I live in marriage central.
Weddings are BIG BUSINESS in Utah.
I’ve been married twice (twice is more than enough. Trust me.).
I’ve been married a total of 12.5 years.
9.8 years of them have been with my husband, Jonathan.
I’m 33-years-old.
The average marriage age here is much younger than the national average. I attribute this to the majority of this society considering out-of-wedlock co-mingling of hoo-hoos and peepers to be a metaphorical stoning offense.
Heck, there are still a few doe-eyed young couples here whose first kiss is on their wedding day.
I married way too young. I was a 20-year-old idiot who was far too immature, indecisive and YOUNG to handle something as complicated as a marriage. I am not surprised it failed;there were too many factors that went against it. Besides the mismatch of the two of us, I had very little relationship experience that was positive. I didn’t have enough life experience*.
*I really kind of wish I had been all sorts of trampy in my younger years and gotten it out of my system. I have this feeling that I should have just nailed anything that would have screwed my Shamu-sized self back then and just been a slutty ho of a teenage girl.
(I wasn’t, despite WHAT everyone thought.)
I mainly spent my teenage time with my best friend doing lame photo-shoots in her basement. I did occasionally sneak out with my high school boyfriend and let him feel my boobs but that was about it.
It’s easier to forgive the sowing of wild oats than when you are a wild teenager than when you hit your 30’s and 40’s and freak-out with a mid-life crisis.
I kind of regret not doing it.
Of course, I was such a SERIOUS, MELANCHOLY thing as a youth. I was a THEATER PERSON! I wore BLACK! And CRYSTALS! Which were held by a DRAGON’S CLAW around my neck! I was never without my COMPLETE WORKS OF SHAKESPEARE!
So, the whole “Girl’s Gone Wild Thing” may not have exactly jived with my high school personality. Although, I suppose I could have just glued a wooden sign on my locker that had “Ye Olde Whorehouse” burned into the wood or something.
Where was I?
Oh, yes…weddings.
No offense to anyone who has married here in my home state or the predominant religion (Mormonism), but Utah weddings have some very deep cliches associated with them.
Like having bridesmaids and flower girls when, um, there is no use for them in a Mormon ceremony. Or having the same-old, same-old food like a nut cup, mint with the local temple printed on it, dollar sandwich served with the pre-requisite non-toxic slush punch and mini-eclair on the side. Or having the wedding in the local ward house gym with balloons or streamers put up in an attempt to hide the basketball hoop. And let’s not forget the blown glass temple wedding cake toppers and tiny scrolls by the wedding book that have the “This day I marry my best friend” poem on it.
It’s all too precious for words.
There is also no dancing at Mormon receptions. Not because it is outlawed, it just isn’t done. Which is a good thing because dude…most people in my state cannot dance and end up looking like complete asses when they attempt to do so. (Ehem. They also apparently cannot spell “BLATANT” for the life of them.)
Now watch, I am going to piss off someone who had their reception in a church gym or served mini-eclairs and non-toxic slushy punch at their wedding. Or that loved their wedding poem tied up with curling ribbon, coordinating bridesmaid dresses and the like. I’m not a hater;I had almost all these things between both of my weddings, so there.
And I would do it differently if I could go back.
Now that I think about it…maybe my big problem isn’t so much about the weddings as it is about the marriages.
I love that my first marriage gave me my son but I was in no way prepared for that level of “BIG”.
My second wedding was pretty chill.
While I don’t know if I was any better prepared, I had a good wedding. I knew that I had a better chance of making it work with Jon than I probably deserved. He is a good balance for me and I love him. I had a great wedding dress (Made by one of the best seamstresses on the PLANET. Go buy an apron. You know you want to.). My buffet had good food and people had a good time. I had a bag piper and it was fabulous. It WAS in a ward house gym, but I could have cared less. I wanted to elope, but Jonathan had never been married and wanted a reception. I was glad to give that to him. He’s a sweetheart and man…Have we been through a lot.
To hell and back, really.
Over all? I am not sure if I am good at being married. I try my best (and often not even close to my best) but I often wonder if I am just too damaged.
Too full of baggage.
Too full of bad memories and disappointments.
