You never know what is going to happen when you go to lunch with Moosh in Indy.
You may end up vomiting your life story over sushi.
You may end up going to get a bangin’ (Yet EXPENSIVE) new ‘do like we did last year.
Or you may have the afternoon conclude by having hot wax slathered all over your floss-covered girlie bits and ripped out by an enthusiastic esthetician named Jen while you make unearthly sounds that sound like a chicken being gang-raped with a Renaissance flute by a pack of rabid dogs.
Or all of the above may happen.
She’s a wily one, that Moosh.
She can somehow make the most frightening things seem magically appealing.
Like dancing COLD STONE SOBER like two drunk sorority girls in a quarterbacks frat room bitch fightin’ over who gets to use the fuzzy pink handcuffs on the PRACTICALLY EMPTY dance floor at BlogHer while hundreds of people looked on at the edges with their cocktails thinking “DOOD! What the hell is with the Mormons?”
(Yeah. I know, I know, my LDS readers, I live in Utah, I don’t drink, but I’m inactive. Try explaining the difference to the masses of Gentiles. So, I go with the flow, people. Besides, do you have any idea how popular you become at BlogHer when you have cocktail tickets to give away? And yes, I do believe that we are trying to do-si-do while doing the Texas Star in that there fo-tee-graph. I couldn’t have asked to be dorky with a better gal.)
Where was I again?
Oh, yes.
Waxing of my nether regions.
Specifically, getting a Brazilian wax.
For those not in the know, a Brazilian wax is taking off EVERY BIT OF HAIR from your inner thighs, pubic area, vaginal area and, to put it as delicately as possible, the insides of your backside coin slot.
I’ve been thinking about doing it for a really long time. Since August 26, 1996 to be precise. That would be the day that I was in labor with my first born, the lights were blaring, my legs were in stirrups, and the fateful words, “We’re going to wheel in a mirror so you can see” were uttered.
Wheel it in they did. A big freaking mirror that showed my lit up girlie bits in all their glory.
I took one look and my brain started melting in horror.
“GOOD HOLY HELL! THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE?!! GAH!!!!!!!!!”
Seriously. My retinas were seared and I don’t believe that they have ever recovered from THAT sight.
So, I tried various things.
I tried Nair. (GAH!)
I tried shaving. (GREAT for like ONE DAY, then it feels like you are perpetually rubbing against a cactus.)
I wanted to do laser treatments, but things like feeding my family are more of a priority.
So? Waxing was left.
But I am a total COWARD.
Until NOW.
I did it.
I went Brazilian all the way, baby.
One moment we were driving down the road and Casey was telling me she only had an hour-and-a-half for lunch because she had a Brazilian wax appointment and the next, I was sitting next to her on a deliciously comfy couch, leaning against heart-shaped pillows waiting to be horrifically tortured “Brazilian-ed”. (The moment would have been a lot better if Tanis would have been home when we called to tell her the news. Btw, Tanis…Your mailbox is full, dammit.)
I am now as bald as a ping pong ball on my mons pubis.
Well, ALMOST.
Since this was a spur of the moment thing, I will have to have a bikini wax again in a few weeks to take care of the areas I shaved. I may not have ever had the bit-bit waxed, but I DO groom, people. That growth was too short for the wax to YANK OUT OF MY BODY so, I get to have a little revisit later down the road.
So.
The question that I would be DYING to ask if I were you and reading this bit of pubic hair drivel.
WHAT WAS IT LIKE????
I am not going to lie.
If you embarrass easily? YOU WILL BE EMBARRASSED.
They get a good long look at EVERYTHING.
I think my OBGYN hasn’t seen NEARLY as much of me at this point.
You have to contort, bend, pull skin back and have your petals of preciousness spread very open to the eyes of the person holding a wax pot in her gloved hands.
Luckily for me, I have boundary issues and have birthed three kids and have spent decades changing in front of people in theater, so this wasn’t a biggie for me.
The pain, though?
THAT WAS A VERY BIG FRIGGING DEAL.
It was PAINFUL at times, people.
PAINFUL WITH A CAPITAL “P”.
