You may have noticed that the post that I posted on Sunday with our family photos has been taken down.
It because my husband is very unhappy about a photo I used. For those that saw it it was the one I published of him playfully groping me. I thought it was hilarious and funny, he thought it wasn’t. He wanted me to remove the one photo but I took the whole damn thing down. I suppose if he ever said anything about my blog that wasn’t a criticism I would have taken the whole thing better.
He thinks my blog is colossally pointless and has blatantly stated that he cannot bring himself to be proud of me in any way regarding it.
I try to be as respectful as I can in regards to what I share and what I don’t. I know it seems like I am one of the more open and blunt bloggers out there but compared with the massive amount of stuff that is my life???? I blog about MAYBE 10% of it. I rarely write about Jonathan because I know he hates it. Hell, I mainly just try to write only about me because it seems like no matter what I do (or don’t do) it pisses somebody off.
I’m angry.
I’m hurt.
And guess what?
I CAN’T EFFING TALK ABOUT IT ON THE DAMN INTERNET.
I really could give a frig about the photograph. It is a much deeper issue than that.
So, there you are.
The great photography fight of Aught Eight.
Yay.
Do any of you have spouses, partners, family that have issues with your blog? How do you deal?
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
Oh hell yes. I am in the same boat with you in regards to the husband-not-digging-my-blog thing. It pisses me off to no end. My mom might be worse though. She is so concerned about who might be reading it, crazies could be stalking us, what will people think when they find out we are normal and flawed?!? Ugh. Screw it. I love your blog. I love your thoughts. I love your photos. I love your honesty. Keep it up!
Headless Dad doesn’t get it. He tries, bless his heart, but it goes right over his head. I learned a few months ago that I can’t say anything about him on my blog that might be seen in anyway other than sunshine and roses because people at his work read me and Lordy! how those people talk!
Anyway, sorry that you fought. That stinks. I loved the pics, btw. All of them. You really looked like a family that loves each other and has fun together. I totally understand and would have done the same thing in the interest of marital peace.
Headless Moms last blog post..BFL-WEEK 5
Oh, you certainly aren’t alone! I didn’t even tell Briefcase (my husband) about my blog for the first few weeks. When I did his first question was, “Have you blogged about my family?” Those psychos? Hell no! And so his family is off limits. As is anything pretty much related to Briefcase himself and/or our marriage. And wouldn’t you just love to let off steam thru your writing if you have a tiff? But no, it’s off limits. So I keep it focused on what I’m doing … and hell, how interesting am I? Very on some days and not at all on others. You aren’t alone in this! Congrats on the pregnancy! I’m new to your blog and fairly new to the blogosphere. I really enjoy your site!
Personally I thought the photo was hilarious. And something my husband and I would do too.
My husband has never asked me to remove anything from my blog, but I did ruffle some feathers with his family with some posts I wrote about his mom. I chose to ignore them and told them not read my blog if they didn’t like it. Of course, in-laws are completely different than your spouse so I’m probably not being very helpful.
Christines last blog post..The last of the single digit birthdays
My husband is always annoyed with my blog. He worries about me over-sharing, posting photos of the kids, etc. He understands that it’s an outlet for me and something that I actually really enjoy, but he doesn’t really “get it.” It doesn’t make any sense to him that I find other blogger interesting and connecting with them on-line is rewarding. And yes, sharing some of our secrets is part of that. Writing about life helps me deal with life.
But yes, out of respect for him there is A LOT that I don’t write about. I have several posts that I won’t publish on my own blog. Maybe I will send them to Her Bad Mother’s Basement.
Mama Ginger Trees last blog post..Be Careful What You Wish For
Oh sweetie, that is terrible. I actually yell at mine for reading my blog.
He is all ‘But I want to know about yoooooou, and you are funny!’
And I am all ‘You are just checking out if I am flashing my boobs again or any men comment’
And he is all leaving the room like.
Turd.
MPS (my husband) is relieved I am socialising on the internet and not out in public, cause then he doesn’t have to pick up my drunk arse, and I won’t have half as many excuses to buy shoes.
And lastly, that photo that got his knickers in a twist? I thought it was awesome. It showed how comfortable you are with each other, and a sense of fun.
Kelleys last blog post..Best laid plans.
My mom and my husband both know about my blog and they are the only two. They are supportive because they encourage me to write, because they get tired of listening to me rant and rave like the lunatic that I am, so I take it to the net.
However none of our extended family knows about it, or if they do they don’t give me any flack. Probably because they are afraid of my giving them a knuckle sandwich, but that’s just me and I’m a redneck.
I am so very sorry that your husband can’t or won’t be proud of you. That’s really mean and uncalled for. THIS IS YOUR LIFE AND THESE ARE YOUR FEELINGS AND YOU HAVE EVERY SINGLE RIGHT TO THEM.
If it were me, I would tell him to get his own damn blog and bitch about it there or just GET BENT. But again I’m a RAVING REDNECK!
You know it’s not like you post your name and address and that we are going to come to your house and shun him or publicly flog him for groping you. He really needs to lighten up.
I’m a new reader and I really enjoy your writing. Your post about losing Matthew brought me to tears. I have added you to my nightly prayers for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.
Heather P.s last blog post..4 things meme
I keep most of the personal stuff between my boyfriend and I off the blog but he’s a blogger himself so he gets it. I feel very lucky about that right about now. I’m sorry you are hurt and angry.
sizzles last blog post..Whole New Meaning to Making a Deposit
My husband blogs “professionally” so he wants me to be careful when I blog. I guess I censor myself to a certain extent but he doesn’t read my blog at all so I could probably get away with quite a bit. But I am careful not to post photos of him.
