Stephen Fowler from “Wife Swap” could possibly be the one of the most hated men in the country at this moment.

ally says:

i read on his wife’s blog (before it was taken down) that she stated that the editors took certain liberties with her family’s portrayal. she made it seem like it was a humorous thing. however, i seriously doubt it’s a funny thing now. i actually is there anyway for them to recover or if they truly care? i agree with you about Renee retaining or gaining clients.

Disgusted says:

I enjoyed your commentary. Very funny, very spot on. I complained to the local ABC affiliate, KGO, am waiting to see what, if anything they report about it.

THIS IS WHAT I POSTED ON HIS FRIENDS WEBSITE:

Blogger Disgusted said…

Nobody is going to physically harm them. They just aren’t that important in this world. The only harm they will suffer is the harm they did to themselves with their overbearing snobby elitist behavior. The irony is that they are probably taking the response of insulted Americans as the reactions of knee jerk neocon ‘middle dwellers’ with little or no intelligence or wisdom in the ways of the world. His attempt to come off as broadly egalitarian fails in his obvious disdain for any person that doesn’t meet his self proclaimed level of intelligence.

I laugh that they deliberately did not say that the FOULers live in San Francisco. Instead, they called it ‘Big City’. No matter, most of us can recognize the distinctive streets of San Francisco, as well as read the street signs on 101 saying SF Airport and San Bruno Avenue as we could clearly see in the background when they left the go cart business. It’s obvious the show changed the name of the Cityn because the Fowlers are in business locally and were seen by anyone watching this show as the elitist snobs they believe themselves to be. Damn that pesky Golden Gate Bridge!

I live in the Bay Area and unfortunately, there are many out there like the Fowlers, but not many quite as extreme. His egregious manners and use of degradation to make himself feel or appear superior was appalling. He shows no class, which makes me seriously question his intelligence. Class is something that in some people is inherent, but it can also be learned. Someone with an alleged (self stated) IQ of 150+ should know how he comports himself publicly, and in front of a camera to a nationally televised audience could possibly be seen in a negative light. I think his ego won’t allow him to see that his stupidity is his arrogance. He is a demagogue in his own little narrow minded world. His sesquipedalian tendency appears to be an affectation, exacerbated by his desire to denigrate the lady from Missouri. Can you understand those words Fowler?

As to Renee, her refusal to be a proud American by merit of no choice by birth makes this woman a nightmare and the type of rabid left wing liberal San Franciscans that many of us in the Bay area have come to loathe and be embarrassed by. I would really like it if these people would remove themselves from this country and jog their little snooty pretentious butts right on across the Big Pond. What disgusting people!

“Respect your body”, but apparently, do not respect others. Isn’t this how you raise narcissistic little future serial killers? To disrespect an adult woman in front of your children, to jeer at her, to make fun is setting a good example? To brainwash them and teach them to be rude when an adult addresses them even in a simple goodbye is something to admire? The man is a cretinous knuckle dragging moron, and his wife is probably subjugated by him. I pity da foo’.

Vera says:

I am a ‘friend of a friend’ of the Fowlers and was just as appalled as everyone else by the behavior of Stephen. What is not shown on the show, however, is that Stephen apologized several times to Gayla. All we get to see are his insults. We don’t get to see what she said to him…reportedly some pretty nasty repartee from both parties. Much of the show is set-up and false. It’s a “reality show” not reality; a product of very selective editing.

Karen says:

Vera,

I have a friend of a friend who has this great bridge for sale in the bay area for $1.00.

(roll eyes)

The_Yakima_KId says:

To the FOF of the Fowlers:

I don’t think that the media had to do much manipulation to demonstrate that Mr. Fowler is definitely not only a bully and boor, but the current leading candidate for “Global Village Idiot.”

Please think of what you just posted: that Mr. Fowler repeatedly apologized to Mrs. Long. Think about that for a minute. If he repeatedly apologized to her, that means he repeatedly abused and insulted her – and that he assumes that saying he is sorry makes it all better and he can continue to do the same cruel things and it doesn’t matter.

There was a very telling moment for me that says it all about the Fowler marriage; the moment when Mrs. Fowler asked Mr. Long if he was going to hit her after she disagreed with him. Never mind how his children were afraid to say they were having fun, were visibly terrified of their own father; the man’s true character showed when his children had a play party and he threw a tantrum and ended it because he was no longer the center of attention.

Please read “The Sociopath Next Door.”

Disgusted says:

P.S. One last point, regardless of his apologies to Ms. Long, which would only be necessary if he were being a jerk; whether or not Ms. Long gave him any grief is moot. I sincerely doubt she went into that Swap intending to be disrespectful or to crap on anyone for two weeks the way he unloaded on her. Anything she had to say was well deserved by Stephen. I would not have been surprised if she smacked him, he surely deserved it. Too bad people are so litigious these days!

Blue Sunflower says:

I’m not surprised to hear the wife’s blog made it seem like she found the whole thing humorous, judging by her attitude at the end of the show – the “two weeks later”. She snorted at all the rules of the other wife (”In fact, I don’t think I even remember any of them”) and basically seemed like a perfect match to her boorish and bully-hearted husband.

Kimberly says:

The kids and I watched and were horrified. The public’s reaction proves that we’re not as numbed by reality television as some might think. You can cross the line. You can go too far.

Hopefully there’s still time for the Fowler’s children to learn from their parent’s mistakes.

Bernard says:

I wish they could have aired this show on the day after 9/11.

prick english says:

The Fowlers should have used their big educated brains before opening their big fat educated mouths. Hopefully someone will give him the serious “ass whooping” he deserves. His wife should move away and the children deserve parents who will teach them how to be good people, which these people are obviously incapable of doing.

Heather says:

Vera dear… I dont care if he apologized a thousand times. He kept doing it. Eventually apologies come off insincere and hollow. It was constantly, at different times, Stephen acted like a buffoon. A typical abuser… abuse someone and then be contrite. So they will stick around for more. And more he gave her.

Did she fight back? I am sure she did. But more often then not she used calmness and quietness. If someone attacked me as much as Stephen attacked her, you are damn straight I am gonna fight the heck back.

And Renee’s lack of courage (or is it fear of her husband?) to stand up to him and then later agreeing with his behavior shows me she should not be a “life-coach”. She cant get her own arse out of a volitile situation. She is the last damn person to be giving other people advice.

carrisa says:

now I’m sad that I missed it and it’s not available to watch on abc.com.

please post any links to the show as soon as you find them. I love a good trainwreck!

(and hello to all the traffic this is going to bring you. you are on the first page of google when you search his name)

Kathy K. says:

Greetings from “po-dunk” Missouri…
My family watched this show in horror. I can not remember ever being so ANGERED by a “reality” show! I fault the producers just as much as I do the Fowlers. They stood by and watched as this man REPEATEDLY verbally and emotionally abused Gayla Long. Shame on them! One can only imagine how Fowler treats his own wife and children behind closed doors.

As the show began with comments from Mr. Long about “skit work” I was sure that he was going to come across as the “villain” of the show. It really takes a complete outrageous, priggish ass to make “skirt-work” seem desirable!

Patricia Kirkpatrick says:

I just talked to a tree… Tree’s no longer want to have their picture on Stephen Fowler’s chest or anywhere near him. The World Tree Council gathered and has dismissed Stephen Fowler from any tree on earth. His wife too. The consensus is that Stephen Fowler NEVER hugged a tree and is a skinny nasty little wolf starving for tree blood… be afarid… very afraid indeed.

JP says:

To say I’d hate somebody more than Barney… Tha’s alot of hate… Don’t know that I’d ever hated any “thing” as much as Barney!

Breezy says:

I have never commented on a TV show before but this one just twisted my gut. Stephen Fowler has borderline intellect, per his own admission he is bordering between genius and insanity and it seems obvious which side he falls on when he opens his mouth.
I find it appalling that this animal was given US citizenship just because he married a witch accidentally born in this great country. It would be far better to send them both back to England and allow some poor Mexican laborer citizenship. The Mexican has so much more to offer this country.
Renee was no better than Stephen, she was just outnumbered and out of her element. Her lack of disgust at her husband’s behavior is the proof. Those poor children will suffer the most.
Naturally, the Fowler’s learned nothing from this experience, they already know it all. Or more likely, he is so closed minded he is incapable of learning. If people take out their anger on this clan of robots, they deserve it. They chose to show off their “brilliant well-educated, perfect” selves to the world and now must pay the consequences. That is R E A L I T Y.

Bon says:

You know we always see guys like this depicted as the “evil villain” in movies. There’s that evil wrinkled scowl on his face, his sociopath behavior, and elitist snobbery (typecast = evil villain). Stephen Fowler fits that role perfectly. Has he ever been in any movies (not being serious, LOL)? He’s so close to Hollywood, he ought to do it. He would not have to act, just play his evil bastard self.

JJ says:

Kharma:
I like your idea. I’ve been working on it quite a bit already and I would encourage everyone to use the following language in their cards, letters, and emails:

TO: XXXXXXXXX
RE: Stephen Fowler

Dear Sirs/Madams:
One of your employees is a man by the name of Stephen Fowler. Mr. Fowler appeared on “Wife Swap” on ABC on 1/30/09. His attitudes, behavior, and treatment of other human beings could ultimately impact those who associate with him or his business contacts. I encourage you to examine this issue further, to view the program, to investigate Mr. Fowler, and to take whatever action you deem appropriate.

Sincerely,

xxxx

His various business contact are readily available on the web, just look around a little.
Good luck.

Craig says:

Yeah, so much for tolerant liberal men.

Disgusted says:

Oh right, and Renee won’t lose all her business, it will simply morph into a different clientele. There is a large segment of people in San Francisco that feels and act as the Fowlers do. Now, as with any hate group, they have found a kindered spirit and those types will flock to the Fowlers for solace in similarity!

Pervin Oz says:

I think that my first thought when watching the show was how could ABC subject Gayla to such abuse. They should have gotten her out of there. I wonder how this show is done. Do they get a lot of money for putting up with what they are subjected to? Did they sign a contract they cannot get out of? Was she truly stuck there without a chance to leave? I worked with a woman from England with an attitude like that. She said they are very class conscious. I dress well, am good looking, cultured, have a college degree, am socially adept, and upper middle class, and she told me she could never take me to visit her family in England. Stephen made a fool of himself. The fact that he had no clue makes one wonder about his personality disorders. I feel very, very sorry for his children. His wife seemed nice, but really could not be if she accepts what he does. She really should move away from him and raise her children on her own. As others have said, I wonder what abuse goes on behind closed doors if he is like that in public. I hope the wife will protect her children. I was very proud of Gayla’s husband when the families met. He should wonderful restraint. It was almost as if he really could not believe what was happening, that a human being could be so cruel while appearing to be civilized.

kat says:

i think this guy should volunteer to make a nationally broadcast apology to the Long family, if for no other reason than to rescue his children form the ridicule that might follow them for the rest of their young lives. he owes men, women, children, Americans, mid-westerners, television owners/watchers, Brits, the military, his employers, his schools, colleges, teachers, his dentist, his wife and family, the Long family and all ethical human beings of the planet an honest, heart felt apology. either that, or put him in a room (with no witnesses) alone with Mr. Long for ten minutes and see if he can ‘educate’ himself out of a good ol’ boy ass canning. I WOULD BUY TICKETS TO THAT!!! ;)

MH says:

NEWS FLASH…He’s a raging closet queen. Recites his GRE scores? Wakes his little boy to finish his homework? Wears T shirts with messages at age 49? He’s a gay boy and his “wife” is a prop of sorts. Of note, it appears that his little kids are totally in on “mom” and “dad’s” charade. They both seem to be biding their time, ready to flee that house of horrors at the first opportunity, never to look back. Their parent’s desire to raise independent little folks will become a reality as they avoid them forever, even on their death beds.

