“Son, before we finish eating, Mom and Dad need to talk to you about the rules regarding our bedroom door. What is our rule?”
“That we have to knock when we come in.”
“Yes. YOU MUST KNOCK BEFORE COMING IN. Now, you have been having a BIG problem keeping that rule. You almost never knock and it’s gotten to the point that we need to talk about it. For example, tonight when Mom and Dad were laying down, and you kept coming in, did you knock first? Even after we reminded you?”
“No, but I am always just tempted to open the door and come in. Knocking takes a long time.”
“Well, here is the thing, son. I need to find a way to explain this so you will understand why it’s important to knock. So, I’ll be blunt. A lot of the time that Mom and Dad are in their bedroom, they are NAKED. Not only NAKED, but Mom and Dad also like to KISS while NAKED. We like to KISS NAKED A LOT. If you are going to keep barging into our room without knocking, I need to let you know that there is a very good possibility that you are going to see a lot of NAKED KISSING. Unless you knock. Then we have time to not be NAKED and stop KISSING. So…what do you think?”
(Blink. Blink. Blinkity-blink-blink.)
“I don’t think that I will ever be tempted to come into your room ever again.”
“Good plan. Finish your carrots.”
-
*I’ll announce the “McWhoorlalee” contest winner on Sunday (Monday at the latest) there were so many freaking awesome entries I need a bit more time and I have back to back shows today.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
LOL. Your straightforwardness makes me really laugh. This is just so funny….hehe. Greets from Vienna (Austria/Europe)
Ivys last blog post..Langsam mag ich nimmer…
LOLOLOL I am soooo falling off my chair right now. Sorry that was damn funny after the week I;ve had. MWA HA HA HA HA
Tonis last blog post..Feeling the love
ha ha, very funny, I bet he didn’t know WHAT to think!!!
Sams last blog post..Six quirky things!
loralee…you are my new hero. wait, i think i’ve said that about you before, so maybe you’re not a new hero, but you are seriously solidifying your hero status. that was awesome! i laughed out loud and my 15 year old daughter wanted to know why. i couldn’t tell her because i think she might actually like the idea of naked kissing. not really, but she is me all over again so it would intrigue her for darn sure!
natalies last blog post..Naked Vacation
LOVE THIS. I am SO using it when my kids get older. Mwahahahahahaha…
Angellas last blog post..Trying To Find My Voice
Oh man! That made me laugh! I think what you said was right on!
One time seeing your parents naked is enough. It was for our daughter, and it was for me! After that, she knocked a whole bunch of times before coming in!
LOL!
Julies last blog post..A piece of ice, anyone?
Naked AND kissing! Anything but that! LOL – that’s awesome. (Right now we call it “Mommy-Daddy Time” – but I will totally save your explanation for a later date…)
falwyns last blog post..checking in and out … for a while
That is freakin’ hilarious! I wish my parents had put it to me that way before I scarred myself for life.
rimaramas last blog post..Some Robots are Nicer Than Others
LOL. I love it. I don’t know what I would have said if my parents said that to me. hahaha
I’m excited to see who won. I enjoyed reading everyones submissions. They were much funnier than what I could think of so I decided to sit this one out. :)
angelas last blog post..Gone With The Coach
I’m new here. How old is this child? Because that’s a really good (and effective) explanation.
Stimeys last blog post..What’s Going to Happen
lol.
we’ve had a few “incidents” here too.
I think I’ll serve up some carrots and do some spainin’ soon!
Candaces last blog post..and then there is this moment
There’s one way to explain it. Didn’t deter my kids. I’m beginning to believe we’ll give the kids our room and hubby with take son’s room and I’ll take the daughter’s room. At least I’d get sleep
Jennifer As last blog post..Mommy Brain, but I’m not pregnant
We had that problem this morning! Our son said he knocked but all he heard was kissing and mumbling. My husband told him we were exercising. I said, “I don’t kiss your father?!” I LOATHE dealing with this…
Csquaredplus3s last blog post..Oh no you di’nt!
