I got an email from a “former” reader this evening. (They were very clear on the “former” part).
People stop reading me all the time and while it is never something that is fun to find out, I understand. There are eleventyhundred and one different things that could be the reason or motivation, so I really don’t get bent out of shape about it.
THIS email, however?
Pushed me over the edge.
I came “THIS” close to deleting my blog tonight.
Shutting it down.
Walking away from the Internet entirely.
My crap meter reached 11. I couldn’t take one more bit of ugly fall out from the World Wide Web.
There has been a lot, and I mean a LOT of fugly directed my way from the Internet for a very, very long time that I have stayed pretty quiet about. It helped to go to Blogher and to talk about my frustration with other seasoned bloggers who have been there.
It did help.
But then?
IT GOT SO MUCH EFFING WORSE.
I am human. I have made mistakes, made people mad, hurt feelings, etc. I try my best to make it right when I can, apologize when I’m wrong and learn from it. There are people in the world who hate me because, well…I’ve given them reason. I understand that. But even those who have good reason to hate my guts are decent people and even they wouldn’t unleash some of the things said from people I don’t even know. (Well, most of them I don’t know.)
The sickest, most evil, perverse and hideous things you can imagine have been written about me, my family, my dead infant, my child I’m carrying…you cannot even wrap your head around the things my eyes have read. Over and over, things said privately and publicly. And even though some of the things that I find so hurtful are past or deleted off the Internet, MY ANGER IS NOT, and I have been finding it harder and harder to swallow how I feel.
There are some who have the attitude of, “Well, you DID put it out there on the Internet!”
So, me writing about my life online gives someone the right to tell me they hope my fetus dies and takes me with them? REALLY??
Tonight I came to a breaking point about it all.
The email I received was the straw that broke my ability to keep quiet. It said that my blog has turned to shit in the last few months and that “you obviously don’t care anymore since you’re sooooo full of yourself and don’t ever even post anymore” and that if “I didn’t start to act like I cared about the Internet I would lose the last 2 people still bothering to read me.”
I wanted to scream to the heavens that “THERE ARE REASONS WHY I AM AN INTERNET RECLUSE LATELY BUT I CAN’T TALK ABOUT IT ON MY BLOG BECAUSE YOU AREN’T SUPPOSED TO FEED THE DAMN TROLLS! ARG!!!!”
I was so mad, I went on Twitter and LET LOOSE. I DM’d people. I emailed. I posted on Facebook. I cried and screamed and let out two years of frustration about how DONE I WAS WITH “RISING ABOVE IT AND IGNORING THE HIDEOUSNESS THAT I KEEP FACING OVER AND OVER!”.
Then I wrote out the longest, most detailed, accusatory post in existence full of names, email addresses, IP addresses, blog URL’s, quotes, details and some language that would make the most hardened sailor blush.
Then?
I decided it was all a losing battle.
That I will NEVER be free of crap on the Internet no matter what I do.
That I could never trust anyone on the Internet fully again. That I have been so betrayed and hurt by some people who read my words it just wasn’t WORTH it any longer. The fact that I am the one that has to stay quiet and say NOTHING after these attacks just made it all so much worth.
So, I went to the blog suicide button and sat there really thinking that I was going to have a moment like I did with my Google Reader and just DELETE THIS BLOG AND BE DONE.
Then, I noticed the date.
12:03 am, November 10th.
My third blog anniversary.
The irony that I was about to cause the death of my blog on the anniversary of its birth was not lost on me.
I looked back at the delete key.
I couldn’t do it.
My mind started rushing with all these memories. What my life and mental state was when I started this place. How far I have come in so many areas. GOOD memories and my excitement and wonder about all things that was the Internet. My first comment. My first fans. My first friends. Discovering the crack that is known as “Twitter”. The THOUSANDS of HAPPY, WONDERFUL moments that this place has brought into my life. In fact, it is not an exaggeration to say that in many ways, this blog literally saved my life.
I thought about the fact that even though there are multitudes of evil, hateful, cruel people out there? There are so, so, so many more good things. People. Posts. Feelings. GOOD WILL.
I also know that I will not let evil, psychotic, hateful people ruin something I have worked so hard at. I will be damned if I let them win.
Maybe it is a mistake saying anything about it at all, that I shouldn’t let the trolls know that they almost won, that giving them anything is a huge failure on my part, but when it gets to the point of deleting your blog and letting them win the biggest prize of them all by silencing me completely or saying something?
I pick saying something.
Look, I know my blog has been crap lately. I know that I am virtually non-existent in the internet world of participation compared to what I have been in the past. I have become a bit of a recluse because the internet has been pretty ugly. Especially lately. I know I have been a total slacker with appreciation for my readers lately but you all have to know that even if I don’t respond or acknowledge them, each positive email and comment I get means the world. They help more than you know, because you often don’t see what is going on behind the scenes. How your words help counter the fugly hate than can hit me.
I honestly don’t know what is going to happen from here or how much immediate “Change” there is going to be here. I’ve been through a lot. But just making the decision that there is still more good than bad about the Internet for me is a good thing.
A good way to celebrate three years of hard work and joy and tears.
I mainly have you all to thank for it.
You fabulous, wonderful, pink puffy heart people.
Thank you.
Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
I may not always have the ability to show it well, but I love you all to bits.
Except for the haters.
YOU?
Can fuck the hell off and never, ever come back.
P.S. A double thank you to everyone that talked to me tonight. I am really grateful.
P.P.S. Sorry to all non-swearing people and my mother for using the “F” word. I really tried not to and I regret it so very, very much.
P.P.P.S. Ok, not really. It was the most accurate expression for what I feel and besides…it felt damn good to write.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
You delete?
I kick your ass.
The end.
@Moosh.
YEAH. That alone would stop me. You are a fierce little woman. I am totally convinced you could break me with your pinky despite being half my size.
I only just discovered your blog recently, so I guess I’ve only been here since the blog has been “crap”. But if this is crap, I can’t wait to see some of the stuff you think is good!!
Hang in there, the world is full of arseholes, and you’re quite right – if you delete your blog, they’re winning (and I’m missing out ;o). It must be tough – luckily my 2 readers are very nice people – but you are so, SO much better than they are. Rise above! I’m in your corner! (Sorry, out of clichés now…)
The hardest thing to do when you know that you are right and wronged, is to stay silent. And even though you know you’re doing the right thing by not letting them have it, you still wish you could. You always will. It’s like a 12-step program for “Rising-Above-It” — you only have to do it one day at a time.
Keep going, Loralee!
You know what, assholes? People’s blogs are THEIRS. They don’t owe us ANYTHING. Loralee, you, me, anyone, can write on their PERSONAL, FOR THEIR OWN EDIFICATION website whenever the fuck they choose to or not. She doesn’t OWN the internet; she doesn’t HAVE to post.
She’s freaking pregnant for Christ’s sake, and if you’d bothered to READ her site, you’d know she’s got some A) medical things to attend to and B) is sort of dealing with a pregnancy after her last baby DIED.
Grow a fucking heart, you soulless beasts.
PS: Happy 3rd, baby. I’ve loved every minute of it.
I’ve been away from my computer for a week and have just gotten back to see what/if you had to say. Am glad you haven’t deleted your blog. And am praying for you, your family, your extended family and your new babe.
The trolls obviously don’t like themselves, so they have to pick on their own faults in everyone else. They must lead miserable lives, finding fault with others.
Keep being true to yourself. We love you for it.
*sigh* mean kids suck.
You, on the other hand, rock.