I enjoyed your photos yesterday – sorry hubby has nothing but criticism for your blog. I think that it is difficult to “get” blogging unless you do it. I know that before I started to blog I couldn’t understand the fascination with the lives of others. Now I can’t live without it.
Renée aka Mekhismoms last blog post..A new day
I made a super-secret by invite only blog. I only use it when I am about to burst. If you want, send me your email and you can be on my list.
I had the same issue with my ex. He thought blogging was stupid and self-indulgent. After I broke up with him, he started his own blog. Go figure.
My hubby definately does NOT get it. He makes fun of me often about it. He calls it my 13 year old girls journal that I share with the world.
Whatever….
BTW – congratulations on the pregnancy! I’m really excited for you! (and for sarcastic mom too!)
I have two blogs – one my parents and inlaws know about and one they do not. I enjoy blogging – so, hubby can suck it… (I’m seriously not bitter – or disturbed by his ignorance… It’s what I consider a ME thing. And I don’t really care if he “approves” or not.)
Hecticmom Undones last blog post..No on Prop 8
Marco ’twas once a blogger (which played a huge part in how we met) so he gets the whole blog thing. Both of us used our blogs to reach out to other people when we were lonely, but now we’re not, hence me not blogging so much anymore despite how much I may promise. Now, if my family ever found out about my blog… especially the post where I refer to my birthday as the day I came out of my mother’s black hole. Yikes.
I thought the pictures were adorable (and they’re still viewable in Reader… delete this comment if you need to). I think Jonathan should be proud of your blog and happy for you, but on the flip side, I also understand if he has concerns about privacy. I have no privacy boundaries myself. I have 28 students who could easily find my blog if they wished, but I really don’t care.
So I don’t know. And that’s all I can say.
Dougs last blog post..Delayed from 43201
I usually just stab them with dirty q-tips.
It doesn’t help. It only angers them further.
fwooms last blog post..Geeking Out
I’ll start by saying that I’m sorry you guys are fighting and I’m more sorry that your husband never has anything positive or supportive to say about your blog. I think that even if he doesn’t understand it, he should find a way to support it if he sees it’s something you love. Has he read your comments section on any given day? To see that kind of support for you should make him proud and make him understand why blogging for you is a good thing. BUT, having said that, I also feel that if his stories, his photos, or anything else relating to him shows up on your blog, he has a right to ask you to take it down and you should oblige. Again, I’m sorry you’re fighting particularly during such a happy time.
merlotmoms last blog post..Give Me The Grateful Life – Monday
I’m so glad I scored the cop a feel picture before you took it down. He probably freaked out because I said I was going to use it as wallpaper.(it was a joke, lame, but a joke) As for me, I would like to have the family members that still talk to me continue to do so, thus I am careful who I write about.
witchypoos last blog post..Domestic Training
I thought the photo was fabulous. What I dont think is fabulous is his reaction.
Does he know what a feed reader is? Time to untwist the panties hub and embrace your hot pregnant wife like that again.
Misss last blog post..She keeps inviting me back….
Sorry you guys had a fight about this. That sucks.
I don’t have a husband (so no problem there) and my father can’t read English (I’d better be careful with pictures though). The kids are still too small to read my blog but my elder isn’t thrilled that I write about him so I rarely mention it.
Actually my boyfriend does not know about my blog, but it is still fairly new. I have a different website for family stuff that he does know about, and it ok with. Personally I didn’t see anything wrong with the pic and thought it was great to see you guys being that comfortable to be photographed that way.
Mels last blog post..Shhhh… Do you hear that?
Jon isn’t a bad guy I am just tired of feeling bad about this subject. I also have to really try to decrease my stress so I am finally talking about this issue. It has been brewing from the start of my blog.
For those wondering, my husband is a very versed computer geek and LOATHES all personal ANYTHING being out on the net. I don’t live in a damn bubble, and try to keep it to a minimum that I mention him, but I do not blame him for being concerned, I really don’t.
Still… :S
The photo by itself isn’t a huge deal to me. It just triggered a damn of pent up frustration and sadness about how he feels about me and the areas I am talented in. How my husband looks and feels about me.
How inadequate I feel from it.
To be blunt, nothing I am good at makes money. I sing. I act. I can be funny and write about my ta-tas on the internet.
I bring in little to zero income to our marriage.
Jon’s a very logical guy. He sees the time invested vs. returns as highly “not worth it”, I guess.
He would rather me spend my time cleaning or doing something he sees as productive. (I suck at homemaking. Just so you know.)
I have no idea why he isn’t proud of any aspect of it. I have come soooooo far. Learned so damn much. I have a following and readers that I LOVE, NEED and am so damn proud of. The progress of Looney Tunes amazes me. I’m sure if you asked ANYONE who has been reading from the beginning and they will tell you the same thing.
I don’t expect him to “Get” blogging. I DO think that if I love it so much it should matter. Hell, even if THAT isn’t a concern, I have STUCK to this and worked regularly, with discipline and purpose for THREE YEARS because despite how much I wish to be different, I am lazy and inconsistent to the extreme. For someone who was once told that the only consistent I had in my life is that I am “Consistently inconsistent” I think my track record with this place is amazing.
