I’m 33-years-old.
I remember when our family got our first microwave.
My first telephone in my room was a rotary dial.
I saw my first CD disk at a dance in the 9th grade. The student body officers were up on the stage and someone held up a disk. The light hit it and created a crazy amount of refracted light rainbows. I had no idea what it was, but I did have a bit of a Pollyanna moment thinking how cool it would be to string a line of them up on the stage. I wouldn’t own my own CD player until after I graduated from high school in 1992. (I skipped a grade, in case you math heads are going, “Something doesn’t add up here.)
I remember playing Centipede on our Atari and I remember when we bought our first computer. My brother and I had a huge book of computer codes and we would enter lines of code for HOURS on our Commodore 64. At the end of the program we would look at each other anxiously before hitting the “Return” key and pray that we had done all of our coding correctly. If we did, we would be rewarded with some pretty little “Laser show” or spinning object that flashed on the screen for about 15 seconds. If we made even one typing mistake we would have a big, flashing “Error” screen pop up and I would have this overwhelming desire to throw my computer monitor out the window. (Some things have not changed.)
I remember watching the movie, Jumping Jack Flash with Whoopie Goldberg where she saves a stranded British spy trapped in East Germany by “Chatting” with him on her computer at the bank she worked at. I thought the fact that she could type to someone across the world on her computer was AMAZING. I wished so much that it was something I could do.
I didn’t really use a computer for much in school except to use Word Perfect to type and print out papers. Papers that I used books and encyclopedias to research. Because there was no internet when I was in high school. At least not one that was easily accessed by the average Joe.
My freshman year of college, I dated a guy who was a bit of a computer geek (again, some things have not changed) and he introduced me to things like “Telephone” where I could talk to people at other universities and then he showed me the best thing of ALL TIME! “The Internet”.
Until then I had only had the frustration of DOS (Dude. I HATE DOS. I used to get so frustrated in my basics of computers class that I would type “Tree” just because I knew it would make SOMETHING happen!), I dabbled a bit in MUDDS and I perused the “Newsgroups” like, alt.i.hate.barney.die.die.die.
With the internet, I could do ANYTHING and I was hooked. Hooked and I’ve never looked back. I’ve been fond of all the technology advances I’ve seen in my life and despite my definite streak of “TechnoDORK” I think I have adapted rather well. (Except when I try to tinker with my blog template. When I do that I end up shutting down the power grid of the state of Utah and make Dick Cheney’s toilet start flushing randomly. I am super awesome.)
EXCEPT IN ONE AREA.
TEXTING.
I cannot text. I SUCK at it. SUCK! I tell you.
It seems like all my friends and relations take to it with a speediness that confounds me. It seems like I only get a few words henpecked out before another text is on top of me waiting to be opened.
LAZER-FAST TEXTING FRIEND: hey chicka! how r u doing?
ME: Hello! Nice to hear from you. I am fi…
LAZER-FAST TEXTING FRIEND:so do you want to go check out a movie tonight?
ME: Sure, that would be really n-
LAZER-FAST TEXTING FRIEND:we could go catch the new film at the art cinema or hit that chick flick we’ve been wanting to see.
ME: Either of those choices would b-
LAZER-FAST TEXTING FRIEND:art cinema, maybe? yup, i was totally thinking the same thing.
ME: Well, I-
LAZER-FAST TEXTING FRIEND:do you think that the 7 or the 9 would work better for you? i think that the 9 would be best for me because i have a ton of errands to run and then i have dinner to make and the house to clean and a million things to get ready for tomorrow and then of course there is the preparation i have for my work week and oh man am i tired, so i’ll meet you there at 8:45, ok? see you later, toots!
ME: Um…?
And if you think that my lazer-fast texting friends are fast, well you have never seen TEENAGERS. My hell. It’s almost like their thumbs are on fire. I swear that in a few years time we are going to see the equivalent of tennis elbow cropping up amongst the youth of today. I can just see the medical journals: “Texting Thumb”: An epidemic?
Besides the speediness they exhibit, it also takes me a couple of online thesaraus’s and a few hours to decipher just what the HELL their texts SAY.