To Torn associate of the Fowlers says:

Why no concern for the woman and family he humiliated?

Disgusted says:

Of COURSE people should not threaten his family or children. That would make them lower than Stephen Fowler. And dangerously illegal. Anyone who takes this beyond the realm of email or to those kids should be prosecuted.

That being said, a good parent takes the safety of his family first into consideration. They say a smart man who backs away lives to face another day. In this case, a smart man who shuts his idiotic yap lives to enjoy another day without any crap! Know what’s ironic? I actually saw a wisdom and quiet dignity in Mr. Longs eyes while he was looking at Stephen Fowler. Who really has the superior intellect?

As to their employment, as I said before: they will lose those clients who eschew hypocrisy, and will instead have them replaced by their own little version of the San Francisco KKK! Y’all think white robes and hoods represent hatred, well so do social message slogan tees purchased in the Haight while one is affectating to be so enlightened.

Ms. Kharma says:

pbj….Hollis Polk already took her page down. I wish I could have copied her blog before she deleted it. She was almost as unconsciously degrading as the vile person himself. That’s why I called her out in my previous post.

Apparently this didn’t “blow over” fast enough.

George says:

Travelocity is paying Stephen to be nasty– he’s getting a cut of all the ads associated with this Wife Swap episode. Boycott every seller you saw in commercials during that show, & together we can change the world. Woo hoo! Stick that in your arse & smoke it Stevio!

NOVAvirginia says:

Torn associate of the Fowlers,

You obviously did not know the Fowlers as well as you thought. Social encounters, where one puts on the required airs, can not tell us what is going on behind closed doors. Sadly, for the family, there was abuse, and it seems it was to the extreme. (No television editing put those words into his mouth, facial expressions on his face nor urged him to include his children in such rude behavior). Some of the sickest people can come across as quite normal, when they are calm and in an accepting social setting, and only show their true colors when they are stressed or feel unworthy.

As to publishing the family phone numbers and addresses, the Fowlers have those numbers posted for the public to see. They wanted a response, that was why they went on the show, and they are getting one, just not the one they hoped for. I must say that I, like you, would hope this information is only used to express opinions, and hope that some person needing mental help, on the same scale as Stephen Fowler, does not take this any further than expressing opinions.

Instead of trying to defend this man’s actions, as a friend, I would urge you to start studying “narcissism” and figure out the best way to help this family. The public outcry will die down, but that family will remain broken and will need help. If friends can’t see what is happening right in front of their faces, and urge Mrs. Fowler to get help, who will? (A narcissist will never know that he needs help!)

jennifer says:

I have never seen one person offend so many in a one hour show. For those of you who claim to be friends of these people, it goes to show sometimes you don’t really know people. Kind of like the neighbors of serial killers on the news. It is rather strange that you write defend him, but offer no apologies to the Longs. Maybe you are more like him than you think. I will never watch that show again as I don’t believe it was in Mrs Long’s best interest to suffer such abuse for entertainment sake.

Sam24 says:

To “disgusted”

I have no interest in knowing if their friends are unpatrotic or not or if “fouler” is an abuser

All I want to know from the friends here is how the name of hell you could be friends with someone who wears such stupid tshirts?

ChristopherAnn says:

I’d suggest that if he really wishes to “enlighten” himself and his family, this summer, he should rent an RV and tour the American Heartland.

I think he’ll find folks there that will treat him a hell of a lot better than he treats others.

Plus, not that it will stop him, but before he makes sweeping, bigoted, judgmental and derogatory comments, he should at least make a nominal effort to find out what it is he’s talking about.

Maybe ABC will do a reality show about that. “The Education of Stephen Fowler.”

Josh says:

Those San Francisco childern need to be placed in protective custody. The husband doesn’t sound any differnt than a hate-mongering Nazi or vile Ku Klux Klan member. He has raised up every mid-western Americn as an object of scorn, has bashed every person who hasn’t had the luck or money to be college educated, and is teaching his kids that people who don’t think the way he does are human trash to be actively ignored, railed at, or spit upon. The guy is a total puke. The wife needs to stop being a co-dependent enabler for his predjudicial attitude and verbal abuse.

As for the Missouri family– BRAVO!! Sure they weren’t so ready for criticism at first, but they were eventually willing to hear helpful suggestions that weren’t so judgemental or harsh.

The heavyset kid was exceptionally brave for taking her fitness suggestions 100%, on a scale o 1 to 10, choosing a 10.

The dad was a bit stuck in his ways at first, but he was willing to hear the San Francisco wife out without being unduly nasty in his defensiveness. SHE tried hard to reach the kids and to teach them how to be healthier and happier, and for that, she’s a gem. She wasn’t terribly mean about anything, and she saw that despite her advanced ivory tower education, she needed help learning to use that washing machine like anyone else. Let’s see Stephen Fowler attempt to give something good back to his own community by serving like the Missoury dad does! The Missoury gentleman helps his community by serving as THE MAYOR of his own small town.

Maybe they don’t use big words in Missouri, but they don’t have to to get their jobs done well or done right, without all Stephen’s high faluntent put-downs. The Missouri family has open minds and BIG HEARTS, and that’s all that matters.

I pity the girls under Stephens roof- they will either endure Stephen’s nastiness themselves, or they will grow to be stuck up ice-princess know-nothings like their dad.

Why should outraged observers not tell Stephen and his wife their opinions of his public crulety? Do we love him enough to teach him a lesson? Do we all wish to right his wrongs? Is he really the center of the universe he thinks he is? What has bratty childish selfish hypocritical Stephen done for anyone but himself lately? Right.

Disgusted says:

Haha Sam…the tees were a bit over the top. They were obviously carefully chosen to show all ‘ussn ignurents out there in Amurika jest how soshily conshus’ Stephen is and more importantly, the rest of us are not.

And speaking of creepy things, is anyone as creeped out as I am by that commercial for Ikea with man voiced older woman on the bed of the sleeping younger woman? The full version has her sitting in a chair in the bedroom watching her sleep too…CREEPY!

2 cents from the North says:

To Torn associate of the Fowlers:

I am a little disconcerted by your absolution of Stephen Fowler’s responsibility for this current situation and there are several points I’d like to address. First, I don’t think it is disingenuous for people to feel sorry for his children yet wish for him to lose his livelihood. How he treated Gayla and her family was completely inflammatory – no editing can make that up. He made the decision to go on national television and act so irresponsible thereby exposing his family to the level of animosity that is surfacing right now. He and Renee both use the internet as a tool for their various business ventures, you can’t then turn around and blame the internet’s efficacy when things don’t go your way. He, not the public, are responsible for the eventual outcome of this situation. From a professional standpoint, I think it would be absolutely prudent for organizations (both for profits and NPOS) to disassociate themselves from him because he demonstrated extremely poor judgment by conducting himself in such a disgraceful manner on national televison.
Second, its difficult for you to reconcile your feelings towards what you and your friends saw on tv with the person you know because there would never be a real situation in which Stephen would meet an individual with the same background as Gayla so you’ve never had an opportunity to see how he or Renee would act. Of course he would never denigrate you or your circle of friends in that manner because you’re all from the same socio-economic background. The true testament to someone’s character and professional is their ability to communicate with individuals from all backgrounds in a gracious manner. I think this is the time for you and your circle of friends and associates to really reflect on how well you know one another.

CharmingBitch says:

I don’t usually watch this show because of the generally rampant misogyny but yes, I saw this episode and was just floored. While I am certain, as with all ‘reality’ shows, there was editing involved you can’t put words into someone’s mouth that they didn’t actually say. I was shocked the Missouri mom hung in there and continued to at least make an effort and I agree with previous comments that I am sure she said more than what was shown, she seemed to be a very nice person and not one to lash out and attack in a way deserving of his cruelty and abuse.

Disgusted says:

Think what you want about Patriotism, but I just bawled like a baby watching the opening ceremonies of the Super Bowl. The singing, Captian Sully and crew, the Blue Angel flyover…some call it pagentry to appeal to the ignorance of the masses, I call it a moment to remember how lucky we all really are to live in such a wonderful Country and to take another moment to think about our service men and women making our freedom (like this blog) a number 1 priority!

Stephen Fowler suffers from malignant narcissim. It can’t be cured, but it can be managed. And be careful with the CPS comments, that’s what got peoples commentary bounced off the ABC website. CPS won’t care anyway. I have more than a passing professional acquaintancship with that agency and unless there is a danger of physical abuse or blatant neglect they won’t make a case. Sorry. Harsh reality but true. I think the airing of this show will put the Fowlers on notice, or make them flee to more ‘enlightened’ Europe!

New tee: Malignant Narcissists Hug Themselves!

Laura says:

Torn,

I too strongly oppose any harrassment or threats against the Fowlers. I don’t want their kids to be harmed in any way. However, I can’t say I’m sorry to hear that the Fowlers are taking some serious heat for this. Someone like Mr. Fowler who apparently views himself as so infinitely superior to most of the rest of the population of the world desperately needs a huge dose of humility. And if he is to instill in his kids the values of decency and kindness, they also need for him to receive that dose of humility. In the long run, it may be the best thing that could happen to the family. If he loses employment? Surely a man as intelligent as he made sure everyone knew he is could find other work. Maybe it wouldn’t pay quite as much. Maybe he and his wife would have to get rid of the housekeepers and do their own cleaning, or even move to a smaller home. But again, if through those experiences they came to understand that they were no better than anyone else — GOOD.

Valerie says:

Interestingly people are leaving lots of “review” on google maps for Renee’s business (mindforbody). Which is incidently at their house. And I told you that google is evil!

curves says:

Someone should put a compilation of Stephen Fowler’s hateful comments on DVD and give it out to every resident of San Francisco. There is a nice project for your marketing class!

jennifer says:

Fowler was drinking or had a glass of wine in his hand in half of his scenes. Or was that edited in? I found the scene of him having his 7 year old opening his wine very distrubing.

molly says:

I actually found Ms. Fowler/Stephens worse. I suspect she is the tyrant in the house. She has chosen a profession that allows her to dictate to other people how to live. Her husband seems a bit mentally unstable. He is soooo abrasive. She does not seem unstable but she tolerates abusive behavior.

Thou shalt not be a victim.
Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander.”