Oh my gosh. That is absolutely hysterical. That’s my kind of parenting.
rachels last blog post..Shades of a Memory
Oh, that is FUNNY.
Rhis last blog post..Oh, right! Friday Bullets
Oh my God. That was awesome…and I really hope I never have to have that canversation
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post.."As You Wish" Auds!
That’s freaking hilarious!… and I SO identify! My hubby and I like to kiss nakedly when our kids are playing at the neighbors and we lock the door. The window may be cracked, so if we get loud enough the neighbors can get out their popcorn, but that’s better than a neighborhood of 5 year olds running in and asking about it. LOL
When I was a kid we just weren’t allowed in our parents’ room ever, for any reason. Right now I’m just trying to get my kids to let me pee by myself.
I couldn’t stop giggling. I can totally visualize the blinking that was going on.
hee hee hee… naked kissing. I am going to use that.
Kemis last blog post..To pee or not to pee…
awesome!!
heather hales DESIGNSs last blog post..Yummy!
Can you come over here and give this speech to our cats? Because they don’t seem get it.
schmutzies last blog post..I Promise To Use My Powers For Good
That is classic parenting.
HILARIOUS.
slynnros last blog post..Scenes From a Yuppie Apartment Complex: Unfortunate Resident Edition
I think you did it simply, with style and a little dash of funny! Loved it!
designher mommas last blog post..I’m accomplished
This is a convesation that needs to take place in my house now that my boys have seen every episode of Spongebob Squarepants we used to rely on as a “Mommy and Daddy are sleepy! We’re going to take a little nap!” diversion! My oldest may have figured out before I was ready for him to, though! – http://foradifferentkindofgirl.blogspot.com/search?q=homophone+for+pound
(looking forward to spending some time here!)
foradifferentkindofgirl (FADKOG)s last blog post..it’s apparently fun to stay at the hol-i-day inn
I like that explanation. I’m just worried about how to explain naked kissing that’s not lip-on-lip, but lip-on-something-else-entirely…
@mothergoosemouse
You just made me snort Frito crumbs up my nose. Just so you know. (Off to bwaha ha ha ha ha ha! Some more…)
Wow, I explained it using “penis” and “vagina” pretty liberally to my seven year old. I never thought to just say we were just kissing! Of course my child may NEVER go into our room again- knocking or not.
Oh no you didn’t!! That is too awesome for words!
Jill (CDJ)s last blog post..I am trying to break your heart
So Funny!
I may have to use this approach now that my kids are old enough for the “knock before you enter” talk but not quite old enough for the full sex talk.
Headless Moms last blog post..3 days left!
LOL.
Bernes last blog post..Classy…
DUDE. We were just interrupted for the first time ever the other night. Talk about killing the mood!
That was hillarious! I want to be a fly on the wall in your kitchen :)
HappyCamperss last blog post..I Love My Point & Shoot
A friend of mine once was teaching a primary class and they were talking about things they do on Sundays. One kid said they take naps and another one said his parents always take a “naked nap” on sundays. She was trying so hard not to die laughing and had a hard time not busting a gut when his mom came to pick him up. She said it’s hard to look at them and not think of their “naked nap Sundays”!
Jesss last blog post..projects in the works
oh my word! I must say, I never thought of that approach. LOLOLOLOL
Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)s last blog post..Have you checked out the photos?
Genius!
Christines last blog post..An open letter to Kathy Griffin
hahaha!! That’s an awesome damn way to solve that problem!! so funny!!!
Danielles last blog post..My Hot New Accessory
If we’re expected to teach them about the birds and the bees then what the hell is school for? Luckily our bedroom door came installed with a lock.
Kiles last blog post..Walmart Day!
Way to gross him out :) That oughta fix things!
LOL
Michelle at Scribbits last blog post..Zoobies and Kids Fun Cards Giveaway
If I ever have kids of my own, I will be sure to use that tactic.
Camilles last blog post..{Introducing the Best New Feature Since I Learned How to Post Photos}
I put my hands over my eyes in the middle of the post. Something about all the nakedness.
Kristens last blog post..Everyone is a winner here!
