and deleted my Google Reader. I mainly keep up with people on Twitter and some FaceBook. I do still read blogs but it is much less, far fewer (mainly due to sucky memory), I lurk way more and it is a more random and organic process for me. It’s really random and the way I get to the blogs I end up visiting can be varied and for many different reasons. (And? The size/popularity of a blog doesn’t matter to me regarding what I read. I know all girls say size doesn’t matter but I REALLY mean it. Heh.)

Question 2: Because I suck, have anxiety and have turned into a hermit in pretty much all ways including the internet and I tend to get overwhelmed really easily and feel like my brain is going to melt/explode.  It is so not personal. Besides, I smell like barf. You wouldn’t want me stinking up your blog anyway because you are pretty and smell like flowers. Really: It’s not you, it’s me.

“How are you enjoying your third of a cow?”

So much I don’t know if I can ever buy any other kind of meat. Even from that awesome meat store I visited in Minnesota with Gretchen. (My inlaws bought a fresh side of a cow from a local farm and we bought some of them. The meat tastes SO MUCH BETTER it is insane.)

“What did your son supposedly do, and what did the mom have to say about it?”

I got a screaming phone call from a mother saying my son punched her son and gave him a bloody lip. HE? Was home sick all day with me.  It suckasuckasuckaSUCKED a duck six ways from Sunday, my friends. She? Is proabably NOT going to help my phone anxiety.

“How long have you been blogging (And why don’t I know this)?”

Question 1: Since August 2005. I had a blog but I blew it up after 2 months trying to change the templet from Blogger Minima Black. The title was, “THE ULTIMATE DRAMA: LORALEE’S LIFE”. Needless to say, it is a gift from God that it died, no?   Looney Tunes was born November 10th, 2005.

Question 2: Obviously you don’t stalk me enough. Slacker.

“I just started following your blog and have read a bit into your archives but i don’t recall reading what your hubby does and how he fits in around there.”

I actually get a lot of people asking if I am *actually* married.  Yup, I am.  Jonathan is a total computer geek, basically. He used to head the IT department of a software company, but in September he turned his position into a contract and went full time into a tech business he started with his brothers 2 years ago. They outsource to small and medium sized businesses that need enterprise IT services and software and web development. (He totally told me what to say.) They have 10 employees and it’s doing well. Downside: My suckass insurance problem. Yippee.

Jon doesn’t read my blog (unless someone at work outs something naughty I’ve written.) He is not proud of me for it, etc. He really just thinks it’s a “colossal waste of time” (HIS quote. I just asked him) and he does not like me to write about him.  So, I usually don’t write about him at all. He has to REALLY piss me off to land on these pages without his express consent. My main rule is to keep the subject to me as much as I can. Less chance of making someone mad.

You have a private jet piloted by Andy Samberg (who can fly AND make awesome digital shorts in this hypothetical situation) ready to take you anywhere you want to go; where are you flying?”

Such an obvious choice: SCOTLAND.  And? He is TOTALLY wearing a kilt. The traditional way.

“Have you ever lived anywhere besides Utah? If you could live anywhere–being far or close from family/friends magically not an issue, employment opportunities/$ also magically supplied–where would it be?”

I have had extended visits outside of Utah but have lived nowhere else. I would LOVE to though. Not doing it while free and unattached is a huge regret of mine. If there was no budget or families concerned? I WOULD LIVE ALL OVER THE WORLD.  There is so much I want to see and experience. SO MUCH. I want to eat figs on the Greek isles, walk the hills of Northern Italy, sail on the lakes of Maine, dine at a Parisian bistro on French bread and cheese, soak up the beauty of the highlands in Scotland, see the Northern Lights and fish for salmon in Alaska…the list? She is ENDLESS. I have been so starved for variety and diversity I crave it more than I can tell you.  (The hubs? Loves Logan. So…I’ll just have to keep doing my best to get out of it every so often.)

“If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be?

Probably one of my male friends. I totally think it would be interesting to have sex and experience whacking off as a guy.  God just did NOT give females enough of a YEE HAW! area if you ask me.

(If you hadn’t clarified a person, I would have picked my cat, Wilbur. Sleeping, eating and whoring all day. Sounds good to me.)

“What IS the long story involved with your college credits. What were you majoring in and why did you never receive a degree?”

Mainly? I had no plan and was really stupid at the beginning of college.  I took what I wanted to. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and I had a full music scholarship most of the time I was in school.  I also changed majors A LOT. I was about a year away from my final choice when I had the blood clot from the birth of my son. When you almost die and you have a 3wk old? Suddenly spending time as a mom seems (and is) much more important. At least to me.

I hope to go back one day and finish.

“Why did your first marriage break up?”

This is going to be brief because I consider this “Things I will not blog about”.  In a few words? Because I was young and the marriage should not have happened. We were so wrong for each other. He really deserved a better wife. It was also a relationship that was a rebound from a serious fracture in a serious relationship. He was a good guy, we were just not compatible, so young, so poor…and I take all the blame for the dissolving of it. It was not a nasty divorce at all, but it SUCKED. I should have done it sooner, but I found out I was pregnant a couple of months into it. We were married a total of 2.5 yrs. Even though I knew firmly it was the right decision and it was the best divorce you could hope for it was horrible. Divorce always is. He is much happier now. We had a great kid so it was worth it.

“Since I’m moving back to SLC will we meet? Do you even remember who I am? Can I cry and touch your baby belly? okay that last one is just creepy….sorry…”

I totally remember who you are, Holly. (See suckage explanation above) and I would love to get together in SLC. Just drop me a line when you can. I am all for belly pats and crying! This kid has been damn hard to get here and a REALLY long time in coming.

“My question? Are you going to Blogher and will I get to hug you and kiss you and completely annoy your beyond belief until you hide behind the planters to avoid me?”