Go the urls/quotes/blog addresses/naming and shaming i say. But then I’m petty like that.
xx
I truly can’t imagine deleting my blog because some losers in the Blogosphere don’t like me! Me not liking my own blog- well that’s another thing. :) I suppose with more readers, you get more trolls- but I think the ratio of people who like you to those that don’t is far greater. Keep talking and Happy 3rd Anniversary!
thanks for sticking around, L. you and your blog are a huge part of the internet for me. this was the first blog to make me laugh out loud, one of the first to jerk heartfelt, well-spent tears out of me. i would be so sad if the trolls prevailed. i’m so glad you’ve decided to stay.
and to the hurtful, fugly, evil, heartless, twisted, LOSERS who’ve been making it their business to attack Loralee: disappear off into the fog with all the other psychopathic misfits, will you? get a life. go confront someone you’re entitled to be disgruntled with (i.e. NOT Loralee). Or, if you’ve got the balls, which we all know you don’t, come forward and show yourself right here, right now… then watch us rip your sick little ass to online shreds.
You’d better not delete. Then I’D send hate mail.
Happy 3rd Baby!! xoxoxo
Happy birthday and blogday! love ya – me
I have mostly been a lurker for a few years. I don’t remember how I found you but I remember being “hooked” when you expressed your love for students in MN. You see, I’m a native Minnesotan. I found myself crying with joy over your recent pregnancy announcement. Through the good and the bad you encourage me by writing so openly about it. Please know that you are loved and appreciated!
I have to agree with Kathie. I’ve only just recently discovered your blog, and it’s this kind of “crap” that kept me coming back, and interested. =]
This is your place. It doesn’t belong to anyone else. You do want you want with it, and let no one tell you to do it any different.
Happy Blogerversary.
I’m glad you are sticking around. You’re one of my favouritest (Yes, that’s a word) blog friends.
Whoa, Loralee, I really understand what you’re writing. Texan Papa has told me so many times “You can’t ever unsee something ugly or unread something hateful.” SO TRUE. Why is it that one hateful comment absorbs our thoughts, but 20 wonderful glowing comments glide over us? It’s not fair how our brains work!!!! I can’t imagine what is going on those peoples’ minds to write such hateful stuff to you. It is so not right!
But as for your blog being crap lately, I really honestly don’t think that at all. I think it’s great! Last time I checked, you weren’t going for the Nobel Prize for Literature. Not that you have to – blogs are all about the author’s thoughts, feelings, reflections, ponderings, etc. And, you’re right – the internet is like a TV. If you don’t like it, just change the channel and watch (read) something else.
The compass I use for my own blog is, if I were not the author, would I read this? I hope the answer is yes, but face it: we all have some off days. If you do, have faith in your readers that we are all allowed an “off” day and we’ll keep reading you.
Really, I love so much about your blog – the pictures, the varied topics, your honesty, even the WAY you talk about things. I love the fact that you respect your husband. I love the fact that you don’t make excuses for your feelings. I also love the fact that somedays you’re happy and some days you’re pissed (not like some robot on auto-happy 24/7) and you are okay with telling us about that.
I’m sorry that you got that shitty mother fucker writing those lame-ass comments.
You’re right, that feels good.
I agree with the others, if this is the crap, I can’t wait to see what isn’t crap. Your crap is far better than some people’s best efforts.
I’ve only had a handful of haters(one even on BlogHer) and I know how one makes me feel-I’m so sorry you’re dealing with a bunch of it.
yeah I’m not sure what is wrong with the person who emailed you, but seriously, like everyone else said, if this is crap, then apparently I like reading crap! And there is NO REASON, absolutely NONE, that any blogger anywhere needs to apologize for having a life outside of the blogosphere and therefore isn’t posting as much. It’s not like you’re chained to it!
I’m so sorry you have to deal with the ugliness. Try your best to ignore, though I know that’s easier said than done. You rock. End of story :)
Happy Blog Anniversary! I’m glad you’re sticking around. Where else would I get my doses of crazy? :) Kidding. I’m amazed that people can be so hateful over something as relatively unimportant as a stranger’s blog content. Losers. Maybe they’re just annoyed that they’ve got nothing to plagiarize. Whatever. Stick around. You rock.
i am new here, too, and i really like it. honest! if it’s crap, then it’s pretty darn good crap!!
(um, i mean i really like your blog!)
Happy Blogoversary!
I’m sorry that all of this has been going on. Bad people suck. Do you have their addresses….can we send some Mormon MIssionaries to their house? That would straighten their sorry asses (or irritate the hell) out of them!
I hope you don’t consider me one of those untrustworthy Internet People!
Love you!
I’ve only been reading for a few months, but I love your blog.
I’m sorry that there are so many hateful people out there… I wish we could just trap all the meanies together and let them treat each other like crap!
Good for you! Happy anniversary, so glad it kept you from deleting!
There’s a long list of really wonderful people out here that I read … Mostly women. Weird, I know, but the women out here have been funny and honest and pained and happy and all kinds of things that most men bloggers don’t know how to get to. Most men can’t touch their feelings like women do – and if they do – they never talk about it. So I read women, for the most part. I have learned so much about me because of it.
Loralee Choate is a name I have known and respected since I first started blogging. I lurked for a long time. I was intimidated by people like Sarcastic Mom, and Momisodes and Loralee Choate and OHmommy. People with an audience and with somethign to say and how was I ever going to compete – how was I ever going to get to the point where I had more than 3 or 4 comments a day – but then I began to realize, because of you, and people like you, that this isn’t a competition and the reason to write has nothing to do with the number of people who read you – it has to do with the people you come to care about and become friends with and the people you get to know by leaving comments and getting comments and Loralee Choate, I love you.
Do a Clinton, O.K.? Remove the ‘DELETE’ key from your keyboard. I know removing the ‘W’ keys didn’t stop Bush and removing the DELETE key wouldn’t stop you if you were really determinied to do it, but it’s a symbolic thing, you know?
And Lord only know, out here, we deal with symbolism on a daily basis.
I love reading what you write. I’m ridiculously happy for you and your family and your baby-in-belly! I would be really sad if you stopped writing.
People change over time so their blogs change over time. And in so many ways that’s what makes it so amazing!
In the end, your blog is for you. But from what little I know about your world, I think you’d be just as miserable as I would be without the outlet of blogging/writing. So hang in there! Go team! Go get ‘em, tiger, and kick some Internet butt! Wooooo!
*ahem* And I have always thought your masthead was pretty. :)
What the hell is wrong with people? Why do some find it so necessary to be cruel?
Like my mama always said, “If you can’t say something nice….shut the fuck up!”
You rock, by the way!
I’m a lurker of a reader, been reading for a while, but rarely (if ever) comment. Just wanted to say that you’ve got a beautiful blog, and I think it’s fantastic that you put yourself out there like this. If you only posted once a month, or once a YEAR, so what? It’s your blog, your time and your life. If you lose readers because you don’t constantly tap dance to amuse them, so be it. That’s not the kind of reader you really want, is it?
Keep it up. You’re fantastic and your blog is gorgeous. Keep telling everyone that doesn’t agree with that to fuck the hell off. It’s good for the soul. ;-)
It is upsetting to me that these people just keep coming back. The horrible ones, that is. I don’t understand why they seek to terrorize great gals like you. Rest assured, so many of us would be sad, sad, sad if you were gone!
Glad they didn’t win. I figure anything anyone I like to read shares with me on the Internet is a treasure. Something personal, funny, touching. Sometimes it is utter crap too, but you say “well that was crap” and move on.
Reading blogs is like a bonus in my life. It doesn’t cost me anything, and it is totally entertaining. Thanks for the free entertainment.
