At some point, I shall actually try to crank out a post that is well written, thoughtful and hilarious. For now? I’m still basking in the glow of my piles of laundry and thinking about the hideous potential of ANOTHER car repair, so I want to get down and have a little fun with you and Whoorl.
Why?
Because Whoorl is pretty. And it sounds fun. And possibly a little dirty. Although in reality it isn’t whatsoever. Dammit.
I think I have some of the best comments on the planet. (Seriously? Seriously.)
Which is why I want you all to come up with a caption and/or imaginary conversation for this awesome photo by the fabulous Dutch Blitz:
Whoorl is a good sport for letting me play this game. This is the two of us at Y’s infamous BlogHer CheeseburgHer Party. (Which I loved. After 33 years on the earth, I FINALLY attended a party that was shut down by The Law. I’ve arrived, people.)
There are no real prizes, but the commenter who comes up with the best caption for this photo will earn my undying love and respect. And I’ll make out with you and post photos of our make out session on the internet. Because THAT IS HOW I ROLL, PEOPLE.
(Ok, fine. If you DON’T want to make out with me I will let you choose the non-monetary prize of your choice. Want linky love? Done. Want me to read something of yours and review it, answer a question or write something about the topic of your choice? SO there. Want me to ride nekkid on a donkey with you at the next Mardi Gras? Maybe. It depends on how many beads I’ll get out of it.)
Point is: You’ll get to pick your prize. Within reason, of course.
And if that wasn’t enough excitement, MY HUSBAND may actually comment on one of my posts.
(Somebody be prepared to catch me if I pass out in shock, please. Except I’ll give Backpacking Dad a free pass on this one. He’s been doing heavy duty overtime in the chivalry department for the blogosphere lately and I imagine he’s a bit knackered.)
“Fiji water will CHANGE your LIFE, Whoorl. Change your LIFE. You know it comes from artesian wells, right? Drink it. DRINK it. DRINK, DADGUMMIT!”
Camilles last blog post..Camille & Poor Kyle Consummate the Marriage and Invite All Y’all to Have a Look-see
“Are you SURE that McDonald’s hats work as well as tin foil?”
There. I commented. You owe me sexual favors now.
“So, I was in Fiji (that’s where I got this water by the way; if you’ve never been you should totally go) and this poseur surfer due with a nipple ring comes sauntering up to me and he’s all “Hey, I, uh, like your eyes and stuff, babe.” And then I was all “Whatever poseur,” and I TOTALLY YANKED HIS NIPPLE RING OUT LIKE THIS!!”
“Dude. You have never, ever, been to Fiji.”
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Getting to Know Your Local Redneck
“Wanna go in the other room and make out?”
“Okay”
Loralee: My hand is just inches from your boob and I could totally grab it if I wanted.
Whoorl: Um, yeah. If you do, I will seriously start a cat fight. That might mess up my awesome hair though, so no, but I would totally kick your ass in my head. Besides you don’t have the balls to grab my boob. I’m Whoorl.
Loralee: You’re who and why are you questioning my balls? Look, I just made out with a woman named Mr. Lady not 30 minutes ago. I’ve got balls.
Whoorl: Ohhhh, I am impressed. Ok then, you may touch my boob, but don’t tell the Queen of Shake Shake because she is my blog lov-ah.
Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..If French Women Don’t Get Fat, Does This Mean They Don’t Blog in France?
whoorl: I can’t take your solution to the Darfur crisis seriously though I’m not sure why.
kiridas last blog post..awesome. not awesome.
What do you mean you don’t smoke pot? You’ve got a fucking McDonalds bag on your head. Hit this joint, bitch!
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Answer
My Hat is way prettier than your hat!
Connies last blog post..Photography School
Holy shit, these are making my morning. BWAHAAAA.
whoorls last blog post..Terrible Twos
Whoorl: What do you know about the Mormon church? Would you like to know more?
“You take the blue pill – the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill – you stay in CheeseburgHer land forever…and we make out.”
A.C.s last blog post..Morning Text Message Conversation
“This finger is going right up your nose.”
lceels last blog post..Earlier That Evening ….
“But I think my bag looks fine.”
“OK. Sure. But is that what you want to say to the world? Fine? I think we can do better.”
Miss Britts last blog post..Not Fine.
whoorl: loralee, please stop encouraging people that this mcdonald’s hat thing is a new trend. i’m going to be out of a job, you know.
(at least that’s what whoorl said to me when I tried to convince her ;) )
alis last blog post..i have waited SEVEN years for this…
L: I find you fascinating and so talented. Have you noticed how certain mathematical equations…blah blah blah
W: [thinking - Invading my personal space just a skosh. I need to breathe. I can taste what she last ate. What is up with her hair?]
Chriss last blog post..Oh no you di’nt!