~ Holocaust Museum, Washington DC

They have darling children and I hope the whole family gets therapy to address some of their issues.

To encourage a child to be mean and disrespectful to someone is abuse. Mr. Fowler’s daughter was forced to be mean and it was probably a conflict for her.

Ms. Fowler/Stephens does not strike me as the abused type. I suspect she is the one who really runs things.

That being said I think calling their home or giving our their personal information is really wrong.

I hope that they get counseling and grow as people. They obviously are a bright family just very emotionally stupid.

I think the family from the Midwest seemed like good people but very undereducated. The mother struggled with her reading and the dad got quantity and quality mixed up. Their diet is atrocious too. Allowing a child to get that obese is neglect. Paintball and 3 wheeling is obviously not enough exercise. I think their family is a strong loving family so I think with hard work and some better education they will be fine.

I do understand what the Fowlers were saying about not being proud Americans. I think those of us who think the war in Iraq was wrong and that the lack of environmental oversight and financial oversight and even Guantanamo are horrific sometimes are not proud Americans. I also think that what she is trying to say is that she is an American by chance and she is a citizen of the world. I am proud to be an American but as someone who works around the world I am aware of some troubling things the United States does. At times I am not proud of my country but I am still a proud American. I think that was the point she was making.

Stephen was so defiant and oppositional I would have him tested for physical and mental problems. Something was not tracking there. It was odd.

Ms. Kharma says:

Who else just saw the Cheetos commercial during the Super Bowl? It featured some pretentious chick talking smack on her cell phone at the city she was visiting. The home town girl gets the nod from Chester Cheetah and she covertly tosses some Cheetos under her chair. The “uneducated pigeons” swarm her.

Kharma!

Heather says:

Dear Torn:
Did you know most people can put on an excellent facade? Esp in the short term? If Renee and the children were being abused you would have NO IDEA of it? Do you know how many high powered people who the community ADORES are molesting little children? But no one would ever guess or even BELIEVE it if you told them. The outside picture they present is 100% different then the picture behind closed doors.
Stephen and Renee reaped all they sowed. They put themselves out there. They chose to put their lives out in a public arena which opened them up to scrutiny. And unfortunately Stephen is such a moron he didnt realize all his nasty remarks were going to come back on him. I guess he thought he was funny and witty. When reality is he was a boor and a brute and left not one person admiring him.
I think you need to wake up and smell the coffee of what kind of person you are associating with. What you saw… that was him. That was your “friend”. That is how he treats people. That is how he treated a guest in his home that did no harm to him. Imagine what he does to his family behind closed doors. Did you see his daughters ravaged face when she came through the door and wouldnt speak to Gayla? If not… I suggest you go back and watch. He is not a good, stable, or honorable man. What you get when you are with him is his facade. What he wants you to see. America got to see the real Stephen when the cameras rolled. And America didnt like what they saw.
If your a good friend… get Renee to realize the abuse going on in that home and get her kids in a safe enviroment. Money and education is nice, but not at the expense of her children.

Monica says:

The sheer cruelty of this man has obsessed me since the program aired. I do not wish his children harm certainly not physically and not psychologically but quite frankly, I think its a bit late to worry about that. As we say in the Midwest….the barn door is open and its too late to close it up now.

To *torn*, I can only echo what others have said. You did not know this man as well as you thought you did.

It is one thing for him to brag about his fitness level, his degrees, his income, his IQ, his children’s private school and that everyone in his *set* (that would be you, I gather) has a housekeeper. If the man simply came across as a braggart , America would be laughing at his pretensions and think …oh well…I don’t have to associate with him.

America is not angry with him because he is thinner, more educated, makes a large amount of money, and doesn’t have to sweep the floor. They saw gratutious cruelty. Gayla didn’t ask him to take his children out of private school, forgive them of homework, or disrupt their carefully planned schedule. She merely suggested that there might be something fun they could do that didn’t necessarily translate into a line on their resume for college applications. It was bad enough we he told her she was uneducated, overweight and opinionated *which is not attractive*. I completely lost it after the go-kart outing when she simply said *was there anything you liked about this?* and he yelled *YOU DUMB REDNECK GET IN THE CAR*. I think he was about to shove her in the car too. From then on it was simply more apalling.

I used to practicie employment law for a large and well known retail company. I guarantee you if one of our executives had behaved that way on national tv, I would have been one busy woman this weekend figuring out how to axe his sorry ass. Because if he loses it like that with the camera’s running and knowing all America is going to see it I would not want to trust his temper around the workforce where, unlike Gayla, they could subject the company to an expensive lawsuit. Not to mention that if he worked for my former company and this program aired, we would be facing a nationwide boycott right now. So yes, actions have consequences.

If he loses his job he can find another one. Maybe he won’t get to keep his housekeeper. What a shame!

And as for Renee, I have avoided stating I think she is an abuse victim but If I were you I might start thinking back and wondering if perhaps there might be just a lot more ugly in that household than we caught a glimpse of on Friday night.

No one likes to think they were wrong in their judgment of someone else. But lines must be drawn. And sociopathic behavior must be shunned…not *tolerated*.

Katherine says:

Unfortunately, I had the misfortune of meeting some people just like the Fowlers while living in the Bay Area. Seems the area is very set on creating class distinctions. I found that most people would turn a blind eye, try to make light of it, or say I must of misunderstood. Hmm.. I didn’t misunderstand. I understood perfectly. These person are so self righteous that common decensy and sense do not apply to them. However, I can say I meet others who would even make me consider going back.

What is even scarier is that now, this poor excuse of a human being will in all likely hood benefit from all the Bills being passed to help stimulate the research and development of Biofuels and alternative energies, since all his businesses and associations are tied up in those areas. That makes me even sicker knowing my tax dollars are going to end up in his pocket.

Ms. Kharma says:

Stephen,

I hope you are watching the Super Bowl. You may want to check out the sites Careerbuilder.com or perhaps Monster.com.

Just sayin’

Disgusted says:

Fowler would do better on CharacterBuilder.Com

Ms. Kharma says:

Touche’ Disgusted.

To be honest I don’t know if that passes for “passable” French or not. ;-)

Disgusted says:

Me too Daisy…I even went back on as ‘Blocked Access’ to make a point about it. They want us to sit and watch their show and spend $ with their advertisers but when it comes to taking the heat for the outrageous content the show contained, they delete the hell out of their message boards.

Hypocrites!!!

daisy111222333 says:

I actually have the entire blog transcript from Hollis Polk’s website before it was removed. I posted it on reality roll call:

http://realityrollcall.com/index.php/2009/01/31/wife-swaps-stephen-fowler-threatens-to-sue-reality-roll-call/comment-page-2.

You have to scroll down the page to find the entire blog posted into my comment, but it is all there. Reality roll call has since removed their old blogs and you must use the limk above to access it.

Disgusted says:

GO ARIZONA!!!!

Ms. Kharma says:

GO Arizona!!!! Kurt Warner is a class act.

Disgusted says:

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo don’t WANT Pittsburgh to win…..

Ms. Kharma says:

Our group is rooting for AZ. Who knows what will happen if they loose and THEN we watch Wife Swap!!

Blondie42 says:

Does anyone know how much the Fowlers got paid to be on Wife Swap? Because I am betting that he loses way more than he could have possibly earned.

I hope that the commenter who said his boss was at his house during the viewing and answering the phone and laughing was wrong. It would make me sick to think a company could condone such a colosal dickwad as an employee

Colleen - Mommy Always Wins says:

Yowsers. I stopped watching that show a long time ago after not being able to stomach much less offensive people. Watching is like looking at the turds you just cleaned up in your yard. Its gross, and why?

Katherine says:

No one’s threatening here, just hopefully informing the dweeb of the Potential caliber of Podunkness he annoyed. Wondering if he even gets it. He’s not worth the loss of clearances. But a few of us podunk employees of the federal government have come up with a few redtape nightmares just for his benefit, starting with an IRS review of claims, hope he keeps his reciepts for a few years.

John says:

Most educated leftists have at least some degree of contempt for normal people, who they imagine themselves leading the show. That’s why one idealistic left-wing revolution after another, whether we’re talking about the French Revolution or the Khmer Rouge, winds up murdering their enemies and large numbers of innocent people who get in their way. Their “compassion” for the little people is better understood as “sympathy” — those poor slobs will never be as wonderful as those “compassionate” leftists are and must be led by enlightened people. But when that “sympathy” slides away, the contempt and hatred often come out in full force like they did here.

Ms. Kharma says:

I was actually posting my previous reply before your’s had posted so I apologize. You are doing a great job of keeping this very clean. Kudos to you.

Washington Liberal says:

I’m disgusted with this family’s treatment of the Long family. I did some research myself and found that the companies that give this Fowler dude such shining credentials – are HIS OWN companies. What a tool this guy is!

Fowler Companies:

TERRANOVABIO.COM

Registrant:
Stephen Fowler
(Address Deleted)

Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: TERRANOVABIO.COM
Created on: 04-May-07
Expires on: 04-May-09
Last Updated on: 27-Mar-08

Administrative Contact:
Fowler, Stephen
(Address Deleted)

Technical Contact:
Fowler, Stephen
(Address Deleted)

ZOOQNET.COM

Registrant:
Stephen Fowler
(Address Deleted)

Registered through: GoDaddy.com, Inc. (http://www.godaddy.com)
Domain Name: ZOOQNET.COM
Created on: 13-Jun-07
Expires on: 13-Jun-09
Last Updated on: 13-Jun-08

Administrative Contact:
Fowler, Stephen
(Address Deleted)

Technical Contact:
Fowler, Stephen
(Address Deleted)

Jessica says:

There is a website called surf the channel (www.surfthechannel.com) that usually has any show you might want to see somewhere in their files. I have even found episodes of new HBO shows mid-season. Anyone who wants to find examples of Mr Fowlers inhumanity and spread them around a little on youtube might try checking the site out.

And on a side note – this isn’t anything that has not been said before, but I can’t help myself – to any friends of the Fowlers trying to make excuses for him…are you serious?

There is just no excusing it. In front of his children? It is disgusting. No excuses. No, “oh, but the editing.” No “well, he is nice to us.” No. Your friend is a prick. He just is. Maybe you still want to be his friend…but, you know, he’s an asshole.

Pissed in WI says:

Why on earth did he agree to go on this reality show if he doesn’t need the money?

Washington Liberal says:

Anyone can buy a domain at godaddy and put up a website.

LaskiGal says:

My eyes are totally glazing over from all the comments . . . Wow!

All I can say is that the producers contacted a bunch of mommy bloggers not too long ago.

I remember saying an adamant NO THANKS. Outside of my blog, I’m fairly private. You have to be completely confident in who you are (or delusional) to plaster your life on TV.

He knew what he was getting into. Which means only one thing. He was confident in who he was as a human being–which means that he was also delusional in thinking he could ever behave the way he did and get away with it.

You made a choice, buddy. Now you have to live with it.

BTW, I think the producer mentioned that participants make $20,000 if chosen as a WS family. Wonder if it was worth it?

Jessica says:

I found one brief clip of Mr Fowler on youtube.