Just too…TOO.
I have a lot of regrets. I have hurt and crushed people. I have been hurt, crushed.
Sometimes I feel so broken and bitter I don’t know if I will ever be whole again.
Normal.
Fixed.
I know that people that love me would give a lot for that to happen; I just don’t know if it ever will.
Now that I think about it, maybe my big problem isn’t so much about the weddings or the marriages as it is…
ME.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
P.S.
No, nothing ‘Happened’ to spark this post. I’m not on the brink of divorce.
Sometimes my thoughts just need to get out.
i loved this post. i think that there are very few of us that don’t wish we could go back and change something about the way we did things in high school. i was by no means a slutty ho of a teenager, but i certainly wasn’t a good girl. my reasons were because i wanted to make sure the boys still liked me…i had a hard time telling them no. if i could do it again i wouldn’t let them do what they wanted…i would say no if i wanted to say no. my other big thing is that i would allow myself to feel what i was feeling with one person in particular. probably my biggest regret. i love my life, my family, all of it, but i think i will always wonder about that one thing. always. that one thing is my baggage…but for some reason i don’t consider it damage. it has certainly scarred me, but for some reason i can’t call it ugly. it is too personal and deep. too much feeling behind it.
yeah…i should probably post this anonymously, but i’m just putting it out there.
natalies last blog post..Contest #2…yeah…that number 2.
No dancing? There’s always dancing at Mormon weddings down here. But California Mormons are a different breed. And I remember the Stake dances in Ontario when I was in high school; I consistenly danced closer than 3 bibles with my girlfriend. I was the bad boy; the non-Mormon….
It’s always us, Loralee. We are always the reason. Doesn’t mean there aren’t other reasons, but the mature, yes mature, perspective is from the self outward. Even if it feels emo and stupid. The immature perspective is to place blame outward and deny responsibility.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..And Make It Better
@ Natalie
I could have my own personal luggage carousel I have so much damn baggage. I get it.
@ Backpacking Dad
Have I mentioned that I freaking love you? Because, yah…I totally do.
P.S. I’ve actually heard that. But then, California Mormons are WAY cooler than Utah Mormons in regard to many things. (I’m just sayin’…)
I could almost have written what Natalie wrote. Almost. My problem wasn’t that I wanted the boys to like me, more that I wanted affection, and in the process I gave myself – my identity – away, and didn’t know who I was.
I am so glad I had counselling, and was restored, especially where my daughter is concerned. She won’t have to go through what I did. And she very definitely is much more confident and secure in who she is at 14 than I was up to the age of 28!
@Michelle. I related, too. Oh, don’t think I was a goody-goody. I wanted boys to like me DESPERATELY. It got me into a lot of trouble.
Boys feeling your boobies and heavy petting in high school is a BIG Mormon “NO NO”. Trust me. I felt like the Whore of Babylon.
Maybe it is a good thing I don’t have a daughter…I would FREAK if she had my issues. :S
Loralee: I’m not sure we’re meant to be whole. It sounds too neat and packaged to me for it to be something realistic or even worthy of attaining in this life.
And normal? Gack, you know my thoughts on “normal”. In an insane society, the sane will appear insane.
Who would you be without your life story?
Perhaps it isn’t quite so bad to be broken, knowing you have scattered yourself in life and lived many things in many ways?
I have no answers, just questions to ponder.
Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Curly or Straight: The Next Great Marital Debate
I’m just pissed I didn’t have a bag piper at my wedding. We did have a harpist although our original harpist died a few months before the big day. Seriously. Eeeeeek.
I love this post. I’ve been married for 11 years. My parents have been divorced for more than 35 years and my husband’s parents have been married nearly 50 but may as well be divorced. Crazy… I’ve known my husband for 21 years, though, so there is a lot of baggage. Luckily most of it happened when we were in our late teens and early 20s when I, especially, was a clueless idiot. ;)
Jamies last blog post..Ladies Man
How to clone Backpacking Dad hummmm ???