I am glad that you didnt delete the blog Loralee. I check it everyday, even when I am at work to see if there is something new in you and your families life. Its a little piece of home here in DC that I can read. Mean people SUCK but dont let that get to you please. Your Blog was the first one that I ever started reading. I had never read blogs before until you came out with yours. So DONT let the assholes get to you OK.
Memorial weekend is the wedding! You will get an invite. I do need the new address to mail the invite too!
I can’t understand people who go through the trouble of lambasting bloggers to their faces when they have a slow period on the blog. We all go through life stress, busyness, and writer’s block, and sometimes posting things that aren’t necessarily brilliant is the best way to keep writing until the brilliant words come back.
Sorry about all the haters. They need to get a life.
YUCK!
It is amazing sometimes the ownership readers feel regarding you/your blog. By emailing you and telling you that your blog sucks and no one reads is to assume first off that you blog is written for anyone other than you!
A blog is an online journal, for you, the nice perk is that other people want to know what’s going on in your brain and follow along!
The other nice thing about blogging, if you don’t like what you read no one is going to force you to keep clicking over. It’s that sense of ownership people feel that makes them email you and tell you what they think your blog should be, or to describe to you what it’s not. I don’t fully understand it.
I’m a loyal reader and can’t wait until you announce the gender of said fetus so I can start sending you boxes and boxes of my cratfy baby wares!
I am glad that you did not hit the delete key Loralee! And, I know that many, and I do mean MANY, other readers feel that way too. It is a shame that you have to deal with such nasty feedback! Keep you head high and now that you are loved and that your words have helped many people.
Woah. I would have NEVER guessed that you were dealing with Internet hate. I’m impressed.
Me? I spewed mine all over the place when it was at it’s worse. I SUCK at the high road. It’s too much of a hike for me. :-)
Next time you need to scream at someone who gets it, too – I’m your huckleberry.
Thank you Loralee for not deleting.
I’m still stuck on the fact that there are people out there who are that mean. I don’t get it. They’re lacking in any human decency.
(Another new reader here. Glad you didn’t delete.)
I am an avid reader, but not a great commenter over here, but I thought I would let you know that you do have fans (probably more than just me) that do read you and enjoy what you post. I am sorry that you feel like you have to apologize for not being online enough or responding enough – I look at blogs as what they are – and I take what I get, so if it is a blog I enjoy and the person only posts once a week, I enjoy that post and the next one that comes up, I’ll enjoy that too. I know there is this issue of dissent out in the blog world and I just don’t get it – I personally like to read blogs that are not just like me – I like the way some people get me to think on topics or see the other side of topics that I would not normally do. I guess what I am saying, is that I am sorry that the blog world is getting you down. I hope that you do keep going – and post what you want, when you want, because this is your blog! I do hope you continue to get to enjoy it again…
As one of your “2 readers left” (HA! 2? More like 200 or 2000!!) I say good for you and screw em all!!!
Don’t you dare delete.
You live your life, you write what you can and ignore the idiots. I, for one, would be very sad if you disappeared.
If you delete, I think I will forever lose my faith in the blog world. So many of my favorite bloggers have called it quits, so I really couldn’t take it if you joined the ranks.
What I’ve always loved most about your blog is it’s raw honesty. Don’t lose that. I know there are things you can’t publicly talk about (I’m in the same boat…trying to stay afloat in my own little shit storm currently.), but just keep being true to yourself.
I’ve never understood the haters and the trolls. It seems like such a waste of time to compose a hateful email or comment. Most of mine come from men. Ha.
Anyway, I love your blog. I wish you lived closer because I would give you a hug and buy you a huge Diet Coke. :)
Keep it up…and do.not.delete!
xoxo
Man, that’s a major bummer that there are so many haters out there. The whole point of blogs is for people to express themselves and get whatever it is they feel out there. In my mind, we don’t pay for the opportunity to look into your life, so we really can’t judge you for anything you say. And we definately can’t give you crap for what you choose to write about – it should be the readers responsibility to just close the browser if they don’t like your post – not chew you out about it. And we are definately not in any place to demand posts on a regular basis – you have a life you have to live and take care of first before you can write about it. Otherwise posts would sound something along the lines of “So I woke up the other day, and I wrote a post… and then I posted it, and then I wrote another one, and it was about writing the first one…” and that would truly be crap far beyond of what I’m even capable of.
And I really hope that your pregnancy is going well – you seem like a pretty awesome mom to have, all full of insights and real world perspective.
And I also think it’s okay to let the mean ugly trolls know that they almost won, because it shows them that you know what they did but you’re still stronger.
Keep writing Loralee! And I’ll keep reading on these mornings when I just really don’t wanna finish getting ready for school.
:)
Though my blog is tiny compared to yours, I have been inundated with mean comments lately. Since most of them are anonymous (I’m thinking they’re all one person), it doesn’t really bother me. If I don’t know who’s being mean, it really doesn’t hurt. But twice in the past month I’ve gotten “You really offended me with your blog” emails from people I DO know… THAT’S not fun at all. I can only imagine how wretched you must have felt to be at the point of deleting your blog. I’m so glad you didn’t.
Your blog is in my favourites folder & one of the first I check. I don’t care what these trolls say or think because from reading your writing I know what a strong, genuinely decent & nice person you are. Yes you’ve made mistakes & had to learn some hard lessons but so have we all the only difference is that you have been brave & honest enough to share with the world & by doing so I’m sure you have helped many readers.
I wish you lived near me & that I knew you in real-life because I would feel very privelidged & lucky to count you as a friend. AND I totally mean that.
Ignore the haters who obviously have no life of their own & can only feel worthwhile by trying to destroy others. They’re no different to bullies at school only now they are more vicious with their nastyness.
Please don’t let them win, you’ve been through so much worse than this spitefullness, I know it’s heartbreaking but surely you’ve read all the comments by decent people now so just think how much they think of you & like you. Why let the pathetic, evil ones spoil the happyness, compassion & friendship you inspire in so many others.
You’re wonderful, I mean it.
I don’t understand people feeling like they can spout off meanness under the “security” of e-anonymity. It makes me angry and sad, especially if they are hurting my friends. I pink, puffy heart YOU!
Glad you didn’t delete. I totally don’t get why people put out such nasty energy. I’m sorry they are doing it to you. I’ve been lucky so far, but that is most likely because I’m small potatoes.
You know how you couldn’t find that many things to rhyme with “34″? Well, I couldn’t find much that rhymed with “I want to kick those smelly pirate hookers in the teeth for being hateful and sucking so bad”, so I didn’t write you a poem to make you feel better…but I thought about it.
WHAT IS UP WITH THE TROLLS???? I can never understand this. If I read something I don’t like on a blog, I don’t leave any comment at all. If I’m really offended, I just delete them from my reader. It’s not like I have a paid subscription. If I paid money and got crap in return, I might feel like I had reason to bitch. But since I don’t, who am I to tell someone off on account of their blog? I just don’t get it. Your blog is your virtual living room. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to come back. It’s simple, really!!
Don’t let them win. Delete their comments and emails and move on. Plenty of people love coming here (including me!), so stay put!
I will never understand trolls. Who has the time to put out some much negativity? It’s so easy to just NOT READ a blog that you don’t agree with instead of being an asshole and sending mean emails. WTH? Get a life, trolls.
I hope you know there are far more people reading and loving you than there are haters. We’d all be very sad if you left us. You can write or not write, write drivel or poignant posts. It’s your blog! Do what you want.