Yup! I am booked for BlogHer. Chicago in July, baby! I am volunteering as Le Awesome Mic Wrangler again. I totally hope you accost me because while it may be hard to believe I AM AN ANXIOUS FREAK underneath this extroverted-as-all-get-out exterior.  And? I have a list of people to make out with and you are totally on it.

“Who is your favorite sister? (Yes, this is a trick question.) Wait, screw that. Who is your favorite sibling? ha!”

Linny, this is such an easy question. NOOCY.  DUH!  (You didn’t say inlaw siblings couldn’t count. HEE)

And now for “The Amy” questions. One of my oldest and dearest friends who survived rooming with me for 2 years in college. (I obviously need to talk to her more, huh?)

If you could start college again as an 18 year old, what would you do differently?

Have a plan

Do you believe in karma or good vs. bad luck?

Somewhat. I have fairly grody luck but I also make staggeringly bad life choices.  So…ya know.

What’s the secret to great eyebrows?

Have huge Burt from Seasame Street ones like I do so you can wax to any desired shape. Groom but don’t pluck the hell out of them.

Is the grow-in period hell (from your nether-bits waxing experience?)

No. Just exfoliate and you are fine.  It took about a month for noticeable growth and I wish I had kept up with it. (I’m still much more thinned. Heh.)

Do you think you’ll ever have a career (other than chasing kids) ?

I would love to say yes, but I don’t know. I’d love to be a speech pathologist, but it is not likely. I would settle for getting a damn degree.

Who are the three people you dream about most often?

A friend, a little girl and Matthew. Most of my dreams are not good. Or they are really great and then? I wake up.

Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

I have no idea. I certainly did not think I would be where I am 15 years ago, so no clue. I just hope I have happiness and peace and muscle tone that doesn’t resemble headcheese.

Do you feel guilty about not being active at church? What’s your secret?

Of course I have guilt. I probably always will.

How often do you visit Matthew’s grave?

Usually just on holidays and change of seasons. It’s too damn hard. Sometimes I go because I ache to be near him, but it takes a toll on me.

Do your kids read your blog? How about other family members (other than Nooncy!)?

They sneak occasionally but they know I do not let them read it because I have a potty mouth and talk about grown up things. They BEG me to write about them though. They love it.   My parents and brother and sister also read. (I got quite an earful about my Brazilian wax. Believe me. FYI-Oprah thinks Brazilian Waxing is “Gross”.)

Why are we never EVER going to live in the same town?

Because you guys suck and moved are realistic that your husband can’t do what he really wants to professionally in this little town so he had to be all lame and get a job with Google. (P.S. I still TOTALLY think he should wear a Utah State sweatshirt on casual Friday. Who needs MIT when you have USU?!)

Would you ever compete on American Idol?

Did you LISTEN to those clips? Not even remotely my style or something I could pull off. Plus? Simon is a douchebag.

What’s the trashiest TV show you love?

Real Housewives of the OC, New York and Atlanta. TRAINWRECK!

Who was your most psycho roommate ever?

Dude. Melissa. Duh.

Who from the past would you love to run into so they can see how HOT you are now?

I pretty much have already done that. It was highly satisfying.

When are you going to tell the world this whole blog is written by a Las Vegas security guard with time on his hands?

I prefer to be called a Security Control Officer, thanks very much.

Are we still friends after me asking a million questions?

Of course. How many times in the last 15 years have you listened to me about my totally complicated life. Yeah. You still win.

Who is you favorite childrens book character?

I have so many. I totally wanted to be one of The Boxcar Children, though.

How often do you use the word “umbrage” in real life?

Not often enough. It is a totally rad word.

Loralee, my question is which of the above questions made you laugh?

Loads of them did. I was honored to be asked so many.  (The sex toy question was my favorite answer, though. GRIN.)

THE FREAKING END.

_____

OMG, ARE ALL OF YOU STILL ALIVE??????

I tried to make them thoughtful and entertaining and AS SHORT AS POSSIBLE.

So, here is the drill.

LEAVE ME A COMMENT TELLING ME WHAT YOUR FAVORITE QUESTION AND ANSWER IS and you will be entered to win a $50 gift certificate to Amazon.com. (Please at least try to sound convincing that you actually read this thing. :P)

If you trackback, link, tweet or post about this giveaway YOU WILL GET TWO ENTRIES. You have to make me aware of it, though and please include the fact it is a giveaway! Thanks!

Comments close midnight (MST) SUNDAY, MARCH 15th. I will announce Monday, March 16th.

Stumble it!

146 Responses to “I’m having a $50 amazon.com giveaway to make up for the fact that this is THE LONGEST POST KNOWN TO MANKIND!”

  • [...] See the rest here:  I’m having a $50 amazon.com giveaway to make up for the fact that this is THE LONGEST POST KNOWN T… [...]

  • Maria says:

    I love that you don’t read blogs, and you’re wall WHAT? Ballsy, woman. And lovely. And I will certainly approach you at BlogHer all nervous and spazzy and whatnot.

  • loralee says:

    Dude. Spam comments don’t count!! ;P

  • cc says:

    1. I had to Google “umbrage.”
    2. I don’t use plug-ins either. I had a count down to BlogHer ‘08 button that was up for months afterwards until SAJ got it fixed for me.
    3. I Twittered it. http://twitter.com/auntiecc/status/1310021846

  • califmom says:

    I actually have 2 favorites, so I’ll rank them. My most favorite was the “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be?” question, actually the answer.

    My other fav was the eyebrows, cuz I wish I had the bushy brows so I could fashion a shape other than a hyphen.

  • Native MN reader says:

    My fave question is definitely “what person would you rather be?” I’ve always wondered what it must feel like for a man during sex and ask my husband “how does that feel?” often. I guess it’s something I’ll never know but it still makes me wonder what it’s like!

    Thanks for the great read. Can’t wait to hear that baby Aaron has arrived safely!

    Just another native MN reader!

  • Heather R. says:

    Omg I have to pick just one favorite?
    I’d have to say,

    “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be?”