Casey took great delight standing outside the door for a segment as I screeched out loud exclamations of pain after each rrrrrrrrrrrrrip! It was kind of weird. I was trying to have this conversation with the esthetician as she spread the wax and put the cloth strip on. Then there would be a big pause where she knew it was time to rip the strip off and I knew she had to do it.
“So, you used to weigh almost 300 lbs?! How did you lose the weight?”
“Well, I was 19 and I had a gastric…”
…RIP!!
“HOLY FRACKING FREAKING FRACK ON A FRACKING FREAKING ROOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“You had a gastric bypass when you were 19? Is that what that scar is from, then?”
“Yes. I had it done so long ago that they weren’t really doing laser…”
…RIP!!!
“SWEEEEEETTT BABY JESUS ON A TRICYCLE, BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“…surgery yet. So, I am stuck with this massive scar…”
…RIP!!!
“#(*&@$#*()*@()&)*$#()*#!)#*@)$#*(&R%*#&$*@)#*(@)I(@_*$#(_#$&*@_!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“How are you holding up, Loralee?”
“Well, to quote Oprah, “My va-jay-jay is PAININ’!!!!!!!!!!”
At some point, I stopped the exclamations and ended up just gurgling and snorting incoherently out of my nose.
The worst was that I didn’t know when to brace for the really bad pain. Areas that I really thought wouldn’t be a big deal were a level 11 on pain. It hurts the most at the fleshy front part. Weird, huh? I wouldn’t have guessed that would be the big owie area. Luckily, this is only two wax strips that are really bad. The rest are much easier to take.
The interesting thing is that the areas that I really expected to hurt the most, didn’t. I was very concerned about my backside (which for the record? Is the area I was very most excited to be hair free. I wasn’t wrong.). It barely phased me.
I was also VERY concerned for the tiny area of YEE HAW! that god allotted us females. If my clitoris got waxed off, I was going to be really pissed off.
It was fine. YEE-HAW! still intact and it didn’t even hurt that much.
Whew.
After I was done, I was sweating like I’d run a mile because I my body had been really tense for a half-an-hour. Jen told me I did “REALLY well” for a first timer and gave me a pat on the back and a gold star on my forehead and I limped out to pay the reasonable $50.00 fee plus tip.
It was a painful 2 hour drive home.
I still had bits of wax on my skin that would stick to my jeans on occasion. Worse, I had a performance that night and it. was. hell.
The only thing that made it bearable was getting to tell my story of woe to my fellow caroler, Laura, who noticed my face contorting in pain every time my hoop skirt got jostled. She laughed HEARTILY at the whole story, which made ME feel much better. I love making people laugh. Just in case you didn’t know.
(Although, I feel so bad. Laura and I went to college together and she just discovered my blog and has been reading it backwards. Her nickname is “La” and she JUST told a friend how she wanted to have a sign in her house that said, “FA-LA-LA-LA-LA!”. THEN, she read my post about me wanting Jonathan to “Lay me down by the yule fire and Fa-la-la-my LA”. I think I pretty much ruined that saying for her for FOREVER and could have quite possibly driven her to the brink of mental insanity with the imagery. Sorry, La! You know I love you! I’m such an awesome friend. Sigh.)
After my performance I had to meet Jonathan to attend a party. A very elegant, wonderful party held in one of the most beautiful houses I have ever been in. I was in a lot of pain. By the end of the night I inched over to the gorgeous bathroom to check things out and my jaw dropped. I pulled Jonathan aside in panic looking for sympathy for my hoo-hoo plight.
“OMG! Honey! My poor little kitten IS BRIGHT, FLAMING RED!!!!”
“Hey, it IS Christmas. We could pretend that it’s like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and it could TOTALLY guide my sleigh tonight.”
I have such an understanding spouse.
My girlie bits looked really woeful for a couple of days and stayed really tender to the touch until today.
Now?
IT IS FREAKING HEAVEN!
It was totally worth the pain. TOTALLY. And although it was pretty bad, it wasn’t AS bad as I imagined in my head. The worst of the pain was short and I know it will never hurt as much as the first time again. I am going to absolutely, completely and in all other ways, keep it up. I will absolutely get laser treatments down the road.