I haven’t commented in a while but I could keep quiet!! I LOVE you blog and I am so glad you didn’t delete it!! I can’t imagine people being ugly for the sake of being mean!! I am so sorry you are dealing with such awful, cruel people but know you are loved and obviously more than 2 people read your blog! And if it were only 2 people it’s still yours and how dare someone push you to the point of deleting your “baby!!”
Love you girl!!
Jen
Happy Anniversary!! I’m glad you decided to stick around.
Love your blog!!
For every hurtful, cowardly, bitchy little twit reader you lose, you gain a new reader.
*waves* Hi! I’m new! I’ve been reading you for about a week or two.
It freaking sucks, but there are people out there who are SO afraid to face their own demons, that they make it their life’s work to suck the happiness away from others. And a ton of those people are so cowardly that they have to hide behind a computer to do it, so no one can even slap an ounce of sense into them. And you know what? They can be so nice and friendly and sickeningly-freaking-sweet so long as they can watch you suffer. But the very instant you find anything that even remotely smells like it could cause you some long-term happiness? Well, then you discover the monster behind these disgusting people.
I’m not going to tell you to rise above it. Actually, there’s a teeny tiny voice inside me that wants to beg you to post the blog address so that your 2 (plus about 1,000) measly readers can totally slam this person. But I am going to tell you that even in the short time I’ve been reading you, I already know that no matter how you respond to this person, you’re a hell of a lot better than them.
what are life lessons #1, #2, and #3? Are there any more after #4?
I’m glad you’re still here, Loralee!!
So sorry you have to endure such hatred, but there are plenty of people who love you and are glad you decided to stick around!
I think you have to keep in mind that there is something deeply ‘not right’ with a person who writes blog hatemail. Blogs are free and voluntary. No one HAS to read them. If they were normal people they would just move along to another blog if they didn’t like what they saw.
It’s the incredibly smart (and modest) people like me that you should be listening to – the ones who say that your blog is great and most of all it is YOURS.
Some good can come from evil. I’m delurking. I started reading you BECAUSE of that evil Purple Trumpet hate blog that was so evil about you.
It broke my heart for you and I hope that audrey barking mad blogger everyone says wrote it[not sure it was her though that is just what most people seem to think]gets some help because that was some sick shiz.
if what I read on that blog was just one thing that you have gone through on the internet I wouldn’t blame you for deleting. It was so evil. I don’t think I could handle it. It’s one of many reasons I only read blogs instead of having one of my own.
I don’t know if it helps but a lot of people have sympathy after reading that filth for you and have compassion.
Please remember that this is your blog and you are not paid to do it (at least I don’t think so) and so therefore you can write whatever and however much or litte you like. I am so happy you did not delete this awsome blog but if you had I would have understood. People can be real F-ing jerks when a computer screen is between you and them.
Ditto all of the above.
Fuck the trolls.
Don’t take any of the trolls to heart. They’re just mean spirited people who aren’t worth the time. Your blog is great. Delete the trolls and focus on the people who love your blog.
I am still somewhat of a baby in the blogosphere (only been blogging since May) and though I have seen some of the most horrendous bile and hate spewed I have also seem some of the most compassion and love spread as well. Your blog was one of the first I started to read regularly. Hang in there!
You all are amazing. My jaw is on the floor.
I do need to clarify one thing: I’m not mad at the emailer or even the email. It was so tame as far as negative emails go.
What set me off is that they said I don’t care and that I’m not around and active on the internet because I am too into myself.
It made me furious because I am not around the internet because I have been trolled, hate-mailed and hate BLOGGED to the point that my internet life is paralyzed and in true jeopardy of being destroyed.
AND I HAVE SAID NOTHING ABOUT IT FOR A VERY, VERY LONG TIME.
I reached my limit and couldn’t shut my trap for one more second.
I’m so glad I said something. Sorry if it all seemed a little dramatic, but that is who I am and what happened last night. Your support is amazing. You people remind me what is damn good about this sphere.
Off to run errands and lunch with friends.
xoxoxo
I have plenty to say about this, as you can imagine, but instead of wasting any more time or energy on it, I’ll just say this: I’m glad you didn’t delete. The world of blogs is better with you in it, whether you believe that or not.
Also, I have decided that from this point on in my blogging life, anything anonymous doesn’t count. If you can’t put your name to it, it shouldn’t be said. In the time I’ve been doing this, I’ve left exactly one anonymous comment, and I hated it. I don’t want to be anonymous. I like being bejewell. Anonymous just means that you’re ashamed to say it as yourself. And therefore it’s not worth my time to read or care about.
I realize that’s more easily said then practiced, but you know what I mean.
Happy third blogiversary. I hope I make it as long and as successfully as you have.
Loralee,
1. This is your blog. I firmly believe that one should be able to write about one’s life without getting ridiculed for it. (You know, unless you’re feeding your baby crack or something. Not YOU, just in general.)
2. I’ve only recently started reading your blog (linked from Angella), but I really like the you that I seem to get from reading about you. I shed tears over your post about your infant son, and thought your halloween costumes were amazing.
3. TROLLS SUCK. I have no idea why someone would want to go around ruining people’s lives and blogs. It’s beyond comprehension. Seriously? GET A LIFE! STOP RUINING OTHER PEOPLE’S LIVES!
4. Again, it’s YOUR blog. You should be able to post what you want when you want.
5. *hug*
THIS IS BECAUSE OF THAT FUCKING HATE BLOG, ABOUT YOU, ISN’T IT! My god I hate her and others like her. At least the coward deleted it when she got found out. Don’t let her win, Loralee. Keep going strong.
woo hoo! now let’s figure out where to publish the post with all the goods! :)
Sometimes “fuck” is the only fitting word. I stand behind that.
No one (and I mean no one) deserves to hear the things it seems you’ve been hearing. The only comfort I take is that the people saying those things have to be the most miserable people alive. No one spreads hate unless they’re full of it themselves.
You are a beautiful person and writer, and I hope this site offers you only good things from here on.
(And that precious child you’re carrying is so lucky to have you as a mother.)
Hmmm, I’d like to join the group but I couldn’t think of anything negative to say. Sorry.
But yes, tell them all just to Fuck Off!!!!! It’s your place, if they don’t like it go home.
seriously…sometimes i just hate people. why do people insist on making rules for YOUR blog? you can do whatever you want with it. it’s YOUR space. gosh.
i’m so glad you decided to stick around. i heart you, lady!
For what it’s worth, Reading your site reminds me to treat every minuet with my girls (and a baby on the way, hoping boy) like it may be the last and that the minuets in between are scarce. You can’t un-see or un-read, but I want you to know you are helping people, at least me, with what you share.
Believe-it-or-not, I look forward to reading even though I am seldom heard.
Have a beautiful day, I pray every day for you, the goods more frequent than bads.
Whew, his EPT was negative :-) (you are the only one who’ll get that :-) ) it’s your blog. you do whatever the bleeding hell you want. I love reading you from back whenever I started to now. You keep it real. You post you, no holds barred and no pretty shiny things to distract us or cover anything up. That is why I keep coming back.
Screw the haters, some people want everyone to be miserable with them and what are you gonna do with that? I’m glad you didn’t let it get you down. and NEVER delete. NEVER!!
I don’t care if you post once amonth, I’m still going to read you and love it.
MWAH!!!!
Honey, I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now and I CANNOT IMAGINE what there is to criticize, let alone HATE on. You’re my FAVORITE.
Remember that plagiarizer a few months back? Member that?! You did a total exposé on that bitch and it shut her DOWN. I think you should consider publishing your exposé on these trolls. You have a LOT more people who love you than who don’t and you’ve worked hard to get their attention. USE IT to raise an army in your defense and BLOW THOSE BASTARDS OFF-LINE.
