*Edited to include a little slice of humble pie. Just in cased you still thought I was a bit too big for my britches after reading this.
Today’s topic: Jealousy in the blogosphere.
(Or envy, feeling left out, whatever emotion you want to add to it. I think it all falls under the same umbrella, I just chose jealousy because who didn’t love that song by The Gin Blossoms?)
I am not the first to write about this. I’m not the second, tenth or probably even the eleventyhundredth to type out my thoughts and feelings about blogging jealousy. I am also pretty damn sure that many people have written about it far more eloquently than I am about to.
Yesterday, I posted a link that I found via Megan the Beautiful (Otherwise known as Velveteen Mind). It really resonated with me because I could have written a lot of it myself. I found myself going back to check the comments (something I do not do very often simply because of time) because I wanted to see what other people had to say.
Then, I got a comment on this blog on my “Postsecret-esque” post that allowed anonymous comments in reference to the link. (And? I am so sorry I left that post up so long. My internet died for a couple of days and then it was the holidays. Still, holy cow you all are totally fascinating. It’s an illustration that we are all walking around with baggage that is unseen by most of the world. )
This comment was left by what I am assuming is a regular reader and I really wanted to address it because I have wanted to talk about blogging envy for some time and now seems as good a time as any.
Anonymous says:
I read your sidebar and the post that it was linked to and I had to comment here.I’m using a cloaker just to make sure you really don’t know who I am.
I hope this doesn’t come off as mean, but I am eaten alive by jealousy of your blog and other big bloggers. You have so many friends and so much traffic and I even though I check your blog almost obsessively, I also have so much envy that I am beginning to think it is unhealthy.
I try to comment on blogs and still only have a reader or two. You’ve never commented on my blog and while I understand that you have a lot going on, I still get hurt, but then I feel like a pouty kid on the school bus and am ashamed. I’m actually crying here. How stupid is that?
It seems like so many people I read have success after success while I try but seem to fail. I expect it from some of the snarkier bloggers. For instance, I’ve been trying to get Black Hockey Jesus to follow me on Twitter or his blog but I sort of expect the rejection there.
I can’t even seem to get the attention of the nice bloggers.
You aren’t the only one that I am talking about, but you are the place where I can vent this anonymously and get it off of my chest.
I really admire you and think that your blog is wonderful. I hope that this didn’t come off as too mean. I am just having a hard day.
Dear Anon, I wish you would email me privately. I would love to talk to you at length because I have been right where you are. No, this didn’t hurt my feelings at all. Don’t be afraid that I think you’re “Mean”. I don’t. I did something similar to my beloved Kerflop and am still amazed that she didn’t think I was the world’s biggest jerk. She was understanding about my naivety and was, and still is, all kinds of awesome.
There are a few salient points that I would like to talk about, if you don’t mind.
Having traffic doesn’t make feelings of inadequacy magically disappear.
I doubt that there are many bloggers out there that would label themselves as “Popular” and I certainly don’t classify myself as that. I AM very aware that I have awesome and loyal readers and commenters AND I AM SO DAMN GRATEFUL FOR IT LIKE YOU CANNOT BELIEVE, but it doesn’t mean that I am not critical about myself. On those down days when I over-analyze everything I start writing “The List” of things that are negative.
Wanna peek inside my feelings of inadequacy? Here you go:
I have never been asked to review one product, go on one paid trip, drive a car around, write for any kind of blog/newsgroup/blogging magazine or speak about blogging at any formal blogging function save the one where I was a total asshat and ended up saying someone was pretty much the equivilent of a dirty, urinal whore. (Good thing that just made me go up in her estimation, huh?) I am not a channel editor, award winner, nor do I even consider myself a good writer. I just count myself blessed that I have a quirky enough life/personality to have the following that I do because I use CAPS! EMOTICONS!! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! And as my English major friends will attest, very inadequate grammar skills.
