“Jonathan? Do you want to come and watch a movie with me?”
“Depends. What movie?”
“Well, I rented Across the Universe and Charlie Wilson’s War. The former is a story of young, passionate love set in the violence of anti-war America in the 60′s and is set to Beatles songs and the latter is about the whole USR/USA/CIA/Afghanistan Cold War thingy.”
“Uh…Pass.”
“Why?”
“Because Across the Universe is a chick flick. Worse, it’s a chick flick that is about hippies. And you know how I feel about hippies.”
“I still have no idea how you have this hatred of hippies yet LOVED living in Eugene, Oregon. I will also remind you that when you came BACK from living in the land of the hippies you had bleached hair down to your shoulder blades with a long, red beard. (Your mother and I do talk from time to time.) We’ll leave that for another day, though. What I want to know is WHAT possible objection could you have about the story of Russia, Afghanistan and the wheels being set in motion to end the cold war. That seems totally up your ally.”
“Because. It is Hollywood. And Hollywood will put a completely liberal spin on it somehow;they usually do. Besides, I rarely look at them for an accurate historical reproduction of anything.”
“So…what if I’m naked when I watch it with you? We’ll instate “Naked movie night”. You have to watch ANY MOVIE I WANT as long as I’m naked.”
“Deal. Although, I really think you owe me a freebie for that time you watched Episode 6 of Pride and Prejudice a hundred times in a row.”
“Uh, that would be a big, NO. However, I will pull a Lady Godiva as soon as I get back.”
“Where are you going?”
“To McDonald’s. I want a freaking huge ice cream cone before we start.”
“Alright, but hurry. I have an early morning tomorrow.”
“I’m out of cash. Can I have two bucks?”
“What will I get out of it? You know…AFTER naked movie night?”
“ARE YOU IMPLYING THAT I AM CHEAP ENOUGH TO PUT OUT FOR A MEASLY TWO DOLLARS?!”
“Of course not. You’re forgetting that buck I gave you earlier to get a Diet Coke.”
I hate hippies too.
But Charlie Wilson’s War wasn’t too over the top with the liberal perspective. It’s palatable, as a story about a senator helping motivate a war. But he may want to skip the last little bit when they extrapolate to the present a bit.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Curious
Oh, and of course insert “something witty about nudity and being cheap” etc…. here.
Too much wine to be funny though :}
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Curious
this is bwah ha ha ha funny – but even moreso b/c i know jon. :)
jesss last blog post..Breaking News… Fire in Logan!
@Backpacking Dad: The first comment was informative and the second WAS FUNNY. heh.
@ Jess: Yes…Jonathan is quite unhappy I published this one. Not happy. Not happy at all. :S
(STILL hilarious, though. I totally stand by that opinion.)
Oh, Eugene, my college town. *TEAR*
Also, hilarious. And, now I want an ice cream cone.
Rhis last blog post..I have no idea what this post is about
been lurking but not commenting….
Very funny. Can totally see Jon and you having this exchange, but wonder if you require the kiddos to knock on the door for naked movie night?
Also, did you know that PBS has “Anne of Avonlea, The Continuing Story”? I was shocked when I saw it! So coooool. I so want to be Cordelia.
Occasionally, Mr. A will make a comment implying that I am a prostitute. But usually, I get a purse or shoes out of the deal. Don’t give it up for Ice Cream and a Diet Coke!
That’s it! I am now officially horny. It seems everybody I’ve visited this morning is on about sex, one way or the other. And now I’ve got you creating images in my head that have absolutely nothing to do with the work I’m supposed to be able to do today. Good job.
No, wait a minute. That was not a sexual reference. Really.
lceels last blog post..On the Tarmac — The Kid, Part 5
Pahahahahahahahaha!!!!
(I love how quickly he went from ‘no way’ to ‘deal’. Too funny.)
maggie, dammits last blog post..You probably won’t see this here again
I’m with him on the hippies. If there were hippies involved, I’d have to have something after naked movie night to sweeten the deal.
Damn, now I’m going to have the scene from “Better Off Dead” stuck in my head all day. “I want my two dollars!”
Jims last blog post..Summer Flocks
Ha! That was funny! I am usually the one with all of the cash.
I suppose I am going to have to offer up some ‘favors’ in exchange for running away from home tonight. He is not thrilled that I am running off to Bear Lake with Loralee. I think he still thinks you are my imaginary friend! LOL!
Connies last blog post..Nanny Cam
hee hee, so funny. All I could think about was the Seinfeld episode where Jerry’s girlfriend is always naked and at first it’s cool, but then he sees her straining to open a jar of pickles and suddenly…..notsomuch.
HeatherPrides last blog post..This is Why I Hope I Never End Up in a Nursing Home – Or, The Day My Baby Pooped On a Complete Stranger
You husband must be related to my husband – no liberal hollywood, no hippies, cheap, and if I’m naked he’s for it.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..Lost Treasures
I’m guessing you didn’t actually watch much of the movie… and I hope you closed your bedroom door this time, for Pete’s sake!!
Dollar Diet Cokes at McDonald’s… mmmmmmmmmmmm
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..Finding joy in the likeliest of places
i get gabe to watch movies he doesn’t want to by getting naked too. awesome. ;)
alis last blog post..professional
hmmm I wonder if I could use this tactic to make Jay watch Gossip Girl with me.
bananass last blog post..I’m not your punching bag
LOL – So glad I am not the only one that wanted to know if the door was shut ;)
I have to say I shall make sure my hubby does not see this, do not want him getting any ideas!