Even though it was a total given, Jonathan LOVES it.
I love it.
I love the way my underwear fits.
I love that I feel a million times more hygienic.
I love that nothing catches on anything when I stand up, sit down, or fight! fight!! fight!!!.
I LOVE the silky, silky, SILKINESS. (NUFF SAID)
And?
I KNOW I’m going to love it on my anniversary this weekend.
Heh.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
You know, guys read your blog.
OK. Just kidding. Interesting information there though, gotta admit.
I didn’t know you could get lasered down there. I suppose you can get lasered anywhere there’s hair, so I guess I just never thought it through.
I bet it feels good now too.
I’m so excited for you! As a long-time Brazilian wax advocate, I’ve been trying to talk my best friend into getting one for AGES. Just last week I got a text from her that read, “A sweet little Asian lady just told me to get on all fours. I am Brazilian waxed.” I laughed out loud, of course, as I am a sympathetic friend.
I can attest to the fact that it hurts way less after the first time, and the redness and sensitivity is a lot less intense. Great post!
I couldn’t stop reading this post even though it hurt my vagina with each word. I had sympathy pains!
I really hope I don’t feel that way when I read about the birth of your next child.
;-)
Oh my heck Loralee! I relayed your conversation to T and we laughed, very very heartily. In his words, “Ba-zing!” Love ya!
#
sovknight: I know. It’s a little “Out there” as far as TMI, but dooood! I did try to warn you! GRIN.
Georgia: I AM PRAYING IT HURTS LESS.
sizzle: I have a feeling that I will probably just say, “TA DA! HERE’S A PHOTO!” and that will be it. I’m not huge on detailed birth stories, I don’t know why I can write about this and most likely not about that. It’s a little weird, huh?
red: SO glad you got a chuckle out of it. All I can say is I am REALLY glad that I am not still in Millie when THIS little gem went public. HEH. Miss your guts, woman. We should do lunch.
You’re going to have to keep me posted on the regrowth. I am fascinated by Brazilians as things are all natural in Angela Land. Yet somehow this actually makes me consider getting this done.
Uh, I just cannot comes to grips with looking like an 8-year-old version of myself. MANY years ago a boyfriend asked me to shave it all off. I complied and was immediatly horrified. All I could think was, “Oh my GOD this guy is a pedophile! He wants me to be like a little girl!!” And, for the record, I *DO* do landscaping and all, but I just can’t turn the lawn into a desert, get me?
@Sparklie: Yeah, I am intrigued by that as well. I’ll let you know. I’ve heard it is much easier than shaving.
@Texan Mama: I just don’t care for hair. It’s totally not for everyone.It’s an extremely personal preference. Both the waxing and the landscaping. I don’t think my husband or other men are pedophiles for preferring it, though. There is NOTHING about me that looks like an 8-year-old, even without hair. ;)
I’ve heard that adventure is always worse when your prego. More blood flow in that general area of the body and all that. Thanks for the smile tonight. I definitely needed it.
What? No pictures?! (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)
I am very proud of you! As someone that has waxed for the past four years, I don’t how I ever had hair down there. BUT before you get lasered read my blog a post titled “if you want to look like a porn star.” I am sorry I am too stupid to link it here. I don’t know how to do that fancy stuff.
I sat here and laughed my ass off at the entire post! BRAVO BRAVO!
I don’t know what magical camera you were using to take that picture of you and Casey, but you both look about 6 years too young to be getting any work done.
Glittersmama: OH, yes. I think it was worse. Plus, I’m on blood thinners so I bled a little more than I think the average person would have. However, pregnancy is a big motivating factor for me. I just can’t deal with it AND hair. :S
Bags: You would be surprised how many people asked if I was going to post photos. I would frighten EVERYONE and I have become fond of my readers. Plus, there is that whole pesky thing about being married and my husband possibly freaking the hell out. Tee hee.
Sandi: Oooh…hopefully it isn’t a bad laser post. That would bum me out. I would love to do it and never have to worry about it again.
