You may have noticed that the post that I posted on Sunday with our family photos has been taken down.
It because my husband is very unhappy about a photo I used. For those that saw it it was the one I published of him playfully groping me. I thought it was hilarious and funny, he thought it wasn’t. He wanted me to remove the one photo but I took the whole damn thing down. I suppose if he ever said anything about my blog that wasn’t a criticism I would have taken the whole thing better.
He thinks my blog is colossally pointless and has blatantly stated that he cannot bring himself to be proud of me in any way regarding it.
I try to be as respectful as I can in regards to what I share and what I don’t. I know it seems like I am one of the more open and blunt bloggers out there but compared with the massive amount of stuff that is my life???? I blog about MAYBE 10% of it. I rarely write about Jonathan because I know he hates it. Hell, I mainly just try to write only about me because it seems like no matter what I do (or don’t do) it pisses somebody off.
I’m angry.
I’m hurt.
And guess what?
I CAN’T EFFING TALK ABOUT IT ON THE DAMN INTERNET.
I really could give a frig about the photograph. It is a much deeper issue than that.
So, there you are.
The great photography fight of Aught Eight.
Yay.
Do any of you have spouses, partners, family that have issues with your blog? How do you deal?
Filed under: 
I probably wouldn’t have posted that pick myself, but that’s what makes you you. But my husband would have been upset too.
Although I’m not sure I understand his lack of support. Maybe if this blog was taking you away from more important things, I could maybe understand a little. But that’s too bad, those were cute pictures (the family ones).
My hubby likes the blog, and even writes a few posts himself, but we’re a bit more reserved I guess on our posts.
Mellys last blog post..Toddlers love it, babies not so much.
I’m sorry you’ve had some “stress” with your hubby. We can all relate.
As far as “how I deal” – my blog’s so new, but I make sure my husband’s comfortable with anything I write about him or the kids. I actually do that with any person I identify. So far, we haven’t disagreed.
You guys’ll have make-up sex – it’s gonna be great!
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Blog Awards Confession
We’re proud of you, Loralee. Your life has taken you on an incredible journey that hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows. We all have those things in our lives that we need to talk about, and blogging is a great outlet for that need when other outlets leave something to be desired, whatever that something may be at the moment. I hope that you and Jon can find a way to resolve this issue. Because money is not the path to fulfillment in life, and we should all be so lucky as to be able to pursue the parts of our lives that give us the greatest joy. Thank God that you haven’t had to give up acting and singing in pursuit of the almighty paycheck as so many former artists have had to do when there are more mouths to feed than just one’s own. You are blessed, and I’m sure that Jon knows that you would not be the same woman, the one that he loves, without these various passions of yours. Good luck with the fight. And the hormones.
Saras last blog post..Power
Hey – email me. I want to talk with you about this, but need to take it off the blog. HAHAHA – it’s due to MY hubby that I have to do so!
carmens last blog post..Depression
I love you. That is all.
My mom knows about my blog and I really wish she didn’t because I CAN’T write about her. She is hurtful, hurtful, hurtful and I can’t talk about it because if she read it? She’s be even MORE hurtful.
BOO.
Rhis last blog post..You know what annoys me? Festival Edition!
Yes, I totally *hear* you! My husband is not a fan of my blog either. He claims it’s because he can’t understand why I would dedicate so much time to it (well, i don’t any more and he may have indirectly have had something to do with that). But he also disapproves of me spending (he says wasting) time reading other people’s blogs too. The ironic thing is that he has a blog of his own too and somehow none of this applies to him. He can spend as much time as he thinks fit reading blogs and writing his blog because… wait for it… there’s a “justification”… the content is so much more IMPORTANT. His blog deals with social and political issues. Mine only deals with, well, me. We had a huge (and I mean HUGE) row over this last year and he confessed that he was hurt in a way that I hadn’t turned to him to work through some of the issues I was working through on my blog. He had a point. I stopped blogging for a while (of my own choice and for several other reasons too) and let it blow over (all the while, he kept blogging). Now, I blog much less and don’t really talk to him about it or invite him to read. Basically, I think it’s a core issue. I never started a blog to try to change the world or create awareness about anything… but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have a purpose. (Sorry for the humungously long comment here… but it was nice to get that off my chest!). Love and patience, Vx
Vanessas last blog post..self portrait challenge – mirrors #1
My family had BIG problems with my blog–which was why I stopped blogging, and have never continued. My initial reaction was to take everything down, which I did, after printing off about 2,000 pages of a hard copy so I’d never forget those times. I regret it to some degree now, but at the same time I’m glad.