Anyway, just clarifying. I had to talk about it because seriously…I am an emotional mess right now and I can’t keep it inside. I have to stress less.
My main goal isn’t to disrespect my husband nor to beat him up (or have anyone else do it), just to pour out my frustration and hear some advice.
Y’all should probably expect Jon to read what you say here. Just a gentle reminder.
John has gotten uncomfortable with some things I’ve written about, and some of the things I do (he doesn’t like my whole “BEWB” thing much).
Mostly, just talking about them (the issues, not my boobs) between us helps him see my point of view. He sees how important it is to me to say certain things, and I try to be really open to his feelings about what I say and do. Because yes, it is my blog, my place to have a creative outlet… but he is still my husband, and I respect and care about his feelings no matter whether we disagree or not.
We have had mild discussions about some things, arguments about some things, and blow outs about a few. In the end, we sometimes agree to disagree, but most of the time even if the initial confrontation ended badly, we go back to one another and come to an agreement.
I think the key is respect and understanding on both sides. (Even if it takes 2 or 3 discussions before it’s evident.)
Muah <3
Sarcastic Moms last blog post..I Gots The Feevah
My husband isn’t sure what to make of it- I think it weirds him out a little that people we don’t know have a little window into our life and he definitely gets a little self-conscious bout what people we DO know might learn about us!- so I am pretty careful about what I share- plus, he reads it as does my 11yo daughter. SHE is super excited about it and is always asking if I wrote anything new and wants to hear me read it out loud and is now getting excited about writing. So that is very gratifying-
Margies last blog post..I don’t know WHERE she gets this from
When I first started writing it, FabGrandpa thought it was stupid. and he said so frequently. But, after about a year, I started getting offers to write for PAY for print publications, and on websites. When the checks started rolling in, he started singing a different tune. Funny thing is, I don’t think I am that great a writer, but who am I to know???
He does not read my blog, although he does know about it. I don’t write anything about extended family though, unless it is something nice, because my sister reads, and so does my father in law. And my sister tells my mother every thing I write.
And you know what, I loved that picture of you and your hubby. It showed more love than you can imagine, as well as a fun sense of humor and the easiness of you two being together. I hope he changes him mind about it.
Karens last blog post..Project 365 Day 1
Oh I am feeling for you. My husband couldn’t care less about my blog and it hurts so much that he can’t even be bothered to click over to it to see what’s going on. If a family member mentions that I have written about him – he gets all angry and anxious. I just wish he could be supportive of my interests – But like your husband, mine only sees that its not providing an income so its pretty worthless stuff.
Allycats last blog post..More Mystery Bay
“has blatantly stated that he cannot bring himself to be proud of me in any way regarding it.”
I could see the hurt you feel over this. We are dealing with this in our marriage right now. It is so hard to deal with unmet expectations in marriage. I have no idea how to do it, and I hope you figure it out first! I cannot be proud of my husband for the things I expected and want to be proud of because he does not do them. So I’ve had to find alternate things to be grateful for and proud of. It’s all the rage to write down things you’re grateful for, but I think it could help. Obviously you’re not the one who needs this lesson, but you mentioned he might read this ;-)
My fiance and I met through an online dating service (match.com). So, when I started my blog, he couldn’t get it out of his head that the only reason people go online to communicate with one another is to date. It was a point of contention for us for a while (despite the fact that 99% of my readership is women!). Finally, he decided my was better left in the blogosphere. He stopped reading it. Since then, he’s been much much better. He knows I write respectfully when it comes to subjects about him and is ok when I talk about particular subjects in which I’ve written or read. It seems to be much better balanced these days. Maybe your husband should just turn off your blog if he doesn’t like what he reads?
Nilsas last blog post..Madonna
you need to stop measuring your value to your husband/family/self in terms of income you can bring in. You are raising your children and that is something that you cannot put a price on. (If you need to figure out what you are worth in net dollars, then price a nanny, housekeeper, sex goddess!) I do understand where you are coming from, I am a stay home mom to triplet almost 18 year olds and will soon be losing my job– kids going away to college and I am wondering what I can do to earn some money.
Your blog is not a waste of time for you, it is a form of therapy. Time for you to do for yourself and release all that pent up stuff from mommy/wifedom. You are passionate about life and it shows in your writing.
To keep it brief, and profane, to those that take issue with what I write I simply say “too damn bad” and “suck it the fuck up.” They don’t have to read what you write, it’s that simple. For far too long I held back a lot on my blog, but now the gloves are long gone. Might I piss family off? Probably. But if they hadn’t pissed me off in the first place I wouldn’t feel the need to get it off my chest. And it’s not like I am using their real names and telling the world where they live. When it comes up that they bragged about my blog to their friends or extended families, I refer them back to my earlier two quotes.
Harsh? Yes, but so is life sometimes. And I’m not writing for popularity, I’m writing for me. So I can get things out and they don’t stay bottled up to the point where things get really bad.
Wills last blog post..Happy Birthday Daddy
Ouch. Since I blog about very personal things, even though most of my stuff is from a humerous p.o.v., it’s still my inner me and any criticism of it really cuts. My husband seems fairly neutral on the subject, although he once said I don’t post anything nice about him. (NOT true, btw) I don’t know, I would be very hurt and feel betrayed if my husband belittled my little project.
HeatherPrides last blog post..6 Coffins
Issues with my blog?
Good Lord yes! At one point I managed to tick off all of Northern Minnesota.
