“Son, before we finish eating, Mom and Dad need to talk to you about the rules regarding our bedroom door. What is our rule?”
“That we have to knock when we come in.”
“Yes. YOU MUST KNOCK BEFORE COMING IN. Now, you have been having a BIG problem keeping that rule. You almost never knock and it’s gotten to the point that we need to talk about it. For example, tonight when Mom and Dad were laying down, and you kept coming in, did you knock first? Even after we reminded you?”
“No, but I am always just tempted to open the door and come in. Knocking takes a long time.”
“Well, here is the thing, son. I need to find a way to explain this so you will understand why it’s important to knock. So, I’ll be blunt. A lot of the time that Mom and Dad are in their bedroom, they are NAKED. Not only NAKED, but Mom and Dad also like to KISS while NAKED. We like to KISS NAKED A LOT. If you are going to keep barging into our room without knocking, I need to let you know that there is a very good possibility that you are going to see a lot of NAKED KISSING. Unless you knock. Then we have time to not be NAKED and stop KISSING. So…what do you think?”
(Blink. Blink. Blinkity-blink-blink.)
“I don’t think that I will ever be tempted to come into your room ever again.”
“Good plan. Finish your carrots.”
- *I’ll announce the “McWhoorlalee” contest winner on Sunday (Monday at the latest) there were so many freaking awesome entries I need a bit more time and I have back to back shows today.
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That is delightful. I think I may have to use that on the teenagers who seem to forget ( or choose to forget) that closed doors mean something in our house.
We used to sleep with the door closed, but since we have had two incidents of molotov cocktails through the neighbour’s (a few doors down) window, I don’t dare close them and miss if that were to happen to us. Gosh if it’s not the kids screwing with your love life, it’s the hooligans. Can’t anyone just give two old folks 3 minutes alone, it’s not like I am asking for an hour, all I want is 3 maybe 4 minutes!
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[...] one way to convince your kids to knock. Too [...]
I was referred to this post from a friend. Absolutely hilarious!
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I feel like such a fool. Here I have been wasting all this time trying to tip toe around the issue with discussions about “PRIVACY” and “COURTESY” and “SERIOUSLY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST KNOCK ON THE DAMN DOOR.”
I have seen the error of my ways now. Thank you.
This TOPS my list of conversations I don’t look forward to having with my children.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..How to murder a fly. A tutorial.
Yay for naked kissing! And yay for you for creating a genius emergency plan!
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Wooo for naked kissing. :P
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So. That honesty thing? That really works? Oh, wait. I just read the follow-up on this and now know that it doesn’t.
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..Totally Inappropriate Olympics Commentary
Oh, no. It WORKS. My husband just left the door wide open. It was early in the morning (Like, REALLY early) and we thought they would be asleep for at least a couple more hours.
Poor kid is not going to come within 100 ft of our door now. ;)
and again I have fallen in love with you. like NAKED KISSING love.
Dawns last blog post..Rick Rolled Redux
We just had our oldest son walk in on us doing it for the first time. It was definitely a Freudian moment alright.
shondas last blog post..Grocery Store Prices, Just Makin’ It Up As We Go
This was HILARIOUS! I found you through the BlogHer post – writing about sex.
too utterly hilarious!@
Mary
That is so funny, think I’ll try that one!