I mostly lurk on this site, but I couldn’t read this and just sit here lurking away. It blows me away to hear all the ugly people out there who are so angry with life that they feel like it is okay to hurt others in such a grossly, ugly way. Especially somebody who has the courage to open up and share some of the most vulnerable details about life. I can’t tell you how deeply your blog has touched me, especially the things that you share about your little Bug. I’m not a huge crier, but some of the things I have read and lessons that you’ve shared about life really had me BAWLING like a baby.
I’ve read some of the other “big” blogger’s who are considered famous in the blogging world, and to be honest I prefer your site. Your stories are real, and your writing beautiful, it’s like crack to me…so please don’t ever stop.
So in short, you need to print off all these beautiful comments, tape them up next to your computer, and realize how many people are out there reading your blog every day, and absolutely loving it, and tell all those people who are ugly and dead inside (honestly, you have to be a pretty ugly person) that we all say FUCK OFF, leave our Lorelee alone!!!!
Girl, write for YOU. no one else matters. but if i did, I would sy that I love to read what your write.
I’m so glad you didn’t delete your blog. I haven’t been reading it long, but I’ve enjoyed ever bit of it. :)
My blog is little and I don’t spend nearly as much time on it as I should if I want it to be “successful”, but for me? Real life is more important then the Internet any day. My time is too valuable to spend entertaining people I don’t know, rather then being with those that love me.
Don’t apologize-if life has been hard, then your family comes first and screw the haters that expect you to entertain them like you’re some trained monkey.
I love your blog, I just wish I had found it sooner. :)
Happy blog anniversary, Loralee. I’m glad that you didn’t delete, though I understand why some of my favorite bloggers do it and why you would.
I’m sorry that the haters are getting you down, and I’m sorry I don’t comment more often, because I truly admire how you put so much of yourself out there, even if it’s not everything. It could never be everything, which is one of the toughest things about blogging, I think. It seems like it’s this open medium where you get to see so much of a person it can seem like enough to judge them, but really, a reader will never, ever know the whole story, no matter how detailed the writing, no matter how religiously we follow along.
Good luck to you and your precious fetus. Your family has been a small part of my prayers since I’ve been reading, and I wish you nothing but the best.
How’s that for some warm fuzzies?
You are not allowed to delete. Seriously.
And how come you aren’t following me on twitter? I can’t send you direct replies unless you do. :-)
Side note: It certainly appears that your last two readers have a LOT of back up names to use in the comments. :)
Yk, I think sometimes calling people out for their asshole behavior is cathartic. Otherwise, we bury the anger and never let it out, so it festers and we keep experiencing the same thing over and over.
And the trolls? Need to get their own life if all they have to get all angsty over is when someone does or doesn’t post on their blog. Because really? That’s a sad motherfucker.
I truly don’t understand why people would act that way. If they don’t like your blog, fine, nobody HAS to read it. Why don’t they just move on and get a life?
Anyway, I am glad you decided the positive still outweighs the negative. I hope things will calm down for you.
i love you love you love you love you
LOVE YOU.
Delurking here. I’m sure there are many others like me, who read your blog and don’t comment. (Maybe because we’re scared, but we still like you.) But something like this forces me to come out of my shell and say MEAN PEOPLE SUCK. Be yourself. People who don’t like you can just go away.
I’m sure that my little comment will be lost amid the sea of comments that have come before it, but I just wanted to reach out to you as well. My blog is small and therefore hasn’t received the hate that more popular blogs get, but I can still understand where you’re coming from. People hide behind the internet and say horrible, hateful things. I don’t know why. I don’t care to know why. But I saw a commercial on TV the other day which stated that “computers don’t have a conscience but people do.” It sure would be nice if the trolls out there would “get” that we are all people with feelings.
I’m glad you didn’t delete your blog. I love it and am always happy when a new post from you pops up in my feed reader. I wish you all the best and, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for all those horrible people stepping onto your turf and acting like a$$holes…
[...] are people out there who hate Loralee? Seriously? People are fucked up. (Stay [...]
People suck, that’s the truth of the ugliness in the world. But don’t focus on that, alot of us who are silent love your blog. We just don’t say anything. Don’t let the A-holes get you down. Don’t see the ugliness, plenty love you more than hate you, AND people are just as ugly out here out of the blogworld, too. So, don’t hit the delete button, alright?
Ditto to Kathy. And I’d always thought that the ‘don’t feed the trolls’ adage was so that *you* wouldn’t have to deal with them as much. If you’re feeling majorly stressed about it, venting here seems like it’d be perfectly appropriate, though it runs the risk of increasing trollishness in the future. But that’s YOUR decision – it sounds like you’re feeling bad for talking about trolls because you’re failing someone else, which just isn’t the case.
I have just recently found your blog and I’ve gotta say – you CANNOT delete this. I really don’t cry often, but your post for ‘Her’ made me cry AT WORK. When everyone asked why I showed them all your blog. I’ll be darned if a few of them didn’t cry either. You are awesome – despite whatever crap stupid people throw – please realize that the good outweighs the bad. Despite what it feels like in the moment. And I think all us normal people realize that this blog is not 1st priority – and it shouldn’t be. We’ll all be here when you are ready to post again.
You’re awesome.
I’m new to your blog, but one thing that amazes me with any of the people that dare say anything is that they act like you owe them. Like they pay you directly for the pleasure of reading. I’m glad you didn’t delete. I enjoy reading what you write. Please continue. :)
Don’t stop. Or, actually, stop if you want to. It’s your life and you don’t owe the Internet anything. Including explanations.
I love your blog and if you ever quit, I will misss you and always wonder about you and hope that you are OK.
I don’t understand the trolls; it’s completely beyond me. I hope I’m never big enough to have that happen. I’m sorry it’s happening to you.
People suck. The next time that happens, I think you should post it on your blog so everyone who loves you can read it, and track those losers down, and let them know what it feels like to be so horribly mistreated.
OR… just get drunk on diet coke. Whatever works.
Just don’t deleter your blog. We’d miss you. And then we’d have to kill you.
as i said last night, i think it’s good to vent something like this, especially if it’s eating you inside like this was. (and now that i read this, appropriately so.)
my god, if we all gave a shit about jerks who think they are important enough to send an email like that every time we made a decision about our writing lives online, we’d all be deleting our blogs when we need a bit of a hiatus. hell, we’ve all been there.
i know it’s hard when someone crosses that invisible line from Reader to I Can Pass Judgment On Your Life and Tell You About It, but as much as you can, DON’T LET SOMEONE THAT SMALL MAKE YOU FEEL LESS THAN YOU ARE.
thankfully, more people do NOT suck on the internet than do.
so, press forward without factoring the fleeting trolls into your decisions and happiness.
:)
Oh, and one more thing. These idiots that harass you sound awfully jealous of your success and insecure about their own abilities if they feel they need so desperately to “take you down a notch.”
Okay, this part is sickly hilarious: you don’t care and you’re not around and active on the internet because you’re too into yourself?? And here I thought the fact that we’re on the internet blogging meant we were too into ourselves! Make up your minds, trolls!
I’m sorry that some people are truly ugly. (I will say that I firmly believe that 99% of the time, these comments, though they may seem to refer to you, actually only reflect the ugliness and fear of the speakers. Not that that knowledge necessarily helps.) I’m sorry that both online and in real life horrible negative comments weigh so heavy that it takes 10 or 20 or 50 positive things to even begin to even things out (how messed up is that, and yet it feels true).
