I am fairly glad to see the back of 2008.
While I have certainly had worse years, and while there were some GREAT things that happened during 2008, it was not the best year ever and I exit it feeling rumpled, rundown, nauseated, tired and a little melancholy. In previous years, I have been pretty specific and gung-ho about the resolutions I wanted to happen during the following year. It made me tired reading back over them all.
I don’t have many goals and ambitions for this year. I would be totally ok having a ho-hum, humdrum year (that includes having a GIRL and buying PINK! Please?? Pretty Please?????)
However, I also know that when I have no goals, and no one and nothing to be accountable to I tend to hole up in my bed with my laptop and live in pajama pants subsisting off of Diet Coke and handfuls of Golden Grahams and Russell Stover’s chocolate covered snowmen (BEST CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER. THANK YOU, KAREN!).
So, I figure that I should at least write out a few resolutions to try and keep myself on track.
1. Get dressed, shower,MAKE THE FRIGGING BED, and make an attempt at hair and makeup every day. This is more difficult than one would imagine, actually. I’m tired of being such a slug. True, I feel worn out and icky a lot of the time, but I don’t think that turning into an slug helps matters. It helps prevent that when I’m dressed and showered and my bed is made to prevent, ya know, never leaving it.
2. Relationships: work on them. 99% of this falls under “things I will not blog about”, so let’s just leave it at that.
3. Cut back on how much I swear. I have noticed that lately I swear wwwwwaaaaaaaaay too much. It’s been a lot. Like, a LOT. I don’t really like the volume and amount that ye olde curse words have been rolling from my tongue as of late.
Don’t mistake me, I swear and I will continue to swear. I don’t plan on stopping completely because I like SOME swearing and I totally admit it. I just need to stop how much I curse and be more aware of my surroundings.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with some swearing so I want to be clear on why I’m cutting back. A few months ago a lovely reader (anonymous, of course) sent me an email stating that they were of the opinion that people who swear are limited in their vocabulary and intellect.
I disagree.
I know there are plenty of people ahead of me on the smarty-pants list, but I recited “The Jabberwoky” for show and tell in Kindergarten and was reading at a college reading level in the 2nd grade, so FUCK THAT.
(Oh, dear. I’m not off to a terribly grand start here, am I?)
4. Have this baby. Live through it. Feel ZERO pressure to have an “Orgasmic birthing experience” nor think that I am less of a woman for wanting to punch my husband in the manly regions instead of even thinking about having “The big ‘O’” during the most mind bending pain of my life. That’s pretty much self-explanatory, don’t you think?
5. BE MORE OPTIMISTIC. This is a biggie. I’m usually not even a “Glass is half-empty” type of person. I’m more like a “There IS no glass! The glass is a big effing LIE!!!!!!!” types. I think this isn’t totally awesome for my development as a person or fetal stress, so I’m going to work on it.
There you are, peeps.
My super awesome and amazing list of resolutions.
Enough of that.
Let’s make out.
P.S. That’s sparkling apple cider in the champagne glass, people. I had to ring in the New Year with SOMETHING.
P.P.S. Dude. I need a haircut before I get pulled over by the mullet police.
P.P.P.S Jon needs a new wardrobe. (Memo to me: remind him that there are other shopping options available other than the graphic t-shirt section at WalMart.)
FIRST!
I totally watched that show last night and was complete freaked out!
Nice resolutions and I think they are very doable.
I like mullets….and swearing. Oh My HECK!
Wait, there are other clothes at Walmart besides t-shirts of Tinkerbell and Hannah Montana and local sports teams? Really?
No, really though, you should go without makeup and make your HUSBAND’S resolution be: tell Loralee how fabulous she looks without makeup.
Do that.
Good resolutions. Hope you have a wonderful birth and your husband’s nether regions survive it.
Also, finger’s crossed for lots of tiny pink clothes in your future!
It’s Ali, not Alia by the way. Go me!
Um, it’s not a mullet unless all the hair from your ears forward is short.
Thinking pink for you! Will you find out before the baby arrives?
I’m making my bed – at least mostly. That, and getting dishes INTO the dishwasher.
About that Orgasmic Birth thing… I’d have to have felt anything down there through my epidural, so I’ll take a pass.
Hey, I like how you have one resolution for each weekday, leaving the weekends open to slovenly foulmouthed adventures. That’s good planning.