Example:
OMG i went2 d mal n saw lk a ton of orsum fings 2 buy bt thN i saw my pal jenny or shd i sA my ex pal jenny W my oder bfz guy matt n dey wr lk 100% HH n stuf @ d mal n so thN i wznt sure w@ 2 do so i jst ran N2 d baskin robins n ordrD a 3x <<{:}} cone so dat dey wudnt C me n now i feel lk a big f@ moo 3:-o. tlk2U l8r! BI!
Uh….?
I am just slow as cold tar when it comes to texting, but with my phone anxiety it is also a LIFE SAVER. Texting means you don’t have to stammer out a conversation on the phone and talk over people or laugh too loudly and hysterically out of anxiety. It’s something you can do in loud places that you could never have a conversation or under the dinner table in the middle of a blind date that is sucking the lifeblood out of your soul to the point that you MUST broadcast it to your BFF.
So? In the end I suppose that my texting life will keep going on because dude, it totally is necessary with my phone issues, but I will never be quick or awesome at it. Nope, not at all.
&? im 100% ok W dat. tlk2U l8r!
tjk says:
well llc
i like real words and the human voice…
however i am old.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:58 am
loralee says:
Yes, but you read BLOGS and so that makes you fabulous regardless of age. MWAH!!!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:06 am
sizzle says:
I am so fast and good at texting. I can text without looking! You know what that means? TOO MUCH PRACTICE! You don’t get that good at something without a lot of practice (coughblowjobscough).
sizzles last blog post..Let’s Be Dorky
July 29th, 2008 at 11:13 am
pgoodness says:
You just need a phone that makes texting a bunch easier - like an iPhone or something!!
I love texting - it truly is my preferred method of communication..you know, aside from commenting, blogging and twittering…
pgoodnesss last blog post..summer
July 29th, 2008 at 11:14 am
Karen says:
i swore i’d never comment again but… sometimes a call makes a friend feel like they are not being totally blown off. just sayin’.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:16 am
ali says:
gabe always laughs at me that my text messages are as long as emails…what can i say…i SUCK.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:17 am
Heather B. says:
One of my closest friends is way older than I am so while I’m like “Let’s text!” he is like “WTF?!?!” So I’ve had to school him and he’s gotten the hang of it. So well in fact that now we can text argue in the blink of an eye.
Heather B.s last blog post..In search of a snugglebug
July 29th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas says:
I’m a crackberry addict. But I rely on e-mail more than text. I can only be so cool and then my brain gets in the way.
I knew I was getting old the other day when my kid’s day mommy (daycare teacher) texted me that another kid chomped on my son. I believe it went something like this.
“Heads up. Doodle got bit. He’s fine. Don’t freak.”
Sigh.
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegass last blog post..Oh my Godded!
July 29th, 2008 at 11:25 am
Sharon says:
I totally suck at texting, but I agree with you - it’s nice to do that instead of making an ass out of myself while talking. I’m as slow as molasses, though. I refuse to use improper grammar, so it takes me a long time.
I got one of those crazy misspelled texts once, and ended up calling and asking them to tell me what the hell it said, because I couldn’t understand a word of it. :)
Sharons last blog post..I’m drained
July 29th, 2008 at 11:28 am
bejewell says:
OMG Llee u r so gr8, LOL, LMFAO, TTFN
bejewells last blog post..I Am A Serial Killer
July 29th, 2008 at 11:40 am
Bridge says:
It’s all about the PDA phone babe. The one with a real keyboard… Before that I never texted. I hated it.
Now that I know it irritates the hell out of you I will try not to text 100mph. Either that or I’ll TRY to bug you by sending a million texts really quickly.
/laughs like a maniac
Bridges last blog post..Bridge’s progress…
July 29th, 2008 at 11:43 am
HeatherPride says:
have….never…..texted…..
guess i win the lame blogger of the day award huh!