TheAngelForevers last blog post..Croquet game anyone?
he should get over it. it’s hilarious. and it’s not like anything UBER private was shared. i think some of your other posts have been more private…if that makes sense. :)
Naked movie night? What a fine idea! Does it work the other way round? Oh hell, I could do with a woman who’d let me watch anything as long as I was in the buff. I have to say, there’s something about watching movies in the raw anyway.
Putting out for two dollars? You should AT LEAST hold out for a value meal. I mean, the nerve!
Chris Woods last blog post..Weightlifting With Old Me’s Ego
A two dollar whore is insulting.
A three dollar wife? That’s love, baby.
Miss Britts last blog post..I Fear This May Be The End For Us
Wait…your husband would actually wait until a movie was OVER to molest you if you were sitting there naked beside him? Give that man a medal.
Not that I know what you look like naked. Or am imagining it. Or am perverted. Oh god, just forget this comment.
But wait…you started it! :)
Must Be Motherhoods last blog post..Who IS the Hottest American Olympian?
Smart lady! You know how to get what you want!! That TOTALLY made me LOL @ the two dollars – something my husband would – and has – said to me!!
I find that naked movie time involves too much much hand slapping and not enough movie watching.
Kylas last blog post..I’m an idiot.
Awww… a Diet Coke and ice cream? He’s such a romantic.
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..Debating Artistic Media
…i hope you decided on Across the Universe and that he realized it’s actually pretty awesome – clothes or no clothes!
hooray for Naked Movie Night.
jaxs last blog post..Thematic Photographic #4 — Full-on Color
I think it’s hilarious and exactly the kind of conversation I’d have with my own husband.
She Likes Purples last blog post..Some Things
Naked Ice cream! Yikes to the frost bite:)
Brittanys last blog post..Notes from my box
Naked movie night – Loralee, you crack me up! Did you make it through the whole movie or not? Perhaps, now, I can get the hubby to watch what I want by hosting my own naked movie night.
Julies last blog post..22 Months Old
Oh, WOW….sounds like my house! I sent my hubby out for diapers after a very long day with a baby, and he wondered if he was going to be rewarded afterwards. After giving him the stink eye, I told him options: get the diapers, while pretending he had no greater joy than doing what I ask, or I could swaddle our child who had no diapers left in his favourite shirt. He came back with a huge box of diapers and a chocolate bar. Very clever.
I thought you and dairy were not good friends?
@Julie
I usually can’t eat ice cream. It makes me SICK. I always used to attribute this to my Gastric Bypass, but I really think it is more due to the fact that I had my gallbladder removed. I have a problem with fatty foods and so I think it is the fat in ice cream that makes me sick.
I CAN eat MacDonald’s ice cream cones because it has zero fat and is not real dairy. I DO ask them to make it really small because too much does make me a little queasy. I have just always reffered to them as “Freaking huge ice cream cones. I don’t really order them that way. ;)
Plus, it’s only 100 odd calories. Sweet, no?
Wow…WAY more than you wanted to know about McDonald’s ice cream, huh?
I wouldn’t mind naked movie night as long as we followed the no touchy rule. Maybe next week it can be strip backgammon – but no touchy.
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..10 Random Things
That doesn’t work here. Most movie nights are naked, and I still end up watching some renegade cop shoots up the town movie. Clearly I need a new tactic.
And hey! What wrong with hippies? Hmph!
Summers last blog post..I’m Positive
HILARIOUS. And my husband says, quote, That husband of hers sounds like a smart guy.
I would read this to Matthew, but then we’d have to have Naked Movie Night.
Angellas last blog post..Zucchini Galore
Ha ha ha ha…your husband and mine share a brain.
Karen Sugarpantss last blog post..Why I Won’t Be Having Any More Children
ha! i am from eugene oregon and yeah, it doesn’t get any hippier than there.
Great article as usual. Naked Movie Night sounds like a smashing idea to me. Also a great way to ensure that the teenager is sufficiently scarred for life, thereby supporting the lifestyle of some therapist in perpetuity later on.
As for Eugene, I live there, and most of the hippies stay out of sight until the Country Fair. They come out of the freakin woodwork. I had no idea so many 70′s Volkswagen minibusses and old Volvo’s smelling of sweat and patchouli oil were still in such abundance.
I am a dude and a HUGE BEATLES fan, but must say I enjoyed the movie. Crappy story, but great performances!
Mikes last blog post..Dads don’t parent, they babysit…
I love reading your stuff. It is so entertaining. It’s funny to listen to the things you write about you and your husband because it reminds me of me and TJ! You are one hilarious woman!
You really should write a how to book on relationships. Genius.
Sorry I forgot to offer before – my wife will be up in Portland next month visiting – if you can ditch hubby, want to come over and watch a movie?
(sorry, just couldn’t resist the offer)
JoeInVegass last blog post..E brithday (again)
haha. I loved this post and stumbled it.
Shamelessly Sassys last blog post..Preschool: The Gateway Drug
Passing on a little love note to you:
http://charmingdelightful.blogspot.com/2008/08/you-heart-me-you-really-heart-me.html
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..You heart me, you really heart me!