    I soooo want to be a guy for a day just to see what it’s like having all that equipment swinging around.

  • Heather R. says:

    Hey she got two!

    I have to say my second is the

    “How’s it feel to get the hot momma award?”

    Only because I asked it and you actually answered!

  • Ha! My favorite is the cow milking question. :D

  • Lauren W. says:

    Ok… I would have to say that I am most interested in the “feeling guilty for being inactive”. I say live your own life! Dont let guilt hold you back. If yo wanted to be there you would be : ) Otherwise, enjoy your free sundays!

    I too am inactive for 8 years now, and my Dad was a Bishop.

  • My favorite is totally your favorite children’s book because I was OBSESSED with the boxcar children growing up.

  • Pando says:

    “Who from the past would you love to run into so they can see how HOT you are now?”
    <–Was totally my favorite!

  • Shelby says:

    My favorite was the one about why your first marriage broke up. I like the fact that you appreciate having your first child so much that a horrible marriage was worth it. :)

  • witchypoo says:

    Trading lives with. The first answer was hilarious. Wilbur? Genius.

  • Vic says:

    My favourite answer would be to ‘what is your occupation’, because that’s quite like me, and I thought I was the only one in this mommy-blogger world.
    Of course the question has to be ‘can you milk a cow?’. What I really want to know, is why not?

  • Holly says:

    obviously my question is my favorite cause DUDE, I teared up at the thought. Secondly, I like the fact you want to milk a cow. I have a bit of Laura Ingalls worship going on too.

  • Deb says:

    I love your answer to the trading places question. More yee-haw would be an awesome experiment.

  • Stephanie says:

    Sweet! You answered MY question! And it was the first one! That made my day, :) And I also heart the Real Housewives…They are ridiculous and I love them.

  • Carrisa says:

    I like the one about your eyebrows because:

    a) I’ve just been blogging about eyebrows
    b) your answer was funny
    c) your answer was also informative. too many women need to just put down the tweezers already, you’re not going to have anything left!

  • Tasses says:

    Fave? The last one. Because that damned thing was getting waaaaaay too long. Sorry, feeling kinda’ snarky this morn. :-)

  • Chasity says:

    My favorite was the explanation of your eyes in the banner on your blog. I’m so jealous of the fact that you didn’t have make up on. In order for my eyes to look like they have eye shadow on, I have to use so much my lids get stress fractures from the weight.

  • Poppy Buxom says:

    My favorite was the eyebrows question. Because I always suspected that women with incredible, enviable eyebrows (Madonna, Liz Hurley, you) had to groom them with gallons of hot wax and a weed-whacker. Now I feel better about my wimpy, arch-free, blink-and-you’ll-miss-them brows.

  • Barbara says:

    How often do you use the word “umbrage” in real life?

    Not often enough. It is a totally rad word.

    I agree. I love that question, because, well, just because. I always think of weird things like that in the middle of something else.

  • MacKenzie says:

    I liked the question about the phone conversation about bloody lips, just because I too have phone anxiety and feel a lot less ridiculous about it when other people say then do to.

    Oh, and I totally wanted to be a boxcar child when I was younger. In one of my many neighborhoods (we moved a lot), there was a big tree by a creek where little wild onions grew. We all pretended we were orphans living there, surviving on grass and wild onions. It was super fun.

  • Carrie says:

    LOVE the 1/3 of a cow question/answer. That is just something you dont see discussed very often on blogs these days.

  • sandi says:

    Girl you rocked the house with the wicked song!

    Wicked is my Favorite Musical! I am so sad it took off to tour, leaving LA without it. I did enjoy it five times in the short two and half years I have lived here. I LOVE IT!

    Your voice is amazing. I totally got the goosebumps listening to it! LOVE IT!!!!

  • pgoodness says:

    Who is you favorite childrens book character?

    I have so many. I totally wanted to be one of The Boxcar Children, though.
    ————-
    Dude! I loved those books! I even bought them for my son before he was even born (I hope to read them to him some day!!)

  • Connie says:

    I really enjoyed knowing if you could milk a cow! LOL!

    And now I can get my children out of their cribs…they have been screaming for the last 20 minutes while I read this.

    Have a great day!

  • tmc says:

    This one’s my favourite:

    “Where do you see yourself in 15 years?

    I have no idea. I certainly did not think I would be where I am 15 years ago, so no clue. I just hope I have happiness and peace and muscle tone that doesn’t resemble headcheese.”

  • Carmen says:

    My favorite, of course, was my own. I’m SO delighted that I’ll get to bother you beyond belief this summer!

    I’m in massive need of Amazon! Pick me, pick me!

  • Angella says:

    I love that you deleted your Reader. I can’t (for work purposes), but I DID organize it and created a folder called “Mark All As Read” :)

  • My favorite was listening to your duet with Loralee (thing 2). Now I’m bummed as all get out that you weren’t able to make it down to the Croshaw’s music-event-thingy couple years ago when WE were maybe going to sing it! I’ve heard you sing MANY times, and I was still blown away with this recording!

    Also, you didn’t mention that your cousin-in-law-in-law reads your blog under the “does your family read your blog”!

  • Dianna says:

    I liked the question about American Idol and the eyebrow one. I always have eyebrow difficulties…

  • Louise says:

    My favourite question was the Andy Samberg one, because I love him, and I love kilts, and I would love him in a kilt.

    Also I will be twittering this (username: jeezlouise) :)

  • Kerry says:

    my favorite comment is:

    “How often do you visit Matthew’s grave?

    Usually just on holidays and change of seasons. It’s too damn hard. Sometimes I go because I ache to be near him, but it takes a toll on me.”

    Because my first born child died at 5 month, his name was Matthew, and we just took our children to visit his grave (first time ever for them because it is in another State).

  • Erin Taylor says:

    Eh…. I already knew all this! hee hee… actually, I’m not entering the contest, I can’t take the pressure!

