Dear Oregon Trail computer game,
Remember how I spent hours and hours in junior high trying to conquer you? I would skip lunch and spend day after day in the library trying to get my little covered wagon 2000 miles to the promised land of Oregon?
(To those concerned about putting a computer game before lunch, now would probably be the time to confess that lunch usually consisted of one Cherry Coke and two ice cream sandwiches. There was a REASON I weighed 300 lbs. at one point, people.)
Despite all my dedication, I wasn’t very good at The Oregon Trail.
I always seemed to run out of money, suck at shooting buffalo for food when I was lucky enough to have them appear, and the damn Columbia River at The Dalles always managed to swamp my wagon. I knew I should opt to take Barlow Road, but that damn river was a challenge, so I rarely listened to reason. Most of the people in my party usually drowned.
When a member of your party dies, you make a tombstone for them and attend a funeral. There may have been one or two, “Accidental deaths” of my party that may or may not have been fueled by a desire to make juvenile captions on the headstones like “Here lies Anna, a poor, sweet flower. Perished of heart break cuz of stinky Bobby in 2nd hour.”
(Hey, I SAID I was in junior high at the time, ok?)
Needless to say, I attended a lot of “funerals” my 7th grade year.
Death is rampant on your trail, Mr. Oregon: Death by rattlesnake, drowning (the underwater tombstones you can make ARE pretty sweet. I refuse to think that this may be the underlaying reason why The Dalles river wading option was so appealing), starvation, and my personal favorite-dysentery. I find it rather unfair that with my excrement issues I had to die of rampant trots all the time.
From Gaming Fashion courtesy of Taste Like Crazy via Twitter:

Your little AppleII game was the nemeses of my 7th grade year. I find it unbelievable that with all the hours that I played you I only actually made it to Oregon a handful of times. No matter how hard I would try, my party would always perish and I rarely saw the screen shot with the beautiful river and meadow of flowers that was the finish line.
BUT ALL OF THAT IS ABOUT TO CHANGE!
Do you know WHY?
Because in the middle of all the applications that I find confusing and the pointless Mardi Gras beads and beers that get thrown to me, I have discovered (thanks to a fellow cast member of the musical I am in) that FACEBOOK HAS AN OREGON TRAIL APPLICATION!
So, prepare yourself, Mr. Oregon Trail.
You are about to be my bitch.


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OH MY GOSH. This is the best day ever.
Rhis last blog post..Oh, right! Friday Bullets
Don’t know much about the game you luv/hate, BUT, I did learn in this post that you’re a “theater person” (which explains much). Neat. A friend I went to high school with is in town because he had a gig up at Deer Valley last night (Broadway music). I just spoke with his wife (also a theater person) and I had to confess, that try as I might – I’m not one (a theater person)…Could I type that one more time?! It’s time for my Sunday afternoon drinky-poo. Gawd.
Good luck on the Oregon Trail!
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Just keep throwing pennies Debbie…
Well, theater (and theater people) aren’t for everyone.
This news may be tempting enough for my husband to sign up for a Facebook account.
Jill – GlossyVeneers last blog post..Playing Memory
Oh. Didn’t mean any offense. Wish I had the inhibitions, talents, and depth of artists who can sing, dance and act. It’s a cool, cool thing.
Bravo!
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Just keep throwing pennies Debbie…
Thanks for clarifying. It can be a very cool thing to be a theater person. We can also be friggin’ crazy, though. (Wink)
Look i found you! haha And now i’m playing oregon trail like the good ol’ days
Tophs last blog post..The Weekend (so far…)
i like theater people…
Giddyap, girl!! Hyah, horsey!! And try not to drown in the friggin’ river.
lceel ‘Uncle Lou’s last blog post..The Kid lives on and on and on
Here lies Andy, peperony and chease.
Craigs last blog post..Some Secrets
Now I finally have a reason to use my Facebook account too!
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..Sunday Funnies
Hooray for theatre people not being for everyone. It makes them special…er, something!
cory at agoodhusband.nets last blog post..Ask A Good Husband a Question Round 2
That is so freaking cool. That might almost be reason enough to sign up for Facebook. I remember Oregon Trail vividly.
I too, attended lots of funerals ;-)
rachels last blog post..Shades of a Memory
WHAT.
Oregon Trail was the BEST. GAME. EVER.
Dammit, I weaned myself off Facebook last year! I can’t bear to start up again… can I?
DAMMIT.