Thankfully, I have never had problems with my wife and my blog, even though at times I should have! She understands that some people need to tell the world how they feel and if I cross the line she lets me know.
I understand your man not wanting his life broadcast to the world, but I think he could come your way a little on this place and what it means to you.
As I recall, you started this blog as a cry for help in hopes to heal, and I am all but certain the only reason he still has magical boobies to cop is because of your writing.
If I had my choice between a wife still in my life or a private life all alone I know which one I would pick.
I may be way off on that in your case, but statistics and experience tell me you two have beaten the odds when it comes to sticking together through tragedy.
From one artist to another – The world does not need more people working for a living, the world needs more people living passionately. :)
Davies last blog post..Piglet
So Sorry he is being like this. I don’t get why he wouldn’t be proud of you. YOU ROCK!
My first blog was a food blog. He was cool with it.
Then I did the kid’s blog and only my family was reading it. Then, I made friends and he made me change their names and his name and I can’t mention what he does for a living. Fine. He thinks blogging is a fad. I suppose he would think differently if I were actually making money from it.
What he completely doesn’t understand is Twitter! LOL!
Connies last blog post..Tracey Update
i think your husband and my husband should get together and go bowling.
heh.
alis last blog post..Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
I give my wife veto power over anything that mentions her, basically. That seems to be working out pretty well.
jon deals last blog post..I Don’t Even Know What to Say Here
My current post addresses why I blog about my sons but not much about my daughter.
In terms of hubby – he has wondered aloud why I don’t do something “worthwhile” with my blog. Like ask the wimmins for cleaning and organizing advice. Nice huh? I’ve also taken a picture down of him that he did not appreciate having up, so I avoid pictures of him now altogether. And he’s bitched about a couple of posts that mentioned things like his chronic tardiness, which is notorious but I guess if you don’t have a sense of humor, you don’t like to see it out there.
I generally have decided though not to censor myself just because he’s reading in any way other than photos and too much written about him.
Well nobody knows about my blog so I am ok. At this point I am blogging anonymously because of the nature of what I am talking about. I can guarantee you my husband would be freaked out if he knew I had a blog!
Keep sharing yourself with us, Loralee. I know it has helped me when others share their personal struggles. I feel like I am not alone even though my own struggles are different. And today it is good to read that I am not alone.
heartache heartburns last blog post..Today
My hubby, as you know, has had issues with my blog from day 1- private issues made public, strangers getting info you don’t want out there. At first, it really bothered me, I mean, It’s MY blog, my outlet, right? But after reading some articles about blogging and security, I could see some of his point.
1)Although it is MY blog, I don’t answer to just me. I am my hubby’s wife, and my son’s mom. I am a teacher in church, and a daughter. All these people are affected by what I choose to write and post.
2)There are a lot of nutty people out there, with strange ideas. I wouldn’t want to give them any more fuel for their freaky fire!
So, although I do vent, do post funny happenings- I try to make sure that those funny “embarassing” things get left off. Sometimes I really want to share them, but I know it would embarass my husband, so I don’t.
Lastly, I think you can be as proud of yourself as you want! However, we have to accept that blogging is OUR thing, and they will never get it. That’s ok. They get clean kitchens and folded laundry, and most importantly, yummy food in their tummy. Yes, and money. But, my hubby recognizes that my job as a mom will never make money, and neither will my blog.
My blog helps keep me sane, and he may never know exactly how insane I could become without it!
Erin Taylors last blog post..Jury Duty….
I thought the picture showed the sense of humor you both have and I loved it. Keep writing because you are good at it and you enjoy it and it is theraputic. My other half doesn’t get that I like to scrapbook and I like to hand make invitations. He thinks it is a waste of time and money. But it is my therapy and my retreat so I keep on doing it.
Every time one of my aunts reads my blog she feels the need to call me and tell me the exact number of times that I’ve said ‘fuck’ in a post and to exclaim just how disappointed she is with me for using that word so many times because I can do better than that, etc. etc. and then I fall asleep because I’m still going to say ‘fuck’ in a blog post.
Heather B.s last blog post..Patriotism defined
I wondered if there would be any fireworks about that, or any of the photos, since you said at lunch that one time (that was fun!) that he didn’t really approve.
I’m sorry, too. Luckily my husband has been ultra-supportive of mine, and always defends me from trolls, even if just to me. It always makes me feel better. I know if my blog was actually PROFITABLE, like yours, he would love it even more.
But, for the first time in my life, I have recently found out I’ve been hurting feelings of people I love for a long time. I had NO idea, and it is a wretched thing to discover. Especially two days before one’s birthday. At first I thought about just quitting my blog altogether, but I can’t please everyone, so now I’m just thinking of posting a disclaimer. What else can I do, y’know?
Camilles last blog post..Nobody Scream, But I Might Just Be a Democrat.
To be honest, I was a little embarrassed for him when I saw the photo… Not to say that you should be embarrassed for it, but because I know that if I posted a picture like that, my husband would be VERRRRRRY un-okay with it.
I’m not trying to be mean to you at all; just trying to help you see the other side of it. My husband would be concerned that his employer would see the picture, that his mom would see the picture, that his great great grandma Sally would see the picture. People that he doesn’t want seeing that side of him. Particularly his employer. How would anyone take him seriously now???
I’m using your photo as a narrow example of the broad topic. The very reason my own husband doesn’t like my blog or being mentioned on my blog. He doesn’t like people- nay, acquaintances- knowing intimate things about him/us. And I totally get that.
