Once upon a time, in the far away, wild land of Utah, there lived a REALLY geeky boy with REALLY unfortunate eye wear:
And a REALLY chubby girl with REALLY unfortunate hair:
(They weren’t princes or princesses or anything. No WAY would either of them qualify. I mean…LOOK AT THEM for Pete’s sake! They were probably more in the stall mucker and scullery maid category, but since this is a fairy tale, we’ll just skip the drudgery of THAT reality for now.)
Anyway…
10 years ago today they left their chubbiness and geekiness behind got married:
(Ok, the scullery maid left her chubbiness behind. The stall mucker is still TOTALLY A GEEK. Which is fine as geeks are hawt. )
Either way, they managed to stay married despite rabid dragons, tulgy woods, evil wizards, foul smelling monsters, hideous trolls, pits of dispair, and piles and piles of manure.
(Which is pretty damn awesome, frankly.)
Wouldn’t it be lovely if their fairy godmother or Gandalf or someone decided they could just live in a land of gold sundrops and diamond ponies and live happily ever drowning in riches and eating bon-bons considering all the sludge-slaying, scullying and stall mucking they’ve done?
YOU’D THINK, HUH?!
The reality is that they will probably just have to keep on scullying and mucking till the end of their days until they find out that Social Security has been depleted long ago and they will have to supplement their meager retirement by working at Wal-Mart as door greeters and selling wrapping paper door to door at the holidays.
Yay.
Stupid fairy tales.
The End.
(THAT was a freaking FAIRY TALE???? WHO WROTE THIS THING, ANYWAY?? They SUCK at it!!! Boo on them! BOO! Rubbish! Filth!! Slime!!! Muck!!! Boo! Boo!! BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Seriously, though.
Happy 10th Anniversary, Jonathan.
You’re my very favorite stall mucker.
I love you.
Love,
Your scullery maid.
P.S. Forgive me for posting your high school year book photo. I WILL agree that the glasses in your photo are nifty because they are made of Titanium, but I just can’t bring myself to qualify them as “Totally awesome”. Sorry. Ten years doesn’t get you THAT much, babe.
Kaleigha says:
CUTE! Awesome story. Way to go!:)
December 19th, 2008 at 12:11 am
Julie says:
Wow, I am the first to comment. I am feeling pretty damn special at the moment, like I just won some big contest or something!
Happy Anniversary to the both of you and many, many more. You are truly a beautiful couple, and it is apparent that you are so much in love with one another.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:13 am
brobest says:
I’m sure his only response to this post is “as you wish”. Congratulations on your anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 12:14 am
loralee says:
@brobest Actually, it was more like a big sigh, eyeball roll and the statement, “You know you’re not supposed to drink when you’re pregnant, right???”
December 19th, 2008 at 12:15 am
Julie says:
Frick…Kaleigha beat me to the punch!
December 19th, 2008 at 12:20 am
Suzanne says:
You know what? The people who weren’t the princes and princesses end up getting the best end of the deal. They get the diamonds in the rough.
(Seriously. Have you ever gone to a high school reunion?!)
Happy Anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 12:42 am
Kelley says:
Happy Anniversary!
I think you both look hawt. But that is cause you haven’t seen what MPS and I looked like at that age… I was channelling Pretty Woman and he John Travolta. *shudder*
And that heckling totally reminded me of those old guys in the Muppets. And gave me the rolling giggles…
December 19th, 2008 at 1:21 am
loralee says:
@Kelly
TOTALLY!
“It was dumb, it was obvious, it was pointless, it was…short. I loved it! “
December 19th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Sue says:
Yay! Congratumalations! Although, I agree. That story totally sucketh.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:28 am
loralee says:
It’s true. I’m much too cynical to write fairy tales and mushy and I don’t tend to get along. The Grimm brothers have nothing to fear from this author.
Although?
My husband totally liked it, which is a total victory.
Sweet.
December 19th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Bridge says:
Jon is TOTALLY still a geek… probably more than before, but I am so thankful for his geekdome.
Congrats you two!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Heather P. says:
AAWWW! How Sweet!
Happy Anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 3:11 am
Rachael says:
Happy Anniversary! That is so wonderful!
December 19th, 2008 at 3:22 am
Michelle says:
“She was once a commoner like you. But perhaps you won’t find her so common now.”
Anything but!
Congratulations you two. Princesses have boring lives anyway, so much time spent looking right and not having any fun.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:55 am
Kathie says:
Aaargh, Jonathan’s high school photo could be my husband, only Jonathan has Marc down on the quiffy fringe front. The glasses are identical though!
December 19th, 2008 at 4:19 am
Kathie says:
Oops, PS Congratulations!!