You can cut and paste this into your address bar and watch it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fkFWV8lh3E

Disgusted says:

Ok, I put together some clips, they will be ready in half an hour, then I have to upload to YouTube

Washington Liberal says:

I didn’t post it, I’m trying to respond to it and ask where they got their info but can’t post on the board over there.

Katherine says:

There is a house down the street from them about 7 houses down for Sale only cost approximately $2,000,000.

tc in ct. says:

went to surfthechannel.com,as suggested,some wife swap episodes there,but not this one,cool site though,glad is was pointed out,ty.if you post on youtube,and it stays up,i think will be only record showing on internet

Ms. Kharma says:

Well….if we are going to get “all redneck” and all….I emailed this link to TMZ. Maybe they can put a little “national” light on it. ;)

OH….and why am I watching Jack Black being so distraught to the fact that Cloris Leachman is making out with someone while The Little River Band is playing in the backround? It’s hard to believe some of the things you see on TV.

Disgusted says:

Loralee, I know exactly what you mean. I was injured at work ten years ago and had six corrective surgery’s. I gained weight during all this time, got ‘released’ to exercise and go back to work (what work) two months ago. Then my dad and aunti died, and my mom went into the hospital, all at the same time. I ate like crap and my body shows it. I am feeling very sensitive about my weight gain. I would die if I was Renee’s client then tuned in to see what the true household attitude is toward people with human failings. I also wonder just how much her jumping around and flapping her arms releases my fat aura….puleez. I’ll just keep going to the gym, eat what I please and much less of it, and be glad I didn’t plunk down God knows how much to be the object of someone else’s ridicule!

Disgusted says:

Ok, here’s what I am going to do. The ‘movie’ has been made, just clips, about 35 minutes worth. It’s uploading to YouTube. I am going to publish the address ONLY to the people on this blog who have been following this story faithfully. I will publish it under ‘PaloAltoCalif’, and the name of the video will be ‘Malignant Narcissist’. That way, it won’t be as easy for censors to find. They put it out on the public airwaves, I made the movie myself from something I saw on public airwaves, so screw em! Your faithful readers can look then pass on the link at their discretion.

Katherine says:

I don’t comprehend their purpose of displaying themselves so arrogantly. However, I looked up the contract they had to sign in applying for the show and they signed all their rights away. Don’t know who he is going to Sue?

Disgusted says:

no, it’s still uploading. gonna be awhile, it’s 35 minutes long…and it’s right now 9:26 California time….hopefully YouTube will allow a file that size!

Joe says:

I had written “Forest Ethics,” a company where Stephen is on the board, complaining about the horrible way he treated people on the show. They wrote me back and said they were concerned about it and seemed horrified that he was wearing one of their shirts for much of the show. I am guessing Forest Ethics might be looking for a new board member soon!

Disgusted says:

Oh well, one good thing that came out of it is my friends have kids who love gokarting and seldom go….Malibu is always so crowded, now we found this place thanks to W/S. Gokart Racer Indoor Racing Center
http://www.gokartracer.com. That’s where they went….

Marcy says:

@Torn Associate:

“What happens to their children if the campaigns are successful and they lose their livelihoods? What then?”

Well, I suppose they’ll have to sell their very expensive house (Noe Valley isn’t cheap) and go someplace less expensive. May I suggest Missouri?

Katherine says:

Missouri’s good so is West Virginia, Kentuckey, Texas, Okalahoma, Kansas.nebraska, iowa, ohio,how about any state east of California ah…..just let them take a pick.

Katy lady says:

To Torn:

“When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time.” This is from a commencement address by Oprah Winfrey in which she cites a lesson learned from Maya Angelou. Wise words — please take them to heart!

Disgusted says:

Stephen Fowler has more than twenty years of experience in a variety of sectors including private equity, strategy consulting and energy development.

Previously Fowler was the founder of BoardSeat, a San Francisco-based strategy consulting firm. Before this, Fowler was a General Partner with Aspen Ventures, an early-stage venture capital fund based in Silicon Valley and before that a Senior Vice President with Berkeley International Capital, a later-stage venture fund based in San Francisco. Previously, Fowler was CEO of Chubb Parsi, an engineering firm based in Barcelona, Spain.

He has served on a number of corporate boards and currently serves as Chairman of ForestEthics, a San Francisco-based nonprofit environmental group, and Treasurer and Secretary of Pacific Environment, an international nonprofit environmental group.

Fowler holds graduate degrees from Cambridge University and London Business School. He is married with two children and resides in San Francisco. He speaks fluent Spanish and passable French.

Sara says:

His friends shouldn’t feel so bad. Even if he were to suffer some loss of employment, he could always do the Orbitz gum commercial.
“Dirty mouth?? Clean it up!”

Katherine says:

Okay this is their About us on Democracy in action.

DemocracyInAction.org believes technology can be a decisive force for social change. We exist to empower those who share our values of ecological and social justice to advance the progressive agenda.

“We’re a progressive nonprofit whose core activity is providing e-advocacy tools to other progressive nonprofits for pennies on the dollar relative to the fees demanded by the private sector.”Just what that’s all about confuses some folks, so what you need to know about us probably depends on where you’re coming from.

We’re a progressive nonprofit whose core activity is providing e-advocacy tools to other progressive nonprofits for pennies on the dollar relative to the fees demanded by the private sector. We democratize e-activism, freeing practitioners to pour resources into mission and strategy. If you’re a nonprofit who might want to use these tools, that’s probably what you need to know—and you can think about us as a service provider that just happens to be a 501(c)3, or as a mission-focused organization that just happens to sell “software as a service.” It’s up to you.

In our capacity as service provider, we offer cutting-edge communication tools enabling our member organizations to do everything from sending mass e-mail blasts to taking donations online. If you’re an individual who saw our address in a url, that’s probably what you need to know about us. Those emails are being sent by the other nonprofits who use our tools—we don’t take part in creating or vetting their email or their web pages as they go up—so if you have a question, your best bet is to ask the organization that actually generated it. DIA itself has a strict privacy policy and never shares or markets to its user organizations’ supporters.

Does all this sound a little too corporate and impersonal? Meet the DIA team.

What Our Service Does
The DemocracyInAction platform, Salsa, was designed to help advocacy organizations engage their supporters more effectively. We provide a flexible, online solution that doesn’t require any technical expertise, and which is designed to integrate easily with web publishing systems and offline databases. The tools were also designed for use both nationally and internationally.

Salsa builds the organizing capacity of nonprofits by offering an affordable, integrated, and easy-to-use service for:

Contact relationship management (CRM) through an online supporter database;

Advocacy campaign and petition;

Targeted email and communications;

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Want to see more? Sign up for a free trial.

Why We Do It
The Internet’s major innovation continues to be the power that it puts into the hands of the people who have traditionally stood outside the process.

However, many organizations—especially the 82% of public charities in the U.S. with budgets under $1,000,000 per year—face serious challenges in the area of technology, challenges they have difficulty addressing because they lack resources, staff time, and expertise. They also face critical financial pressures from increased service demands and decreased funding. While many have already turned to the Internet to recruit and engage supporters and to raise funds, sophisticated engagement and communications systems are financially or technically inaccessible to many nonprofits.

DemocracyInAction exists to change the calculus for the progressive nonprofit sector. It’s really as simple as that. We want to get powerful tools into the hands of good people and help them kick some ass.

How We Got Here
The organization was founded by April Pedersen and Chris Lundberg in February 2004. April and Chris come from both the nonprofit and software development sectors. Upon close examination of nonprofits’ use of information and communication technology tools, which sector controls them, and how much nonprofits were paying for them, they saw a necessity to change the landscape. The question they asked themselves was this: How can we use technology as a tool to support grassroots organizing efforts and enhance the communication efforts of hundreds or thousands of organizations, rather than generate more work and fees, depleting a narrowing pool of resources?

In the three years since, we’ve grown into a critical progressive nexus, providing communications tools as a shareable technical resource for hundreds of other nonprofits.

Financing
DemocracyInAction is funded by a mixture of service fees from the organizations using our tools, private grants, and individual donations. You can become a DemocracyInAction donor here.

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Katherine says:

Correct!

Marcy says:

Here’s what Hollis wrote on her blog. BTW… she’s psychic – shouldn’t she have predicted that going on the show was a mistake?

Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wife Swap, or The Global Village Still Has Mobs
So my friends, Renee and Stephen, were one of the couples on Wife Swap (TV show) last night. Stephen is from the UK, Oxford-educated, with an MBA and a Masters in Environmental Studies. He is a naturalized US citizen (which means he consciously chose to beome a citizen, unlike those of us who were just born here), but of course retains his accent and, more to the point, his acerbic British wit and reserved demeanor, which mostly expresses emotions verbally. He does not suffer fools, not gladly, in fact, not at all.

‘Wife Swap’ is set up to foster conflict, so, of course, the woman who was his new ‘wife’ was not especially intelligent, and had only a high school education. Very good hearted, though, and persevering. I guess “an idiot” telling Stephen what to do is a hot button for him. Stephen took the bait — hard. You got to see very little of how good he is to his kids, how smart and talented he truly is, and a lot of him dissing this woman for being “overweight, under educated and over opinionated”. [Everything in quotes are Stephen's words, or at least his words, as best I can remember them.]

As the show was aired across the country, Renee and Stephen began to get hate calls from each time zone, until they finally had to unplug the phone. Renee’s email box began filling up with hate email. (I was at their house to watch the show with a lot of their other friends.) Stephen had to take down his Facebook profile. By the time the show was over, someone had called his boss’ cell phone to ask him to fire Stephen. A few minutes later, another friend, a former business partner of Stephen’s, was answering nasty phone calls on Stephen’s cell phone (Scott was pretty funny, so this was actually hysterical, even though I only heard one side of the conversation). By this morning, there was a Facebook page, entitled “Go Home Stephen Fowler” (leaving aside that he is at home, as he is a US citizen). By this afternoon, someone had published a street address for them, and someone in the Bay Area was sugggesting that they be picketed.

I am beginning to worry for their safety, at least for Stephen’s. And what I’m learning is that

forget privacy — information about all of us is ridiculously public, and

the global village still has mobs — I’m still waiting for the pitchforks and spears.

Posted by Hollis Polk at 9:48 AM 0 comments

Washington Liberal says:

It appears that TERRANOVABIO.COM and ZOOQNET.COM are registered to Fowler, I don’t think the others are.

Disgusted says:

aaaccckkkk it’s still uploading! i have no CLUE if it’s going to work or not. if not, tomorrow I will make a short compilation of clips and post those, same youtube id, same video name.

Katherine says:

Thankfully I’m not a friend of his. And yes that’s how I read it, as a complete opposite of the man. I wonder how much longer all these associations are going to want to remain associated with him?

It’s this very hypocrisy that has made me a very cynical devoted no party declaration. It’s bad enough I have to smile and work for some of these very people.

Disgusted says:

Ok, NOW it’s processing, so let’s see. It’s not fully processed yet, but should be at some freakin’ point.