And again, I’m not trying to be mean. Just helpful.
I just keep the whole thing a big secret. Granted I’ve been blogging for like, two minutes, and have exactly one reader, but still. No one I “know” knows about the blog. And if the husband found out? He would lose. his. shit.
I don’t think my husband ever reads my blog, which is fine. I don’t mention him all that much although I do sometimes mention when his band has a gig coming up. Just in case someone in the city they are going to reads it.:)
Sorry your hubby is reacting this way. I thought it was a cute, playful photo.
Susans last blog post..Fall Break
My wife hasn’t really shown any interest in my blog. I would be hurt though if she did read it and always criticized it. There is some good writing in there and a lot of good writing in yours as well.
It’s not worthless. Like they used to say, if you can’t say something nice, keep your yap shut. One photo isn’t the issue here, it’s the devaluation of your self-worth that comes from negativity. Go your own way on this and agree to disagree with your husband.
Jims last blog post..Guest Posting
To clarify. HE NEVER READS MY BLOG. I think even if he still didn’t like it but made the effort to at least read the damn thing that would be different. He would at least be making an effort and maybe, just MAYBE he would see that I have some talent that is worthwhile, here. He only ever looks at it when a friend or family member or coworker mentions it and inevitably, he dislikes what he sees.
This is really not so much about the photo. I know it was pushing the envelope, I do. I get how it could embarrass him.
I guess I snapped because I am tired of feeling like I am perpetually disappointing.
I also get it is about “Respect” with my husband. I have a WHOLE lot to say about THAT, but again, it’s a blog on the internet so guess what? I have to just sit here, frustrated that I can’t unleash it all.
(Yes, I did that very frustrating thing that bloggers sometimes do. I partially vented and when reasonable people try to give reasonable advice the blogger sputters, “But, but…you don’t know the FULL STORY AND I CAN’T TELL YOU!!!” I hate it when people do that and here I am doing the same damn thing.)
I think that it has more to do with the fact that I have been running around for the last ten years trying to get the man I married to approve of me than anything else. I also know a lot of that is about ME and my own self-perception and not him. I can’t change anyone but me, right?
P.S. Yes, he loves me. Just so you know.
P.P.S. No, we are not divorcing over this.
P.P.P.S Yes, I am VERY hormonal.
P.P.P.P.S However, NOTHING ANNOYS ME MORE than people turning real, long-term frustration and hurt into ‘it’s just about hormones’. The hormones just mean that I don’t have the ability to shut up about it right now. It’s been going on for 3 very long, NON-PREGNANT YEARS.
P.P.P.P.P.S Got that, honey? ;)
I LOVE that picture!!! Darn it! I am so glad that I was able to see it! I really loved the playfulness of it! How long have you been married? And he still likes your boobies! In fact, Aaron and I have a similar picture and when I saw yours I thought I would put ours up, but then I thought that some of my readers may be offended…not Aaron.
Aaron is the extreme oppisite. I’m sorry Jonathan is reacting like this. I thought It was a cute indication of a fun loving marriage. I guess we all have our thing or things that bug us. It’s only human.
Karlyns last blog post..Here’s TROUBLE
Eesh. I can understand about not wanting the pic to be up (though I thought it was cute), but I think that’s different from criticizing the blog overall. As someone who gets the blogging thing, I can’t understand how people would be so dismissive and derisive of that part. I hope that you two find a good medium that’ll work for you both.
I am thrilled and lucky to have a husband who is solidly on-board with my blog; he has even guest-posted a few times, when I’ve been on vacation. I’ve posted about our sex life (though never in gross detail; my younger sisters read it, too!) and our arguments – though not all of them, just the really stupid ones.
I know of many, though, whose spouses are not on-board, and who have had to create anonymous blogs or stop blogging altogether. It’s sad, to me, because blogging does become a social outlet; it’s not as good as real-live friends, but sometimes it’s the only sanity-replacing substitute we can get to.
Kates last blog post..First Day of School
I think you are very attune to your feelings, and why you feel them. That is so great. You know why you’re mad, and what the real issue is. I hear you. This is what my therapist told me: “you are looking for validation from your husband on what you do. You need to value it yourself. He is entitled to his opinion, and you to yours. You value what you do, and he can value what he feels he should. You can’t be angry for what he thinks.” And that’s where I think you have it all together: you know, you’re straight on regarding what you’re pissed about. So, you’ll work it through. Meantime, smile and rest and be at ease and peace for that baby. S/He doesn’t need all that cortisol in the womb.
boy do I ever! Matt is so dang sensitive about pictures or posts about him. and, for that matter, he’s pretty “involved” in the pictures I put up of the kids. no nakedness is his biggie. come on! I blackbar all the penises, what’s wrong with a cute naked baby butt?
but really, if I feel strongly about something I win because it’s MY blog. if he wants to be the king of what gets posted, he needs to get a different kingdom cuz my blog isn’t the place for him.
Sissys last blog post..You Asked For Pictures
my ex was in tune to the blog world and thought it was great (until he left me for another woman, and i blogged about it – then it was horrible! libel! he’d sue!) but my current bf doesn’t “get” it. he reads my blog, but he still mocks me for having “internet” friends or using the word “blogosphere.” whatever… my blog & my blog friends pre-date HIM :-)
Alices last blog post..pay it forward contest, part II!
well, you know I understand posts setting off family wars.. I’m still in the middle of one.. I just don’t blog about Tom anymore – or at least not our arguments. He’s way too sensitive and it’s not worth the fallout. I’m sorry.