Seriously, you have to tear the bag around the edges a bit and then fold it up in the front. Otherwise it is just a bag over your head. Hurry, people are beginning to stare.
HRHs last blog post..How to get your dog in the car
Internal Dialogue:
(Whoorl) I can’t hear a word she’s saying with this paper bag pulled over my ears.
(Loralee) This is awesome. Whoorl is utterly FASCINATED by me!
*****
Since I already have your undying love and respect, it’s ok if I don’t win. RIGHT!?
;-)
sizzles last blog post..Screwed
Try some – just a sip – it will make it easier.
I know, I know, no one really want to do it the first time, but it won’t last long. Besides, I promised him “something special” if he commented on my blog and I am running out of ideas.
Do this for me Whoorl, do this for all the lonely LDS bloggers, do this for sisterhood or the picture of you with the McDonalds hat goes international.
Davies last blog post..Move That Bus!
“EVERYONE knows that the Egg McMuffin came before the Mc Griddle! How could you not know that?”
KD @ A Bit Squirrellys last blog post..Then I Was All Like ‘TIME OUT FOR YOU SISTER!’
Whoorl: Why do you get TWO paperbags and I only have one?
Loralee: Um – I guess you didn’t hear about me being a famous and rich blogger.
Whoorl and Loralee using the “I can’t see you” tactic in hopes that no one else in the room noticed they weren’t wearing any pants.
Dawns last blog post..To Whom it May Concern
Loralee: So when no one was looking I totally filled this Figi water bottle with vodka.
Whoorl: Vodka is a little too debutante for my taste.
; )
L: Get this! It turns out that ALL shampoos have the same basic chemical ingredient, sodium laureth sulfate. So when you get right down to it, all shampoos are basically all the same and can be used interchangeably and you don’t need to spend a lot of money on hair care products. Cool, huh?
W: You are dead to me.
jon deals last blog post..My New Hobby
Hahahahaha! I LOVE THESE. I shouldn’t even bother, since I took the shot, but here goes…
L: “If Angella doesn’t stop taking photos of us with these bags on our heads, I’m going to take that big flash of hers and shove it up her nose”.
W: “I’ll back you up”.
Angellas last blog post..Wait. Where Was I?
Word of advise, don’t read the comments before trying to come up with a caption. SO many great ones, now all my ideas just sound lame. Crap.
Loralee: Your hat will look so much more piquant, and French, and have that certain je ne sais quoi if you just tilt it to one side, and carry fancy water, and and talk with your hands like this, and… oh, wait… did you take the cheeseburgers out of it yet?
Whoorl (pretending to listen patiently, but really thinking): Blah blah blah blah blah blah. The McDonald’s Cheeseburger Hair Steam is the best trick EVER for achieving shiny shiny locks, and I am so NOT telling anyone else in the world about it. Ever.
From the woman in the background: “Those bitches over there think they’re hot. Huh, I could take both of them and their Fiji Water.”
Adriennes last blog post..Kids and Cell Phones
L: Do my fingers smell like cheeseburgers?
W: I am not talking until I can take this bag off my head.
Jennifers last blog post..Typing with a Schmoo-driver
You know, I had this whole dialogue worked out in my mind, which may have involved the phrase “McWhoorlalee sandwich” (the non-dirtay kind) and definitely involved the phrase “all up in this bitch,” but then I figured less is more, and just decided to go with this:
Gah, I HATE when this happens. Well, one of us is gonna have to change, and it’s NOT GOING TO BE ME.”
metalias last blog post..The Thin Black Line
MCWHOORLALEE SANDWICH?? HA HA HA HA HA HA
Dude, spot me $40 and follow me into the back room. I just spent 20 minutes hangin’ with these rastafarians in there and they have the BEST ‘oregano’!
Heather Lessiters last blog post..Nifty Thrifty Thursday: Hulu.com
Whoorl: What’s the deal, L? I’m quite certain my Hair Thursday peeps voted that you wear the Burger King crown. The spikes and cylindrical shape would be far more flattering to your jawline.
Must Be Motherhoods last blog post..July Triumphs
So, does this bag make my hair look fat?
Mary Beths last blog post..LIKE HAIRS THROUGH A COMB, SO GO THE STRANDS OF OUR LIVES
said in a drunken slurred tone of voice: *your eyes are reeeeeeeeealllllly pretty. did you know that? really. uhm hmm. yep. so pretty i just want to kiss em. i do. (tilts head for kiss…) wait…did you know you have a mcdonald’s hat on your head? why? have i said your eyes are really pretty?…*
correction – that was what whoorl was saying to loralee. yes, i know i’m special.
caption – whoorl and loralee having a stare down…winner gets ronald mcdonald.
Loralee to Whirl: I wish I knew how to quit you.