Here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vYX__AbVCw

Disgusted says:

Ms. Kharma, don’t you think they can get it themselves? I bet The Soup will have something good about it, they make fun of Wife Swap almost weekly….

dudeguy says:

It’s ok to have a comment.

cincy says:

hmmm… wonder if this hulabaloo will make “good morning america” this a.m.? interesting. betcha it doesn’t. but, then again, who knows?

all you have to do is remember how mr. fowler’s face appeared. very stressed and very uptight. he needs help. major help. sad to see.

i hope something good comes from all of this. i wish i could find out for sure where the longs live. i would write them and tell them they were better behaved and showed more breeding/character than the “other” did. maybe someone will give their kids college scholarships because of all this nastiness!! wouldn’t that be nice?

i just hope mr. f. gets some help. he is in dire need of it.

Disgusted says:

don’t write them at their home. that is encroaching. write them at the business email address posted above.

Disgusted says:

So, after four hours of uploading etc, the powers (assholes) that be have already deleted the video. Practically the moment it hit…so Loralee, your blog is being read by Friends of the Foulest of them all!

Pissed in WI says:

Anyone want to see a real British human being needs to look no further than my personal hero, Joe Strummer! I just finished watching “The Future Is Not Yet Written” about this amazing diplomat’s son. Check it out! Still very sad he’s gone – but what a mark he left!

Would love to see Mr. Fowler go up against the hard core punk scene in London in the 70’s.

JoeInVegas says:

Wow – 195 posts, you hit something with this post. and long comments too.

disgustedinSF says:

I wanted to add that Stephen Fowler’s behavior can not to be blamed on his British background. The blame should be placed on Stephen and the attitudes he possesses and demonstrates.

Go to the UK, you will meet warm, friendly, kind people just like we have in the US, just as you would find in every country on this earth. You might run into some blowhards as well, they make their homes all over the world, unfortunately.

disgustedinSF says:

Mr. Fowler should also remember that it was our military that formed the United States of America. Has the US made mistakes using our military? Yes. Has the US military performed a lot of good works all over this world? Yes.

FYI Mr. Fowler the US military contains all different types of people, from trained workers to Ph.D.s. Many people in “lower classes” (and other “classes” for that matter) choose to go into the military to better their lives and the lives of others. I bet you look down on Harvard trained neurologists because of their time spent in the military and giving back to their communities and their country. I would be proud of my son if he decided to join the military. My family has been serving this country in many capacities since the revolutionary war, including the office of presidency.

What would you prefer Mr Fowler, that the US didn’t have a military? What do you think would happen to not only this country, but also Mexico and Canada if we didn’t? We have a huge wealth of resources in all three of these countries that would be available for the taking if we didn’t have a population willing to VOLUNTEER for the military and defend our country. The fact that we have such a large military is defense, they don’t have actively shoot people trying to get into the country to defined as defending our country.

Drew says:

I just saw one of my posts from the ABC WS site that was deleted. For those that are interested, here is the whole exchange. I wonder why ABC deleted ALL my posts.

> From: Drew
> Date: January 31, 2009 11:56:01 AM PST
> To: skagan@pacificenvironment.org
> Subject: Please
>
> Ms Kagan,
>
> Please view the Wife Swap episode that aired Friday, January 30th.
>
> This show speaks for itself. For your organization to keep him after this truly, profoundly distasteful performance will reflect VERY poorly upon Pacific Environment.
>
> Thank you for your consideration,
>
> Drew XXXXXX

THE RESPONSE:
from David Gordon
to drewxxxxx
date Sat, Jan 31, 2009 at 3:17 PM
subject Re: Please
mailed-by pacificenvironment.org

hide details Jan 31 (2 days ago)

Reply

Dear Drew,

Thank you for your message and sharing your concerns about Stephen Fowler’s behavior on Wife Swap. Thank you for bringing this to our attention. We would never condone the behavior on the show that you describe, and it absolutely does not reflect the values and ideals of Pacific Environment.

I want to assure you that Pacific Environment was in no way involved with the taping of the show. We will research your concerns and forward your comments to the board of directors to discuss and deal with the matter.

Pacific Environment works to protect the living environment of the Pacific Rim. As an organization, we are dedicated to supporting local communities working to protect the environment; we believe that we should be working to build common ground and consensus about what needs to be done to protect our planet.

Thank you again for your message and raising these concerns. I just want to emphasize that the behavior you describe does not reflect our values.

Sincerely,
David Gordon

Ms. Kharma says:

Nice to see people aren’t just letting this “blow over”.

Disgusted says:

I did find one clip on YouTube called Stephen Fowler is a douchebag…it was his clips with a douchebag song being sung and douchebag written all over the…well…DOUCHEBAG!

Disgusted says:

Farmgirl? Don’t let a loser like FOULer bring you down.

You see, it’s not about him being British. It’s not about him being intelligent. (Though I do have another name that we in the Bay Area would recognize, Hans Reiser?). It’s not about him being anything better than any one of us.

It is about he himself, being a first class loser. He is the scum of the earth. Truly, after watching something like that, how can you do anything other than consider the source?

The source is a troll like bitter little man with an over inflated ego and egregious lack of empathy and manners.

Where you live sounds awesome! You are probably smarter than a lot of us still here paying ridiculous rents for small spaces and struggling just to pay the bills! I stay here because my family is here, and, if you take out 50% of the Fowler type people, it’s a beautiful place to live. If my child were still small and my family had a farm for over 100 years I’d be outta here in a heartbeat!

I wish they had put that Roller Derby physician mom from Seattle they had on a few weeks ago up against Fowler. Now that woman was smart! She too was paired with someone ill equipped to argue on her level, but she was good about it. A true healer vs. Fowler. She probably would have had him brought in for a psych eval at rule change.

Enjoy your child and peaceful life where you are and remember, no one is any better, and some are worse. You saw it this weekend. Just raise your son as the anti Fowler and that will be a huge contribution to society!

moosh in indy. says:

So this is still going on, huh?
Bet that’s fun for you.
I’ll just be over here eating potato chips with nary a hint of reality television or douchy british men anywhere in my life.
Jealous much?
xo

chery says:

Trees Unite! I was taken aback while watching this episode. I beleive his wife is most likely abused by him, she should have taken a stand at the table instead of covering up her face, yes I would have been mortified. Poor Gayla, she took it though and she made it through her time with those awful people! I hope his kids get out before they end up like him. I think people like that try to be superior because deep down they know they are not. I hate bullies and SF is one of the worst! In a perfect, fantasy world, a tree would reach out as he walked by and grab him, like in the Wizard of Oz, and give him a big, TIGHT hug! Nice comments by all, very entertaining!

Disgusted says:

I think they found it that fast because of two reasons: 1. Size of file, it was HUGE. 2. A FOULer friend went to the clip and reported it.

Myrori says:

Now you can were tshirts with a message, a message to Stephen that America does not want him!

http://www.cafepress.com/StephenFowler

Stephenisanass says:

He would not have had to appologize several times if he wasnt such an ass!!

Farm Gal says:

I want to thank everyone for your kind responses. They brought tears to my eyes.

I think that just writing the post helped.

Disgusted says:

P.S. I LOVE the British. I have known the most lovely British people, they are amazing. He is just a jerk of the ordinary garden variety human jerk.

Disgusted says:

Ok, I just made myself sick watching The View. Joy Behar, whom I actually used to like, is Stephen Fowlers soulmate!

K1T says:

WHAT HAPPENED ON THE VIEW? DID SHE BRING UP FOWLER OR JUST SAY STUFF LIKE HIM? I’M CURIOUS.

Ms. Kharma says:

BTW folks, Hollis Polk’s blog is back up and whe has something new to say. Tell her what you think.

[url]http://10minutesaday.blogspot.com/[/url]

jojopug says:

To “Torn associate of the Fowlers”,

I hope that Mr. Fowler does not read your writing as your failure to know the difference between “their” and “there” would most definitely induce his wrath. He would probably refuse to speak to you and you would no longer be considered an “associate”.

Any man who openly discloses his GRE scores to defend his putrid behavior is seriously disturbed. GRE “verbal” scores are based primarily on how many vocabulary words a person knows. I do not believe that the ability to memorize or pick up those words from one’s primary culture makes someone intelligent, let alone a genius. But what do I know? I’m just a dumb midwesterner (with an Ivy-League education). What I do know is that I don’t feel the need to disclose my GRE scores.

I sincerely hope that Mr. Fowler represents no one in this country or in any other country.

Disgusted says:

Look up ‘foul’

Disgusted says:

The above is from Polks site

sailordave says:

I can’t post on her blog so can someone post this message on her blog for me please?

Hollis Polk

You are among his peers, people he considers his equal. You do not judge a man by how he treats his peers, you judge a man by how he treats those he feels are beneath him. What we saw in that episode is the true Stephen Fowler. I have to ask you, if in your friendly gatherings, do you and your friends also talk down upon America and the men and women who serve in the US military? Do all of you laugh at such cutting remarks as soooo funny and sooo true or do any of you ever speak up to defend the country and military from such statements as he made on the episode? Did you and your friends sit around laughing at the way Stephen treated Mrs. Long and the things he said to her or did any of you chide him for his being so verbally abusive? Don’t bother to answer me because it will probably be a lie. But you cannot lie to yourself. Answer the above questions for yourself truthfully and take a close look at yourself and those you consider your friends. Do you really want to associate with people who hate this country and those who volunteer to serve in the military?

Britabuse says:

Please- don’t encourage him to move to the Midwest- we really don’t want our gene pool tainted!!

Disgusted says:

Here is what I left on her site…I can’t remember how to sign into this ID on another blog so the new name:

Blogger AreYouSERIOUS? said…

Ms. Polk;

You say you did not participate in the Swap, nor did you say anything mean. I beg to differ on the second statement. You had plenty ‘mean’ to say. You were rather derisive toward the other wife.

I was on a reality show, I know about the editing. The kind of editing you and your ‘friend camp’ are claiming simply didn’t happen. I am doubtful ABC put clips of the children into shots of Stephen FOULer being horribly insulting and rude to Ms. Long. That would open ABC up to a grand lawsuit. He said those things Ms. Polk, he was horribly condescending, and he showed his inherent stupidity and rather common coarseness.

These shows ARE totally engineered toward conflict. That is why each week there are spouses who kick up a fuss about ‘rule change’. FOULer should have known this being as ’smart’ as he is. He should have known that every word is recorded, every deed. He signed the contracts, did he bother to READ them? He should have thought beyond his own selfish desire to put down another human being, and put his family first.

As to Renee, while I did see a bit more compassion in her, her statement about not being a Proud American is really below the belt. No, she should not be a proud American based on an accident of birth.

She should be a proud American because we live in a free country. Because there are American’s out there willing to fight and die for Renee’s freedom to make an ass of herself. Did you know, Ms. Polk, that Americans are the most generous people in the world? Did you know they help more people around the world than any other country? Did you know any of this?