It’s one thing to have to explain that to your kids, but I know someone that had that conversation with their father-in-law after he walked into their apartment and then their bedroom sans ANY knocking about a month after they got married! Eeeooow!!!
Funny LL.
I don’t think our kids ever walked in on us but our first apartment might as well have had the neighbor in the bedroom.
It was about 2 months after living there as newlyweds when one night I heard his phone ring. I could actually make out both sides of the conversation through the walls.
Aaaaawwkward.
From that point forward my wife has been much less – um, vocal.
Dammit.
We are currently nine months pregnant and due in only 9 days! I vaguely remember naked kissing. I seem to remember a bunch of it nine months ago.
I really really miss naked kissing.
Davies last blog post..2 weeks
This is perfect timing. I’ve been thinking about how to explain the birds and the bees to my daughter. I’d love to get the blinkety-blink-blink reaction!
Jen Ws last blog post..Darn those stupid Jibbits
Ha! That’ll teach him! Parents and naked kissing…sure to gross out any little boy!
Karlys last blog post..Long And Ranty And Probably Too Many Bad Words. Also? Lots of Caps Lock.
OMG…you are a genius!
Mrs. Schmittys last blog post..The Dreaded C Word
Love the naked kissing. We tell our kids they can have an hour on the computers, and they wouldn’t know if the house burned down around them…works for us parents of young teenagers.
LOL. I love that like marketing specialists you used the right word repeatedly during your speech to get the point across. Well done! I bet you could sell bridges to people. I wonder if the naked kissing line works on them too?
HILARIOUS! I’m filing this one away as I’m quite certain all parents will need to use it at some point or another!
Nilsas last blog post..Bumpy
Huh. It’s as easy as that! Maybe I’ll unfurl a little blatant honesty on my own sweet cherubs…. Or, maybe I’ll just continue to tell them that rabid fanged fairies will carry them away if they don’t listen to what I say.
maggie, dammits last blog post..Happy 11th Anniversary, Darlin’
That is delightful. I think I may have to use that on the teenagers who seem to forget ( or choose to forget) that closed doors mean something in our house.
We used to sleep with the door closed, but since we have had two incidents of molotov cocktails through the neighbour’s (a few doors down) window, I don’t dare close them and miss if that were to happen to us. Gosh if it’s not the kids screwing with your love life, it’s the hooligans. Can’t anyone just give two old folks 3 minutes alone, it’s not like I am asking for an hour, all I want is 3 maybe 4 minutes!
4s last blog post..My sister, my friend.
[...] one way to convince your kids to knock. Too [...]
I was referred to this post from a friend. Absolutely hilarious!
Brians last blog post..A Tribute
I feel like such a fool. Here I have been wasting all this time trying to tip toe around the issue with discussions about “PRIVACY” and “COURTESY” and “SERIOUSLY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST KNOCK ON THE DAMN DOOR.”
I have seen the error of my ways now. Thank you.
This TOPS my list of conversations I don’t look forward to having with my children.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..How to murder a fly. A tutorial.
Yay for naked kissing! And yay for you for creating a genius emergency plan!
LiteralDans last blog post..10 ways work differs from home
Wooo for naked kissing. :P
ingrids last blog post..reminder! squatter saturday!
So. That honesty thing? That really works? Oh, wait. I just read the follow-up on this and now know that it doesn’t.
Missives From Suburbias last blog post..Totally Inappropriate Olympics Commentary
Oh, no. It WORKS. My husband just left the door wide open. It was early in the morning (Like, REALLY early) and we thought they would be asleep for at least a couple more hours.
Poor kid is not going to come within 100 ft of our door now. ;)
and again I have fallen in love with you. like NAKED KISSING love.
Dawns last blog post..Rick Rolled Redux
We just had our oldest son walk in on us doing it for the first time. It was definitely a Freudian moment alright.
shondas last blog post..Grocery Store Prices, Just Makin’ It Up As We Go
This was HILARIOUS! I found you through the BlogHer post – writing about sex.
too utterly hilarious!@
Mary
That is so funny, think I’ll try that one!