HeatherPrides last blog post..Old Dope Mom
July 29th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Mary Beth says:
I google abbreviations all the time cause I have no idea what people are saying. Then I feel old. I text rarely but I’m with pgoodness - yet another reason to get an iPhone - better texting:)
I have to figure out how to send tweets from my phone cause I keep thinking of things to tweet when I’m away from my computer.
July 29th, 2008 at 11:43 am
Britt says:
cant txt 2 save my lfe :)
ovr n out
(Am I supposed to use punctuation? How can they stand being so grammatically incorrect?)
Britts last blog post..Add this to the list of things I’ve peed on
July 29th, 2008 at 11:44 am
Chris says:
I’m not a texter either. Can’t stand it. My husband will text “i love u”. I call him and say, “Pick up the frickin phone - that just cost a dime!”
You seem to hold your own though Loralee - I’m impressed with your ability to recreate the convo’s you did.
Clap, clap, clap…
Chriss last blog post..Top Five Quotes on THIS Day (I reserve the right to change my mind at any time, on any day.)
July 29th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
Heather @ Desperately Seeking Sanity says:
As a youth leader at my church, texting is inevitable. And like you, I sucked. I didn’t get it, I couldn’t do it, and the kids would laugh and joke with me about it.
And then it happened. I got a phone with a QWERTY keyboard. I will never have a phone without a QWERTY keyboard as long as I have to text… ever. Because now, I have lighting fast fingers when it comes to texting and I feel like I’m somewhat cool again with the teens.
July 29th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Marilyn says:
I have the same problem because I love to not have to talk to ppl but am a S-L-O-W ass texter.
Also, I have the same recollections as you. I think my family was the last in the entire city to have a microwave. And a VCR. I used to MUDD like a demon and used PINE to read email in those college days. Shoot, I would get on “talkers” to talk to my college buddies across the country. OMG. I’m a dinosaur.
Marilyns last blog post..I think it caught up with me
July 29th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
zeghsy says:
oooh! i <3 texting. it’s my favorite. i’ve dated guys for months, where we’ve literally had 4 phone conversations, but we text all day long. oops!
zeghsys last blog post..OW!
July 29th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Sra says:
I am so on the same page as you. Exactly.
Sras last blog post..IP limits yield cheap BC
July 29th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
schmutzie says:
I just got my new, first-ever cell phone hooked up with Twitter, and my thumbs went “Dude, this is like, so hard”. I think it’s all that pot I smoked in my early twenties.
schmutzies last blog post..50×365 #312: Mrs. Knudson
July 29th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Alice says:
txtspeak gives me hives.
Alices last blog post..good mood: officially over
July 29th, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Heather Lessiter says:
We’re the same age, so I can totally relate. My nieces are the super fast texters. I’m not too bad at it, but I’ve decided they are better at it because they have cool new phones that have actual keyboards- well, microscopic ones. I have a fogey phone in which I have to hit each key 45 times to get the correct letter I want. And predictive text? I HATE IT! Who invented it and what kind of word is hih?
Heather Lessiters last blog post..My Heart is Breaking
July 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Slick says:
Too funny…
I suggest a phone with Qwerty board….makes it so much easier to text with!
Slicks last blog post..Too Much Cleavage….
July 29th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
4 says:
I text in much the same style as you do. When Daughter was in Africa, the school demanded that all students carry cell phones with SMS (texting) capabilities- security reasons. She has mastered it.
I text long enough to say…r u hm 4 dnnr? or i m almst thr. meet me outsd. or the rarely used but saved in my drafts to copy/paste into a new message….WHR the HELL R U. GT HM NOW!
4s last blog post..Someday love will bring you back…..
July 29th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Robin says:
Texting got soooo much easier when I got my iPhone because the keypad is the same as a typewriter. You can just use your thumbs to text. I hated it before and only used it when my boys’ wouldn’t answer their phones. My fave text to them:
Call me now or I will smash your cell with a hammer.
Works every time.
Robins last blog post..Welcome Back Steve…Otherwise titled Why I Hate Steve
July 29th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Old Broad says:
Hi. My name is Deb… and I’m a text addict.
My husband has come to loathe my texting.
I wasn’t always this bad, but when I got my phone with the QWERTY board… my texting became an addiction.