I hoping you see lots of pink this year and have the birth you want. I went for drugs, lots and lots of drugs, (pitocin is just nasty stuff) so orgasmic births I know nothing about. And really don’t want to.
Thanks!
Due to health suck issues, I may not be able to have an epidural. (I know. I am trying my best not to weep and wail here). So, I have been exploring other options just in case and a lot of people have emailed me about the new movement. Sigh.
I’m pretty sure I already referred you to Kerflop for epidural-free birthing advice, but in case I didn’t, that’s my recommendation.
Hot Damn! I wasn’t aware of orgasmic birthing. Once upon a time, I wrote a post that mentioned my cursing habits. Some wise ass left a comment along the lines, ‘i prefer to use my large vocabulary rather than curse.’ Whatever, I say. My vocabulary is plenty large with the plethora of ‘word of the day’ calendars I’ve been receiving since puberty. However, I prefer fuck to any word most days of the week. Give me damn over any synonym that allegedly references the same thing. I’m down with cursing. (Seriously did not intend to go off on a huge random tangent in your comments. SHIT! :) )
Ha! I love your blog because you’re just real and uninhibited. And there’s nothing wrong with one or two fucking swear words every now and then. The whole thing about swearing showing your intelligence is crap. Some of the smartest people that ever were (George Carlin comes to mind) swore all the time. It’s not the words that are bad, it’s the intent with which you use them.
Also… in almost 40 years of life, I’ve never once had the need to make my bed. There’s really no point.
I predict a girl for you. Sugar and spice and all that. :)
Pleasure and ecstacy during BIRTH?
OH HELL NO.
(And I rarely swear, but giggle like an 8-year-old when I hear it.)
That is a cute baby tummy you have there. I think. It’s hard to tell because it’s so tiny. :)
Forget walmart t-shirts the DI has better shirts. Trust me I was just their xmas shopping LOL
I have a blog post brewing about swearing, but for various reasons I cannot post it right now…
Cause you know I am all about the colourful language.
Now go and make your damn bed…
Making bed, showering, clothes and makeup take time. Time is money. It is when you work from home. Most of my clients don’t ever see me or the house. But hey, I don’t work from my laptop in bed. I have an actual desk. I blog from the laptop. With my feet up.
Happy 2009 my darling girl.
I like showering and makeup time, those are good things!!
you are not entering the mullet phase goofy girl. ;-)
I hope that 2009 is full of frilly, pink adorableness and joy.
love to you my darling friend!
Loving your blog. :) I might have to consider one of your resolutions for myself.. the showering, clothes, makeup, making the bed one.
As a mom to 3 boys myself, I Hope there is lots of pink in your future! :)
Orgasmic birthing. ahahahahahahahahaaaa! You know some MAN came up with that one, right?!?
Anyhow, totally pulling for you…
xo
b.
Happy New Year, babe. Hope it’s your best year yet :)
Great post, great resolutions. Though I’m never vocal about my resolutions, your second, third, and fifth are on my list this year. Especially with the twins getting to an age where they are going to start copying what I say more and more.
Also, there are other shopping options available other than the graphic t-shirt section at WalMart?? Where?! I thought that was the only place us guys could find shirts! LoL
Orgasmic birthing… Yeah. I don’t know that I would want to equate an orgasm with pain. I can only imagine the first time you have sex afterwards. Wouldn’t it be a bit post traumatic, etc?
Happy New Year! Your goals sound perfectly reasonable. Though I have yet to figure out how to make my husband dress the way I’d like…
That orgasmic birth experience thing? Creeeeepy. Probably the most disturbing episode of 20/20 I’ve ever watched. Scarred me for life.
So are you not like way more preggers than I am?
So therefore why do I look like I am due any farking day compared to miss skinny pants??
Oooh I eat to much crap right???
Hmmmmmm
So, will you be finding out the gender at your ultrasound or are you one of those “keep it for a surprise” people?
Your sister is in our ward. I just met her today! She’s great. Just thought I would let you know! Love your resolutions, and I can’t wait for the Pink!
Good ones. I have some good, creative swear-alternatives if you’re interested. My favorite? When you have the urge to say “Oh shit!” go with “Oh shhhhhhh…. ugar smacks!” instead!
A totally reasonable and attainable set of goals. And I must tell you I had not before heard of the concept of “orgasmic birth” which seems immediately to be the highest calibre of oxymorons.
Seriously with the orgasmic birth. Watch me drag my jacuzzi out to the middle of the woods and birth my baby.