But please know that so many of us – that I – value your words and consider you a real person who is not just here for our entertainment and diversion (that’s just an added bonus, that you are funny and real and honest).
Hello…I visit your blog from occasion to occasion. I couldn’t even tell you how I found you. But I do enjoy reading your blog. Yes, I admit. I mostly lurk. I may have commented once or twice. But this post defintly deserves a comment.
I have heard of other people complaining about mean comments other people make. And I can’t quite figure out why. This is your Blog, your outlet, your story. You are not here to impress anyone. You are here because you want to be here. And I am here because I want to be. No one MAKES me read ANYONE’s blog. I don’t understand why people read other’s blog if it angers them or if they don’t like what they have to say. Then stop reading. Really, it doesn’t seem that hard.
Enough said….
Happy 3rd anniversary. Rock on!
VDog’s sister here, giving you props and *HUGS* for keepin’ on posting in spite of the meanies.
Happy blog-o-versary!!!
From a quick scan of the comments here, you have an awesome one! :D
I do not understand people who have to be so negative and mean when you are writing about your life. If you were writing about their life, then they would have a right to complain. Keep on doing what you have been doing–you are one of the few writers out there who have kept my attention, because you write from your heart. I’ll be here reading next year to celebrate your 4th blogaversary, too.
Loralee,
I am very glad you did not delete! I love your blog!
Ignore the haters! I like your blog and if you can’t write as much as other people seem to think that you should, well, screw them. You have a life, maybe they should get one too.
I’m sorry there are people out there making blogging less enjoyable for you. It’s deplorable. Good for you for continuing. Stay strong.
Hi there,
I just wanted to let you know that I have been following your blog for a month or two now, so I don’t know what it was like before, but I enjoy it just finethe way it is now. I hope you don’t take the hurtful things that this person is saying to heart. From the little glimpse I’ve had into your life from your blog you don’t seem like the type of person that deserves to be treated this way. I hope you find strength in the friends you have acquired through this site to push through this. And just know that there are people here reading your words and following your story like myself that do give a damn and hope people aren’t mean to you.
GIrl-
I am not going to lie, I wish you posted about three times a day. I was seriously freaking out when your laptop died. I wanted to send you mine, but you have yet to email me and give me your address because I am sure I come across like quite a freaker. But I would come on over to your house and do the cooking and cleaning and running kids around just so you could sit in front of your computer and blog. I love it that much!!!!
THAT BEING SAID, I will take what I can get and if you only blog once a week. I am looking forward to it. You are my favorite and I have only been reading you since last month, but in that time I have read just about everything you have ever blogged! I love it!
Please don’t stop! EVER!
I am glad that you did not delete your blog. I just found it and I very much enjoy it. I think you are hilarious and I love to read what you have to say. Those people that said all that crap about you not posting or what you should post about can just stop reading if it is that big of a deal. They are mean hearted jerks. Screw’em!
Lame-os!
Don’t go away, cause then who will I stock then?
1. You do not suck. It is your blog. Write whatever you want or do not want.
2. I am voting for the tell all post to be published.
3. I am hormonal and pregnant and just had a birthday too so do not listen to me:-)
I echo everyone else when I say how totally amazing you are and how much trolls can bite the big one. Apparently this particular emailer hasn’t really read your blog lately to see how much you have had going on. Those trolls really do think it is all about them.
Big Squishy hugs to you hon!! Happy Anniversary! (couldn’t think of another UFC’er to rhyme with today…LOL)
Delurking to say stuff the haters, and happy bloggiversary.
I so enjoy reading your blog, it makes me feel a little more normal! :) I am so glad you decided to stick around.
I am fairly sure that if I had visited this site and seen that you had pulled your blog I would have burst into big, fat, ugly-crying tears.
I’m glad that you didn’t, and it’s not just for my own selfish reasons (i.e. love to read your blog). It’s easy for someone to sit and tell you not to worry about the trolls, just ignore them, they’re projecting onto you what they see wrong with themselves. It’s something totally different when you’re the one being abused. So I’m just going to think that you’re awesome and giving a big finger and “fuck you!” to the cruel people on the Internet by keeping your blog up, running, and funny.
Coming out of my lurking status to say that I like your blog – and if I didn’t, I would just stop reading it – hate mail is just not the way to go. You don’t owe anybody anything – write what you want – it’s YOUR blog – and if they don’t like it – well, then leave! It’s not like they are paying for a subscription or something! (Ok, that was totally lame, but what I’m trying to say, don’t let nasty ignorance get the better of you)
I’m so, so glad you changed your mind. Fuck them. FUCK THEM ALL.
Loralee,
Rock on, crazy, funny woman!
You are a favorite of mine. You have a humor all your own and it cracks me up every time!
Happy Anniversary! Sorry about all the hate directed your way.
Dear Loralee,
Santa here.
You’re on my naughty AND nice list.
For this very special achievement, I shall send you a very special Christmas gift this year. Just send the names of the mean little assholes and I’ll make sure to leave coal in their stockings. And then I’ll shove the socks up their asses.
Shouting Christmas Cheer for All to Hear,
Santa
P.S. Don’t even think about deleting this blog. Mrs. Claus is a huge fan and she’s quite creative with the coal, herself. Um, I’ve heard.
Somebody actually wrote to you that they are going to stop reading because you don’t update enough? I think that somebody needs to get a life. You’re not required to post specific content or post at specific intervals. It’s your blog, do with it what you want. (Except don’t delete it. Please!)
I didn’t read ALL the comments (you’re a popular gal, little lady!), but I wanted to send out some cousin-in-law love out to you! I’ve been enjoying reading your blog and am SO saddened to hear about this happening to you. Chin up! Hope to see you soon!
I really boggle at people taking the time to tell you they don’t like your blog.
The key word is ‘YOUR’ blog..not theirs. If they don’t likeee don’t readee.
And why are you supposed to care what ‘they’ think anyway?
Your blog….blog…not a public site…not a paid for site…YOUR blog.
To do with as you wish…
Is that not the point of personal blogs?
While I try to be pretty open on mine..I also hold back…and sometimes because I just can’t share..and then yeah I am sure the blog suffers.
And sometimes I am just not into it..but because it is MY blog….that is just fine.
You are SOO popular that you are getting this awful harrassment. It seems to be the way of things these days.
I’m a fan of you. But then, I would hope you already know that. Mad love to you, babe, and all I can hope is that you (keep writing, and) do your best to ignore people who clearly are lacking quite a lot of peace and ambition in their own lives to be attacking yours. xoxo
Wowzers. I mean, I hope you read this comment because I would be so narcissistically injured if you didn’t—
Rather than coming out and saying, “You’re blog is awesome,!” I think I can put it this way and it will be more important and, somehow, more appropriate: You do an amazing job of transcribing your thoughts and feelings here on your blog. It isn’t often that you can get such a realistic sense of how painful (or wonderful, of course) an experience is by reading their account of it.
I always know that when I visit here, I’ll find something meaningful. ALWAYS.
And about that commenter: That is so unbelievable invasive and caustic and angry and unsettling, you’d have been right to delete your blog to protect yourself from such blasphemy. But I’m glad you didn’t, because that person is not just your everyday depressive. That person is very sick—not depressed sick, angry, raging sick—and they need help. Right away. People of sound-ish mind don’t say something like that, especially to someone they don’t know. It is psychotic.
Cheers to you and your blog! Happy three!
Clink clink!
Sick, I just reread my comment and realized that I wrote to fast and skipped edits. Sorry for the grammatical snafoos. Poop.