Book deals, Camp Baby, Feedburner buttons with subscriber numbers, Technorati rankings, television interviews, write ups in major newspapers, coveted guest postings, Stumble reviews, Twitter followers, convention speaking, and howmuchisyourblogfreakingworth, I could go on and on and ON about the things that I think I am inadequate at or have been excluded from that good friends have been privileged to enjoy. And it stings and sucks sometimes. I am so genuinely excited and thrilled because all of them truly deserve it, but (again) I am human and want to participate, too.
Last year when everyone was preparing to go to BlogHer 2007? Even though I was happy for those going I also wanted to make badges that said, “I’m NOT going to BlogHer 2007 and you all can just BITE ME!”
I hated that I wasn’t going and hated how jealous I felt of those who jetted off to Chicago. So, I made a plan. I worked and saved. I reached out to people that were going. I joined the BlogHer Network and have done everything I can to prepare. I am proud that I am going and it is a dream come true for me so I am writing about it. I know that this will probably hurt some that feel how I did last year, but I would hope that they would also be understanding about how hard I have worked to go and let me be excited and write about it. I wish I could take you all with me (although that would probably be uncomfortable for my very awesome roommates.)
Most bloggers have many more failures than successes. Also, don’t take it for granted that awesome things just “Happen” to bloggers. You may not know the full story.
I fail much more than I succeed. Look at the above section, for Pete’s sake. Not that I haven’t had some successes with blogging, I have. I would be sad if I hadn’t because I invest a crapload of time and energy into it.
I was written about in my local paper (No CNN or New York Times for certain) for making a blatant ripoff of Matt Harding’s Dancing Man video. I made an ass out of myself by dancing around Cache Valley. Weirdly, people loved it. Yes, I am the world’s WORST DANCER and yes, I misspelled “Blatant” in the opening credits. Awesome.
One awesome bloggity pal asked me to guest post in her stead (STILL one of my favorites, ever) and I’m listed on Alltop. Guess what, though? I wrote and asked to be considered. I wasn’t just noticed and thought the world of and included. I wish that was the case (and it was for MANY) but nope. Not me.
I wasn’t even formally invited to the Alltop/Kirtsy party being hosted during BlogHer and I’m on the freaking Alltop list! It’s embarrassing to admit but it’s the truth. I could have gotten hurt by it, but I just wrote and asked if I could crash and they were very lovely and said everyone was invited, so it is all good. I am going to go and have a wonderful time.
I get rejected all the time. Pointing to a specific example listed in the anonymous comment, Black Hockey Jesus does not reciprocate my following on Twitter, either. There could be loads of reasons for it and I could drive myself crazy at wondering why, so I just don’t. However, if you call him a little bitch he will apparently adore you, so you may want to give that a try. Heh. (Untwist the knickers, people. I’m quoting him.)
Bloggers are human. (Even the really popular ones.)
Everyone has the same 24 hours in a day to work with. Everyone has varying levels of time that they can put into blogging and despite the fact that you may read every syllable that a blogger publishes or even email them or tweet them to death, you can’t know the how’s or why’s that go into why or why not someone does or does not read you or comment on your blog.
I used to read and comment on the blogs of everyone who commented on Looney Tunes because at the time I was capable of managing it. I am sad that is no longer the case. I may and I may not read you. I can’t read everyone as much as I GENUINELY would love to, even if it was just to make everyone feel as happy as I do when someone reads me.
I think that I am like a lot of people who blog. I have different, mostly unknown, reasons why I read the blogs that I do. I also change them frequently and lurk much, much more than I used to. In fact, I am considering dumping the whole Google reader thing all together and starting off fresh. I don’t know. I have been thinking and pondering blogging balance and how to achieve it for a long time. I am not alone in this.
So much of it is just an issue of time. Truly. I have had to cut way back on my online stuff to tend to in my real life stuff. I am sorry if you feel neglected and I need to stress that I try my best. I am so bad at so many things like emails, comment response and even thanking people for the lovely things that they do and send me. Boo on me! Truly, though…I don’t mean to hurt anyone.
Every blogger out there was a “Newbie” once.