I wish I had seen the pic so I could have been outraged on your behalf.
Hugs.
hollis last blog post..Fair Weather Faith.
I probably wouldn’t have posted that pick myself, but that’s what makes you you. But my husband would have been upset too.
Although I’m not sure I understand his lack of support. Maybe if this blog was taking you away from more important things, I could maybe understand a little. But that’s too bad, those were cute pictures (the family ones).
My hubby likes the blog, and even writes a few posts himself, but we’re a bit more reserved I guess on our posts.
Mellys last blog post..Toddlers love it, babies not so much.
I’m sorry you’ve had some “stress” with your hubby. We can all relate.
As far as “how I deal” – my blog’s so new, but I make sure my husband’s comfortable with anything I write about him or the kids. I actually do that with any person I identify. So far, we haven’t disagreed.
You guys’ll have make-up sex – it’s gonna be great!
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Blog Awards Confession
We’re proud of you, Loralee. Your life has taken you on an incredible journey that hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows. We all have those things in our lives that we need to talk about, and blogging is a great outlet for that need when other outlets leave something to be desired, whatever that something may be at the moment. I hope that you and Jon can find a way to resolve this issue. Because money is not the path to fulfillment in life, and we should all be so lucky as to be able to pursue the parts of our lives that give us the greatest joy. Thank God that you haven’t had to give up acting and singing in pursuit of the almighty paycheck as so many former artists have had to do when there are more mouths to feed than just one’s own. You are blessed, and I’m sure that Jon knows that you would not be the same woman, the one that he loves, without these various passions of yours. Good luck with the fight. And the hormones.
Saras last blog post..Power
Hey – email me. I want to talk with you about this, but need to take it off the blog. HAHAHA – it’s due to MY hubby that I have to do so!
carmens last blog post..Depression
I love you. That is all.
My mom knows about my blog and I really wish she didn’t because I CAN’T write about her. She is hurtful, hurtful, hurtful and I can’t talk about it because if she read it? She’s be even MORE hurtful.
BOO.
Rhis last blog post..You know what annoys me? Festival Edition!
Yes, I totally *hear* you! My husband is not a fan of my blog either. He claims it’s because he can’t understand why I would dedicate so much time to it (well, i don’t any more and he may have indirectly have had something to do with that). But he also disapproves of me spending (he says wasting) time reading other people’s blogs too. The ironic thing is that he has a blog of his own too and somehow none of this applies to him. He can spend as much time as he thinks fit reading blogs and writing his blog because… wait for it… there’s a “justification”… the content is so much more IMPORTANT. His blog deals with social and political issues. Mine only deals with, well, me. We had a huge (and I mean HUGE) row over this last year and he confessed that he was hurt in a way that I hadn’t turned to him to work through some of the issues I was working through on my blog. He had a point. I stopped blogging for a while (of my own choice and for several other reasons too) and let it blow over (all the while, he kept blogging). Now, I blog much less and don’t really talk to him about it or invite him to read. Basically, I think it’s a core issue. I never started a blog to try to change the world or create awareness about anything… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a purpose. (Sorry for the humungously long comment here… but it was nice to get that off my chest!). Love and patience, Vx
Vanessas last blog post..self portrait challenge – mirrors #1
My family had BIG problems with my blog–which was why I stopped blogging, and have never continued. My initial reaction was to take everything down, which I did, after printing off about 2,000 pages of a hard copy so I’d never forget those times. I regret it to some degree now, but at the same time I’m glad.
Some women feel liberated by having blogs and sharing wonderful things (congrats on being preggers!) others, like me, end up feeling trapped by audience, and it becomes a chore, albeit a fun chore most of the time. Take the internal struggle and add that to a husband, boyfriend, or family member who takes offense–and you’re fucked. Who would ever want to blog again?
You. And I’m glad you do. I have disconnected myself from the blogging world–my morning ritual includes 3 blogs and now a dozen webcomics. Moral: I’m still reading you every day. It’s been amazing to see your growth not only as a writer but as a woman. Keep doing it. Sorry it’s hard, and people get offended, but it’s therapy, in a way, and a community, so keep at it!
PS I thought the pics were great :)
Just for fun since I mentioned how this blog has grown and for people who don’t know?
JES, the author of the above comment was the VERY FIRST person that didn’t know me in person to find and read my blog.
Ironically, it was right as I was considering chucking Looney Tunes (over at blogspot back then) in the toilet and walking away from the internet.
I totally give her and all the Bemidji State people a chunk of credit for what this place is. ;) Writing for a bigger audience is one of the turning points in blogging and they totally helped me do that. I love them all.
Thanks for the comment, Jes. It has been one hell of a ride, no?
Oy. This is why I shared my new blog address with only certain people. I know that it’s out there for the whole wide world to see, but the people I DON’T want reading it, don’t know about its existence. Since I don’t have my name associated with it, they probably never will.
That’s a touchy subject… All I know is that blogging is one of your hobbies and one of your passions. And dang it, you’re good at it too. Your husband doesn’t have to visit your blog, but he should give you space so you can express yourself creatively. Or, just change your blog address and don’t tell him about it. I’d hate to censor myself because of a few touchy people.
Hugs to you, chica.
Sues last blog post..Uh…Er…Yeah.
I can understand why your husband would be upset. It is his picture, his family and his children. I think that you owe you husband the benefit of the doubt in this case, given that you shared a personal picture online. Although I did not find said picture offensive, I can certainly understand how he would feel violated, and I think his view should be respected. You were right to remove the picture.