BPD: HA! It’s totally untouched, too! I’ll have you know that is the ONLY photo of us that did not totally blow chunks of hideous. Casey has one of me that she could totally use as blackmail material to bend me to her will.
Oh my gosh, I am laughing my ass off! This is hilarious!
I know you can’t answer this-but how long does a wax job last, anyway?
Icky, yucky, creepy girly parts story…
But it DID make me laugh…
And now I think I may be experiencing phantom pains because of the empathy I feel for you.
Thanks for THAT… jerk. ;)
I shave, and would love to have the long lasting wax… but I think I might be too much of a wuss.
Georgia’s right, the pain gets easier, and lasts less time too. And hot wax instead of strip seems to be less painful.
I have always been intrigued by those. The embarrassment factor would do me in. I managed to successfully avoid having a single vaginal check during my second pregnancy (just a short quick one after the baby was born to be sure nothing was shredded) — so I’m not about to do something like that intentionally. Except I would really like a Brazilian.
So, two hours from home? Which salon was that? I was led to believe that Brazilians were illegal, or at least not advertised in Utah.
Holy crap you are a brave woman.
“a chicken being gang-raped with a Renaissance flute”
That made me laugh ALOT!
I will never be able to think of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer” the same way again.
What I want to know is how Santa…..
Oh never mind.
OMGOMGOMGOMG I wonder if I can talk SWMBO into that. I can’t say anything else without exposing myself (*snigger* I said exposing myself) as a total perv.
Casey has tried to tell me to get one too, but I’m skeered.
Even more so now that I have had such a delightful visual :)
I won’t go until I can convince a friend to come with me, and so far we’ve all been a bunch of nancies. But I really would like to try it…
hey, how much does one tip one’s esthetician? not that i’m planning any brazilian type activities, (i’m not that brave) but i was wondering if the standard twenty percent applies to someone who has seen more of you than your gyn. ;-)
xo
b.
p.s. have fun this weekend!
Hmm, might be time for a career change here. Yes, Rudolph will forever bring different visions.
Thanks for the descriptions. Sorry we don’t at least have an audio recording of the event.
That is one of the most detail rich descriptions I have ever read about anything, let alone a va-jay-jay wax. And now I am very certain that I won’t ever go full Brazilian. Thank you.
LOL. And it hurts WAY more when you’re pregnant. Congrats on getting that over with!
I did one last month before the baby came and just about died.
http://mariabird.blogspot.com/2008/11/take-that-katherine-heigl.html
The few sentences at the end about how pleased you are? Not enough to negate all the PARAGRAPHS of pain to convince me! I’ll stick with my grooming habits. *Shuddering*
Still, gotta love your detail! :-)
Yeah, I have had some emails from pro-Brazilian people that weren’t too happy that I focused so much on the negative.
Sorry, but it fracking HURTS.
I’m sure my wussy and low pain threshold and pregnant state increased the pain. Plus, it was my first time. Everyone says that it gets much, much less painful after you’ve done it once.
I should have written more about the positives, but it hasn’t been that long since it was all better. It takes a few days to really get a feel for what you’re left with.
I really do mean it when I say that IT IS WORTH IT AND I LOVE IT MORE THAN MY LUGGAGE, so it was totally worth the pain. The hygiene factor alone would make me go through it all over again in a heartbeat. Especially with a baby coming. SERIOUSLY.
P.S. The salon was “The Finnish Touch” in Salt Lake. Totally reasonable for being a city salon. I was surprised. They did a great job. (And you can get Brazilians most places that offer waxing in Utah. It’s not illegal.)
I Crap. this post is a sign isn’t it? It’s saying “Molly. Go for it!” Even though I have no one to wax it off…. I’ve done a semi-brazilian before and I didn’t think it was that bad… I made a friend come in and hold my hand with her eyes closed. Lol. Can you try sugaring it next and do a post on that so I know which one to do? Apparently Sugaring hurts less
Lol. Scratch the I part of the “I crap.” That’s a story for a different day….
Eew.
I said the same to Casey when she posted about hers a while back.
Headless Dad would looove for me to do this but….eew. And, OUCH! (Typing ‘Headless Dad’ in this context just seems wrong, don’t you think?)