Not having readers can suck a duck. Some people really are fine with it and either turn off comments or just find an inner peace that they write for themselves. (I am not one of those people.) However, with some exceptions, pretty much all bloggers start at the same place. Where you have no readers except for a handful of people that you have to force/bribe/promise your firstborn to to get them to read your blog. I went months and months with my sister Linny and faithful friend, Karen as my only readers and commenters. Hell, even Dooce started out talking about a carton of Carnation milk and I am pretty sure that no one was clamoring to read THAT post when she hit the publish button.
It’s human to want to be noticed by people you admire.
I am not going to lie and pretend that I am not thrilled to my very tip tippie toes when a blogger I admire that has a big following actually notices that I exist. I wish that I could say that I am immune to it but I would totally be lying due to the fact that just this morning I ran in circles like a rabid dog on meth screeching, “She likes me! She likes me!!” when a huge blogger that I adore and thought maybe, MAYBE might have my name ring a bell when I tackled her at BlogHer and that want to totally make out with on a regular basis wrote me an email telling me that she loves my blog despite just being a lurker.
(She obviously doesn’t mind humungo run-on sentences and over abundant use of parenthesis.)
I realize this may look like bragging and I don’t mean it to be. I would not mention it at all except to illustrate the point that I can totally be a star-struck DORK when it comes to people whose work I admire. DON’T YOU ALL REMEMBER WHEN I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY?????? I’m human, so shoot me.
All bloggers are not equal, despite what the fairytale says. You may never get to be one of the A-listers. And to survive and keep blogging you have to be ok with this to some degree.
The words and writings of some bloggers carry more weight in the blogosphere. That is just reality, friends. It doesn’t mean that as a person they are worth more than others, but I can’t make the blogging world into a Marxist fairytale where all bloggers have the same status.
There may not be a “CLUB” but there are bloggers that are DAMN AWESOME and they have buttloads of people who read them that think the same thing. To pretend that there are not “A-listers” out there is as stupid as thinking that they are all condesending writers that are incapable of paying attention to people that don’t have equal readerships. (Not to say that it doesn’t ever happen.)
There are ALSO some bigger blogs that are popular and I really have no idea WHY or HOW that happens. Hell, NO I am not going to link to them. For one, obviously some people love reading their stuff and I don’t want to insult someone’s taste and two, I do not have an internet-drama DEATH WISH.
This is just a reality that everyone has to come to grips with and to find a way to deal with it in their own way or you will make yourself miserable.
It will probably never be enough. At least some of the time.
Humans are not meant to be stagnant-very few can stay in one place without continuing to reach or strive to other levels. Blogging is no exception. If you have a 100 readers, at some point you will probably want 200. If you get 20 comments on a post you will aim to get 50. This is not a bad thing. Having goals is good. It makes people grow and succeed.
Like most things, just try to keep it in check because you also want to be happy where you are and have fun.
There is downside to popularity.
Your mother was right about that. With more traffic and exposure comes, well…More traffic and exposure. You have more obligations, more people to care about, to worry over, to email, to read, more haters, trolls, and people who can be so fugly and suckass in their comments it would make your eyes bleed and your skin fall off from the scathiness of them.
Your words can be mocked and patronized. You can make people so damn angry over the slightest comment or opinion. It can get ugly to the point that you are scared to write ANYTHING and agonize before hitting the publish button for fear of who you will piss off.
The bigger you are, the more weight your words carry and the ramifications of an opinion and how you state them can be effing HUGE. (NOPE. Not specifically TOUCHING THAT ONE. Enough has been said already eleventyBILLION times over.)
Friends and family can get hurt or irritated or angry and sometimes it can get to the point that you don’t recognize who you are writing about because you feel like you can’t write about ANYTHING for fear of fallout.
It isn’t fun. No, not at all.
Luckily, this isn’t constant and most people learn to suck it up and deal and create boundaries pretty damn fast about what they are comfortable writing about.
Still, be careful what you wish for.
At some point, Loralee will run out of finger strength,lose her balance and fall off the soap box, or just get to the damn point and finish this ass-long post, already.
The point of all this VERY LONG rambling is that we are all in this together and you aren’t alone. Everyone has jealousy. It is to what level you allow it to reach and what you do with it that matters. Just don’t let it get out of hand.Take action, do what you can to remedy the situation, talk to people about it! If you are having jealousy to the point of it really causing problems, that sucks. Mainly for you, because that is the person it will ultimately hurt the most.