December 19th, 2008 at 4:19 am
Vanessa says:
from one scullery maid to another: happy anniversary to you both!
i dig j’s high school photo :)
December 19th, 2008 at 4:28 am
Domestic Extraordinaire says:
I think big, ugly glasses were the norm. Like the cheekbones need to see!
Happy Anniversary to you both!! And Yay that the liked it!
December 19th, 2008 at 6:38 am
Vic says:
Happy anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Jamie says:
Happy 10th to you both!
p.s. you were so not chubby…stop it! ;)
December 19th, 2008 at 7:35 am
Missy says:
Happy Anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Tool of Satan says:
Congratualtions! Ten years of marriage is totally not for sissies. And the stable mucker knocked up the scullery maid yet again. Awesome.
December 19th, 2008 at 8:11 am
Ed Q says:
Yippee! Congrats on the BIG 10. Only 40 more to go
December 19th, 2008 at 9:15 am
lceel says:
Congratulations, Loralee. I hope you make it at least as far as SWMBO and I have. (June, 1977)
December 19th, 2008 at 9:18 am
PattyCake says:
In high school, I would have gone for him in a big big way.
December 19th, 2008 at 9:18 am
glittersmama says:
Happy Anniversary! Congrats on 10 years. Looks like the stall mucker scored big time.
December 19th, 2008 at 10:01 am
Rachel says:
AWwww!!!
Happy Anniversary adorable ones! ;-)
Love the fairytale ;-)
Didn’t you know that real fairytales begin after the I Do’s.
December 19th, 2008 at 10:03 am
SparklieSunShine says:
This is such a cute funny post!
Happy 10 year anniversary!!!!
December 19th, 2008 at 10:55 am
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas says:
Very cute! Happy Anniversary!!
December 19th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Headless Mom says:
Happy day!
You 2 are beautiful!!
December 19th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Erin says:
Wow! Who knew you’d make it this long? ha ha ha, just kidding! If any two people are suited for eachother, it is you and Jon! Congratulations to you both! Have a fantastic anniversary!
December 19th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Karen says:
Happy Anniversary, and here’s to a bunch more ten yearses of happy stall mucking and stuff.
December 19th, 2008 at 11:37 am
Suebob says:
Happy Anniversary!
I had awesome nerdy glasses too.
December 19th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
gm1971 says:
I think you two look great now and in the past. Of course for Jon, I mean that in the heterosexual, holding beer and sarcastic but well meaning way.
Cheers guys! Good on you!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Camille says:
At least his glasses improved with time!
December 19th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Jim says:
Awww…Happy Anniversary. My condolences on those glasses, but they were hot in the way back.
December 19th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
Mysticnocturne says:
Happy Anniversary!! May your years be long in the scullery and stable together! =)
December 19th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Pgoodness says:
Happy Anniversary!!
December 19th, 2008 at 4:11 pm
Angella says:
Yay for you guys! Happy Anniversary :)
December 19th, 2008 at 4:16 pm
bejewell says:
I don’t know what you’re talking about, those glasses were SWEET.
Glad you’ve made it to the big 1-0. Congratulations, maseltov, anniversary wishes and all that good stuff. You’ve earned it.
December 19th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
Kyla says:
You guys are/were so cute!
December 19th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Craig says:
Young Jonathan looks a bit like a young Dick Cheney, but I suspect that’s largely due to the glasses.
December 19th, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Jennifer says:
I think I had the same glasses. And same hair color. In high school.
Anyway, happy anniversary. Enjoy the big 1-0
December 19th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Melly says:
I think my hubby had those exact glasses before I met him.
December 19th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Maggie's Mind says:
Aw, so cute, the pair of ya’s. Happy Anniversary.
December 20th, 2008 at 1:33 am
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas says:
Congratulations. I agree geeks are HAWT! I think we need to put Homer and Jonathan in a cage match of geeky hotness and see who wins. Jonathan’s cute and all, but my Homer’s SOO got this in the bag!
December 20th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Sunday Linky Love says:
[…] and her husband celebrated 10 years of marriage. […]
December 22nd, 2008 at 12:25 am
Colleen - Mommy Always Wins says:
Aw, happy anniversary. (I kept reading that as mall stalker. I started thinking you met in a really interesting way…)
December 23rd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
mamalang says:
I just kept reading it as mall sucker instead of stall mucker. That made it funnier.
December 23rd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
mothergoosemouse says:
Happy anniversary! Beautiful wedding photo, and even more beautiful here-and-now photo.
And…um…your husband’s high school photo? Is really HOT. I swear.
December 24th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Al_Pal says:
Aww, happy Anniversary!
February 19th, 2009 at 7:29 pm