I’m not a regular reader, but when I hear that my fellow mommy bloggers are being trolled and harassed and then wanna quit, I get all protective and mad. So, don’t quit so I can start reading you.
Lorelee I LOVE reading your blog. I’m so glad you didn’t delete it. You’re awesome and I can’t help sharing your blog with my friends. Never give up, even when people suck sometimes, you’re a million times better than them anyway.
I’m glad you didn’t set fire to this place. :o)
You’ve made an impact on me.
You are a talented writer.
I love your honesty.
I admire your strength.
I enjoy reading your blog.
I hope to be able to keep visiting you here for a long, long time.
Hey Lo! Look, I’m commentor 122, and we all love you. Seriously. That’s pretty damn cool. Keep blogging babe!
I’ve stumbled across some of the disgusting, vile, unbelievably heartless hate sites you may be talking about, and I’m SO sorry you have to deal with that shit.
You’re an amazing writer, and the people who love reading you CRUSH the people who don’t. You do what’s best for you, whatever that is.
Selfishly, I hope it doesn’t mean ever getting that close to hitting the delete button again. ;)
[...] times sand is thrown. It gets stuck in the eyes of a person who deeply needs to see that not everyone is important to her walk along this beach. The sand sticks to the skin of others caught in the crossfire. It’s gritty and hurts all [...]
xo
Feels sort of redundant at this point… but I wanted to say happy anniversary and I’m glad you didn’t let them win.
You rock. You know it. You know I know it.
As do the other, wait, holy hell, 125 other people responding.
Haters? Meh.
You have the love babe.
I think with all the commenting love, you have your answer as to why you shouldn’t delete your blog.
Congrats for sticking around for three years and no letting the haters win.
I just wanted to add my name to the clamour that says “noooo, don’t do it!”. In any case we all blog for OURSELVES and not just the one person who feels that they should be pampered to!! s’there!
De-lurking to say, “PLEASE, do NOT delete!”
Would miss you. Happy third. Ignore the doodieheads, it’s not for them anyway.
I am so very sorry Loralee. So very sorry. No one ever deserves to have such hateful things written about them. NEVER.
I’m glad you’re still here and I hope you stay around knowing that there are far more that support you than you know!
*hugs*
Oh, and happy blogoversary!
Loralee,
You know I’m old enough to be your mother (66). My son is your age, (34).
I was in the blogging class at BSU when a classmate ‘found’ you, and I started reading you every day.
You have brought me joy, laughter, and yes, tears. Your writing is honest, which is more than I can say about some other blogs! I enjoy hearing about your struggles with things in your life, and how you have overcome so many fears.
When you posted the ‘Veterans’ Tribute’, I cried so hard! Your venture to conquer your fear of things was awe-inspiring! (the videos of you sky-diving!, and riding a horse!)
You have taught this ‘old one’ to try new things, not be afraid, look on the bright side, etc. and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.
Don’t let negative people dictate how you should write your blog, or how you should live your life, please!!!!!!
I love you, Loralee, and if I ever meet you in person, you will get the biggest hug and KNOW that this ‘old blogger’ has been profoundly touched by your honesty, caring, humor, and bravery.
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just discovered you recently from the program you were on with Seriously, So Blessed. I immediately put you on my blog reader. I like your blog. The trolls can all go to heck. (”heck” = my lame attempt to bring your family friendly rating back-ha!) :)
I don’t even understand what it is you write that could be so offensive. I love your blog and I’m glad it’s gonna get to be another year old.
Taking the anonymous route because I used to be a troll. This isn’t an easy thing to admit. It was in the days when I blogged and it got very out of hand. I was motivated by jealousy.
I wasn’t a great blogger. I worked at it very hard, but I never seemed to have the same successes as my peers. At some point, I can’t explain why, I got eaten up by jealousy and my own perceived failures.
I started sending hate mail to bloggers I was jealous of. I wanted to hurt them the way that their success hurt me. Several of them thought I was their friend, that is the worst of it. One of them even cried on my shoulder about it.
One day I had a conversation with my husband and he was talking about trollish behavior on the internet and how sick the people are that do it and I burst into tears. I admitted what I had done. He was very supportive and he made an appointment for me to go talk to someone.
A year later, I am doing a lot better but I will always have to live with knowing I hurt people so much and in such a cowardly way.
Even in my worst emails, I would never ever have put your dead son into the equation. I cannot imagine what the motivation is there and I am so sorry that is something you experienced.
I do not think that you were wrong to post about your feeling, either. I think that you have had a lot of attacks and at some point talking about it is the best thing you can do. You need to see that there are many more people that love you than that do not.
I am so ashamed of my past behavior and I feel so bad that someone out there wants to hurt you, but I am hoping to try and make up for it by telling you my story. I hope it helps.
Much Internet luv to you…(and happy belated birthday!!!)
As much as I love the internet, sometimes I hate it. I think some people feel it gives them a free license to be an idiot without repercussions. Go to any youtube video or news article and then scroll down to the comments – you’re bound to find someone making outrageous, and sometimes really sick, comments.
I don’t think it’s every going to stop. If it’s possible to identify the haters before opening the e-mail, I’d suggest just trying to delete them without even reading. p.s. happy belated birthday :-)
@a former troll
Wow. That is a really brave thing to cop to. I’m glad that you stopped and are trying to make amends because it is really hurtful to be on the receiving end. But I appreciate your candor and am glad you found someone to talk to.
I miss you.
I am another who just found your blog and I am so glad that you did not shut it down!I love reading it! It’s too bad there are people out there who try to tear others down. They need to get lives.
Happy 3rd Blogiversary!! :)
You are on my favorites bar and I do check in occasionally because I have several bloggers I keep track of (in lieu of actually writing something myself, or for that matter, doing something worth writing about)and I, for one, enjoy your site a lot. Can you block certain addresses from reaching you? You are a delightful, talented, interesting person. That’s the definitive word on that. You can now go on with the rest of your life with your pinkie poised over the del button in case of any unpleasant word so you won’t have to put up with two unpleasant words in a row!
Found you through karen sugarpants. After reading this, I’m a new reader. Your writing was very heartfelt and raw. I admire that.
Congrats on your 3 year anniversary!
First off, I don’t think your blog has turned to shit. Secondly there is NEVER a need to apologize for writing what you feel like writing or participating in the blogosphere as much as you willing and able.
I’m beyond sorry someone got to you like that. I’m beyond happy you’d didn’t hit delete.
I’m a longtime reader. I found you through Jessica back when she was VeryMom. I was very troubled after you posted pictures of you kissing another woman*, but I can’t quit you! I don’t think your blog has gone downhill. Your posting frequency is less, but I think your blog is still great. I love your honesty.
(*I only had a problem with it because you’re married and not in an open marriage, not because it was a woman.)
@Katie
Have I ever said I wasn’t in an open marriage??? (I kid)
I don’t mind that other people take exception to things I do. They have that right. A lot of people took issues with those photos for various reasons. Over 40 people quit reading me after that. I’m glad that you didn’t. I didn’t mean to piss people off.
At the end of the day, though, they were taken in a fun lighthearted moment, the people in the pictures were fine with them, the spouses of the people in the pictures were totally fine with them and it wasn’t at all a sexual thing. It did not bother Jonathan even a tiny, teeny bit. And if my husband is fine with it, that is the opinion that counts with me.
However, I also realize that my boundaries and what I consider playful fun will not always mesh with other people’s definitions of it.