Kudos to you for going all the way, so to speak. I guess.
i love hearing “first time” stories ;)
You’ve convinced me to do this. Ahhhhh.
I just snorted boogers out my nose. “SWEET BABY JESUS ON A TRICYCLE?!?” That just might be my new favorite quote.
I’d try a Brazillian, but I had my eyebrows waxed once and it turns out I’m allergic to the wax. (No lie!) It was 2 days before I stood up in a wedding and I looked like I had herpies on my face. Niiice. My husband may never sleep with me again if I look all herped up down there. I’ll just stick with the “free lovin’ dope smokin’ hippie look” that’s worked well for me thus far.
Dying laughing.
I can’t believe I missed that phone call. ARRRGGHHHH!
Worse yet, I totally wish I was with you getting my cooter de-haired. It would have been a bonding experience for all of us.
God I love you ladies.
I’m making us a waxing appointment in July. For the three of us. Just so ya know.
heh.
Last December it was me and Casey on that very same waxing adventure! I’m glad to see she’s spreading the Brazilian knowledge to other newbies!
I am killing myself over here in raucous laughter!
I have debated about this very same topic for sometime (sorry BIL if you read comments…), but after radiation, chemo and insta-pause (surgically induced menopause)I am happy to announce I no longer have carpet…just smooth linoleum. And from your description, I think I am kinda glad I did it my way!
But to you I say a hearty…”Wax on..wax off”
Well, I was going to consider waxing right before my labor of my first child because how the heck can you groom down there when you can’t even see your feet?
But I am no a goo pain person so I think I’ll skip it now. Your story was very funny and very… Ouch. :-(
Ummm…no. I draw the line. Hubs is the only person who sees the nether regions, and he’s happy.
Why mess with it?
Besides, even if he wasn’t, from what you described the only way I’d get a Brazilian wax would be if HE got one too. ROFL!
OMG, this was friggin’ HILARIOUS! You rock, woman!
Doooooooooooooode.
Looking forward to the updates on regrowth.
P.S.: Thanks for the drink ticket :).
What? No photo? Just kidding. I laughed when you were talking about trying to carry on a conversation as she is ripping your delicate little hairs out of your body. LOL
I’m not sure if this will convince my wife or not…
Hehehe, so funny! What I don’t get, though, is this – so you do this very painful thing, but then you have to wait until you are really, um, hairy again in order for it to be long enough to do it again? I’m so confused. That’s the excuse why I haven’t tried it. Not the pain factor… at all. ;)
haha! This is hilarious. I was a practicing waxer for about year before I quit. Before I went the first time my friend warned me that an hour or so after you have it done your girly area will “look like you’ve been beaten with a curling iron!” I didn’t really get it until I had it done. Truest statement ever. Oh, and it does get better…remember to exfoliate though! Ingrowns are a beeotch :)
@Maggie
I just had this link sent to me by a reader and it was pretty awesome in answering questions and explained some things I was still wondering about.
http://www.brazilianwaxingstudio.com/faq.php
Again, I do have to stress to everyone that my pregnant state AND it being my first time increased the pain.
Oh, and THERE IS BRAZILIAN WAXING FOR MEN.
Who knew???
That was informative.
One thing I can always count on with you, Loralee, is that you tell it like it is.
I feel utterly educated on the art and science of Brazilian waxing.
I’m thinking of getting a spa to sponsor “WaxHer ‘08″ in Chicago.
I’ll call it “moosh your tush”
Srsly.
Moosh, that’d be an interesting thing to add onto our BlogHer admission! :)
I pity the person calling to salons throughout Chicago “Yeah, I’d like to make reservations for Brazillian waxing. For THIRTY women. No, make that FIFTY women!”
And our menfolk, if they EVER read this post, will all be happy to send us to Chicago for a few days. Maybe by the time the convention is over, the pain will be, too.”
Still laughing my ass off, Loralee!
I have been thinking of getting this done for ages. The reason I haven’t-not the pain, the price. I don’t know why but $60-$80 around here is a bit hard to swallow. I don’t know how often I would have to go back and I don’t know which places are the “right” places to go. Gah!
