Deleting my Google Reader: The good, the bad, and the (possibly) ugly.

This weekend, the unimaginable happened.

I deleted my Google Feed Reader.

ON PURPOSE.

I have been pondering this decision for a long time. It’s been jumbled up in conversations that I have with myself regarding balancing my life and the internet. You know which conversations I am referring to. They are very like the conversations that you have with yourself all the time about the exact same thing, right?

Right.

It started in earnest quite some time ago, when I read that Whoorl accidentally deleted her reader. I started thinking...”Hmm…would I freak out if that happened to me or would it be a good thing?”

I found myself thinking about it. Revisiting the situation. Quasi-wishing that I would execute one of my infamous technical blunders that would wipe all my subscriptions out without me “Really” being responsible for it. I hemmed and hawed, discussed it with other bloggers and examined my own motivations until my examiner was sore.

And then I took action.

I am not even sure what happened. I was just sitting in bed on my laptop discussing a medical issue with Christine on Google Chat. She told me to hold on for a minute and I was left staring at my reader with 1,324 unread messages in it. By the time Christine came back on…POOF! My hundreds of subscriptions built up over the last 2.5 years were deleted.

Gone.

Just like that.

Most of you just took a sharp intake of breath, didn’t you? Ok, let me qualify that-those of you that use a feed reader on a daily basis just took a sharp intake of breath, didn’t you? Not surprising. This is a really big, huge move for me. (And don’t think that I don’t feel a little ridiculous to copping to that.)

I am torn between feeling BRAVE! FREE!! LIBERATED!! and SCARED! WORRIED!! NAUSEATED!!!

It’s just that lately, my reader has seemed less and less like a friend and helpmate and more and more like a hostile enemy or bitching spouse that is also suffering from severe Erectile Dysfunction Syndrome. In other words, it wasn’t doing much good and was leaving me feeling highly unsatisfied.

The whole blogging thing isn’t really working too well right now. And if I have learned anything, it’s if something isn’t working you shake things up, change the equation and try to see if it helps. I think that there are positives and negatives that come with this deal.

The GOOD:
I feel free. I really do. Like I am free of never-ending guilt, at least for a time. After BlogHer I realized that as much as I enjoyed meeting new people, new reads, I felt totally powerless to read them because my reader was overwhelming me. I am a pretty loyal person and I am also an avid talker. The combination can be quite a time suck, believe you me.

I also want a more personal, organic blogging experience, if you will. Blog the Recession started by Motherhood Uncensored really resonated with me. People put a lot of time and effort into their web pages. I feel that they deserve to be visited instead of viewed through the sanitized view of my reader. Everyone likes traffic and revenue and I should be doing my part to spread the love around.

The BAD:
I know that there are blogs I was subscribed to that I will lose track of. Despite my best intent. Especially those blogs that only update very infrequently. I just don’t have the brainpower to keep track of them all. Did I mention my reader had hundreds of feeds in it? Even if I like you, even if I really don’t want to lose track of you completely. I’m human and I have a tiny little brain.

I also worry that not having a reader will actually mean I am on the internet MORE and not LESS. I am disorganized by nature, so I worry that I will spend a lot of time checking to see if my favorites are updated and blah, blah, blah.

The (possibly) UGLY:
Hurt feelings. Which is the last thing I want, but I am sure that there will be. Which really sucks a duck because being on the other side of the owies a lot of the time, I really hate hurting people’s feelings.

I want to be clear about something upfront: I DIDN’T DELETE YOUR FEED BECAUSE I DON’T LIKE YOU. I feel that the whole “It’s not you, it’s me” line in relationships is the perhaps the biggest craptastic copout on the planet, and yet that is exactly what I am asking you to buy-lock, stock and barrel.
Yes, it was probably time for me to re-evaluate some of my subscriptions, but for the most part? I really love all y’all.

So, what now?

Well…I dunno.

I didn’t really have a plan for all of this. I find that the longer I blog the more interested I am in the PEOPLE behind the blog rather than the blog itself. Is it weird to say that there are bloggers I LOVE, ADORE, and ADMIRE that I read rarely or not at all? Well, it’s true. And that may make me weird, but it seems to be how I roll, people.

I have a feeling that my main sources of browsing from this point on will be via Twitter, comments, emails and the shared items from Google Reader (I didn’t delete those because I have LOVED the gems I have gotten from people like Sizzle, Marilyn,Angella and Megan.).

My main source of browsing, though?

MY LINKY LOVE PAGE.

If you aren’t on here and want to be? Leave a comment or email me! I’d be more than happy to add you.

It will be interesting to see what comes of this little experiment of mine. I may hate it and go back to the reader. I may love it so much I will want to make out with it and have little babies together. I also think that there is a high probability that I will feel ambivalent about it and end up thinking, “Meh”.

I just hope I don’t end up regretting it, because regrets suck. And I have quite enough of them in my life without adding “Google” to the list. I know that they are taking over the country, the world, and quite possibly the universe, but they don’t have to invade THAT corner of my life, thank you very much.

Any which way the cookie crumbles? It’s going to be interesting trying to figure it all out.

What about you? Have you had thoughts of Feed Readercide? Have you done it? Do you regret it?