“The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves.” -William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693.
P.S. No matter how hard you try or want them to? Some people just AIN’T GONNA LIKE YOU. Sorry, but again, a reality you have to face. Just try to realize that is humanity and appreciate and love on the people that think the sun shines out of your ass, or if worse come to worse-that can tolerate speaking to you in five minute increments.
P.P.S. If none of the above advice works, just exclaim to the internet that you have magical boobies. Totally worked for me.
*In conjunction with today’s post on blogging jealousy, there is nothing quite like having your Technorati ranking plummet almost 200 points in ONE DAY.
Humble pie, indeed.
Ouch.
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
You can’t let what other bloggers think of you matter.
Ah, that’s bullshit. I always care. I care because I want everyone else to care. I’m building a big, weird family here.
I feel the same way (Emphasis on the weird, and I like it that way.)
Sigh. It is always much easier said than done, isn’t it?
I’ve just finished reading (after all the back and forth with the links), and what you write doesn’t just apply to bloggers. It applies to life. I don’t blog, I just read, but you are so spot on with what you’ve written.
Hey, why aren’t you in bed? It’s only 7.55pm here (Aust), but man it’s early over there!
Because I am freaking insane.
Seriously, though…I tend to suffer from insomnia. Not fun.
well…i agree with pretty much everything you said. i have felt a little of the jealousy, but it has helped being over here. i know i could join all the clubs that help with site traffic, but i don’t think i should. we work for a conservative company and i know that at least three of the other employees reads my blog. one girl even blog surfs through my commenters. she has already asked about some people and some comments i’ve left on others sites. i figured at this point the best thing for me is to just keep doing what i am doing and let what happens happen. when i get back to the states in november i wonder how i will feel. at that point i can actually link people i don’t know without worrying about what people here say about me. and normally i wouldn’t worry about that…just don’t want to lose our job which is totally possible if i’m not careful. part of me wants to be liked, but i also have that stubborn part that says if someone doesn’t like me then they are just missing out. i can’t please everyone. i need to make sure i am happy with what i am doing.
ok…long enough…
natalies last blog post..Not an Espy, not an Emmy, not an Oscar…
I prefer the great quality of my comments over quantity. I am so glad you came up with the Peep of the Week award, because they really get their game on to win it. When I started blogging last November, I had 300 hits for the entire month. Twas a tad lonely at first, but I commented on everyone’s blog who commented on mine, and have watched their own readerships increase.
Most of my original readers came from a link from Oh My Stinking Heck. And? You will get some bloggers visit you if you link to them in a post.
witchypoos last blog post..Skinny Bitch Gets Felt Up
I can’t wait to see you in SF. Seriously.
Kimberlys last blog post..Confessions
great post! not going to blogHer this year, and really wish I was. next year right?
I feel somewhat the way anon feels, wish I had more readers, commenter’s, and blogging opportunities. But at the end of the day, I have to store up my treasures here at home with my family, friends and local community. I anyone wants to read about my boring life, well that’s just gravy.
“There are ALSO some bigger blogs that are popular and I really have no idea WHY or HOW that happens. Hell, NO I am not going to link to them.”
Crap! Link to ‘em! Link to ‘em! Link to ‘em! hahaha.
I love this post on so many levels. I relate so well to all the stuff about geting started and frustrated and hoping for more. I am not going to BlogHer this year but will do everything in my power to get there next year because my whole body is starting to turn a little green.
The other thing that is hard about this whole topic is that you can’t really discuss it with real outside the blogging world friends because no one understands this out there. It is hard to bring it up on blogs and social media because it sounds like whining, bitching, etc. So. Let me just say thanks for writing this.
HRHs last blog post..Monday Potluck: back to normal?
Good god woman, you MUST be back on Diet Coke, I can’t even string together a sentence at 3 in the morning and you are writing a dissertation.
Magical Boobies – everything boils down to boobies, and magical boobies appeal to just about every demographic, especially the bewitched.