THis post couldn’t have come at a better time for me. My husband and I just got back from his brother’s wedding at the Nauvoo temple. He proposed to his bride while she was on her CHRISTMAS VACATION FROM HIGH SCHOOL, and then she went back to school to show off her engagement ring in homeroom!!!! He took her to prom, and then a couple months later they got married. We found it really hard to hold our tongues on the whole issue. He’s 23 and Canadian, and once when they were crossing customs together to get back to Canada, the border patrol peeps called her father to make sure he knew his child daughter was with a grown up. HILARIOUS, but also very, very sad.
My husband and I aren’t mormon anymore, and we’re planning on encouraging our kids to explore life, travel, get educated, perhaps even boink someone before they get married. Whatever they want to do. NOne of this “I SWEAR I’m GETTING MARRIED AT 18 BECAUSE HE’S THE ONE, IT’S NOT THAT I AM A HORNY, HORNY TEENAGER”. No really, it’s just that those young couples are too damned excited to match up hoo hoos to peepers. And then they have their wedding night (which is usually disappointing for first-timers) and they’re all “I agreed to wear garments FOR THIS??”
debbies last blog post..We’ll always have New York, we just didn’t have it this summer…
I wish I could let you see what it’s like from this side of life. At 62, I’ve been there, I’ve done that, etc. etc. etc.
Nothing matters. When all is said and done, life is too fucking short to get your panties in a twist carrying baggage. Let that baggage go. Enjoy. En fucking joy. Find the joy in the things you have, the things you want, the things you do. Because in the end, that’s all that matters. Love your kids. Love your husband. Love yourself. Not necessarily in that order. But you get the idea. As a matter of fact. Start with you. You do what you have to do to make YOU happy. Everythig else will just fall into place.
lceels last blog post..David’s Past Lives – Part 9
You just write what you need to write, sweets. We’ll be here to back you up.
Angellas last blog post..Beating The Heat
It may seem weird, but I totally feel like I can relate to this. I actually tried to pipe up on another post I read that was similar to this, but I don’t think I made much sense.
Behavior wise? I got all my bad-girl stuff out in high school.
Relationship wise? Not so much. I hooked up early and stayed with that person until our relationship crashed and burned. We moved in together at 16 and it really felt like we were married from that point on. Even when we took a “break” when we were 19 we still slept together and I never had sex with anyone else.
I feel like I was way too young to be that intense with someone and that is why I had all of the problems I had and why I let things happen to me that maybe otherwise I would have been able to stop. Or maybe I would have knew how to leave much, much sooner.
Now I am in my second relationship and it’s going really well except I still feel like I have SO many issues and I just don’t know how Kasey deals with them. I feel like I am just too TOO also. Uggg.
Beautiful post.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..Then There Was The Time I Ran Out Of Gas
I could have written so many parts of this post myself (not as well, mind you, but they feel very familiar). I feel like I’m bad at being married too. I never thought I would get married and now that I am, I’m not sure I’m fully into it. But he is, so that helps, I guess. As is so often the case since I started blogging, it helps to know that I’m not the only one who feels that way. So, thank you for that, and I hope it helps you a little as well.
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..Things that I learned during our Day Out With Thomas
i don’t think there is such a thing as fixed, I really don’t. We are all at varying levels of normal and I don’t think any of them are better than the others. Maybe it isn’t about getting “fixed” but about accepting yourself the way you are- for who you are. learning to work within the parameters of you.
oh and yes, with backpacking dad, we cali mormons are way cool!!
heather hales DESIGNSs last blog post..Prayer
Great post. I didn’t get married until my mid 20’s and I’m with you all the way on people getting married too young. I think the vanity and energy of youth should be worked off beforehand. Learning to live with yourself is a vital life skill.
As for the no dancing at weddings…just how can a marriage survive if there’s no chicken dance to kick it off? That’s just wrong.
Jims last blog post..Packing Them in
Having married at the ripe ole age of 20, I understand this sentiment very well. I often ask my husband if he regrets not sowing his oats before hitching himself to me.
I know there are moments I do. Generally when I’m stuck in the dip of our old mattress and he’s hogging the covers.
Still, life is what it is, chicky. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances life brings, you need to make the most of it.
Because this is LIFE. Find joy friend. Find joy.
And don’t make me have to send you another damn video of bouncing boobs. Cuz I will.