Old Broads last blog post..JumbieQueen: @redneckmommy Did anyone give you any kind of time line? Good Gawd… it is so rude of them to make a redneckmommy wait like this!
July 29th, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Melly says:
I’m pretty slow at it too.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
Doug says:
LL, you’ve got about 5 years on me, but we’ve pratically twins. We had a B&W TV until 1993, and my first computer was a used Vic-20 in 1990. Y’know, the one you plugged cartridges into the back off, came with a casette deck to record programs, plugged into the back of your tv, and came with the exact same programming book. It had one game, and it was a bugdeting one, so maybe that’s why I turned out to be such a dork. Not “the” dork, because somebody else already has that title. I also FLOVEd Taz on the Atari 2600.
Anyway, texting is still pretty much a mystery to me. Last summer I tried to text Joanna from my friend Chantal’s phone. I couldn’t figure out how to make spaces or anything so the entire0sentence0went0like0this. After I got my own short-lived cell phone (now, I’m not bitter that it broke a few weeks after I got it and the company would not replace it - not at all!), I got a little better at texting, but T9 is still a mystery to me.
I was listening to the radio the other day and they had this whole segment on cell-phone rejectors. Canada has the lowest penetration of cell phone users in the developed world, most of which is because it’s extremely pricey up here. But a good portion of the callers were these “rejectors” and I honestly think I’m becoming one of them. I just don’t want to be reached at certain times. Call me when I’m home. I still haven’t figured out how to check my voice-mail yet, but when I eventually do, I’ll call you back.
Dougs last blog post..Things to appreciate…
July 29th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
Queen of Shake Shake says:
I hate to text. Hate it! But maybe if I had a super cool phone with a keyboard, I’d like it. But then I’d have to learn that second language and I barely no rejular inglish as it is.
Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..T-Minus 13 Days and Counting
July 29th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Domestic Extraordinaire says:
I have just started texting. My teenager laughs at me because I try to do the “real” words not that phonetic crap most of them do. So she set my old phone to T9, where you just push a button once and based on the number sequence comes up with the words for you to use. I have the same type thing on my new phone, but I am not sure what it is called. Something to think about.
Domestic Extraordinaires last blog post..Monday’s Musings
July 29th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
SparklieSunShine says:
I feel you. I am 24 and I don’t text. Sometimes trying to decipher that lingo give me total headaches. Ugg!
SparklieSunShines last blog post..Twenty-Four Got Off To A Good Start
July 29th, 2008 at 5:19 pm
Rachael says:
I HATE talking on the phone. I love e-mail because it lets me make entire plans without talking on the phone. So texting little questions etc. is awesome to me. I prefer it to those awkard conversations. I will not EVER understand how teens can send 5000 in a day though. WTH are they even talking about?
Rachaels last blog post..Ten Years Have Made a Huge Difference, and None at All
July 29th, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Jessica says:
Um, hello. Do you not remember when you text-ed (is that a word?) me on your way to meet me at Schlotzkeys (sp?) and all I could type back was “YMG”?
You were my first text, and my last. I cannot understand how to do it, and I AM NOT GOING TO LEARN IF I CAN HELP IT.
July 29th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
loralee says:
OMG! JESSICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Runs around in rabid circles of joy, passes out and dies.)
I totally, TOTALLY was going to put that one in, but then I thought, “Yes, because what Jessica needs right now with all the pregnancy puking is the world to know that I was her first text a year ago!”
Plus, the whole reason I texted you in the first place was my dang phone anxiety.
Ok, now that I sound like THE DORK THAT I AM, I shall stop slobbering all over you.
HUGS, HEARTS, PINK PUFFY BON BONS THAT DON’T MAKE YOU THROW UP!!!!!!
(Have you all noticed that I freaking love this woman?)
July 29th, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for children says:
Texting isn’t even activated on my phone. I wouldn’t even know HOW to text.
*grunt*Me no know text messages. Have to gather food*grunt*
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..Means to an end
July 29th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Jennifer A. says:
I text, but only because that’s the only way I get to talk to hubby most days at work.