You are halarious! How can you describe something so awkward and have it be so funny!?! This post had me laughing out loud!!
oooh ouch oh ooooh! I could never ever do that, but kudos to you for doing so AND turning it into a funny post!!
The first time was the worst. But maybe that’s because every time after I’ve managed to choke down pain pills and/or alcohol before the event.
Yeah, I’ve actually never heard of anyone regretting going Brazilian. I’m thinking about it myself. Shaving and trimming is a pain. I’d love to get it lasered so I never have to worry about it, but alas there are more pressing expenses to take care of first.
Sweet baby Jesus on a bicycle, Batman.
THAT was awesome. Heh.
I know it’s expensive, but I’m holding out for the laser treatment. Seriously. I know, I know… but… seriously.
Also? Ahhhhhmpits.
Dude, this made my girly bits clench. Very, very tightly. Which you may think is awesome, but it’s not.
Um, ouch? OUCH. I can’t even fathom the pain. You are totally more badass than me!
Im cracking up right now. I totally second everything you just said. I just had my first Brazilian Wax 2 weeks ago. My conversation went a lot like yours. In between strips i was fine, and and tried to have a conversation but as soon as i felt her tug that was it. I totally paused and said “OMG THAT ONE HURT”, then we did it all over again…
Oh and the little kitten being red… I never knew my skin could turn that color.
Even with that said it was totally worth it. Its been 2 weeks and it still looks pretty darn good!
I loved this post – it really hit home. I need to read it again.
“At some point, I stopped the exclamations and ended up just gurgling and snorting incoherently out of my nose.”
I laughed so hard at that that I spat and shot crud out my nose. It took me a good 5 minutes to clean my monitor. Gross. My kid came in and I think she must have thought I was having a seizure. It took me a good 10 minutes just to calm her down too.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking about doing this myself… They didn’t give me the mirror when I had my first child, but I’m sure that the image would be seered into my retinas just as you described. That, and when you’ve got that ginormous preggo belly in your way, as I’m well on my way to having, it’s really hard to take care of the stuff on your muffin.
DO keep us updated as things progress. I’m still a little wimpy about it, so hearing the glories of the aftermath would likely calm my nerves about it. HAHA.
Good post, babe!
i heart you.
seriously.
can i please come hang out with you and Casey? please?
thank you for the much needed giggle and yes, bald is waaaay better. just sayin’
I have never laughed so hard during a post. Made my day.
ps- the hubby and i now call in “fa-la-laing” as well.
OUCH! Even I have not had a brazillian… I need to finish my laser treatments though. Shaving what is left is a pain.
My mom was so NOT impressed, people.
She’s of the mindset that people who enjoy the hairless look are pedophiles.
I’m just glad I called to warn her away from the blog today.
$20 says my mom puts my name put in the temple for having a bald hootchie. Sigh.
Oh, well. I can use all the points from on high I can get, I suppose.
Brazilian’s for men…at last they can feel something close to the first stage of labor.
Still no.
I have a paper cut and I want EVERYONE to kiss it boo boo’s.
Don’t think people will be as understand when I want THAT boo boo kissed better…
And 50 bucks? I think that those poor girls need to be paid waaay more for touching peoples poo holes.
I’m not a prude. It was oddly uncomfortable reading about someone I have never met before getting a Brazilian… but it’s cool.
So, I’ll just jump right back in there. You should try “Sugaring”. Even better, have your husband do it for you. It’s like wax, but boiled sugar with some lemon juice – it’s super sticky and gets all the hair… and it tastes good!
tee hee. hee hee.
PS. I’m 13 weeks along and could NEVER EVER get waxed right now. I can barely pluck my eyebrows I’m in a total wussy state.
I’m simultaneously intrigued and frightened about this Brazilian waxing business. But this story? Priceless.
AWESOME! I have done a Brazilian on myself before, although it probably wasn’t salon material. A few days ago I asked DH if he wanted to get kinky and help me wax… It hurt like a BITCH, so halfway through I quit. I’ll have to find a salon to finish it off. I’ll be sure to leave a GOOD TIP for touching my “poo hole” – ROFL.