In a heart beat.
smooches, friend.
i got married the week i turned 20.
i wish i had been more trampy too ;)
alis last blog post..2 conversations, 2 problems and one birthday princess
My wedding is something in my life I wish I could get a “do over” on… I would still marry the same person, but I think it would have been better if we just eloped. I looked back on my wedding day with a lot of frustrations; it was over-scheduled with all kinds of typical Utah Mormon wedding things (wedding, photos, luncheon at crappy restaurant, more photos, reception where I stood in line all night while everybody got to eat from the cheesecake bar I insisted upon…).
I made so many choices to please others in my family and didn’t do things my own way. Big mistake that carries on to this day.
Jill – GlossyVeneers last blog post..Marathon Monday #11
Ok. I have way too much to say about weddings, so see my blog:
iluverin.blogspot.com
However, to address the trampiness- I wouldn’t say I was a tramp, though my nickname was Hotlips. I never went “all the way” and I’m soooooo glad I didn’t. I had lots of boyfriends, and kissed lots… and lots! By the time I turned 26 I was ready to settle down, and I did, and I made the right decision.
I’m glad you married Jon, and I’m honored you asked me to make your wedding dress- I would do a much better job now, though.:)
Erin Taylors last blog post..Ready… Set… Wait… I’m not ready yet!
:hugs: and a very timely post I must say ~.^
Hollys last blog post..Happy Anniversary!
I can’t say I wish I done things differently in high school, no not a tramp but I had fun and didn’t settle down with 1 guy.
But marriage is just hard, no matter who you are. We all have baggage, most of mine is all me. I have days where I think I don’t deserve him, and days where I’m certain he doesn’t deserve me. Days where I look back and go, what was I thinking?? Not so many of those, now, but it’s still tough day in and day out.
I completely agree with Redneck Mommy, you have to find the joy. Some days, it’s a struggle, but I hope that for you, it’s mostly joy.
Sheris last blog post..Job hunting blues
I wonder how many people in the world feel like this. I don’t consider myself crushed yet, or disillusioned to the world, but I often wonder how long it will be until that happens. Because I can’t live in a bubble forever.
Even still, I know that marriage is…really hard. To put it lightly.
Camilles last blog post..There’s No Such Thing as Edward and Bella
I got married the first time at 20. Big mistake. HUGE. Except for one thing – my daughter. So if there were do-overs, I would never take one.
I really made a go of it and he did not. And I ended it.
Second time around, the problems have just been different problems. But we’ll make it.
I think if you marry young, baggage or not, odds are stacked against you and you are very lucky if it works.
Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritass last blog post..The Most Grossest
I bet you’re better at being married than you think you are. At least that’s what I tell myself when I think about how bad I am at relationships. :)
It is hard. And you do your best, whatever your best is that day. I bet your best is pretty good.
Mooses last blog post..Moose: Dropping the Ball Since 1978
“too TOO”: I have actually said that to my husband before about me. A lot of what you wrote describes me as well. I feel ya, sistah. I try so hard to drop that baggage and I just don’t seem to know how. It’s so easy to hate yourself. I don’t know how you turn decades of that into love. But I do feel like if I could just figure that out, everything else would fall into place.
Feather Nesters last blog post..The Dam in Pennsylvania
I waited until I was 30 to get married but I still wish I’d sowed more oats when I was single. I, too, had/have lots of baggage and though I’m happily married (pretty much), I fantasize about doing it all over differently. I think that’s pretty normal. Isn’t it?
merlotmoms last blog post..If You Don’t Like Getting Drunk Dialed, Don’t Read This Post
When I was in high school, I thought it was normal to have sex, but I didn’t until I was 18 and in college, and I thought I was late out of the gate. I look back now, only 8 years later, and I realize that if I had had sex any earlier than that, I might not have been able to handle it. I see high school kids these days and think they are far too young to go there. But of course I know they always will just as much as they always have. I just feel glad I didn’t rush it.
This post resonates with me a lot, even though I’m not married and don’t plan to ever marry. I am in a committed live-in relationship of two and a half years, and sometimes during that time I’ve wished I could bail. Other times I’ve felt so fortunate to be in this relationship. I wonder if that’s the way it will always be, back and forth.