You can take the snotty liberal San Franciscan view and spout off about Gitmo etc, but that stuff bores the crap out of me. Know why? NONE OF THE COUNTRIES IN WHICH WE ARE ENGAGED FOLLOW A NO TORTURE TREATY! While I abhor the necessity of torture, at times it is necessary.

Let me ask you Ms. Polk? Let’s take this out of the Global arena into a smaller personal dilemma. If you and the people you loved most in the world, were being held hostage somewhere, and were going to be slowly and painfully killed off, would you not do anything you could to rescue them? If you had a chance to capture one of the captors, and he was refusing to talk, and you KNOW your little sister or mother is being raped, your father beaten, and they are all going to be killed in the end, are you telling me you wouldn’t do what it took to make him talk? Bullchit. I would beat the crap out of anyone before I would allow them to cause harm to my family.

Want to ask who else plays fair, as we are expected to? Ask Daniel Pearl how fair they play. Oh right, you can’t. He was beheaded. Unfortunately, in war, it’s not the ‘players’ being injured, murdered, it’s the innocents. When 9-11 occurred, and it did, many INNOCENTS were murdered. Yes, as many innocents abroad are as well. No matter what the country or culture, there are always awful people out there to whom life is negligible, and who would slash our throats without a second thought, merely because we are Americans. No amount of reasoning would ever deter them from their ultimate goal of killing as many innocent Americans as they can.

Some of us understand this, some of us can see the larger picture. Some of us know that protecting our way of life is essential to keep our freedom. You enjoy your freedom, don’t you? You must, you are running this blog.

San Franciscans believe themselves to be so enlightened, when instead of late, they are becoming a blight on the butt of America. They are an embarrassment with their radical leanings, their ridiculous Mayor and liberal DA. San Francisco and the far left people inhabiting it are making the City a laughing stock to the rest of this Country, and attracting the worst of the lunatic fringe to move there.

Yet, you all are the biggest bunch of hypocrites I have ever experienced in my lifetime. History will out SF for what it is, a bunch of misguided misfits with no idea how to blend rational thinking with hopeful idealism.

Bring it back down to personal, and you can see how people like Stephen Fowler epitomize all that is ugly about the far left. All that is ugly about education with no heart. All that is ugly about denial. All that is ugly about superiority.

You want to change things so there are no mob mentalities in this world? Start with yourself, and start with you friends. You truly are judged by the friends you keep.

4:15 PM
Delete

Monica S. says:

Hi guys. I got wind of the blog on the abc site. Like most all of you, I was infuriated with Friday’s show. I have never been that riled before by anything I’ve watched, unless it was the news. I was in shock at first, then I wanted to rip off Stephen Fowler’s trouser snake and shove it down his throat. If that’s any indication of my fury…..We all understand the whole premise around the show, and we all seem to be making the same complaints and observations. Most of us anyway. I’ve emailed ABC, emailed Stephen Fowler, contact the local affiliate in San Francisco, etc. All of my stations relating to ABC have been blocked on all tv’s in my home, and I will not purchase anything from any advertisers that contributed to the show. I’m in the process of finding out who they are and emailing them. Like many of you, I find it abhorrent that a woman who purports herself to be a life coach for overweight persons is married to someone who finds overweight persons to be repulsive and less than human. I would never feel comfortable going to her home knowing she had a husband like that. I was incensed by the show, not because I’m an overweight person, not because my family is a more refined version of hillbillies(HillWilliams :-) ), but because ABC allowed a woman and her family to be sumarily humiliated and dehumanized in front of 10 million or so viewers and they did nothing to stop it or intervene. What concerns me even more is that I am truly worried about the children. I truly believe there is abuse there. They looked so unhappy. I didn’t see any toys, and they seemed overjoyed to have friends over, only to have their father yell and talk abusively to the children’s guests! If he had yelled at my kid, I’d have ripped every one of his nearly rotten teeth out of his head. Sorry to anyone with bad teeth, no offense. I’m grabbing at straws here, trying to be as insulting to him as he was to his guest. But then I know that makes me as bad as he is. I don’t feel sorry for his bitch wife. She deserves whatever she gets for not defending her children and leaving that crap happy bastard. I think some of those Missouri boys ought to consider taking a road trip. I noticed how dark Mr. Long’s face got during the meeting at the end of the show. I really thought he’d reach out and touch Mr. Fowler, but was sorely disappointed when he didn’t. If anyone had treated my wife that way, or my husband, I would have dropped him right there. He should be afraid of someone coming after him. He should be very afraid. Does it make sense for someone who loathes this country so much to want to become a citizen? But he did it for us because he has so much to offer us. Puhlease. We need the INS and the IRS, and we need some heavy artillery, you know since we’re such militaristic fascists, as he stated. He has no idea what he’s done.

I’ve enjoyed reading all of the posts. Thanks to the blogger who started it all. Let’s band together in like mindedness. It sure is great to see everyone standing up for one purpose. The world still cares! :-)

Steve J. says:

I posted this in response to Hollis Polk’s new blog, so I thought I’d share it here too, since I’ve been following along =)

Blogger Steve said…

Dear Ms. Polk,

While I agree with many of the points that you make, I also hope that you reflect on some of the comments that Jager made. I think she/he makes some excellent points.

In addition, I’d like to offer a few more points.

1. “People are willing to judge someone based on very little evidence” — It seems that nobody commenting online has met the Long family (yourself included presumably), yet everyone is likewise making judgments about them, their intelligence, etc. So 42 minutes of (edited) television and 2nd hand accounts shouldn’t lead to judgments of their intelligence and justification of responses given to this intelligence.

2. “Once people have made up their minds, they don’t want to hear anything that contradicts their judgment” — It seems that you’ve made up your mind about Stephen and are completely excusing the behavior seen as a result of editing. The so-called “myside bias” goes both ways. I think the more reasonable respondents were surprised and even more upset that Stephen’s friends seemed to think that this situation was somewhat funny (from comments in the first entry) without any indication of being surprised or upset with Stephen’s comments.

3. “Loyalty is not valued” . I actually commend you for being supportive of your friends, especially since I’m sure this must be a difficult time for their family. Where one’s loyalties lie, however, is reflective of the character of the person choosing a side. It seems contradictory to believe in truth, tolerance, freedom, and respect for human dignity while having such blind devotion to someone showing so much oppression, exploitation, and domination over another individual

Disgusted says:

Hollis Parks claims to be a good friend. She claims to have been at the FOULer house to watch the show Friday night.

NOVAvirginia says:

There is a difference between being a part of one’s circle and being a friend. You can be a part of the “in” crowd, attend dinner parties and entertain people at your home without being their “friend”. It is all about networking and who you know and how you want them to see you. (Sad, but very true.)

Monica S. says:

Wow. Fowler can’t have friends. These people claiming to be friends can’t have known him too well. If they knew him, they’d know his character, opinions, and the fact that he wears his rectum on his face. It seems to me that he has acquaintances, people who aren’t too close, just close enough. Anyone got the number to child protective services in that area? I’m really worried about the kids. They deserve a chance. They aren’t responsible for their idiot parents. Oh, and what of Renee? She said when she is around her children too much she gets grouchy. What?! Kids drive us crazy for sure, but I don’t get grouchy around my kid. I love her. I’m just appalled.

NOVAvirginia says:

Disgusted….. I hope the site you just directed us to will stay online. I am sending it far and wide, as well as to many family and friends overseas….gulp, yes, in England. Mr. Fowler would be shocked if he knew who will see his performance! Many of his fellow Cambridge alums will find this interesting, as well as many Oxford grads! Let us see how they feel they have been represented.

Thank you for the information.

NOVAvirginia says:

Here it the response from “Magic Wheels” and Fulcrum Funds:

As a concerned U.S. citizen, we value your response to the recent ABC “Wife Swap” episode with Mr. Stephen Fowler that was aired on January 30th. We thank you for your email. From all of us at Magic Wheels, Inc. we are also outraged by Mr. Fowler’s statements and would like to respond to some of the concerns you expressed.

Stephen Fowler has no involvement with Magic Wheels, Inc.
We do not know Stephen Fowler.
He is not a representative of, nor does he have any management role with, Magic Wheels Inc.
We do not support his statements about the military.
We do not share his opinions as aired in the ABC Wife Swap episode on January 30, 2009.
We value the service of our military and our veterans.

The statement below is from Peter Kennedy, Founding Partner at Fulcrum Funds and a previous investor in Magic Wheels.

“Mr. Fowler was never formally involved with Fulcrum Funds and has not been involved informally (as an advisor) for over a year. I am working out of the country and have not seen the show but am deeply troubled by some of the comments I am receiving. There is no current association with Mr. Fowler and nor will there ever be one in light of these events.”

We at Magic Wheels work with the Veteran’s Administration and many Veterans around the country use our 2-gear wheels and experience the benefits of the product.

Gary Lieberg commented: “As a Vietnam Veteran and MAGICWHEELS user since 2007, I have great things to say about Magic Wheels Inc. I have visited the Magic Wheels shop on several occasions. I am constantly impressed by the high level of service and ethical standards that this company upholds. Mr. Stephen Fowler has obviously not walked in our shoes, when we could walk. His comments should in no way be connected to Magic Wheels, Inc.”

Magic Wheels Inc. has expressed our concerns to ABC and their local network affiliates as well as the producers of this show.

Please contact me if you have any questions.

Washington Liberal says:

@ NOVAvirginia

OOOPS, I see you already posted it – good job!

Washington Liberal says:

It seems Fowler has a lot of “brief” associations with companies. Hmmmmmm, wonder why that is?

Disgusted says:

wash lib? could it be ‘cos he’s …um…OBNOXIOUS?

NOVAvirginia says:

Having brief associations, such as consulting on one issue, still allows Fowler to include the business on his resume, inflating his credentials.

NOVAvirginia says:

FROM PACIFIC ENVIRONMENT JUST NOW:
I would like to follow up to the message you sent in which you raised concerns about Stephen Fowler’s behavior on the show “Wife Swap.”

Stephen Fowler has resigned from Pacific Environment’s Board of Directors and is no longer associated with the organization in any way.

NOVAvirginia says:

From Renee’s yahoo group. (the spin begins)

Dear Group,

I just wanted to express my deepest heartfelt gratitude to all of you for
your support after the show last night. I can hardly express how much it
means to me.

I would like to offer some behind the scenes information that might help as
well. We had not seen the episode before Friday and had no idea how it would
be edited.

First and foremost, my husband very much regrets how he behaved during the
swap. He is sorry for how he treated Gayla, he is sorry for insulting
middle America, and sorry about the whole thing.

He did not want to do the show but did it only to support me, but the stress
of it all got to be too much for him, and he had some extremely bad moments,
and all on film. So, it’s like having your worst faults, and your worst
behavior at your weakest moments put together into a show and all of the
redeeming bits excluded from that show. For the record, he is a dedicated,
loving, caring father and husband, has a great self-depricating sense of
humor. He never laughs so hard as when he is laughing at himself. None of
this made it to the the show.

Also, I could say nothing on TV. The last thing on earth I would do was go
on film criticizing my husband, life partner, and father of my children in
front of millions of people, especially when the ONLY reason he was there
was to support me. That’s not who I am. If I had something to say, I would
say it in private.