  • Kemi says:

    I liked the sex toy answer. (Does that make me naughty? Feel free to NOT answer that question.) :D

    I actually snorted.

    I also LOVED your recording. I’ve never heard you sing, and it was amazing.

  • Annika says:

    My favorite is “Is this it?” and your honesty about worrying that a boy will fit into the family differently than a girl might.

  • AJ says:

    I’d have to say the one about your occupation and the puking question are a tie. I liked them because those are the things I have in commone with you. I actually started college with a plan but that plan kept changing. I left college before graduating but had tons of credits,almost enough for a degree. I had a habit of signing up for classes that looked interesting even though they may have not fitted into my current major choice. So, I had about three semesters left for my last choice for a major but tons of credits left outside the box. I never met anybody else who did stuff like that until now.

    I also threw up daily during all five of my full term pregancies. Not a fun thing to have in common but it makes me relate.

  • Elizabeth says:

    My favorite was the question of whether those are your eyes in the banner. I’ve wondered the same thing many times, and now I need wonder no more…

    You’re a beauty, girl!

  • ali says:

    okay. dude. seriously. i have to tell the husband that you got a side of a cow. he is DYING to get one.

  • Michelle says:

    My favorite question/answer was about getting sick during your pregnancy. I swear the first one, I puked once. The second, the entire first trimester and the third was one giant puke-a-thon..even brushing my teeth at 4pm made me hurl. Amazingly enough, I managed to consume enough Push-Up-Pops (my guilty craving) during that last pregnancy to birth a 9lb girl after having two boys.

  • Jenny says:

    My favorite question/answer hasn’t been answered yet- I guess it will be in the next post, but of these questions, my favorite would have to be about your clotting disorder. Random, yes, but I have the same one!!!! OMG- me and you are rare birds- two long waisted mormon girls with Factor V- holla!!!! hee hee :)
    But seriously, I had 5 miscarriages and I had to do twice daily injections of Lovenox during my pregnancies to keep from clotting up the placentas. Youre not on anything while pregnant?? suprising…
    I tried to buy private health insurance and they laughed in my face! So I totally get that one.

  • I am a new reader here, so this post was very satisfying to me. I finally came to visit after hearing so much about you from my friend, Jane, from What About Mom. I am intrigued by several Q&As – the third of a cow, your son(s), and the fact that you will be at Blogher. I would love to go, and now have one more reason. Thanks for sharing.

  • Miss Grace says:

    My faves was that you’re going BlogHer, cuz I AM TOO! And yeah, excitement. See you in July :)

  • BOXCAR CHILDREN! I always totally wanted to be one of them. Did you read other books in the series, or just the first book?

  • Jen says:

    My absolute fav was the ‘can you milk a cow? I married a dairy farmer from the heart of the midwest and was asked this so many times. I would tell them that when he was on milking duty I would sit in a lawn chair in the dairy parlor and flip thru Glamour or Cosmopolitan and chit chat with him. I am sure many bets were made we’d never last, yet here we are still married almost 7 years later. And I have still never milked a cow thank you very much!!!

  • Erin says:

    My favorite Q&A was about whether you lived anywhere besides Utah. I liked it because it is the exact opposite of my experience. I moved to Utah in 2007 after a lot of other places, and I NEVER want to leave. Living here makes me want to have kids, just because it’d be so fun to raise them here. Sometimes I’m jealous of my friends who are from here originally. I often wonder whether I’d have been able to leave Utah had I grown up here.

    I guess our perspectives compliment each other. Your answer made me happy I found this place after some running around. But I think you’re also lucky because you’ve had more time in a place with SOO much beauty and adventure in our backyard! It’ll be so fun for you to get your new kid into the mountains and deserts and all.

  • Sra says:

    I like the question about who of your friends you would be if you could be someone else, and how you would choose to be a guy so you could see what guy sex is like. I think that’s really funny. It’s also one of those things we can never really know, unless we get a sex change, and even then, who can say if the sex is the same as it would be if naturally born a guy?

  • Janice says:

    My favorite q/a was:
    Who is you favorite childrens book character?

    I have so many. I totally wanted to be one of The Boxcar Children, though.

    ME TOO!!!!

    And just for the record, I loved reading this and completely forgot about the whole drawing thing until the end and was like OH YEAH! LOL.

  • Carolyn G says:

    My favorite question is what’s the best thing for great eyebrows. I have crappy eyebrows so I really can’t give a good answer but I want the secret!!

  • loralee says:

    (I have sooooo many things I want to say to some of these but I am trying not to throw off the count. Y’all are making me laugh. For reals.)

    @Jenny I was on meds during pregnancy but it was NOT going well. So, I posted a clarification because I had a few people read that and ask for an update on the same thing.

    Also?I missed an emailed question about what kind of funeral I would want (Fascinating question, actually. But, I am kind of morbid, so…ya know.). I am answering ALL of them, so I couldn’t leave out the one. SO, I stuck it at the top. Thanks for the participation folks.

  • Isabel says:

    I loved the Q/A about your first marriage. It makes me feel more “normal” to know I’m not the only one with a previously failed marriage!

  • Rachael says:

    I liked the question about your banner because it’s just so pretty and I love to look at it. Also the one about who you dream about most because that’s just interesting.

  • Lena says:

    I loved the one about the blog really being writen by a Security Guard. I think that is awesome. And I would still love it if it was.

    I am posting: http://www.lenaenglish.blogspot.com

  • loralee says:

    @Rachel

    I left off the most interesting one, actually. I have a recurring dream that I am on the Dr.Phil show and it DOES NOT GO WELL.

    He pretty much looks at my life and just keeps saying, ‘ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!” repeatedly.

    That bald little man freaks me out.

  • Kemi says:

    Okay, so now you added the funeral question, THAT’S my new favorite answer. :)

  • Deanna says:

    I liked ready about your first husband. I’ve also made a lot of bad choices in my life and have struggled getting to where I’m at today. And there’s very little that I would change!