Thankfully that’s one game I haven’t been addicted to yet. I wonder what exactly constitutes a “theater person?” Is it simply a description or used with derision as in “there’s a bunch of them damned theater people passed out on my front lawn again!”
this was my favorite game in the fourth grade. a fellow classmate and i figured out how to cheat via a little bug in the software, so we had endless amounts of cash and NEVER ran out of supplies. these days, you’d call it the pimp wagon. back then, i didn’t know what pimp meant.
jesss last blog post..easy. yummy. not low fat.
I too am confused as hell about the Facebook apps and Mardi Gras beads.
And I never liked Oregon Trail. Too hard to win.
I, um, have never heard of Oregon Trail.
Maybe because I’m Canadian?
Angellas last blog post..Twenty Years Later
Oh my gosh. Flashbacks of elementary school are filling my mind! Oregon Trail was so much fun. My friend Brenda and I loved going to the library when we were in 6th grade, to play OT and Where in the World is Carmen San Diego. I am giggling over here, because wow, what dorks we were back then. :)
I just wanted to pop over and say that it was so great to meet you at BlogHer this year. San Francisco was so much fun.
Can’t wait for next year’s conference, and I hope we can meet again in the future!
Danas last blog post..Ripping Off the Band-Aid, Part I
aah…oregon trail. my neighbor’s were obsessed, I think I only had second hand watching envy. Thank goodness I don’t facebook.
Denise @ EatPlayLoves last blog post..Got Old Pots & Pans, Create Some Family Music!
I would so lovely to play with you. Sadly, my net connection will be spotty in the next few days? weeks? months? oh dear lord why?
ANYWAY — I always YEARNED to get on the computers in the lab that had Oregon Trail on them (the few, the coveted few) and never felt I got to play enough. Definitely off to check it out.
falwyns last blog post..checking in and out … for a while
tomorrow afternoon I’m hitting facebook! I loved that game, even though I never made it to Oregon- and I never had the aim to get the buffalo! Great shirt!!!
heather hales DESIGNSs last blog post..Yummy!
OH MY GOD I am SO on it! I LOVED/HATED that game! AWESOME!!
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post.."As You Wish" Auds!
That shirt is all kinds of awesome.
Also… I have been resisting facebook and accusing the people at work of stalking each on it, but if I can play Oregon Trail??? I might have to sign up and stalk them.
elizabeths last blog post..Thank you, thank you!
SQUEEEE!!! Thanks for cluing me in Loralee
Hollys last blog post..Whoa!
TOTALLY the best game on facebook. It used to be Scrabulous, but suit-happy Hasbro put an end to that.
BEST. GAME. EVER.
I am checking it out right now.
Oh, how I ADORED Oregon Trail. Many fond hours were spent shooting buffalo with a green, blinking cursor. I would like to join you in making OT my bitch.
OMG, you’re reminding me I had a Commadore 64 at one point during childhood. Oh dear.
Nilsas last blog post..Load
I’m glad I could point you in the right direction, Lor! Hey, are you on for Friday? We need to have another chatty-chatty session! ;) And don’t get too addicted, okay?
karas last blog post..366 DAYS.
Sadly, no. Debbie’s last performance is on Friday. I have this Wednesday, then the 13, 15, 21, 23 and the two shows on closing night (29th)
We should call Aubry and grab a bite and some conversation one of these nights. I would totally be game.
Hi, Just found your website thru June CLeaver Nirvana. Don’t really understand the Peep of the WEek thing. I post and link to you? What for? I’d like to participate, but just wondering what it all means. Thanks.
Texan Mamas last blog post..Scary Stuff
Or you could have just flown to Oregon with us yesterday. We’re here right now!
Love that you’re a theater person! My brother and I grew up in the theater..Break a leg and all that..
Robins last blog post..The 80’s Called..They Want Their Perm Back.
Oregon Trail was AWESOME. I never got to play much, though. That was only for cool kids.
Remember Number Munchers?
A.C.s last blog post..Best parody evah!
Ah chimney rock and buffalo, how I miss thee
Genevas last blog post..You know you are in the heart of Mesa when…
Thanks ever. As if I don’t spend enough time online. Of course I had to go and sign up. I understand sharing the love, or rather, the sickness. I moved 10 miles and someone is already sick!
T.
T@SendChocolates last blog post..Spirit West Coast Wrap Up
okay, if they really do start Oregon Trail, let me know. I’ll have to break down and actually start facebook.
Dawns last blog post..Rick Rolled Redux
You have to check out a book called “I was told there’d be cake” by sloane crosley — it has an entire essay devoted to Oregon Trail. Simply wonderful.
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