Life is full of baggage, no exceptions. I like lceel’s advice.
Dude, we ALL have baggage. All of us.
We’re all damaged or broken in some way. It’s what you do with it, you know?
Miss Britts last blog post..I’m probably in hell right now
*hugs*
Marilyns last blog post..Housekeeping
How can something so deep and wistful make me laugh my head off?
I know everyone is telling you to find the inner joy and it’s about making lemonade out of lemons but I get a strong feeling that you know that already. To me it seems like your damage is not being able to find that joy or make the lemonade, right?
I may be am off track here but if that is the case I am sorry because I know how hard it can be. I know that people who are n’t you have difficulty getting it isn’t always a matter of just seeing the happy amongst the sad, even though they mean very well. My third marriage just ended and I hope that you are able to find a way to see and experience that joy because my life is no way to live.
I apologize for the length of my comment and forgive me for not adding my webaddress and name. I haven’t talked about my third failure of marriage on my blog yet and I am not ready too right now. I hope that is okay.
I should have edited that comment before posting, it is so full of errors. Very embarrassing, but I bet you hear that all the time, huh?
From one damaged and broken to another, you rock.
AND…
HEY! I bought an apron from her LAST WEEK!
carmens last blog post..Query
I hear you. So much. Especially on the last couple paragraphs. I am at the moment very perturbed that moving to a new locale has not magically fixed my personal deficits and bad habits. What’s up with that?! Wasn’t it in the new rental agreement somewhere?
i was a goody goody in highschool (not because i WANTED to be, mind you.. because boys were not interested. alas) but managed to slut it up nicely after college ;-) my mind BOGGLES at a) having to spend my life with the first guy i ever had sex with, or b) trying to imagine my stupid-ass self marrying at 20. or 21. or hell, 25. i took a looong time to grow up, and i’m still working on that bit.
Alices last blog post..pay it forward wonderfulness continues!
Sweetheart, when are you going to figure out that we love you BECAUSE of your issues, not IN SPITE of them (even Jonathan)? Way to belly up to the bar and take responsibility for things you do, but I just dare you to let the things go that you can’t change, that you have no control over. That’s living, like lceel said. Stop carrying everything around and maybe moving forward will be easier. I think you do great with the **exciting** variety of challenges that your life dishes up; maybe you just need to give yourself a little credit.
Oh Loralee my darling.
The first part had me grinning, the second part had me reminiscing and the the third has me wanting to hug you.
Wish I could send you huge hugs.
Thank you for your honesty, it is wonderful to read and know that others aren’t perfect.
rachels last blog post..Mouthwatering Monday: Coffee Malts
llc
just remember that you are the best “dancing diva” ever.
Rubik – You are right. You can’t dance a lick. EEgadd-awful. But you’re still cute as a button…
Different world out there. Well, not really. Its me I guess. Small wedding. Liked it that way. No Bridesmaids, no band…real boring affair when I think about it.
But it will be 31 yrs this February.
I think folks jump into marriage waaaaaay too quickly. Or not at all, which is a problem when kids start being factored into the mix.
Me? I waited until I was 30, got married in the temple and then had a kick-butt reception in the mountains with fireplaces, candles, a harpist and snow.
Kinda beat those cultural hall affairs…:-)
Ambers last blog post..Back-to-school woes and the attitude I want gone, gone, gone, gone, gone
I don’t know where to go with this one, you’ve touched on so many things.
I guess…
Yes, it probably is you. And that “you” is who your husband loves. You know? Everybody’s got baggage and regrets, it’s all part of the package. And as far as I can tell, your package is pretty damn good.
maggie, dammits last blog post..Home, where my love lies waiting silently for me.
Loralee, you’re not damaged, or broken or too full of baggage. You’re probably just like all the rest of us… we just don’t admit it and you’re too honest. And besides, if you weren’t so… “TOO” you wouldn’t be you. And we love you. So there. MU-AH!
Sues last blog post..6 Days
Someone once said, “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ”
So far, we’ve been lucky. But some days it’s definitely harder than others.
bejewells last blog post..I’m Going to Write a Book
I have those, I should have thoughts on occasion. But I deal that this was much better than those outcomes.