Davies last blog post..IT Rules!
Good god woman, you MUST be back on Diet Coke, I can’t even string together a sentence at 3 in the morning and you are writing a dissertation.
Magical Boobies – everything boils down to boobies, and “magical boobies” appeal to just about every demographic, especially the bewitched.
Davies last blog post..IT Rules!
I get blogger envy sometimes, and I know that it’s so stupid! I just can’t help it. But what it comes down to a lot of the time, is that you have to read blogs to get readers of your own and, being a SAHM, all the time I spend reading blogs is time I spend ignoring my child. Not good. So I stick to reading blogs that provide me with a genuine friendship. Maybe that’s a little selfish, but I like “intimate” bloggers, and that (combined with my very rated G content) is what (I think) keeps me from blog fame (and probably bad writing but I’d rather write poorly and have no one care than have the demand for entertainment hovering over me like a dark cloud).
And even though you seem to have masses of readers, you have always been a gracious commenter on my worthless, little blog, and you have made me feel special. Big fluffy pink heart!
Britts last blog post..The Real Reason
Oh how I ADORE this post, Loralee. It’s SO well stated and you covered the whole topic very well.
I remember when I first started and my day was completely made or broken by the number of comments I received or didn’t receive.
Now that I’ve been blogging for a year and a half, I don’t necessarily let traffic and comment numbers determine how good my day is going to be. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t get my feelings hurt when a popular blogger doesn’t follow me on twitter or a popular blogger has NEVER commented at my blog. Of course I still get a little (or sometimes A LOT) jealous. I think it’s human nature.
I DID get an opportunity for a camera recently as a result of my blog, but that was only after I begged and pleaded like fool. I’ve never been offered anything like a trip.
I struggle with how to balance writing, reading blogs that I adore, discovering new blogs, and returning comments (especially from new readers.) There are only so many hours in a day, like you said. I WANT to people to know how much I adore each of them and appreciate their comments and visits. Even though I don’t OWE anyone ANYTHING, I wish I could reciprocate more.
Also, I had to ask to be included on Alltop, too.
Jennifer, Playgroups are no place for childrens last blog post..Happy Fourth of July and a fireworks warning
1. Loved this post, love you.
2. Can I be seriously creeped out that my post scheduled for today is called, “My Magical Boobies” and I started last week?!
Get out of my brain!!!!
P.S. – Don’t worry I had already credited you via a link to that same freaking post. Still I’m spooked.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..Nothing Says Summer Like Grass! (at least nothing I can think of)
Well said. I agree, I have moments where I think, “I’ve been doing this blogging stuff since 2001 – why am I not rich or being offered tons of free stuff because of the site?” But I have to admit, I do take a certain level of comfort in knowing that I don’t have masses of people who decide they need to send me hurtful words just because.
And I would love to help you in the plan to bring everyone to BlogHer, but I agree that our room would be WAY TOO CROWDED then!
Jill – GlossyVeneers last blog post..Happy 4th!
Totally true- all of it. I concur! I remember when I had two people commenting- and they were my ex and my mom. Now I can barely keep up but I am not complaining. I’m just wondering where the hell they all came from and how I got so lucky? It only took three years…
What’s interesting to me is the backlash when you start to get a lot of comments. Regular readers seem to feel like they are no longer “necessary” or that you don’t “need” their comment. I hate hearing that because for me it isn’t about the number of comments but about the connection I have with my audience. I never thought it would matter so much, the people who read me, but it does. I care about them and am touched that they take the time to read what I have to say.
sizzles last blog post..Where I Call “Home”
Posted! As if you really want to hear about my boobs, but hey I read about yours. Haha.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..My Magical Boobies
Loralee, I cannot ever post about my magical boobies because 1) I do not have magical boobies and 2) I dislike my boobies in general. It would be a lie, and I cannot tell a (big) lie like that. Maybe I could post about my dislike for boobies, but then I’d just be copying you, and that also seems wrong.
Any other advice?? : )
Camilles last blog post..I’m Havin’ Fun. {So Sue Me.}
You must not have heard..
the ONLY one with magical boobies..
is me!
p.s. i don’t get blogger envy, because I don’t have a blog.