Personally, I take issue with all bloggers who publish pictures of their kids. I consider this an invasion of privacy, and it is a parent’s duty to protect their children’s privacy. They may not be old enough to object to their picture being published now, but I want to make sure, if they do object later, I will not have already violated their wishes.
@Laurie
They are also my family. My children. My boobs. However,since he is in the photographs and because I can see why he wanted me to take it down, I did so.
I take more issue at his lack of respect and pride of me in general than anything else. The photograph was a mere representation of the issue.
As for children and blogging. Do you feel that all minors should be barred from being models, actors, on television, etc? While this blog has a decent following, it is nowhere near what the images on TV or in a Gap Kids catalog reach. Should no one be allowed to write about their children for publication? The world would see a massive decrease in magazine articles, books, advice columns, etc, if that is the case. I guess you and I have different definitions of privacy and what violates it. That is fine. I do not consider myself as violating my children nor their rights and privacy. I rarely write about them, I rarely publish photographs despite them BEGGING me to do so. However, I do not live in a bubble, either. This is a personal web log about my life and they are in it and will get documented from time to time.
I love your blog. Your husband needs an attitude adjustment. Actually, he ought to try it out for himself. See what it’s all about. Tell him to put on his big boy pants and get his butt out here, see just how tough it is being real out here.
lceel ‘Uncle Lou’s last blog post..Tuesday Tale – Annie
Also I think the whole argument that some people who object to posting personal information online don’t “get it” is very weak. Just because you don’t want your image or personal details about your life shared with the world doesn’t mean you don’t “get it.”
I’m sorry. That sucks that he doesn’t support your blog. My husband has his own, so he has nothing to say about mine. There must be something that your husband does that is a time suck that you can compare your blog to…some kind of hobby or something???
As far as the photos, I loved that one – you guys seemed happy and fun.
And as far as the aforementioned privacy issues (the problems that people have with posting about kids)? Well, my kids are MY kids, so I’ll blog and post and sing songs about them if I want. When they turn into adults and ask if I will stop (or even if they just get older and ask me to stop), THEN I’ll worry about their privacy.
Could you imagine how BORING and crappy the internet would be without personal information? Blech. :)
Hang in there, I know you’re stressin, but we got your back!
my husband is supportive of my blog, but he doesn’t read it. I know that he would wish I would spend my time doing something else, he is just happy that I have found something I enjoy, that doesn’t cost a ton of money and that keeps me home when he is.
I don’t know how I would feel if he didn’t read, but still was disapproving of it. Or if people told him stuff that I wrote on the blog.
I wish I had advice for you. But I just have a lot of hugs.
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Car Seats, Shoes and blankets…..Oh my!
My Hubs not thrilled with my blog either. Seems to be the tune with a lot of your readers! I made a deal and went private with my blog. Kinda sucks sometimes. But now I am a little more open about my child. Good points and bad!
@Laurie
And just because a mother wants to blog about her children online does not mean that she is violating the rights and privacy of that child. It is a rather weak argument as well.
And what you are saying about expectation of privacy seems a little ridiculous to me. If no one was ever allowed to write about friends, spouses or children there would be very little documentation, histories, stories, books, films, etc. like Loralee said in her comment to you.
You seem fine with the statements made by Loralee’s husband or those of other bloggers that I find extremely disrespectful. So, it is okay as long as those things are said offline and not published? How weak is that argument?!
I’m tired of people who are jealous and unsupportive or who have bad behavior wrapping their arguments up in “It’s online” and “privacy”. I personally think LL does a great job of sharing with us and protecting the people in her life. We hardly ever get to read about them but like she said, the woman doesn’t live in a damn bottle.
I probably should have kept my mouth shut but it’s Tequila Tuesday and I get riled up easily. Sorry if I offended, LL or anyone.
Karen,
I’m not offended. I welcome any comment as long as they aren’t fugly in nature. You have the right to say what you want, as does Laurie.
I just disagree with her views to a point, but I CAN see what she is saying about the photo and I already wrote what I take issue with.
P.S. My friend Bridgy would LOVE Tequila Tuesday. I’ll have to suggest it to her.
I agree with you Karen to some extent, but there really are privacy issues. Both LL and Erin about… a year and a half ago? were getting bizarre internet searches on their names from Asia. I’ve been somewhat conscious of that myself, as I’m extremely open on my blog. I’ve toned that down quite a lot in the last year and have realized that I really don’t want everything to be an open book. Whatever is already published it done; it was a reflection of where I was at the time and how much I felt like sharing. But going forward, I’m much tighter with what I share.
But back to the pics. I still think they were sweet. You should FB some of them.
Dougs last blog post..Saturday Night Live
My husband has been the topic of some pretty severe posts when I couldn’t hold stuff in anymore. (It was either that or more drastic means, like kicking him out). His family took great offense.
We deal with some stupid BS with his sister, due to her denial about her health issues and indifference to treating said issues. I’ve blogged about them in the past, but I don’t anymore. In fact, I try to keep the comments about them at all to a minimum on the blog-they piss me off.
My current problem is that she checks/reads the blog 4,5, 10 times a day, never comments and now doesn’t talk to me because I am a ‘know it all’, simply because I chose to inform myself about her health issues to HELP her. (She’d rather eat stuff that will KILL her than modify her diet). Based on the exits from my blog, she’s stalking the sites I frequent, to see what I’m saying.