I don’t know when you were more brave: getting it done or writing about it. The warning was more than adequate. Question: do Brazilians really have this done and if so, do they call it a Brazillian wax? PS. Thanks for the Twitter response.
When you said, “Worse yet I had a performance that night” I thought you were talking about a very DIFFERENT kind of a performance.
A few things:
A) ONLY $50?! I pay $70. Damn you, New York.
B) Your line about the chicken is the funniest thing I’ve read in eons.
C) Do you know what they call a Brazilian mankini wax here? The “back, sack, and crack” wax. It never fails to crack me up.
Glad your experience was good overall! As much as it PAINS me, I’m always so happy with the results. :)
Still not convinced. Hot wax and hair yanking? No thanks.
I’m still confused about how you keep it up. How long does it remain *completely* smooth? Then how long do you have to let it grow out before getting waxed again?
Oh GOOD GOD! Why didn’t I take that warning more seriously!? WHY!?!?!?
[...] and if you need a laugh and have lady parts you might like to read this most entertaining post. It was seriously the highlight of my day and also the reason I fear [...]
@Froyd
Because you are a man and men never listen to me. Sigh.
;P
I served my mission in Brazil and i had that done so cheap there and it was AWESOME! It was like 10 raies which would be like $3.50 here. I can’t believe it would cost 50$ plus tip!OUCH! But yes it IS awesome! I’m glad they do it in the US now! I’ll have to save up quite a bit to splurge for it though.
Awesome post. I’ve contemplated a brazilian but I’ve shaved the whole thing and I kind of think it looks weird.
However the long lasting smoothness would be really nice.
How about a landing strip to please my eye? They might do that for me.
Anyway, first time reader – thanks for making my night – mwah!
Awesome post! Followed Moosh’s twitter link.
I’ve gotten waxed on and off for some years now… I think it can be nice to leave a “landing pad” [NOT a strip - those look odd!] on the super fleshy area – less painful and avoids the worry of pedo connotations. :P
Oh, and the pain: it helps to breathe out, in a ‘woosh’, when they rip. Good waxers will tell you when to breathe, at the cheap places, I guess. :P
Way fun and funny. Dig it! :D
“I guess” meaning that I guess when they will rip at the cheap places and time my breathing as best I can.
Hilarious!! Had to muffle my laughs at work. I am so overdue for a waxing, it isn’t even funny. The re-growth, over a period of time is not as much. Takes longer to grow back.
I’m so tempted to do it. If I did, could I perhaps count it as part of Bill’s Christmas gift?
Good God…what kind of HELL job do these waxers have? I’m sure you have some of the best looking coochie regions around but others don’t You know others don’t. OMG, that could be a reality show – with lots and lots of blurred out shots.
So, how long does/did it hurt?
I’ll never listen to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer the same way ever again! lol
Let me start by saying that this is the first time I’ve read your blog.
LOVE YOU!
I had my first brazilian while 7 months pregnant in preparation for a family vacay in Florida. My OB paid me a compliment and asked for the name of the “artist.”
Beats my very first waxing experience, during which the waxer asked, “What your husband name? I do initial for you.” Yikes!
Okay so you TOTALLY made me laugh out loud – as my husband looked over and said, “Are you laughing at a BLOG again?” Why yes, yes I am. Then my 7-year-old came and sat by me and read the part about the “kitten” bring bright red and was wondering where you get a red kitten from. Hm.
That was soooo funny! Love the blog! it’s my first time visiting! Wish we could have met while I was in Utah :o(
I’m due for my first post-partum OB visit tomorrow, so my first post-partum Brazilian is soon to follow. The pain is unreal, but you do get used to it. My problem? Imagine having hair that grows in all different directions, which requires the esthetician to go over some areas OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Yeah. Fun, huh?
That was an awesome read! lol You do rule! Now only if my woman would do that for me. Hell she won’t even shave herself, not that I don’t mind doing it for her but it’s not often enough and she don’t like the pricklys once it starts growing back.
[...] I know. This coming from the woman who can write in horrifying detail about getting her girlie bits slathered and ripped to death with hot wax turns slightly pink at the thought of showing her pregnant [...]