I have performance anxiety. :op
It wasn’t rambly; it was perfect. I am standing up and applauding as soon as I’m done typing this.
I hear a lot of people hit on this subject, and most of them come at it from the Suck It Up angle, which, honestly, doesn’t really help the intended audience much. You, however, nailed this shit.
Didn’t we all feel like this at some point? I am constantly telling people that it took me 2 1.2 years of 5 people reading my blog to get a 6th person to read it. This stuff takes SO MUCH time. It’s building relationships, you know? I mean, how long did it take me to grow the balls to leave you a comment? Like, 6 months or something.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for writing a thoughtful post on this. You really did a fabulous job, sister.
Mr Ladys last blog post..Weekly Last Place All Star Team Winners
We went to the neighboring town’s 4th of July parade. Remember the Meat Store I took you to? They had a weiner-mobile and were handing out meat sticks instead of candy.
See? Now you’re jealous of me.
Ha ha!
Really – great post!
Gretchens last blog post..Happy Birthday Baby Girl!
I checked out The Bean’s blog as well. And I totally concur with both of you. I strive to be a more “popular” blogger, but simply don’t have the time/energy/resources/skillz to get there. So I’ll settle for mediocrity. Being average rules!
In the Trenches of Mommyhoods last blog post..A Marriage Story
Yeah. Pretty much exactly that.
And you know what? I’ve asked for everything I’ve gotten too. Review products? ASKED FOR. Alltop? ASKED FOR. Speaking gig at BlogHer? ASKED FOR. I think I’m pretty much the blog equivalent of that annoying underclassmen who follows the seniors around asking to lick their boots PUHLEASE??
I will never be an a-list blogger. And I’m pretty okay with that. A couple years ago, I would have said that I’m not. But I’ve made my peace.
FWIW, I feel like you, Loralee, are far superior to me. You have more readers, commenters and plain awesomeness than I do. That’s fine. :) I can give you a hug at BlogHer and then come back to my blog and go OMG! I just hugged LORALEE! :)
That’s gonna be so much fun.
Marilyns last blog post..Two Years Already
Natalie: I have sympathy here. I have often held my tongue because of my husband’s opinions and his employment. It will be totally interesting how things go when you get to the states. I can see how you can feel a little removed over there.
witchypoo: I LOVE my commenters. Especially the ones who just ZING and make me laugh and cry. You and June Cleaver Nirvana have done so much better at the peep thing than me, the creator! I need to do it more often. Still, I am glad that the idea originated at all because commenters are worth their weight in PLATINUM.
Kimberly: The feeling is OH, so mutual. Damn. I realized when I woke up I forgot that I was nominated for a perfect post by Casey once. Which was a huge deal as A: It was awesome and B: I met YOU!!! YAY!!!
DesignHerMamma: That’s a good attitude to have. I do see my blog in some ways as an extension of myself because it is about me and my life, but it can be hard to keep it all in check and balance.
HRH: NO FREAKING WAY! :) There has been enough internet drama the last week to last for EONS AND EONS. (It IS tempting, though.)
And no. Most people that don’t blog do not get it and do not care to get it. They just let me do my thing, which is good but sometimes I wish they understood. But, that is what bloggity friends are for, right??
Davie:OH, YES. Yes, I am. Sigh.
Britt: Honestly, I really like your blog. I’m glad I clicked over when Isobel linked to you. There is a niche for g-rated bloggers. It’s true, though…with more traffic you would lose the intimate feeling and that is honestly something that I miss. It’s a trade-off.
And THANK you for the compliment. It made my day. Pink puffy hearts right back. (And your blog isn’t worthless)
Jennifer: Besides the fact that you’re all kinds of awesome, I get bubblies when you pipe up because I know how swamped you are, too. I knew that a lot of this post would make sense to you.
I LOVE that you cop to asking to be on Alltop and begging for a camera (Which I thought was awesome when it was going on, btw). While it does “Just happen” to many bloggers, there are a lot of us who have to make our opportunities happen.