Regarding the proud to be an American conversation. That was highly edited.
For the record, I am proud of things that I have done, not things over which
I had no control. I was extremely fortunate to be born American, but I
didn’t chose it, it’s just how it happened. I do, however, greatly respect
and identify with many American values, and love the way of life. I have
lived in many countries and I chose to live in the US because I think it’s
the best place in the world for me to live. I LOVE living here. The
opportunities here are amazing. The culture respects finding and pursuing
your dreams, which to me is one of the most rewarding things in life. And
free speech has it’s upside too, most of the time!

My husband feels the same way about wanting to live in the US. That’s why he
chose to become an American citizen.

Know, as I think you do, that I have deep compassion for those stuggling
with their weight. I struggled, and have dedicated my life to ending that
struggle. With your support I can continue to do that. I hope that it’s
possible.

I am not checking email at the moment, but please know how much your support
means to me. It is a great treasure that I am surrounding myself with right
now.

With Love and Light,

Renee

and then she adds….

Hi All Again,

Again, thank you so much for your compassion and for giving me the
benefit of the doubt.

I forgot to mention that my husband sent a letter of apology to Gayla
shortly after filming ended on the main swap (before the follow up).
He was acting a role for the show, playing a game, and unfortunately
with the stress of the situation it deteriorated terribly and way
beyond what he planned. Hence the apology.

Also, I would like to point out that you can’t tell from the show what
I did when, even when I put my head down in table meeting-because the
editors spliced the sequences and a great deal of it is out of order.
It wasn’t as it appears. The table meeting was excruciatingly
painful for me. Almost as painful as what I’m going through now. For
example, I have a security guard in front of my house because of the
threats we have received.

Yet I know that the story isn’t over yet, and I can’t see how this
might turn out positively, but I am setting my intention that good
will come of it to far out weight the bad. At least I know the Long
family made some healthy changes to their lifestyle.

Love and Light,

Renee

NOVAvirginia says:

Kharma….”Resignation” sounds like “fired” in Virginia and England, too, so you are in good company! LOL!

Disgusted says:

I still maintain it is completely out of line for anyone to physically threaten the Fowlers, no matter how repulsive they acted.

Her letter is ok, with one exception. In only one scene, in the hallway when he wanted to meet with producers, did he show ’stress’. The rest of the time he was laughing in disdain of the rather simplistic suggestions Mrs. Long had. What did she suggest that was so horribly stressful? Hell, she even moved out to a hotel?

The man is a jerk, plain and simple. I doubt he laughs at himself, I’m sorry but I truly don’t believe it. I figured they may try to play this off as a colossal joke and that too, was hinted at in Renee’s letter.

I dunno. I am sure they hurting, but is a lesson learned? I guess time will tell.

Washington Liberal says:

Another question Renee’s excuses raise – if they are so educated and so refined, why did doing the show cause them such undue stress? How many families have done the very same thing (film Wife Swap) and not resort to such barbaric behavior?

Disgusted says:

ANOTHER FRIEND OF STEPHEN’S SPEAKS OUT ON HOLLIS’ PAGE:

7:02 PM
Blogger Damo Kawasaki said…

I applaud you, Hollis, for standing up to the mob. I know Stephen (the whole person) and the abc editors chose to show him in the worst light. He was baited to the point of exasperation.

And as for the deluge of sanctimony, what an atrocious spectacle, far worse than a few injudicious comments made by Stephen under duress and highlighted by ratings-whores.
Insulting people to their faces isn’t good behavior and Stephen duly apologized but of course that would lessen the shock value and so the editors cynically cut it out.

As for the mob, spewing mean-spiritedness disguised as piety, I’ll defend what he said:- give me a direct quote, tell me what you don’t like about it and I’ll explain why it isn’t as bad as it appears.

Peace!

Steve J. says:

Every time someone says something that seems to indicate the “Fowler camp” has some remorse, an ***hole comment like “Damo Kawasaki”’s comes out that basically negates anything positive that has come out. Nice job, tool.

sailordave says:

It kind of makes me wonder how many in the San Francisco and Berkeley area actually do hate America and it’s military. Well, I’m positive many in Berkeley hate the military. If they didn’t then why did their duly elected council vote to tell the Marines they were unwanted and unwelcomed intruders to their city and looked into legal means to evict them from their city?

sammo says:

googled that psychic lady, she works here. maybe they should know who she really is

http://www.hypnotherapycenter.com/cert_teachers.html

Nick says:

Those who believe that the editing process made the Fowlers look bad also believe that Barry Bonds never knowingly used steroids. In other words, no one outside of San Fran and even some within that city.

Disgusted says:

i like Bill, but if you aren’t a member of his site, your chances of getting his email read are greatly reduced. with his innate disgust for all things San Francisco, I am surprised he didn’t address it already. Are you sure he didn’t? good remind though, I need to put him on record.

i ask you all please keep sending news tips to ABC KGO TV (7) in San Francisco. They need to deal with this.

sailordave says:

Also, when doing a google search of Renee’s name I saw someone with her name on a list of Scientology. Do a google search of her name with scientology and see if you can verify if this is or isn’t the same person.

sammo says:

You know she’s there right now, she’s deleting comments.

jollyroger says:

Disgusted,
I don’t want the e-mail read on his show. But if a lot of folks start e-mailing this, maybe he mentions it on his “pinhead” segment. Join the campaign. Just email Oreilly@foxnews.com.

Disgusted says:

No no no Roger, I just meant the chances of the email being read AT ALL by anyone is greatly reduced if you don’t belong.

I will email him now.

CRKRMAN says:

Alas, Mr. Fowler is a US citizen, but, unlike those of us who are indigenous, was he not required to pledge allegiance, support and defend the constitution, bill of rights,…etc? It seems I remember something along the lines of “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men (and women) are created equal…..” Did he not have to, at minimum, give that statement a passing glance?

I moved to the Bay Area (not far at all from the Fowlers) a few years ago from Podunk, Oklahoma, and since I’ve been here I’ve seen quite a bit of this type of narcissistic behavior…. but NEVER on a scale such as that!

Who knows what was going on in this guy’s head, in treating another person the way he treated Mrs. Long. As far as I could tell, the only thing he has going for him is a well-announced test score that he used to bully someone else into feeling inferior to him…. and when that wasn’t working well enough to suit him, he enlisted the help of his kids…. Who does that?

If we are indeed seeing him in a skewed light, due to editing (as some claim) what do you suppose he did to the producer/editor et al, at ABC to cause them to target him as such an evil man?
Was it something he said?

handman64 says:

A few observations concerning the lesser of 2 evils- Renee Stephens. She claims to be a ‘certified life coach’ yet she doesn’t know how to operate a washing machine. Being self-sufficient is of the most basic life skills. Without the maid she can’t even take care of her own family. The family she stayed with would be among the first to pull over if her family had a car problem and needed help. Would her family do the same for them? What does that say about her? Her perception of those whose standards are beneath hers seriously undermines the sincerity she seems to approach her work with. She condemns the Longs hobby of riding vehicles that require fossil fuels but her families’ gratuitous use of jet airplanes leaves a far larger carbon footprint than a few ATV’s. The fact that she married Mr. Fowler COMPLETELY negates any credibility she may have earned becoming a ‘certified destination coach’. Indeed, everyone should aspire to produce offspring with an arrogant bigot. I know Mr. Fowler is a jerk but she’s getting off way to easily.

handman64 says:

Hey, Renee. Can you possibly step out of your autobiography long enough to see the hypocrisy of your philosophy? Your lame-ass excuses further erode any sympathy you may have gotten from me. As a life coach & destination coach, I would think the term ‘personal responsibility’ would mean more to a woman who claims to be so balanced & well-rounded.

Disgusted says:

You know, come to think of it, the usual life course of a scandal is short, given the amount of information and communication there is out there these days.

I was sitting here wondering why this still matters to me, and I just realized what is bothering me. The fact that no media outlet has addressed what happened! ABC, nor any other network, cable or written media has covered this almost unprecedented ground swell of opposition to the arrogance of this man.

Why hasn’t it been talked about? Give me a break! He was in the top 50 most Googled search terms last Friday, and that show came on at 8pm East Coast time! That means in a few short hours he riled up enough people to set Google’s search engine on fire…think about that! God knows how many signed on to the ABC message boards, but I know I posted a comment somewhere around ten pm Friday night and within 12 hours I had over 3600 people view it! That’s huge people…yet we hear a deafening silence from the media….shows their bias, doesn’t it?

handman64 says:

CRKRMAN I wish I were so eloquent. Well done.

handman64 says:

Mr. Fowler may have kicked-ass on his GRE but his emotional maturity is stunted at best. Not everyone can be a member of Mensa or a Harvard Law grad. Not everyone aspires to be. I applaud any individual who has the tenacity & mental capacity to attain advanced degrees. Not everyone is able to so. Instead of using his talents to empower & uplift, we have a petty, little man with the supposed knowledge of a 100 and the wisdom of an amoeba. Being well-educated, well-traveled, & well-off doesn’t automatically grant one sophistication & class. Mr. Fowler proves that all by himself It is unfortunate that his entire environmental message is completely obscured by the poison that oozes from that infected laceration just below his nostrils. It is confusing to me that a man who claims to be so worldly & well-informed has utterly failed to learn one of the most fundamental tenets of life- respect for your fellow human. I opted for a life without college after being raised by a man with same kind of supremely elitist mentality. Yet somehow, I am a reasonably intelligent, successful, goal-oriented asset to society. Imagine that, an articulate, grammatically correct, well-written letter conceived by an under-educated, inbred, dumbass, hillbilly, red-neck cretin from somewhere over yonder in Upper Podunk County Oklahoma. Yee-Haw! I must say, however, I am grateful for guys like Stephen Fowler. As a self-employed artist I have been fortunate enough to participate in dozens of art festivals throughout America. Mr. Fowler, I make most of my income off of dicks just like you. Furthermore, I am well that I may be a little smarter than the ‘average Joe’. It is because of this I feel it is essential to attempt to impart some knowledge to those I come in contact with. It seems your primary purpose is to tell everyone how fucking great you are. What a tragic legacy to be left by such a self-proclaimed genius. I pity you.

Pissed in WI says:

Hi All,

I subjected myself to this horror and watched the show again. What hit me the second time around was one of Renee’s comments in the beginning of the show – she said: “If I’m too much with the kids, it doesn’t suit my personality, then I start getting grumpy”. No wonder why Juliette has such dead, sad eyes. I never once saw this child try to engage in conversation – even with her mother when Renee pretentiously stated her favorite meal for her. Also, I never saw Juliette smile through the entire episode – or was that edited out too.
James, however, was pretty vocal about how he felt. He said he plays piano because his dad forces him too; then when they showed him in his little fencing outfit, Stephen said,”I’m not going to force him do it if he doesn’t want to” – then James said, “Yea, and I don’t want to do it and you say I have to do it”. Hopefully, as the true test of Kharma, he is going to give his parents a hard time when he’s about 15. I think he is going to be a sneaky, smart trouble-maker.