  • Susan says:

    “Who from the past would you love to run into so they can see how HOT you are now?” I dream about this and that is so awsome that you got to do it!!

  • I loved the “Why haven’t we gotten to hear you singing” and you posted the duet. Very awesome!

  • Jennifer A says:

    I love the 1/3 of a cow question, totally missed that post. My in-laws used to get a 1/2 cow and let us shop in their freezer. And also, I thought I was the only one who planned her funeral out so my family cannot sneak in “On Eagles Wings.” Its a Catholic thing.
    I’m going to BlogHer too. Look for the woman who just chopped off all her hair trying to be trendy. I have no clue what color it will be by July.

  • Katie says:

    I read every word of this post, but my favorite q/a was the occupation one at the beginning because of your Gone with the Wind Quote.

    “I don’t know nothin’ about birthin’ no babies, Miss Scarlett!”

    That slays me!!! Just yesterday, I was just thinking about the first time you wrote it. My husband thinks that reading blogs is a colossal waste of time, so I tried coming up with a way to tell him about it without referencing blogs, but I ended up coming clean. He didn’t think it was too funny. I think that saying this in public would be the all time most funny thing ever.

  • Corrie R says:

    My favorite was “Would you mind elaborating on your blood clotting disorder? And if so, has the disorder changed the way you live your life?” because I feel that everyone needs to be informed about different illnesses…particularly the ‘invisible’ ones so that the world can be a little more sensitive when you ‘don’t look sick’ but really are.

  • Roxy Cross says:

    OMG This is longer than your blog about the worst day of your life, which is a life changing experience in the reading. We will meet someday, oh yes we will. for one thing, I live closer! Ogden, so more likely. Off to RT this! Ciao Bella, Roxy

  • magoo's mom says:

    Wow! Ok, so totally with you on the I want to be a man for a day. Cuz really, it would be great to know how it feels and figure out exactly how their minds work ( or don’t depending on the day!). Also, I live in WI, the nations dairyland, and i can’t milk a cow either. Adding that to my things to do…. :o)

  • Sharon says:

    Do you mind if Canadians enter? I’ve bought stuff off of Amazon.com using a gift certificate before, so I know that it does work for those of us up here in the Great White North.

    If so, my favourite was the “where would you live if you could live anywhere” question. I want to see a lot of the places you mentioned (especially Italy!). I love traveling, and always love to hear of people’s adventures, and where they want to go. Travel is awesome!

  • falwyn says:

    Fun. (Oh and THANK YOU for posting the mp3 of your duet… I am squirrelling it away for my music player.)

    “Do you think you’ll ever have a career (other than chasing kids) ?”
    Sure. Some people tell me I should do portrait photography. If I had to have a real “day job” I’d like it to be sign language interpreting. And of course I want to write novels.

    I’m tweetering this. :)

  • Laurie says:

    I like the question about visiting your son’s grave. I feel such a connection when I visit family at the cemetery, and the others in my household just don’t get it.

  • JoeInVegas says:

    I liked the umbridge question best, the answer was rather plain though, I like random stuff like that. The sex toys one had potential but you totally blew it there.

  • Michelle says:

    ““Why have we never gotten to hear any of your beautiful opera singing?!”

    Mainly because I don’t have a lot of good quality clips to post. I have posted clips before but I’ll repost them. (and you will hear a groan from the long time readers of ‘DUDE! DO YOU HAVE NO OTHER CLIPS TO POST?!”. Nope. I really don’t. Sorry!)

    Here is one from The Messiah. (My mic wasn’t wired into the camera, though so there are sound problems. Also, yes, there is a deaf signing chorus signing with me.)

    And here is a less classical sounding duet from “Wicked” that I did with a GREAT singer from the bay area, Loralee Christiansen who I met here on this blog. I LOVE her. I call her Thing Two. (Hi, thingy!) We recorded in different states and had it edited together by her kid’s father, who did the digital instruments as well. She had never done muscial theater and I had never recorded solo in a studio. I recorded it in about 15 minutes and I was really emotional because the song means a lot to me. It was cool. She rocks. She also had a better mic. Heh. I love it because it was just a really cool collaboration with a really awesome person. She sings first (Glinda) and I’m second (Elphaba).

    for-good-0001″

    This question because I asked it! I’m so glad you posted this. Is it weird that I put it on my iPod? It is beautiful, it has cleared up a lot of what I thought your voice it would sound like :) It exceeded my expectations.

    Thank you so much, Loralee!

    PS (I know you’re a fan of those) Also, I’ve always wondered what your policy with your facebook is. Do you only add people you know it person..or…

  • kittygutz says:

    I won’t lie – I just scanned your post. That’s what internet readers do and the bolding of the questions helped a lot.

    But I would like to know, who covers their face up like that when they’re camping? Was it cold? Were there giant mosquitoes?

  • Alison says:

    Well mine of course, for sheer thrill of being on someone’s blog. But non-selfishly: serious question–explanation of your first marriage & breakup; humour–that you are really a Security Control Officer in LV.

  • Pink says:

    the funeral question is my favorite because you go into such detail and it actually makes sense.

    but i have a question – since we get to be all in black (thank you cause i look fabulous in black. one of the few times my paleness comes in handy.) and wear veils and stuff, does that mean i get to throw myself on your casket and wail like a total drama queen about how you were taken to early and stuff like that? and then turn around and smile really big and say just kidding and play a really inappropriate song like i’m too sexy or something like that?

  • Cate says:

    Ok, I read all of them and liked the one where you mentioned the other Loralee. I played the song from “Wicked” while I red the rest of your answers. That was a great song! Good job!

  • Kerri Anne says:

    I’m totally biased toward my question and your answer because Andy Samberg in a traditional kilt? Why has SNL not done that yet?

    (I also feel like I learned a ton about you today, which is hey! fun!)