I’ve got another relative who’s son abruptly left home and now lives near me. She’s checking the blog daily to see if there are mentions of him. I popped her an email when I noticed this but she hasn’t responded. See previous paragraph and you’ll know why I don’t say anything about him-he’s living with sister in law.
Thanks, I needed to get that out somewhere that I knew she wouldn’t read it!!!!
Back to the pictures. I showed my husband the pictures when he was sitting here during my blog surfing the other night. He found them hilarious and said “man, you’d never let me take a picture like that!” all envious.
I was a little surprised that you’ve got sore boobs and he even got his hands on them, though!
Things will settle down and you’ll find a comfortable realm that you can work with as far as blog fodder. For now, it’ll be awkward. Just keep posting stuff that you’re not as emotionally invested in until the weird feeling passes…
Suzannes last blog post..I Found This Funny
Yes and yes. We should have coffee. Too much to say about this to write it here.
xo
Kimberlys last blog post..Go Buy, Read, Help Today!
The only time my husband is annoyed with my blog is when I spend too much time on the computer. He rarely reads it which is fine with me because I would then have a bigger complex about my crappy use of grammar and punctuation.
I try to not say much about his family but otherwise, it’s all fair game to me.
Both my sisters stopped talking to me for something I wrote on my blog when I first started. It wasn’t anything mean and I didn’t use their names. I was describing my family such as… my twin is the matriarch because everyone goes to her with their problems and my younger sister is the princess (because that’s what she calls herself. It took them 6 months to even tell me what was wrong. Way lame!
Jenns last blog post..Scary day
I’m sorry that you had a fight over this too. My husband has no interest in my blog, doesn’t want to read it, doesn’t know the name of it, just flat doesn’t care. And that hurts too. For whatever reason he doesn’ t care, it makes me think that he thinks I’ll embarrass him or that I can’t write and sound stoopid. Maybe he just doesn’t have time, but I show interest in his hobbies and I’d like the same. Especially since I really love this whole blogging thing and would like to keep doing it.
I respect the need for privacy and I don’t write much about my husband at all. But you can’t live in a bubble. And to me it’s not about that anyway. My husband is supposed to be my best friend, he should be happy that I’m happy and excited to see what I’m doing. He’s not. Of course I’m not making money blogging either, but I’m afraid that even if I was, he’d prefer to ignore it.
I feel for you.
Sheris last blog post..Unexpected comment
yeah..I don’t rant about family stuff or husband stuff….I had to delete my first blog because he freaked.
It is only because he sees my get some RESPECT writing wise and MONEY that he is ok…but still uses it is a weapon when feeling snotty.
So sadly I censor myself.
Oh, yes. I had to promise to stop putting our most intimate details for the world to see.
They’re still there, though.
the Yearning Hearts last blog post..Prendre le congé
It must be something ass-backwards in the male chromosome or something. My husband is the same way. He reads mine but rolls his eyes constantly and makes fun of it. Jerks..
Robin @ Party of Fives last blog post..Splat Goes The Frog
Everybody knows I have a blog except my sister. I write about her struggles with mental illness sometimes and she would freak…
Lisas last blog post..Allison Quets and Her Battle For Her Children
*sigh* Oh honey, if you only knew.
My husband knows and often reads my blog. But, I’ve learned that given his short attention span? I can write paragraphs of crap and he only reads the first one. He doesn’t have the patience (interest?) in reading more. So, I can sometimes get away with writing a bit more honestly further on down the post.
He thinks it’s a complete waste of time. He thinks it’s stupid and he gets BENT out of shape if I even SUGGEST that he’s less than perfect. Truly, don’t get me started.
I work from home though, and my blog is virtually my only outlet with the outside world. He sees how happy it has made me and he’s a bit more tolerant of it now (as long as I’m not blogging while he’s home because you know, he gets jealous of the time I spend on it).
My mother has stopped reading, per MY request, because she too goes completely berserk about my childhood memories. She thinks I’m trying to imply that she was a a bad mother, that I had a bad childhood, blahblahblah … when she couldn’t be further from the truth. (Guilty, much?)
It’s nuts. I wish I could be myself on my blog, but it will never happen. It’s a catch-22 situation that I wish I had caught early in the game.
Write From Karens last blog post..The Fine Art of Surviving
I can’t write about my family outside of my husband or son, because they all go insane over it. I have friends who are so paranoid (self-centered?) that if I complain about anyone’s behavior, even if it’s some random guy at the ATM, they automatically assume I’m complaining about them. (Although, I admit I have used that to my advantage when I DID want to complain about a friend’s obnoxious behavior.) There are dozens of things I’d like to write about, but too many family members and people IRL have my blog addy, so I feel stifled. I’ve considered ditching and starting over, but — and this is important for your husband to get — this blog represents a body of writing work that I do NOT want to take private. There’s a reason I write publicly, even if I can’t always explain it, and this is MY project. So I understand where you’re coming from, and it sounds like not writing about your hubby is the only answer. I’m sorry I missed that photo!
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..76 Days Until Christmas
My husband is the same way and feels that I shouldn’t express myself so much on the net and it is no one’s business!!! I write on, sista! It is a creative outlet for me and he can just get over it!
Well, it’s still in your RSS feed, so there, mean old husband. haha!
I can totally relate. My husband doesn’t get the whole blogging thing AT ALL, and I can’t even count how many arguments we’ve had about it.