Sideblog: The best complaint letter ever written

January 30, 2009

This letter of complaint was sent to Sir Richard Branson (the awesomely wealthy British dude who heads up Virgin), regarding the food and service on a flight taken out of Heathrow by a customer this December. Apparently, Sir Richard enjoyed it so much he personally called the man on the phone. (I know I TOTALLY would have)

This should give you a little taste of what you are in store for:

” So lets peel back the tin-foil on the main dish and see what’s on offer.

I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat there with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.

Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing.”

I am dying of laughing over here and I HAD to share it with you.

Go. Click. Laugh your ass off.

Stumble it!

10 Responses to “Sideblog: The best complaint letter ever written”

  • Molly says:

    That letter was the perfect thing to start my Friday. AWESOME. I want a crime scene bag cookie! that’s how I’m going to start packaging them now.

  • Best EVER. *googling baaji pudding*

  • Hey there! I commented on this last night but it could’ve falled into Akismet or something. As well, as I re-read your 1st paragraph which answered my question :) Forgive me, I was tired :)

  • Suzanne says:

    I love the pictures that accompanied the letter. Mustard?

  • linny says:

    My god, I haven’t laughed that hard since you sent me the “Monday” e card. I’m still laughing…

  • Tato says:

    The letter was funny; but I am mostly in awe of the grammar errors of some of those commenting on the issue. Please!

    1) could’ve falled — it is FALLEN !!!

    2) My god — God is written with a capital “G”

    3) I am dying of laughing — I am dying of LAUGHTER.

    Also, below — way below the “Sideblog”, there is an error of grammatical proportions: “Other stuff I wroted”. This is really bad! WROTED??? The past tenses for the verb to write is wrote and written. Thus, it should have been “Other stuff I wrote” or “Other stuff I have written”.

    English 101 for all please. And please note that English is not even my first language . . .

  • loralee says:

    Oh, Jesus Christ on a stick, Tato.

    I KNOW it’s wrong. That is why I did it. TO BE FUNNY.

    I state very publicly that I throw many grammar rules out the window as a particular writing style here. When I submit pieces for publication and the like I edit like crazy. Here? I don’t worry about it.

    I assure you, English 101 was taken and I even managed to get an “A”. Gasp!

    Frankly, I am “in awe” that you think that grammatical errors are so much more offensive than running around the internet publicly correcting people just to show what a smarty pants you are. It smacks of trying to overcompensate for…things.

    Heh.

    Yes, yes…you’re very smart.

    Now go away.

  • Oi says:

    Much worse than grammatical errors, are errors in common courtesy.

    Anyone can make a grammatical error, but it takes a first class douche to write half a sentence about the actual blog post and then several paragraphs about the grammatical errors in the COMMENTS.

  • I think it’s perfectly acceptable to say god in lowercase. A capital G kind of insinuates a higher power or name and I’m just not into commitment like that, yo.

    The part about the hamster is HILARIOUS. Love it.

    (Please note: Love it. Is not a proper sentence. Stone Me!)

  • Ain’t never gonna, don’tcha wanna, don’tcha hafta just shut yo pie hole?

    HA! Now try to count the grammatical errors. And English IS my first language.

    Thank you and goodnight.

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