Some women feel liberated by having blogs and sharing wonderful things (congrats on being preggers!) others, like me, end up feeling trapped by audience, and it becomes a chore, albeit a fun chore most of the time. Take the internal struggle and add that to a husband, boyfriend, or family member who takes offense–and you’re fucked. Who would ever want to blog again?
You. And I’m glad you do. I have disconnected myself from the blogging world–my morning ritual includes 3 blogs and now a dozen webcomics. Moral: I’m still reading you every day. It’s been amazing to see your growth not only as a writer but as a woman. Keep doing it. Sorry it’s hard, and people get offended, but it’s therapy, in a way, and a community, so keep at it!
PS I thought the pics were great :)
Just for fun since I mentioned how this blog has grown and for people who don’t know?
JES, the author of the above comment was the VERY FIRST person that didn’t know me in person to find and read my blog.
Ironically, it was right as I was considering chucking Looney Tunes (over at blogspot back then) in the toilet and walking away from the internet.
I totally give her and all the Bemidji State people a chunk of credit for what this place is. ;) Writing for a bigger audience is one of the turning points in blogging and they totally helped me do that. I love them all.
Thanks for the comment, Jes. It has been one hell of a ride, no?
Oy. This is why I shared my new blog address with only certain people. I know that it’s out there for the whole wide world to see, but the people I DON’T want reading it, don’t know about its existence. Since I don’t have my name associated with it, they probably never will.
That’s a touchy subject… All I know is that blogging is one of your hobbies and one of your passions. And dang it, you’re good at it too. Your husband doesn’t have to visit your blog, but he should give you space so you can express yourself creatively. Or, just change your blog address and don’t tell him about it. I’d hate to censor myself because of a few touchy people.
Hugs to you, chica.
Sues last blog post..Uh…Er…Yeah.
I can understand why your husband would be upset. It is his picture, his family and his children. I think that you owe you husband the benefit of the doubt in this case, given that you shared a personal picture online. Although I did not find said picture offensive, I can certainly understand how he would feel violated, and I think his view should be respected. You were right to remove the picture.
Personally, I take issue with all bloggers who publish pictures of their kids. I consider this an invasion of privacy, and it is a parent’s duty to protect their children’s privacy. They may not be old enough to object to their picture being published now, but I want to make sure, if they do object later, I will not have already violated their wishes.
@Laurie
They are also my family. My children. My boobs. However,since he is in the photographs and because I can see why he wanted me to take it down, I did so.
I take more issue at his lack of respect and pride of me in general than anything else. The photograph was a mere representation of the issue.
As for children and blogging. Do you feel that all minors should be barred from being models, actors, on television, etc? While this blog has a decent following, it is nowhere near what the images on TV or in a Gap Kids catalog reach. Should no one be allowed to write about their children for publication? The world would see a massive decrease in magazine articles, books, advice columns, etc, if that is the case. I guess you and I have different definitions of privacy and what violates it. That is fine. I do not consider myself as violating my children nor their rights and privacy. I rarely write about them, I rarely publish photographs despite them BEGGING me to do so. However, I do not live in a bubble, either. This is a personal web log about my life and they are in it and will get documented from time to time.
I love your blog. Your husband needs an attitude adjustment. Actually, he ought to try it out for himself. See what it’s all about. Tell him to put on his big boy pants and get his butt out here, see just how tough it is being real out here.
lceel ‘Uncle Lou’s last blog post..Tuesday Tale – Annie
Also I think the whole argument that some people who object to posting personal information online don’t “get it” is very weak. Just because you don’t want your image or personal details about your life shared with the world doesn’t mean you don’t “get it.”
I’m sorry. That sucks that he doesn’t support your blog. My husband has his own, so he has nothing to say about mine. There must be something that your husband does that is a time suck that you can compare your blog to…some kind of hobby or something???
As far as the photos, I loved that one – you guys seemed happy and fun.
And as far as the aforementioned privacy issues (the problems that people have with posting about kids)? Well, my kids are MY kids, so I’ll blog and post and sing songs about them if I want. When they turn into adults and ask if I will stop (or even if they just get older and ask me to stop), THEN I’ll worry about their privacy.