Those women? TOO MUCH.
Awesome resolutions.
I’m with you on the swearing thing. It snowed completely out of the blue a few weeks ago while I was at my sister-in-law’s house. My nephew came in from outside and announced that it had snowed, and I looked out the window expecting to see that it had actually sleeted and there was just a little collection of white at the edges of the roadway (which is what usually happens here) So, when I look outside and see a winter wonderland complete with 5 inches of snow in the past hour, I was a little surprised.
“Holy shit! It fuckin’ snowed!” I believe was my exact wording.
When my husband got home from work later that night, our 3 year old approached him.
“Guess what, Daddy!” she says sweetly.
“What’s up, Gracie?”
“It fuckin’ snowed!”
….*stifling laughter*
It was incredibly cute, as it was completely innocent. Luckily my child is not a repeat-repeater. She repeats something once and we tell her that it’s not nice to talk that way, and she quits.
Sorry to rant – but yeah. Perhaps I should be a little more careful this year as well.
I had some resolutions. They were fairly vague, such as that I want to be healthier this year… But starting on the 2nd, life has gone SO far downhill that my only resolution is to make the rest of my year better than it’s been thus far.
ORGASMIC BIRTHING EXPERIENCE?!? REEEELY? How is it that someone thought we’d fall for such a thing?!? PSHAW. Shame on them.
I’ve recently realized that as soon as I’m away from my kids the swear-gates lurch open. Its almost as if every F word is built up behind those gates and I have to get them out as quickly as possible or lest I explode.
Happy New Year to you & the fam!
I still need to write my resolutions down. /sigh
Hmmmm….. well, you know how I feel about your “potty” mouth! I’m also with you on the whole sucky 2008, and not making resolutions! Good luck with yours!
Um… EW?
Orgasmic Birth?! Brought to you by a bunch of hippie freaks! Weirdos.
I think your resolution list is quite splendid. Especially THAT part.
“A few months ago a lovely reader (anonymous, of course) sent me an email stating that they were of the opinion that people who swear are limited in their vocabulary and intellect.”
I love when people say that. It means that clearly I’m an imbecile if I say that someone is a ‘quixotic motherfucker’ even if that person is wholly unpredictable and an asshole, if I add the word ‘motherfucker’ to the end for emphasis because really anyone that mercurial (whoops! there I go again!) deserves to be sworn at or about; then I’m an idiot.
Gah! Drives me crazy.
First of all, ORGASMIC BIRTHING?!!!! Who knew? Second, I think your resolutions are good ones and doable. Happy New Year, sweetie.
LORALEE. I will fly out there and kick your ass for not talking to me about this “other birthing options” thing. Do you REMEMBER who I am?? We need to have a serious chat. YOU are perfectly capable of birthing a baby without an epidural. Labor is not a catastrophy in which we “need to be rescued”. Consider it a blessing you many not be able to have an epidural because it takes away the pressure to completely medicalize your labor and birthing experience. It simply isn’t an option. READ “Birthing from Within” (while a bit on the artsy (?) side, it is beneficial). Or “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth”.
Since you do fall into that high risk prenancy category, I’m not suggesting a homebirth with a midwife!! I’m just saying that though “orgasms during childbirth” aren’t the norm- you CAN still have an amazingly spiritual experience, one in which you feel empowered, safe, transcended and loved. And I’m suggesting you explore those feelings NOW…so that when the time comes you will KNOW and have FAITH in YOUR ability to bring this baby into the world.
You will find that when the time comes you are not forced to go without an epidural but instead are actually CHOOSING to go without an epidural.
love you!!!
Well, I like the cursing but maybe that’s because it makes me feel better about my cursing habit. Unfortunately for me my husband is the primmest ex-Marine ever and not only rarely swears but didn’t get any tattoo….how did he marry me again? Good luck on the PINK and the birth experience. I prefer “natural birth” myself, part philosophy and part squeamishness of needles even after 40 hours of labor, but even I just about fall off my chair at “orgasmic birth.” I’m not going to bother to see the film, I will simply judge it as being about as realistic a depiction of typical birth as porn flicks are of typical sex.
Oh yeah, I do like Birthing From Within a lot though, and it addresses finding acceptance for births that don’t go as one wants. So if you are having trouble getting your hands on a copy, let me know and I’d be happy to mail mine to you. Alison tubospublic at gmail
Orgasmic Birthing Processssss??? Whaaa???
And your bod looks hot in that photo.