And no dancing at my wedding either, it was Christian (I am Catholic) but a Sunday AM wedding with a DJ seemed weird.
Jennifers last blog post..Jennifer and the horrible, terrible, no good week
I think the problem is not you. I think it is inherent in the institution. We are not meant to spend this much time with this one person. It is just too much. Men are supposed to be out and about in their hunting or war parties. Then they come home every now and then and there’s lots of sex and fun and then they leave again. The women take care of all the shit at home (just like now) but don’t have to entertain the man every single day. So don’t blame yourself. Just try sending him away more often. See if that helps! ;-)
Amys last blog post..Back to School and all that Jazz
Loralee, I was 20 years old when I got married. After 15 years, 3 kids and a “few” pounds…I feel your words. I’ve lived some of them, too. I’ve only been following you for a short time but you feel like an old friend. That usually happens when people speak honestly. Thank you.
Yeah, I’m so there with you.
I was married in the temple the first time (that marriage lasted 15 years, and although my children came from it, it was about 15 years too long). My second lasted 9 minutes, um, months. (It is really important to ask about mental illness BEFORE the wedding) and the third lasted almost 5 years.
I suck at marriage too.
So, not going to do it again. At least that is the plan right now. I’m not even doing men (that doesn’t sound right) right now (actually in that context I’m not “doing” anyone)
I bless you for your honesty. We all have baggage, honey, and God knows we marry the people we do because they are the ones to help us excavate our baggage.
Growing up a “California Mormon” (So Cal at that!) I can corraborate what Backpacking Dad said about us. I remember at several stake youth dances, taking my “CTR” ring and turning it inward so that it wouldn’t cause any guilty feelings.
I remember being in awe of how starched all the kids from Utah seemed when they’d come and visit their California relatives. The Utah boys always sat far enough away from the girls at fireside meetings to make us wonder if we smelled bad.
In all honesty, I grew up with pretty awesome Bishoprics and Stake Leadership so I can’t complain too much.
Loralee, I know from where you speak, as I have been there. This marriage thing…it’s a dance. Sometimes it’s a waltz, sometimes a tango, and sometimes it’s just two bodies swaying together, holding one another up because if they don’t, surely they will fall.
And sometimes sweetie, it’s those of us who are “broken” who make the best dance partners of all.
OK, here’s the OLD lady with my two cents:
My husband and I have been married for 43 years. Yes, there have been ups and downs, but the CONSTANT has always been our love and respect for each other.
He is the ONLY man I ever slept with, that was my gift to him. And I don’t regret it at all.
All marriages have problems, the thing to remember is that you work them out TOGETHER!
OH, and it’s perfectly OK to feel like you do now and then, alright?
Hugs!!!!!
Sharons last blog post..The Pillow…
Loralee, I pray that you can get some comfort about this issue. You are very strong to face your fears and your past and not place blame elsewhere. I think it’s important to remember, though, that our own failures always seem HUGE but really, other people have failures too. I’m not minimizing you, I’m just saying that it’s easy to think that we’re the most messed-up person in the whole state, country, planet, when really we’re just in good company with everyone around us.
And, by the way, I was in a friend’s wedding who, at the reception, served “Plain Punch” and “fancy Punch”. I was all, What does fancy mean? and she told me, the “fancy punch” has alcohol in it. That alone made the whole expense of the bridesmaids dress worth it! hee hee hee
Texan Mamas last blog post..Kudos
See Mr Lady nod understandingly. Nod, Mr Lady, nod.
Mr Ladys last blog post..I’m Still Not Exactly Sure Where I Was Going With This
Over here in Portland- the Mormom weddings are way over the top- no weird, frothy punch or curly ribbon here and a good DJ is a common find at good receptions. The trend is very shi shi. I just don’t get the families spending thousands to transform the meeting house gym- I would spend the money on a venue that doesn’t need transforming! (our b-ball hoops fold up and out of the way though, so you can’t see em anyway).
