My son wandered into my bedroom while I was shut up in the master bathroom after showering and started talking to me through the door.
“Mom? Why can’t I have Valentines to give out like Christopher?”
“Because you’re in middle school now, and it’s different. You have less homework now but you don’t get recess or big class parties like you did in elementary school. We need to talk about this later. I just got out of the shower and I need to get ready so you have to go out of the bedroom now so I can open the door.”
“AAAAAHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I AM LEAVING RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!! BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SEE MY MOM NAKED!!!!!!!!I WOULD DIE A THOUSAND DEATHS OF TORTURE AND AGONY AND THEN I WOULD HAVE TO SEAR MY EYES OUT WITH MY JEDI SWORD OF DESTRUCTION!!!!!MY EYES!!!!!MY EYES!!!I’M TOO YOUNG TO GO BLIND!!!WHY?!!!!!!! WHY MUST YOU AFFLICT ME SO???!!!!!!! AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”
Um…yeah.
That was such a groovy way to start the day.
It’s not like I want him to go all oedipal and freaky on me or anything. I mean, who wouldn’t gag at the thought of their mother being all nekkid?
(Seriously. Hurl.)
BUT, DUDE!
That was harsh.
HARSH.
And?
It does nothing to counter the feeling that I am beginning to resemble a pregnant Jabba the Hut. Only with a less grody looking tongue and boobs that are apparently like WalMart and growing to the size that they will soon take over the universe.
I still have yet to get ready for the day so I suppose I should go do that now. Since I’m still wrapped in a towel and need to change, y’all might want to cover your eyes. You know, so you don’t have to sear them with your Jedi Sword of Destruction n’ stuff.
Filed under: 
Ummm . . . sorry to disapoint him, but not all of us are concerned like that. Come one out and drop that towel.
I’m with Joe. I think you need some naked therapy to gain back what those harsh words took away. That’s why we’re here. That’s why we’re here.
I think it’s hilarious that your son immediately goes to the Jedi Sword of Destruction.
Otherwise… ehh… wouldn’t put too much stock on the opinion of middle school boys. I didn’t even when I was in middle school :)
Wow, way harsh. Cheer up though. At least you know he’s a totally normal boy!
It’s not harsh! He’s a middle school boy, and you? Are a girl.
like I said yesterday, I think you still look great for being over 1/2 way done with the pregnancy.
And, like I said yesterday, PLEEEEZZZZEEEE go back to full feed. Me no likey the partial feed. Pretty Please?
Oh kids. Gotta love them.
Let’s not hurt the boy, now…
He’s an articulate little whipper snapper. If I were you, I’d just be relieved that he DOESN’T want to see you naked. Good boy!! ;)
A request – can you put your feed back onto full instead of partial for us google feedreaders out there? Pretty please?
Ha ha ha!!! Well, my son said the other day while we were watching television, and I had told him to cover his eyes during a Victoria’s Secret commercial, telling him he couldn’t look at a naked woman until he was married- “Well, mom… I can look at you any time I want!” (yes, I DO cover up around him- believe me, I DO!) “No you can’t! I’m your mom!” to which he replied: “Ya- you’re just my mom! It’s not like you’re a babe or anything.”
Ya…. does wonders for your self esteem!
This:
“…boobs that are apparently like WalMart and growing to the size that they will soon take over the universe.”
HA! Hahahahaha!
I was under the impression that you always blogged nekkid.
My switch to partial feeds is only for one week people.
I’m doing this to try and get a different/better analysis of my subscriptions/clickthrough origins because I have highly suspected my feedburner account is FUBARD for a long time.
I know it’s annoying. I’m not a fan of partial readers but it’s just for one week. Surely y’all can hang in there that long? It’s appreciated. :)
The partial read isn’t so bad. You know, you can click the title and it takes you right to the site? I don’t think it’s any more troublesome than scrolling down.
Well, it’s not my favorite option but I really have to try and figure this out and it has to happen at some point.
I could just delete my feedburner account without trying to check, but I am not sure what that would do to subscriptions so I’m trying to be careful.
I feel bad, but it is just a few more days. Promise.
Update:
Just looked at my stats and yup. TOTAL confirmation that Feedburner is screwed. I now have all the info I need so BACK TO FULL FEEDS ASAP.
Yay!
Thanks for bearing with me, everyone.
LOLOL! Hubs always forgets to close the master bedroom door, and I keep yelling from the shower,
“That door better be CLOSED because I don’t want to have to pay for THERAPY for the 13 year old!”
Or me, neither.
Jedi sword of distruction? Where does one get one of those?!? Cuz we’re doing some remodeling projects at the house and it may help.
My favorite part of that entire post was the Jedi Sword of Destruction. He totally got that from your husband didn’t he? ;)
Want to get some great Valentine’s? Become a teacher, you wouldn’t believe the loot! You would so many stuffed animals you could start a stuffed animal store!
Need somebody to dry your back?
LOL, that sounds like something my 11 yr old son has said. They’re great for the ego, aren’t they? :D
I hear ya… and while we are talking about pregnant showering can I just ask if you have a hand held sprayer?
Getting soap out of all the unreachable areas is getting hard these days and I need a hand held sprayer thing bad!
Knowing your son and knowing his paternal fam and knowing they all have big geek genes…this is a totally understandable scenario. I think Marcus would connect deeply with James’s response and his choice of weaponry!
okay that was really funny and all, but i have one question. WHY DOES HE HAVE LESS HOMEWORK IN MIDDLE SCHOOL?????