Ok…So this is the VERY FIRST TIME I have EVER read your blog. And now I will be reading it faithfully. I love that you are honest and true. And don’t take crap from anyone. Much the same as me. I’m glad that you thought things through and didn’t delete your blog, or I wouldn’t be able to read your rant which made me feel human and realistic towards this whole “blogging” thing. I am new at this, but have poured my heart into my words. I hate that people are so opinionated. Keep it to yourself and do us all a freaking favor, jackass!
@Katie…
I was that other woman. *Ducks* It was innocent, and totally in the interest of hilarity. I see why some people took exception to it, but really, it was an “i love you like my sister” kiss, that’s it. :)
I read you blog, then don’t read it, then come back and read it again.
It’s nothing personal.
I read so many different blogs, some get lost in the shuffle – or some I just take a break and come back.. stuff like that.
People who waste time writing such hateful emails are shit! And I’m sorry that happened to you.
Happy Birthday by the way.
And Happy Blogiversary.
I think the internet would implode if you shut down your blog. You are one of those people who leaves a pretty big void in your absence. Just from what I’ve read here on your blog recently (I haven’t been reading you very long) you have some pretty loyal readers that could maybe make up for the horrible, small, ugly people that say hurtful things to you. Keep blogging. Don’t let them win.
Hi, first time here! I was directed here via Google Reader Shared and just had to comment. First of all, Happy 3rd Blogiversary!
Secondly, I have wanted to shut down my blog about 10 times because of stupid things that were said to me and/or hurt my feelings on a completely fucked up level. (Oooh I hope I can cuss here cause I do it a ton!). It really makes me happy, even though I don’t know you, that you were able to remember all of the good and keep from deleting!
Also, I really know what it’s like to want to post something with names, dates, IPs and most of all, the true facts of a situation. I have several drafts calling people out and even though I will never publish them, because I hate blog drama, it felt good to write them!
Damn. This post makes me really glad I’m a shitty writer with three people who read my blog. That’s my round-about, shitty-writer way of saying I dig your blog and I’ll never hold you to an update schedule ’cause you’re, like, a human and stuff.
Good lord, you’re supposed to act like you “care about the internet”? I think that’s the most bizarre string of words I’ve ever read online. You’re a good person, Loralee, and I’m sorry the assholes have been coming out of the woodwork. I think you made the right choice in saying something. Good for you! Hugs.
I was thinking about you today. Sorry there are trolls out there who say horrible things. I’m glad you have sweet and loyal readers to support you. Hugs.
I’m over here through Headless Mom’s blog just to give you some more good comments to offset the nasty. The best thing about blogging for me has been the relationships I’ve built, but the worst thing about blogging has been the few mean commenters I’ve gotten.
I too have been a lurker for a while and am hooked. I am sorry you have to deal with the haters; I will never understand how people can be so cruel. Know that you are loved and have inspired and touched many people.
You rock, your blog rocks and mean people suck.
Happy blogiversary and Happy Birthday!
I am so sorry you were right there, on the edge, ready to delete . . .
Thankfull that you didn’t, however. Nobody, I mean nobody – has a right to say the things to you (or anyone else) that you described. “Putting it out there” does not give the trolls a free pass to be cruel and I completely agree with NOT being silent when things are being flung. You have a voice, you can use it and I am all for that.
Happy Blog-o-versary. I hope you continue to share your words with those who like tho read them and the rest can just keep on movin’ if they don’t like it.
You can’t. I don’t think my comment requires any more explanation than that. It really is that simple.
Anyway, if you did, I would have to hunt down the assholes that brought you to that point and fuck them up personally. Since I’m 800 months pregnant myself at this point, that would be a LOT of effort, so for my sake, just don’t do it.
Sorry for the cussing Loralee’s Mom.
There’s a funny fake Latin saying: Non illegitamatum carborundum – “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.”
First time reader – sent here via Karen. I can’t believe the stuff trolls have said to you! I’d love to kick there asses, there are some things that should NEVER BE SAID, especially when it’s just because you “hate” someone’s blog. Don’t read it then.
I hope you don’t delete your blog, although I just started reading I love your writings.
Don’t delete, PLEASE???? I had a similar battle this summer and I decided that the person who made me think of deleting my blog would have won.
You’re going through A LOT. And if you delete your blog, then I have no hope in hell of meeting you at BlogHer.
And then swearing? totally acceptable in this case.
I for one am glad you didn’t delete! Sorry to hear about the trolls.
A blog can be a great place, but it can NEVER replace real events in your life. NEVER. It’s not that I don’t appreciate my readers, but most of them aren’t in my day-to-day life and if life gets busy, the blog goes bust. Period. My life is more important than my blog.
It’s the internet. People need to stop taking it so seriously.
Like Kathie, I haven’t been here that long, I’m sort of a new reader here. And if this is crap, then you must be amazing! I enjoy your blog every time you post. Don’t let those people get to you. They don’t matter, they choose to spend their spare time being mean and promoting negativity rather than doing something productive or putting positive thoughts out there about something they DO like. We loves you, and are really glad you didn’t hit that button!
i feel your pain. i am here to kick ass as needed.
You are one of the best gifts the Internet has given me. Do not take that away.
Love you!
I deleted my former blog in a fit of something. It was a relief at first, and then I panicked. But, too late.
I launched another blog a few months, later never really jumped back into the fray. I was very happy though when a friend realized she had saved most of my old posts in her Reader.
If you find yourself there again, my advice would be to let your blog suffer some benign neglect instead of removing it entirely.
I’m going to hope there is not a battle looming over my comment here because I don’t have time to read all of these gajillions of comments before I write mine.
Wait. What? I don’t have time to read 166 comments on someone else’s blog before I spout off?
Yes.
You know what else? I don’t have time to write according to anyone else’s schedule but my own. Or on someone else’s terms. I’ll eat my own hair before I write around someone else’s sense of content.
And I have a lot of hair. It gets kind of nappy close to my neck, too, so you know that’ll be rough going down.
Internet recluse? I might share my crown with you if you ask nicely… because I own the shoddy presence title.
I own me. Those that stick around are so worth it. On my good days, I like to think that I’m worth it to them.
Because, you know, I’m so full of myself, too.
Hi LoraLee…
I’m hit and miss on your blog… because Google Reader scares me and sometimes I forget to check my own blog, much less someone elses. I just wanted to encourage you to keep fighting the good fight. In my years of blogging, I’ve been relatively lucky to remain largely anonymous, but there have been one or two crazies that said some terrible, awful things. I’ve just come to understand that just like people go to sporting events and put on their “fan” hat, which allows them to behave against all common societal mores, so to do idiot bloggers who you know would ask for you autograph if they came face-to-face with you. There’s a lot of anger in the world, so it makes sense that there’s a lot of anger online.
That’s all I wanted to say. Keep your head up. Us Utah bloggers depend on you and Dooce!
Oy. So many bullies on the playground. Jerkoffs.
Happy Blogoversary!
How sad that there are losers out there that have to make others feel like shit in order to try and feel good about themselves. It never works so ultimately, they are STILL BIG FAT LOSERS.
You are awesome girl…and your blog has not been sucking at all. It’s all good. Don’t you worry about a thang..
It’s not about them, it’s about you. It’s fabulous that so many people read you and love you, but you write for yourself first. Glad to see you still being strong.
I just did a whole post on how sick I was of this. (not you obviously) But this idea that we can be mean to each other b/c it’s online and therefore not “real.” It is real and peoples feelings get hurt and its time to just stop.
I’m sorry this happened to you.
I JUST today discovered your blog, and read many many of your posts. To be perfectly honest, reading “many many of your posts” basically means that i’ve been sitting on my ass for the last 2 hours creepin’ your blog. My conclusion- you are an amazing creature, lol.Don’t delete! i’ve already favorited your site!