  • Plain Jame says:

    Of course I liked all the answers, but I liked the “stay at home mom” answer the best because I can totally relate. I have a ton of credits, no degree, and am 25 weeks pregnant with #3. I also liked how honest you were about your first marriage.
    WORD!

  • “I also want to know what are the THREE sex toys you refused to name in your earlier post. You know, I’m just curious that way”

    You will just have to satisfy yourself that their names are “Naughty” “Naughtier” and “Dear god, NOT THAT ONE”.

    DEFINITELY MY FAVORITE!! HAHAHA!! LMAO. I can relate.

  • Hillary says:

    My fave was the one about your banner. I always assumed those were your eyes (they’re gorgeous, by the way).

  • PsychMamma says:

    Without a doubt, my favorite was:

    “How does it feel to win the Hot Momma Award?”

    “Damn good. All barfy, gestating pregnant women in PJ’s should be bestowed with one.”

    Because it is so, SO true!! (Congratulations on the award BTW!)

  • Bridge says:

    Who is you favorite childrens book character?

    I also loved the Boxcar children. My answer in childhood to this question would have been Laura Ingalls. But that’s because I didn’t know about Ginny Weasley when I was a child. Ginny wins now. Hands down.

  • Molly says:

    I AM AN ANXIOUS FREAK underneath this extroverted-as-all-get-out exterior.

    holy crap that describes me to a T!!!!! like literally. I am the peppiest friendliest person you will meet. I’m also nuts. and SO anxious. love the zoloft!

    i like the “do you barf your brains out with every pregnancy” cuz that’s one of my BIGGEST fears about being pregnant.

    seriously, I’m 20 and I have anxiety about morning sickness. and holycrapwhatificantgetpregnant. and more importantly omg what if no one wants to marry me. it’s like “yo brain. chill”

  • Summer says:

    DUDE! I am so excited to be rooming with you at BlogHer! I feel like I totally know you now after reading all of this.
    For not being good on the technical side or whatever I think your blog is awesome and I am stunned to find out you have no makeup on in the graphic at the top! I need to learn fun photo-shoppy type stuff like that!

  • That you admitted to loving Real Housewives of OC because GUILTY!

  • fidget says:

    “Would you mind elaborating on your blood clotting disorder? And if so, has the disorder changed the way you live your life?”

    I can relate. I have MTHFR, varicose veins and my aunt died of a pulmonary embolism. I had an “event” during my 1st (successful)pregnancy which now looks like it may have been a blood clot in my heart. It self resolved, i guess since i’m not dead. Stupid doctors thought I was too young to have a clot so they didnt even look.

  • Gretchen says:

    MY question – of course!

    Went to the meat market today… And they carried it to my car in the -2 degree weather!

  • Amy says:

    My favourite question was. “How are you enjoying your third of a cow?”

    Third-of-a-cow is an excellent phrase.

  • little red says:

    I’m going with where I’m going to be in 15 years. I want to have 2 or 3 kids, a golden retriever, and a bunch of fish. We will have probably been around the world and back, and still movin’ and groovin’ with the AF.

    Seriously though. Do we ever know where we’re going to be? haha. Love ya chica!

  • Mariah says:

    I need to not read blogs for a while too– I waste SO much time. Thanks for the answers

  • Joel says:

    My favorite? Hands down the sex toy one.

    I have much too active an imagination and have been wracking my brain what “naughtier” is. I think I have a fair idea what “Dear God, NOT THAT ONE” is though.

  • Jon Dalton says:

    Honestly I am finding it hard to choose a favorite question, mostly because I died laughing at most of your small remarks. Let’s be friends ok, even though you’re a hermit I don’t judge well… maybe a little judgment but nothing too harsh (my standards sorry you get no say). I was just entertained to get to know you so well by a chance passing via good ‘ole twitter. OH! My favorite was definitely you saving my ass in showing me how to RT. Also, Logan is cool but the world is cooler…bug husband until he cracks, women do have that power!

  • TexasRed says:

    These are all great! I’d have to vote for: Who is you favorite childrens book character?

    Just because it was the one that made me want to say “me! me! I wanted to be them, too!”

  • Aunt Amy says:

    I feel so special…blush…

  • Erin W. says:

    I’m not particularly concerned with the giveaway (don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a free $50 if you wanna give it to me, but I won’t get butthurt if you don’t. heh.)

    But I did want to comment… For some reason the childrens book character question was cool… I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately myself, and I’d have to say that mine is the Chicken Little spoof character in the Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales. I desperately need to get that book for my daughters… It’s my first memory of my warped sense of humor – or at least my awareness of it.

    Anyway – I enjoyed this post. It’s always nice to hear more about the people you read/watch/etc. (I’m a huge fan of Kevin Smith’s Q&A DVDs too!)

  • divrchk says:

    I love the question and answer about karma.

  • KYouell says:

    Enter me, enter me!

    My favorite is a tie: I really like the answer about your planned funeral (because I have also planned mine) and I love the Suze Orman line. I did read all the way to the end and I’m off to retweet now, because this wasn’t *that* long and it was really good.

    I have to admit that I’ve only been here before to read your side of meeting Jessica and then (here or somewhere) to read about Matthew. I’m pretty sure that was what lead me to the photographers’ site where they donate their time to take photos of babies so that the parents will have something other than NICU Polaroids to remember them by. God, I loved that. We are lucky (so far) that our son has done well in recovering from his surgeries, but it was such a comfort to know that group is out there. I immediately sent the link to our wedding photographer because there wasn’t anyone in their database for the Livingston, MT area (that’s where he’s based out of) and there should be a photographer in every single city & town to do that good work.

    Sorry for climbing on my soapbox in your comments, but hell, there’s so many no one’s going to read mine so I let loose. ;-)

  • Amy J says:

    Linny’s was my favorite :-)

  • Talina says:

    You know, my favorite was the psyco roommate question and I am rather bummed you didn’t go in to more detail about why she was psyco…

    I had a crazy roommate myself, she was the first and last roommate I’ll ever have, thank goodness.