Robins last blog post..Husband and Wife Speak
Loralee – “I’ll show you my McNuggets if you show me your Big Mac!”
Whoorl- I once had a cheeseburger with this much cheese on it.
What??!? you don’t believe me do you??!?!
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Monday’s Musings
Um…can Mary Beth win? ‘Cause that shiz is hilarious!!!
A.C.s last blog post..Today…
I am terrible at coming up with funny captions. So my only contribution is…I vote for Metalia!
bethany actuallys last blog post..Can’t sleep? Might as well blog.
Loralee: You should totally use these hats as ways to help people on Hair Thursdays. If their hair looks bad enough, they just get a McD’s bag hat. It could work. It’s been proven that bloggers across America would prefer to wear McD’s hats than not. I have the statistic somewhere…I’ll email it to you.
Whoorl: I think not.
Rachel (Louisiana)s last blog post..Looking back…
This is quite possibly the funniest set of comments evah!
Love the photo, too.
i am terminally unwitty so I shall remain a spectator.
rachels last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: Monkey Style
I had one, and then I saw Jonathan’s comment and spit out hot cocoa all over my keyboard.
Now I have to clean that up.
It’s all about the special sauce…
Megs last blog post..You Never Know Your Impact
“So I said “I SAID NO CHEESE, BITCH” and that’s when she jammed the bag on my head. How did you get yours?”
“Look sister. Quit hatin’ on my blog. You know, I’ve got some special sauce with YOUR name on it.”
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..My July Perfect Post Award goes to…..
Please, please, please keep this contest going for another day. I have no time right now, but I will later today.
Just a little heads up- I will definitely be seeing you at Mardi Gras!
Adams last blog post..You better be talking about corned beef, buddy.
“If you were a hobbit, I’d have sex with you”
Oh, wow, a total blank on this one and I so was looking forward to the kinky . . . . wait a minute, Linky Love? Oh, sorry, never mind.
JoeInVegass last blog post..E Friday and entertainment this weekend
It’s like a condom for your head. Sure it gets the job done, but it smells kinda funny.
Charlis last blog post..My Odd Celebrity Crushes
Loralee! This is Kara from Millie, and let me just tell you, I have spent the last probably 3 days at work just reading your blog! And you are absolutely hilarious! Thanks for giving me so much amusement as I sit here dying in this tiny fishbowl of an office. See you soon!
kj
PS. And don’t worry, you’re not the only one who married a geeky husband — I too share that glorious title.
PPS. …I wonder what the Pickleville would say about your magical boobies?…
karas last blog post..THE CHAOS OF SUMMER!
L: Do you know the Muffin Man?
W: The McMuffin Man?
L: THE MUFFIN MAN!!
ps. I vote for Suebob’s
brits last blog post..Random. Little. Moments….
Can I get some fries with that shake?
Skyzis last blog post..He says I’ll never find it
Lo- OF COURSE you can. I know because I’ve done it, and you should probably step off before I show you exactly HOW I milked that damn cat!
My first instinct was to say something like “I was told this was an original,” or something like that. But I see that there a few permutations of that particular idea already, so I will take a different tack. I must also admit, you do have some HI-larious commenters. Here’s my contribution:
L: Did you see my awesome boobs?
W: Totally.
L: Yeah, they’re pretty sweet.
W: Sweet indeed.
L: Don’t patronize me.
W: I wasn’t patronizing you. I was agreeing with you.
L: You were patronizing me! I know it when I hear it. If you don’t like them, that’s fine. Just be a man and admit it.
W: Fine. I don’t like them. They’re much too… fake.
L: WHAT?!?
W: Yup. Like a 7 dollar bill, sweetie.
L: Wow, Whoorl. You really know how to hurt a girl.
Annnnnnnnnnnddd… Scene.
You see what I did? I didn’t even MENTION the bags. I thought it would be funnier if the bags were almost ancillary to the conversation. Besides, obvious comedy isn’t really my… bag. {Chortle}
Adams last blog post..You better be talking about corned beef, buddy.
I am also voting for Mary Beth’s entry regardless of any rules henceforth.
xo
I clearly don’t need to even try coming up with anything since you already love & respect me. And we’re gonna do it if we ever meet. Yup.
But I AM a good sport, so:
Loralee tries to explain that the shreds and curls in her bag add depth to her style, in an obvious attempt to persuade Whoorl follow suite. Whoorl has one thought: “Bitch, I’M WHOORL. I tell OTHER people what to do with their bags.”
No? Too much? Dang.
“So I says to the clown “Look here Ronald, I know all about your secret sauce.’ Right, right?”
Dude. Jon Deal’s is pretty kick ass. Just sayin’…
Heather B.s last blog post..The Boys Are Back In Town