Could you imagine how BORING and crappy the internet would be without personal information? Blech. :)
Hang in there, I know you’re stressin, but we got your back!
my husband is supportive of my blog, but he doesn’t read it. I know that he would wish I would spend my time doing something else, he is just happy that I have found something I enjoy, that doesn’t cost a ton of money and that keeps me home when he is.
I don’t know how I would feel if he didn’t read, but still was disapproving of it. Or if people told him stuff that I wrote on the blog.
I wish I had advice for you. But I just have a lot of hugs.
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Car Seats, Shoes and blankets…..Oh my!
My Hubs not thrilled with my blog either. Seems to be the tune with a lot of your readers! I made a deal and went private with my blog. Kinda sucks sometimes. But now I am a little more open about my child. Good points and bad!
@Laurie
And just because a mother wants to blog about her children online does not mean that she is violating the rights and privacy of that child. It is a rather weak argument as well.
And what you are saying about expectation of privacy seems a little ridiculous to me. If no one was ever allowed to write about friends, spouses or children there would be very little documentation, histories, stories, books, films, etc. like Loralee said in her comment to you.
You seem fine with the statements made by Loralee’s husband or those of other bloggers that I find extremely disrespectful. So, it is okay as long as those things are said offline and not published? How weak is that argument?!
I’m tired of people who are jealous and unsupportive or who have bad behavior wrapping their arguments up in “It’s online” and “privacy”. I personally think LL does a great job of sharing with us and protecting the people in her life. We hardly ever get to read about them but like she said, the woman doesn’t live in a damn bottle.
I probably should have kept my mouth shut but it’s Tequila Tuesday and I get riled up easily. Sorry if I offended, LL or anyone.
Karen,
I’m not offended. I welcome any comment as long as they aren’t fugly in nature. You have the right to say what you want, as does Laurie.
I just disagree with her views to a point, but I CAN see what she is saying about the photo and I already wrote what I take issue with.
P.S. My friend Bridgy would LOVE Tequila Tuesday. I’ll have to suggest it to her.
I agree with you Karen to some extent, but there really are privacy issues. Both LL and Erin about… a year and a half ago? were getting bizarre internet searches on their names from Asia. I’ve been somewhat conscious of that myself, as I’m extremely open on my blog. I’ve toned that down quite a lot in the last year and have realized that I really don’t want everything to be an open book. Whatever is already published it done; it was a reflection of where I was at the time and how much I felt like sharing. But going forward, I’m much tighter with what I share.
But back to the pics. I still think they were sweet. You should FB some of them.
Dougs last blog post..Saturday Night Live
My husband has been the topic of some pretty severe posts when I couldn’t hold stuff in anymore. (It was either that or more drastic means, like kicking him out). His family took great offense.
We deal with some stupid BS with his sister, due to her denial about her health issues and indifference to treating said issues. I’ve blogged about them in the past, but I don’t anymore. In fact, I try to keep the comments about them at all to a minimum on the blog-they piss me off.
My current problem is that she checks/reads the blog 4,5, 10 times a day, never comments and now doesn’t talk to me because I am a ‘know it all’, simply because I chose to inform myself about her health issues to HELP her. (She’d rather eat stuff that will KILL her than modify her diet). Based on the exits from my blog, she’s stalking the sites I frequent, to see what I’m saying.
I’ve got another relative who’s son abruptly left home and now lives near me. She’s checking the blog daily to see if there are mentions of him. I popped her an email when I noticed this but she hasn’t responded. See previous paragraph and you’ll know why I don’t say anything about him-he’s living with sister in law.
Thanks, I needed to get that out somewhere that I knew she wouldn’t read it!!!!
Back to the pictures. I showed my husband the pictures when he was sitting here during my blog surfing the other night. He found them hilarious and said “man, you’d never let me take a picture like that!” all envious.
I was a little surprised that you’ve got sore boobs and he even got his hands on them, though!
Things will settle down and you’ll find a comfortable realm that you can work with as far as blog fodder. For now, it’ll be awkward. Just keep posting stuff that you’re not as emotionally invested in until the weird feeling passes…
Suzannes last blog post..I Found This Funny
Yes and yes. We should have coffee. Too much to say about this to write it here.
xo
Kimberlys last blog post..Go Buy, Read, Help Today!