I am also not the best at marriage- luckily, hubs loves me anyway and we cut each other A LOT of slack- which helps. I did spend some time sowing wild oats and the truth is, I could have lived without it- I did a lot of regretful things out drinking with friends and wanting the attention of some guy in order to boost my self- esteem… ick- I need a shower just thinking about it. Trust me- you did not miss anything.
Margies last blog post..Growing up too fast
You can’t let your past define your future. If we did then folks like me and you wouldn’t have a chance.
Kiles last blog post..I blame Michael Phelps
Honey, I had a ‘past’ when I got married at 28 and it doesn’t make any difference. When you are with a great man, when you work together to make your family, life and marriage work-it’s all worth whatever we’ve been through (or sometimes not been through).
Marriage is hard but I’m convinced that the alternative is even harder.
Headless Moms last blog post..WOMM- Hair, Week 2
I have never been the typical “utah” mormon. I’ve had my fair share of rebel days. I got married at 25. And didn’t have my first child until I was 30. But I wouldn’t give it up for anything. I’m glad I waited until I was older. I was able to get all rebellion out of the way. Plus we were able to go on some fab vacations together.
I may have gotten married in the temple (surprise to some) but my reception was outside, with cheesecake (mmm), and a firetruck came because one of my guest got heat stroke. And anyone that knows me knows that I LOVE FIRETRUCKS (and firemen). I did have bridesmaids but I mostly like them for the pictures.
Just Mes last blog post..Finally
Well I was married at the ripe ol’ age of 17. I got married because I wanted to get the hell out of my town and I did love my hubby. We had just had our daughter and my mother wouldn’t let us get married before she was born so I had this huge stamp on my forehead that said “I don’t know who my baby daddy is” or something to that effect. I never really thought of being a wild and crazy girl…but that just isn’t me.
BTW…no big wedding, just one in a courthouse in which we had to walk thru the metal detector and have the judge talk so quickly I honestly thought he was speaking in a different language. So for all I know he said “Love, honor and screw everyone that winks at you with his right eye” And Chinese buffet afterwards…woot.
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..This Monday sucks
I was married twice before I was 30. I was slutty slutterpants when I was 32 and it was great fun. Ever shown your boobies on the jumbo tron at a Rockies Game? I have!
Then I met ‘him’ and everything is better now. I didn’t really know myself until I was your age.
I googled ‘dancing & mormons’ and I found a bunch of funny you tube videos of Missionaries Dancing. LOL!
You’re very honest and real. I didn’t read all of the comments, but I share Backpacking Dad’s opinion.
You’re doing great, you Theater Person you! ;)
-Chris
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Practical shoes
Wow, that was quite the post. I’m not even sure what to say. But I think you’re way too hard on yourself. I can say this because I’m way too hard on myself too. Hugs.
Rachel (Louisiana)s last blog post..The eleventy-hundredth blog about gymnastics…
That was an amazing post. I think you’re being hard on yourself though. :(
I got married early. I think I was [am] ready, but he was an asshole. *LOL*
Marias last blog post..My Anger Stems from Pain.
you forgot to mention that dreaded Line! twice i had to stand in that stupid line for hours while my cousins missed their own receptions in order to shake everyone single person’s hand! hours!! when my non-utah utah wedding came around i banished The Line!
First off, love this post: your writing style, your honesty, your story-telling. I hail from a small, fundamentalist town in Oregon and the wedding aesthetic inspiration is similar. Also, during first pregnancy, the mom-to-be either hacks or perms her hair. Know anything ’bout that?
Anyhow, just have to say that though I was a goody-goody on the surface (no parties ever, honor roll, newspaper, yearbook, student council, track & field) I slept with my h.s. boyfriend, and in a variety of wild places, and a least 10 others after that before getting married at age 27, and my regrets are not being brave enough to be a drama geek, or to get married young. Also, since the sex was classic people-pleasing, it left me sad much of the time and set up crappy expectations that still hack at my marriage of 8 years. So I feel with you the sense of dismay at how the pieces of life fit together. Sometimes it is just hard and some days “making lemonade” doesn’t make it better or more bearable. However, that said, I do hope an easier time comes for you, soon.
I didn’t get to be slutty until I was between marriages. I made up for the wait.
witchypoos last blog post..Rolling with the Rellies