    She was all mormon girl but her greasy boyfriend slept over every night on my new couch and looked at gay porn on my new computer… Good times.

  • seven says:

    I like the eyebrow one…

  • Katie Ann says:

    The one with the links to your performances; I’ve actually tried searching for you on You Tube to no avail, so yay.

  • Melly says:

    wow.

    I liked your answer to the question “How long have you been blogging (And why don’t I know this)?”

    Answer was: Obviously you don’t stalk me enough. Slacker.

    Cause it’s something I would have said and it made me laugh. Sometimes I think comments like this means we could be friends and then I remember how long your posts are.
    :)

  • grandmamarie says:

    I like black at funerals, too. When my mom died, I went and bought two dresses – a black one and a purple one, thinking I’d wear one to the viewing and the other to the funeral. Well, the night of the viewing I wore the black one and a cousin-in-law whispered, “Black is so drab. Maybe you could wear something a little cheerier tomorrow”. What!?! At the time I wasn’t gutsy enough to say, “Are you kiddin’ me? Maybe you didn’t know that MY MOM DIED RECENTLY! I’m not feeling very cheery!” But I kind of wish I had!

  • Mimi says:

    I absolutely love this question and adore the answer even more:

    “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be? ”

    Probably one of my male friends. I totally think it would be interesting to have sex and experience whacking off as a guy. God just did NOT give females enough of a YEE HAW! area if you ask me.

  • Heather says:

    Being an exmo myself I liked the funeral question and answer :)

  • Cameron says:

    Wow…I am so very jealous. The only question I ever get from my readers is, “Why do you keep writing this crap?”

  • Mama Bub says:

    I love your answer to the funeral question. It wasn’t here when I read this earlier, but it’s just so honest. I am so glad you had so many questions to answer, because truthfully? I love reading these kinds of posts.

  • Great job with the Q & A; I cannot even get it together to answer FIVE interview questions and yet, I still think I want to do a post like this someday. Yeah, someday. That’s the ticket.

    “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be? ” was my fav question and answer.

  • Bridge says:

    You said, “Where do you see yourself in 15 years?”

    You had the wrong answer. You and I will be on a beach somewhere tropical. I will be drinking. You will be my driver.

    P.S. I’ll make you rolls soon. Dinner was FAB!

  • Rachel H says:

    My favorite is: “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be? ”

    And really it’s for the same reason you listed: Probably one of my male friends. I totally think it would be interesting to have sex and experience whacking off as a guy. God just did NOT give females enough of a YEE HAW! area if you ask me.

    But only if I get to switch back to my life afterward…I wouldn’t want to stay a man forever.

  • Holly says:

    When I read the third of a cow question I misread it and thought it was a question about whether or not you think you are a three cow wife. Funny either way.

    I have a question for you. Since you’ve begun blogging you’ve amassed a huge record of your life. Do you have any idea of how you are going to preserve this record for your children and grandchildren? Will you print it as is in a book? Would you want to edit it? Or, like Queen Victoria, would you have it all burned after your death? How would you want your grandchildren to know you when they are your age? My grandmother only left a few written pages behind. I would love to know what she felt about her life as she lived it.

  • loralee says:

    @Holly

    Dude, Johnny Lingo would so be disappointed in me as an any kind wife. He’d probably demand a refund and ask for an additional cow just to make up for it!

    It’s an interesting question you broach. I have given it a lot of thought. I am a really (ehem) colorful person, to put it kindly.

    Normally, I am ok with this and continue to feel a little more and more comfortable in my own skin just how it is as I get older. (Soooo far from where a healthy level is, though.I have a lot of shame going on.)

    However, when I apply this to my own kids I get freaked out. I think that the biggest button pushing insult you can hurl at a parent is “Your children would be so ashamed” or “I feel sorry for your children”.

    It freaks me out that one day they will be adults and what on earth would they think of their weird mother when they look at her and evaluate her on equal footing?

    It’s a tough call.

    But at the end of the day? I don’t want a sanitized version of me remembered. Mainly because, well…it wouldn’t be ME.

    As it is? This blog is about 1/3 of my life at BEST. It already IS a sanitized version of my life, so really…I’m ok with them reading it at some point.

    Even though it will probably totally gross them out that their mother had a “Dear God, NOT THAT ONE” sex toy.

    Heh.

  • Cindy says:

    I have commented a few times and I mainly just read but I’ve been reading you for forever and I have been wondering for ages about your first marriage. Thank you for sharing that. I think it it really respectful of you. So many people bash or rip on their ex’s and you are a very good example of how to handle being divorced.

    I don’t have a blog so I don’t know if that disqualifies me for entry. It is ok if it does, I just wanted to tell you thanks for speaking up about something I have wondered for so long.

    Cindy

  • Mrs. Wilson says:

    Weird as it is, I like the question about your first marriage – only because it seems as though you two get along, which is obviously awesome for your son. Kudos to you for that.

    I’m also tempted to follow in your footsteps about the blog reading. I have WAY too many in my Reader and some days REALLY want to blow it up.

    And yes, I DID read the whole thing :) I work the night shift and have a LOT of time on my hands.

  • wow. I wish I set a timer for how long it took to read that. ;-)

    I with ya on the RHof anything.

    And I’m with Oprah on the waxing issue.

    I tried commentluv for blogger, because I think it’s kind of neat, but it totally effed everything up, so I had to delete it.

    Favorite? I dunno….maybe the random comment about the third of a cow.

    I’m retweeting because you’re funny. But not too many people follow me, so I’m protecting my chances at that gift card. If I win, I’ll use it to replace my son’s ipod shuffle that was stolen out of his gym locker. stoopid. him for not locking it and the thief because that’s just not right and mean people suck.

  • avonlea says:

    My favorite question and answer is about where else would you live in the world — there are so many places in the world I want to visit and experience and live in, too!

  • Suzanne says:

    Security control officer? That is SO classic for the Loralee I’ve come to know over the past six months. That’s my favorite question!