The only time my husband is annoyed with my blog is when I spend too much time on the computer. He rarely reads it which is fine with me because I would then have a bigger complex about my crappy use of grammar and punctuation.
I try to not say much about his family but otherwise, it’s all fair game to me.
Both my sisters stopped talking to me for something I wrote on my blog when I first started. It wasn’t anything mean and I didn’t use their names. I was describing my family such as… my twin is the matriarch because everyone goes to her with their problems and my younger sister is the princess (because that’s what she calls herself. It took them 6 months to even tell me what was wrong. Way lame!
Jenns last blog post..Scary day
I’m sorry that you had a fight over this too. My husband has no interest in my blog, doesn’t want to read it, doesn’t know the name of it, just flat doesn’t care. And that hurts too. For whatever reason he doesn’ t care, it makes me think that he thinks I’ll embarrass him or that I can’t write and sound stoopid. Maybe he just doesn’t have time, but I show interest in his hobbies and I’d like the same. Especially since I really love this whole blogging thing and would like to keep doing it.
I respect the need for privacy and I don’t write much about my husband at all. But you can’t live in a bubble. And to me it’s not about that anyway. My husband is supposed to be my best friend, he should be happy that I’m happy and excited to see what I’m doing. He’s not. Of course I’m not making money blogging either, but I’m afraid that even if I was, he’d prefer to ignore it.
I feel for you.
Sheris last blog post..Unexpected comment
yeah..I don’t rant about family stuff or husband stuff….I had to delete my first blog because he freaked.
It is only because he sees my get some RESPECT writing wise and MONEY that he is ok…but still uses it is a weapon when feeling snotty.
So sadly I censor myself.
Oh, yes. I had to promise to stop putting our most intimate details for the world to see.
They’re still there, though.
the Yearning Hearts last blog post..Prendre le congé
It must be something ass-backwards in the male chromosome or something. My husband is the same way. He reads mine but rolls his eyes constantly and makes fun of it. Jerks..
Robin @ Party of Fives last blog post..Splat Goes The Frog
Everybody knows I have a blog except my sister. I write about her struggles with mental illness sometimes and she would freak…
Lisas last blog post..Allison Quets and Her Battle For Her Children
*sigh* Oh honey, if you only knew.
My husband knows and often reads my blog. But, I’ve learned that given his short attention span? I can write paragraphs of crap and he only reads the first one. He doesn’t have the patience (interest?) in reading more. So, I can sometimes get away with writing a bit more honestly further on down the post.
He thinks it’s a complete waste of time. He thinks it’s stupid and he gets BENT out of shape if I even SUGGEST that he’s less than perfect. Truly, don’t get me started.
I work from home though, and my blog is virtually my only outlet with the outside world. He sees how happy it has made me and he’s a bit more tolerant of it now (as long as I’m not blogging while he’s home because you know, he gets jealous of the time I spend on it).
My mother has stopped reading, per MY request, because she too goes completely berserk about my childhood memories. She thinks I’m trying to imply that she was a a bad mother, that I had a bad childhood, blahblahblah … when she couldn’t be further from the truth. (Guilty, much?)
It’s nuts. I wish I could be myself on my blog, but it will never happen. It’s a catch-22 situation that I wish I had caught early in the game.
Write From Karens last blog post..The Fine Art of Surviving
I can’t write about my family outside of my husband or son, because they all go insane over it. I have friends who are so paranoid (self-centered?) that if I complain about anyone’s behavior, even if it’s some random guy at the ATM, they automatically assume I’m complaining about them. (Although, I admit I have used that to my advantage when I DID want to complain about a friend’s obnoxious behavior.) There are dozens of things I’d like to write about, but too many family members and people IRL have my blog addy, so I feel stifled. I’ve considered ditching and starting over, but — and this is important for your husband to get — this blog represents a body of writing work that I do NOT want to take private. There’s a reason I write publicly, even if I can’t always explain it, and this is MY project. So I understand where you’re coming from, and it sounds like not writing about your hubby is the only answer. I’m sorry I missed that photo!
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..76 Days Until Christmas
My husband is the same way and feels that I shouldn’t express myself so much on the net and it is no one’s business!!! I write on, sista! It is a creative outlet for me and he can just get over it!
Well, it’s still in your RSS feed, so there, mean old husband. haha!
I can totally relate. My husband doesn’t get the whole blogging thing AT ALL, and I can’t even count how many arguments we’ve had about it.