As educated people, they have got to think about the negative side of pushing a kid into hard core stuff. Do they even know what makes their kids happy?

CRKRMAN says:

Handman64,

Thank you! It’s all true, by the way (except for the inbred part) along with the facts that I work as a skilled tradesman and have a thick cowboy accent, somehow I don’t feel inferior to him… or anyone else for that matter. Well said, sir!

cincy says:

may i start off by sending a cyber-hug to “farm gal”. may God bless you and sunshine come your way. i think you made the right move to return to a bucolic setting.

okay, we have vented. i know i did on more than one site. i now think a dead horse is being beaten LOL seems like we have been met with a stone-wall from any media coverage so will not get our “day in court”! but i think mr. and mrs. fowler got the message. loud and clear. and i think we, here, are basically of one mind. he needs help, he needs to make some sort of amends and he needs HELP!! those poor children appear like step-ford children. almost robotic in motion. and they truly looked to be beaten down by the dad. not frightened but had a look of resignation in their eyes. as if it were useless to even bring anything up for discussion. how sad.

my main question is this: why would someone with such high self esteem even lower himself to go on such a show? wouldn’t this be totally beneath him? why would he agree to this?

to tell the truth this show is pretty much beneath me. last friday was the very first time i ever watched a whole show. and only by accident as i was reading a book and that channel happened to be on and here it came. then i noticed the first obnoxious remark and i put down my book and WATCHED THE REST!! the show is tacky. sorry. (most reality shows are to me) but i know people who watch it and i sure don’t put them down for it. i truly cannot figure out why this brilliant better-than-anyone egotist would agree to be on it. and not be educated enough to know how he was coming off to the entire world of TV!!

their defenders are amazing. sure not too many of them out there. hmmmm. and hollis seems a bit “different”. oh! i know why!! sorry. i forgot i am from the midwest and not too bright. sor-eeeee!!

i cannot find what town the longs live in. i would love to write them a letter
of support.

oh, and for those who sort of picked on the long’s weak points, i do understand their life-style wasn’t/isn’t the best. but it is THEIR lifestyle and they DO live in the land of freedom and choice. i am overweight. not from fast food either. good food… just too much LOL (i don’t paint ball or go-kart…. too old at 74!!) yep, not big-macs… more like prime rib and baked potatoes.

so if someone knows what the little town is that the longs live in please post it.

i, too, have been in the UK and met such lovely warm folks. i lived in the bay area (just above santa cruz) for over 40 years and never met such arrogance. now i am a simple uneducated mid-westerner. sigh.

lovingnana says:

After twice attempting to post a link to Fulcrum Funds’ disavowal of Fowler on the ABC Message Board and twice having it instantly removed from that site, I am hoping that adding it here, instead, might succeed in calling people’s attention to their statement … it can be found at:
http://www.fulcrumfund.com/manage/

cowgirlbob says:

First of all, hugs and love to Farm Girl and Pissed in WI! We should start a sisterhood!

I have mixed feelings about Renee. I’ve been listening to her podcasts and been a member of her Yahoo group for awhile, way before the show. I think that what she says has real value, but now there is obviously a shadow and I certainly question her sincerity.

I do think she is abused. Like others on this list, I’ve been there. The classic story, raised by a controlling, abusive father (much like Stephen) then married a controlling, abusive man. The last straw was when he took all the money I had out of my purse in front of me and told me there was nothing I could do about it (he was unemployed, I was working). He was right. I attempted suicide that night and almost succeeded. I coded in the ambulance on the way to the ER and ended up spending several days in ICU followed by almost a month on a psych unit. After that little episode, I gained a lot of support from my friends and family (of course they had no idea about the abuse, abusers are always charming around others) and was able to leave him.

Fast forward 25 years… I am now very happy, have been married to a loving, kind and gentle man for almost 15 years, and he adopted my children who are now grown. So to those of you going through this, there is hope and light, and there is change. It comes.

Which brings me back around to Renee. The residual damage that I carry with me is my weight. At the time I was being abused, I weighed 125. I now weigh 100 pounds more than that and have been as high as 240. So, ironically, Renee’s podcasts have been helping me address this trauma in my past and deal with it in ways other than eating. Through the podcasts, I have been inspired and motivated. And it has cost me nothing, the podcasts are free, so I have not put any money in her pocket.

So that is my dilemma. While I wasn’t crazy about how she came across on the show, I do feel in my gut that she is abused. Watching the show almost made me physically ill. Stephen pulling the son out of a sound sleep at night to do homework, forcing the kids to ignore and belittle their houseguest, forcing them into “roles” they want them to play… not to mention his abhorrent behavior towards Gayla. I could go on, but you get the idea. All in all, I would have more respect for Renee if she would leave him, but I don’t think she’s ready yet. And I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Perhaps she would be a totally different person if she weren’t around him. Sometimes we get so entrenched in the roles we play that we lose ourselves and lose sight of what’s truly important. There is obviously no hope for him — I don’t believe there is any successful treatment for narcissism — but maybe there is still a shred of hope for her?

cowgirlbob says:

Oops… I forgot one more point I wanted to make. In Renee’s message to the Yahoo group, it was obvious that she blames herself, not him. “He didn’t want to do it, he only did it to support me,” was one of her reasons for not addressing his behavior. Given his personality, I’m sure he blames her as well. I’m sure he truly believes that she made him look bad and doesn’t let her forget it.

Roberta says:

the sad thing is, that if Renee would ever be in the situation of gaining weight again (for whatever reasons, illness, pregancy etc.), her husband Steve would make her life a living hell.

Renee claims that the final meeting was “excruciatingly painful” for her but fails to say why. In that final meeting Stephen was STILL verbally abusive towards Gayla. I guess the pressure of seeing the Long’s just sit there calmly must have gotten to Stephen and caused him to abuse Gayla one more time.

Kathy@brazoscowgirl says:

cowgirlbob

I am sorry for your life of abuse, I know it takes years to recover from the damage it has given a person. My prayers are with you.

What bothers me about Renee is she never even after the two weeks felt the need to apologize for what happened to Mrs. Long. She had to know something at least from her kids.

Now that the public sees her actions, her husband’s actions she is still trying to enable him.

I don’t know which but I do know a person unable to run a washing machine needs more help from me than I could get from her on weight loss. There are a lot of women out in the real world that do much more than that each and every day.

HearkenSF says:

(P.S.: This is not to say that there aren’t plenty of turds in SF — there are! Elitist turds, at that. But even the ones I’ve met have thankfully shown themselves to be nowhere near as egregious as Fowler appears to be).

Val says:

Dear Gayla– You are so brave, beautiful, hopeful, and open minded. You didn’t deserve any of that wrinkled old creep’s nasty attacks. I hope you sue him for his constant tortuous psychological attacks and sexual harrassment, and sue ABC for egging him on instead of reigning him in. I’m fed up with what’s happened to you, and want to see him and ABC knocked down some notches so they don’t do it again to anyone else. I cried to see what horrific and undeserved abuse they put you through. It was not right, and I hope you take them to court for his biggest come uppance.

“Stay up!!”

–An outraged neighbor in San Francisco.

Disgusted says:

HarkenSF…that was me, Disgusted, who was railing against SF….I am in Palo Alto and have very strong feelings about the hypocrisy of many in the Bay Area. The antics of your Mayor, Gavin Newsom, Mr. Hollywood Wannabe, and your DA, Kamala Harris, who does not think applying the Voter instated Death Penalty for a cop killer carrying an automatic rifle is the morally right thing to do, does nothing but detract from real issues and help no one but ultimately, themselves. I am surrounded by much of the same here in Palo Alto, hypocritical self serving liberalism. I am sure there are many people like you in SF who know about balance and perhaps understand the bigger picture, but as in Palo Alto, I feel that balanced people are in the minority. The over the top mentality of SF is what is portrayed in the media the most, and echoed in local forums by people who wish to fit a certain West Coast stereotype without ever realizing that they are acting with conscious thought or gleaning enough knowledge of both side of an issue to make an informed decision. I’m sorry if I offended you, I do not usually generalized, but local events of late have left me feeling bruised and shaken. I simply do not understand where people are coming from anymore! Then along comes Stephen Fowler who epitomizes everything I eschew and it was like putting a match to the gasoline!

HearkenSF says:

Disgusted, thanks for your response. I know that match to the gasoline feeling well — I also struggle with that when something seems to encaspsulate all that I find wrong with the world. Watching Stephen Fowler definitely reiterated to me that I can’t really make sweeping assumptions about anyone — here’s a dude who might potentially, based on political and educationaly ideologies, run in a circle like mine, and yet it turns out I have nothing in common with the way he sees and treats the world. His hypocrisy was pretty shocking to liberal SF me, who was all ready to give this guy who seemed similar on the surface the benefit of the doubt! Anyway, I guess I should keep that in mind when I make assumptions about people who seem *not* to have anything in common with me on the surface, too. Peace.

Pissed in WI says:

Wow – it’s about time! I feel vindicated for my feelings with that post from Renee. Maybe this show was a blessing for that family and things will change. Looks like she had to do some hard core soul searching. I can’t imagine her embarassment watching this show with their friends. The whole thing make me cringe.

Pissed in WI says:

Thanks Cowgirlbob! We should start a little sisterhood – a sisterhood of survivors of life. My real name is Gina – in case anyone doesn’t like the Pissed in WI. By the way, I am doing well now – got a great hubby (he’s been through it all with me for the past 23 years)and I got a great shrink, which makes all the difference. Unfortunately, it’s dealing with people like Mr. Tree Hugger that exhausts me. Sometimes I think I am too sensative for the way society is, and I just climb into bed and you won’t see me for a while. Just need that escape to get strong enough to go out and hit it again.

cowgirlbob says:

@Gina

My last post was referring to your previous comment. I feel the same way about being too sensitive — sometimes I hide too. TV is kind of my escape sometimes and I think that’s why I had such an extreme reaction to this particular show. At first I felt like I was the only one who felt that way. Guess I was way wrong about that. :)

Serenity says:

Still waiting for STEPHEN to offer his OWN apology!

Farm Gal says:

I think it’s damage control…

I’m thinkin’, big party at Fowler’s for the big show. Having a good time. A little fun and drinks.

Ups… This all blows up.

Rene has had time to come up with a letter to help keep and get additional clients. Maybe some simpathy.

I’ll go back and read it again.

Wazzu says:

While her apology seems sincere, I have my doubts. This–as I’m sure most of you remember–is from her own mindforbody blog regarding Wife Swap (note the date and time of post):
———–
Aiks! The producers took some liberties fitting us into the stereotype they wanted, but hopefully it’s good for a laugh!

I hope you all will tune in for both shows!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
———–
She gives the impression in the blog that she has already seen the episode, does she not? But she claims in her apology that she had not seen it until Friday. Something’s fishy…

Ms. Kharma says:

Yeah…like they would probably totally call me out on the misspelling of my name. I wonder if my “hick” humor could pass as ass “British wit”? :)