I blame my husband.
It’s so unfortunate. He’s been so good about knocking since “The talk”..
Poor kid.
He’s going to need therapy after this week.
And possibly some new retinas. I think they are probably seared off from being subjected to his parents *macking like wild sea otters.
- *”Macking like wild sea otters” is a term to describe sexual mating. It is often confused with the term, “Macking like wild sea sea lions”. The two are entirely different. While both are polygynous, the mating pattern of Otariinae, or sea lions, is initiated by the female. Mating behaviors may or may not include female texting male to come home because the female is dressed up like a Catholic School Girl and has “American Woman” playing in the background.
- “Macking like wild sea OTTERS” , or enhydra lutis, is entirely male dominated with the bulls aggressively mating with females that enter their territory. Basically, if a Tylanol PM hung-over female simply scoots over to warm up her feet on the male and snores a little bit, this will be taken as a sexual green flag and the male will go to town while the still half-asleep female lays highly dormant (although there may be an occasional lifting of the cranium to indicate a posture of ‘WTF?!”) until the mating process is completed and she can just go back to sleep already.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
Live and learn, eh? Think he’ll knock next time?!
Uh oh. Perhaps he’ll just start avoiding the room all together now.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..Trying To Move On
Sometimes the best way to learn is the hard way. I’ve had my own parental nakedness encounters in my youth. No amount of retinal scrubbing will ever relieve that trauma.
Nah, he won’t be going near your room again without a huge announcement in the hall first.
witchypoos last blog post..Bucket List Meme
Ai yi yi! See, this is why I don’t have sex anymore. Too much risk involved! Practice safe sex! Close your bedroom door!
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..The Big Green Monster… and I’m not talking about Boston
You didn’t know that sticking your cold feet on a dude = foreplay? Silly Loralee…..
HeatherPrides last blog post..Photo Essay: The Family Picture
All this time, I thought he was a rabbit.
So, otter, huh?
I didn’t even know there was a difference…
Maybe I should have more sex.
sizzles last blog post..Bare
My friend and I were just discussing how all the mommies we talk to are suddenly having sex with their husbands. We think it’s like animals before a natural disaster. Instinctual. Maybe the end is near?? How else would you explain it? Love your blog.
merlotmoms last blog post..Give Me The Grateful Life – Monday
I think Merlot Mom is on to something. All the Mommies I know are having lots of sex. I’m not saying that I am having lots of sex, I’m just sayin…..
Anyway, thank you so much for the ‘lesson’…you should write for Animal Planet!
Now get a freakin lock for that door already!
Connies last blog post..The Happiness Project
OHG I’m SO laughing at the scientific descriptions! This is hilarious.
Yeah, it’s totally his fault.
OMG… love the definitions. HAHAHA.
Bridges last blog post..Bridge… progress yet again.
This is why I avoid any physical contact with my husband unless I’m truly prepared for the consequences. Which means he isn’t getting any.
Memarie Lanes last blog post..32 Weeks
Okay. So I know this is totally the opposite of what you want to hear….but even at 31, I can still vividly remember walking in on my parents when I was 13. IT WAS UGLY. Hopefully your boy is too young to process “bumping uglies”—cause boy howdy. I just got the heebie-jeebies thinking of that….my parents, not you and Christopher. Because we all know that your boobs are fantastic :)
The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Hey! Look over there! A post!
This, like all the other stories I’ve read of yours, is too funny.
One Saturday morning as a child, I woke up before my parents as usual (or so I thought) and went to watch my cartoons (you know, back when they still had the claymation “After these messages” things? – Ie- real cartoons)
I hear this squeaking noise (patterned) coming from my parents room and go to check it out. I shut the doors as quickly as I opened them and went unnoticed. I then ran back to my room, and waited until I smelled coffee brewing.
I think it would have been much more awkward had they noticed me, but it was still awkward. Not terribly so, but enough that I always remembered to knock on the door, or if I heard the squeaking to go hide for a bit longer. Haha.