Jennifer A.s last blog post..Jennifer Answers Your Questions!
July 29th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Jack says:
I am 39 and have turned into a texting machine. It is kind of a sad comment, really.
Jacks last blog post..And Los Angeles Was Not Consumed- The Earthquake
July 29th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
slynnro says:
I wonder what exactly the age cut off is for it being acceptable to be incapable of texting. I am 27 and I think I should probably be better.
slynnros last blog post..Girl meets centipede. Hilarity ensues.
July 29th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
grandmamarie says:
Idon’t get texting at all. When Teeny texts me, I call her back. It kind of makes her mad, but isn’t that motherhood’s all about?
I enjoyed your history of technodorkdom. Eerily similar to mine, except I’m the ancient of days, don’t you know. When our kids complain about our “slow” internet service or whatever, Piano Man loves to tell them how, when he was in college, he had to sit in the computer lab for hours at a time, creating punch cards which he then had to carry across campus, through the snow, uphill both ways,to drop them off at the building with the mainframe, then trudge back across campus, through the snow, uphill both ways to get the printout, only to find out he had made an error and therefore the whole thing was shot! Now there’s some technodork history for ya!
July 29th, 2008 at 10:32 pm
Dawn says:
MUDS - hee - me too. I love my dorky friend!(Now I have to wonder if we knew of each other)
Dawns last blog post..To Whom it May Concern
July 29th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Angella says:
I am THE SAME! I have only texted a couple of times. I also live outside of cell range, so there’s that too…
Angellas last blog post..Wait. Where Was I?
July 30th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Charli says:
I frequently have to translate texts for Jeremy. He is catching on now and can send them faster than I can I am sure! I don’t have text in my cell plan so it costs me to do it- thus, I don’t often. My teenage sisters are like black belts in texting. It seems their thumbs aren’t connected to their hands in the same way we older folks thumbs are.
Charlis last blog post..The Preschool Decision
July 30th, 2008 at 8:06 am
Randi says:
I don’t have a cell phone (no cell service - damn Vermont!), so I’ve never really had to text, but I can see where it would be really annoying!!
I was shocked enough when my 13 year old cousin looked at me the other day and said, “OMG, that is so hilarious! LOL!”
Out.Loud.
Teenagers have gone from just writing it to actually speaking it.
God help us all. ;)
July 30th, 2008 at 11:25 am
jess says:
im fst n awsme at txtng. and im humble. i wuz good b4 the qwerty smartphone but im even better now
xoxo
jesss last blog post..Al and Kal-Al
July 30th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
Nashville Photographer says:
I used to hate texting until my friend showed me t9. I’m pretty much a texting ninja now.
Nashville Photographers last blog post..New Camera, New Portfolio Tease, and July in a Nutshell
July 31st, 2008 at 4:14 pm
crunchy carpets says:
Laughing my Scottish ARSE off…
The other day at the movies I was ALL ALONE while husband went to find the people we were meeting there.
EVERYONE was texting around me…mostly to kill time.
I cannot. Nor do I have anyone to text.
Sigh
July 31st, 2008 at 4:22 pm
TC says:
Haha. I just wrote a post the other day about how my Dad texts like a teenage girl. It cracks me up. :)
I text and I consider myself to be decent at it. But some people see destined to make me look bad at it. He’s one of those people.
TCs last blog post..Hurtful compliments
August 1st, 2008 at 8:00 am
magpie says:
Yup - i couldn’t do it until i got an iPhone. Awesome.
magpies last blog post..A Little Verklempt
August 2nd, 2008 at 7:06 pm
JG says:
I have no idea how people texted before the little two-thumb keyboards. I realize some people are still keepin’ it real like that, but it would have taken me a century, especially with my uncompromising grammatical standards.
The best use of text is when you are at a table in a restaurant and someone else is at another table in a restaurant and you would still like to talk to them. Or maybe that’s just me.
August 3rd, 2008 at 7:09 pm
loralee says:
JG: That was like, the best text EVER.
August 4th, 2008 at 2:00 am