    BTW, BlogHer? Seriously?! Awesome! (and if you need a roommate to split costs, please let me know…

  • Brooke says:

    Hi, I’m de-lurking to say that I read your blog occasionally (being a former logan and USU student) and enjoy your writing. Thus, my favorite q/a’s were about your husband and about school, had been wondering about that too.

  • jess says:

    ha ha, i’m laughing at it taking connie 20 mins to read this. i realize not every one is a speed reader like me. :)

    second of all, teh interwebz should know that 1- jon IS real; 2- he’s huge (as in big and tall); 3- he’s insanely intelligent; and 4- he’s thEE biggest geek i know. he actually wears flashlights, leathermans and other geek crap as accessories. totally fitting accessories given the face that most of his attire includes plaid (think lumberjack plaid) shirts, cargo pants/shorts, levis and hiking boots.

  • noteverstill says:

    I liked the dreams question – it left me wondering who the little girl is in your dreams.

  • Brittany says:

    Ok, so not the most hilarious question set, because I loved them all, but the most USEFUL was the one about the cow. I keep putting off ordering another quarter of cow becasue…I am lazy…forgetful..etc. And you have once again remidned me to get some yummy meat. I just called. Thanks to you.

  • Ok I actually quite enjoyed reading this monstrous blog post. LOL
    I started reading it last night when I seen you tweet about it and had to come back and finish today.

    Anyway…
    What’s the trashiest TV show you love?

    Bret Michael’s Rock of Love 1, 2 and Bus. I’m actually a sucker for any of that stupid VH1 celebreality BS. I have a love/hate relationship with Vh1.

    I love New York, Charm School, Tool Academy, Flavor of Love, My Fair Brady….man I love that shiz.

    PS – I’m in Utah, too!

  • I love the eyebrows one. I too have problem eyebrows, more like a unibrow, but once I start grooming I am a much happier camper. I wax the larger expanses then bought a $20 tweezerman tweezers for the fine tuning. Love it. I don’t quite have Burt’s eyebrows tho.

    Thanks for posting some singing – Ive been wondering where I could hear you. Its quite lovely.

  • Kim says:

    I loved reading this entry. There were a lot of questions that I loved but the one that moved me the most was visiting your son’s grave. I thought your answer was honest and realistic and it was touching.

    Of course, I loved the sex toy question, my kids would die if they knew I ever wrote of sex, toys or them. Actually, by virtue of being alive I embarrass my 12 year old daughter.

    Thanks for sharing even if it was long, it was worth it!

  • Jo says:

    I had no fav…very interesting tho..and I agree with some of your thoughts and opinions

  • jen says:

    My favorite question/answer is:

    “If you could trade lives with any person you know, who would it be? ”

    Because truthfully, i always wanted to be a dude to see what it was like to whack off also. No kidding.

    This was a great post. You are hilarious.

  • Amber says:

    I liked the questions about your ex and your husband, I’ve always wondered…..

  • I’ll get the word out to the fam that you’ve requested “I will” and you better believe I’ll be wearing black. You just want the guys, right? I’ll have to email you the recording of our family singing “I will”. If I knew how to post it online, I’d link to it, but I’m not that smart yet. Glad you added the deets to your funeral!

  • loralee says:

    Heck no! I just never see anyone but the men playing guitar. EVERYONE is singing that tune. It’s my favorite part of The Croshaw gatherings!

    I wanted it done at Matthew’s funeral but it got shot down because of the short notice. :S

  • Karen says:

    My favorite question:

    “You have a private jet piloted by Andy Samberg (who can fly AND make awesome digital shorts in this hypothetical situation) ready to take you anywhere you want to go; where are you flying?”

    but my question is, who is Andy Samberg???

    And my favorite answer is:

    You will just have to satisfy yourself that their names are “Naughty” “Naughtier” and “Dear god, NOT THAT ONE”.

  • holli says:

    My favorite is the question about singing – I’ve always wanted a link so I can hear your beautiful opera voice. As soon as I click “submit” and my comment goes to spam – that’s what I’m going to do!

    xo

  • oh, dear. my favorite AND least favorite is the blood-clotting disorder answer.

    OMG this one stresses me out! i have a similar disorder (called antiphospholipid antibody syndrome) and have to be on aspirin all the time and heparin injections during pregnancy. my ‘events’ have been two pregnancy losses…

    i’m stressed for you that you’re not on ANYTHING?! have you tried smaller needles??? my first pregnancy with heparin i just used the needles the pharmacy gave me and they were AWFUL. i cried EVERY. SINGLE. INJECTION. the next time i wised up and asked if there was an alternative. turns out there are needles so small you can’t even feel them!!!

    i can’t tell you what a difference the switch in needles made in my mental health between the pregnancies.

    anyways, sorry for the rant… hope it doesn’t come off as righteous or uppity… because that’s CERTAINLY not my intent.

    p.s. awesome contest. i should probably win. ;-)

  • Sarah says:

    I absolutely adored the boxcar children. I so wanted to be them, too!

  • mommymae says:

    my favorite was my question. wish i’d see you at blogher, but i’m moving to phoenix in june and will not be coming back to the midwest for it. maybe next year…

  • kirida says:

    I’m still snorting over the Andy Samberg as a pilot questions. I also love how you answered the eyebrow question.

  • becky says:

    Okay, it’s still before midnight here, so I’m going to comment anyway. Just for fun. Glad to see you’re going to BlogHer again. Not taking my little guy, who won’t be so little, this time. So no trying to push a stroller through THRONGS of women at Macy’s. And if I run into you, I will totally give you a big hug.

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  • [...] believe I even recently copped to my love when a reader asked if I knew how to milk a cow because I live in Cache Valley, Utah. (Sadly, I [...]

  • Al_Pal says:

    Awesome and insanely long! :P

    My fave was about your header, cuz I’d wondered about the eyeshadow [lack thereof], too! :D

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