You totally found me.
It was a golden ray of sunshine when I was feeling blue.
I’m glad I’m learning the difference between sea lions and sea otters before my marriage. Many thanks.
Your sex posts are so confusing.
Camilles last blog post..{I Know Everything There is to Know}
Really? They’re confusing? Awe, shucks.
Heh, so the talk didn’t do it? :) Poor kid.
Michelle at Scribbits last blog post..Does My Voice Really Sound Like That??
Oh, the talk did it alright. It was so early in the morning, Jon didn’t think they would be up for a long time and so the door was wide open.
Poor little dude.
Sigh.
LOL! LOL! Thank you Loralee, and Jon too I guess, for the laugh.
I think your boys need to go to camp until you two cool it over there.
hahaha.
that is all.
(i so know this is going to happen to me. and then i’m sure i’ll stop laughing!)
alis last blog post..a summer bonus. and i don’t know how to be single.
Poor guy. I remember when one of the girls found “the gel” on the other side of our bed in our room when they weren’t supposed to be in there. “Mom, what’s this?” Honey you don’t even want to know. “No really I do want to know” If I tell you I can never take it back. “No really who’s it for…you, dad?” Both.
I think part of her brain exploded.
I guess on the bright side, at least he wasn’t having a sleepover!
Poor guy. I remember when one of the girls found “the gel” on the other side of our bed in our room when they weren’t supposed to be in there. “Mom, what’s this?” Honey you don’t even want to know. “No really I do want to know” If I tell you I can never take it back. “No really who’s it for…you, dad?” Both.
I think part of her brain exploded.
I guess on the bright side, at least he wasn’t having a sleepover!
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Team Sports
Your definition of macking like wild sea OTTERS…simply amazing.
Nobody has ever put that into words so perfectly. I must fight the urge to show this post to AJ. He may not find it so funny.
A.C.s last blog post..Stupid Hair
LMBO here. And yes the wild sea OTTERS? My life. Awesome.
T.
T@SendChocolates last blog post..Spirit West Coast Wrap Up
Good Lord, what is in your water – Viagra?
I will email you my shipping address in a bit.
“Oh Honey by the way – here is some Ogden Spring Water from Loralee. I will be back in an hour, and while you are looking through the closet for leather, try and find the REO Speedwagon cassette”.
Davies last blog post..Goodbye old girl
@Davie:
Hardly. The LAST talk we seriously were just watching TV, but he has this habit of bursting in when I’m changing or Jon is getting out of the shower.
THIS time, he did indeed see action. Although it was blanketed so hopefully not as scarring as it could have been.
And?
DUDE. REO SPEEDWAGON! I had not considered this for mood music but suddenly a whole horizon of new possibilities has opened up!!!!
YAY!
Okay I so didn’t mean to leave two comments and odd ones at that. Sorry!
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Team Sports
OMG! Laughing my ass off!
Just Mes last blog post..Finally
I don’t know if you’ve submitted those definitions to Webster yet, but you totally should.
Melains last blog post..Breaking Dawn ***no spoilers***
Macking? I’m happy to visit the aquarium now and then.
Love it!
always home and uncools last blog post..My Son, The Monkey Boy
ACK! I’m sure it is bound to happen to everyone at some point.
I haven’t used the term mack since high school! :)
180/360s last blog post..Take that Starbucks!
Ahhh… Tylenol PM… such a wonderful thing.
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..Totally Inappropriate Olympics Commentary
LL,
Karen and I are laughing pretty hard. It would be interesting to do a scientific poll to find out how many people this has happened to. I would bet more than half of people walk in on their parents.
I feel you pain, you brought back memories of when I was a young mother at 21 my husband and I didnt know our oldest was under the bed. . . Yeah . . . we had to explain why we ere allowed to jump on the bed and she wasnt!