I wish more bloggers would be blunt about it, actually. So many people assume that these good things just fall into the laps of bloggers and it makes them feel inadequate. Now, you still had to cut the mustard at Alltop and so did I but it didn’t magically appear.
The balance, OMG THE BALANCE. I was just talking to our mutual good friend, Heather “The Queen” about this. It’s just so damn hard. And honestly? It isn’t something that you can really tell people. They have to get to the point where they have too much on their plate before they get it and go, “Oh, NOW I know that you weren’t meaning to be a non-responsive jerk. Your brain was just about to explode with everything you have to do!”
I have totally been there. On BOTH sides.
Sparklie:Oh, I have always adored you. I thought it was so cute that you read all the mom blogs and then the whole thing with you and the Mrs. just killed me for you both. Plus, you have a cute voice on the phone! I love that you posted about your magical boobies. I will read it as soon as I can. ;)
Jill: Well, I have always liked your blog. I have some lovely reads because of you and hello? I cannot wait to room with you.
Now all I need to do is figure out how to get one of RetroBakery’s cupcakes and I will be totally happy. Le sigh…
Sizzle: You are sooooooo much better about your comments than I am. I think you have replied to every damn one of mine. It’s taken me almost three years to get the readership that I have, too.
I hear you about the numbers vs. the relationship thing. I have heard the ‘I was thinking about commenting but you already had so many’. I can respect that. Not wanting to just sound like an echo, but I miss specific readers who used to speak up. I know that they still lurk and it’s fine that they stay quiet but they are crazy if they think they don’t matter and aren’t noticeably missed.
Camille: DUDE, WRITE ABOUT YOUR BOOBS. First, I love when what I write inspires someone else. Second, it’s not like I have a corner on the market as far as boobies are concerned (magical as they are).
Seriously, do you think I am the first blogger to write about their Ta-ta’s? Nope. If I hadn’t had my bosoms surgically reclaimed when I was blogging I would have written about how much I dislike them. DO IT, YO. You may help someone who has the same issues.
Kate: Dammit, are we going to have to arm-wrestle now? That sucks because I am freakishly weak and am totally convinced that you could kick my ass. (Dude, the Geiko Lizzard could kick my ass if I’m honest about it.)
Mr. Lady: Why THANK you my lovely. That means a lot to me. It’s true. It is a lot of hard work. Maybe not for some, but for most of us it really just takes a crapload of time.
Gretchen: OMG. I AM so jealous. I’m going to have to re-read my own advice, here. Every time I am at my local Wal-Mart and look at their sucky meat department I think about that butcher’s store and start drooling in my head.
Trenches: I related to her envy about BlogHer. There were a couple of things that she said in other areas that I didn’t (and honestly sometimes blogging about your frustration with blogging and often just pollute the air if you aren’t careful) but the BlogHer thing totally leaped out and grabbed me so I linked.
So…I’ve been blogging for a long time, since 2002. I didn’t start my mommy blog until last year (since I wasn’t a mommy before then!) and I have only recently come to realize that there are supposed echelons of mommy bloggers. I find that sort of silly. I know there are lots of amazing writers out there who haven’t been discovered. It takes time to build an audience, and while some people leap to the front of the pack with ease, most people slowly build readers.
I have always been the type of person that just goes for what I want. For example, I thought reviewing products would be cool, so I emailed PBN to ask them if I could join their review network. I didn’t know I wasn’t “supposed” to do that. If there is a blogger who I want to notice me, I just get all up in their face until they do (Right Loralee? Heh). I wanted to blog for one of the Silicon Valley Moms blogs, so I emailed and asked to join. I’d like to think that PBN or the SV Moms would have asked me to join, apropos of nothing, but there are a billion blogs out there. If I want to be seen, I have to put myself in the position to get noticed.
I don’t ever blog about blog stuff (people come to my joint because they want to see baby pictures, I admit it!), but if I did I would say, if you want something, there is NOTHING stopping you from getting it. Except yourself. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to blog about Nintendo giving me Wii Fit. Heh, just kidding (kind of – Nintendo, call me!)
Marilyn: Oh, crap. You were typing as I was typing! I am so glad you and I got to know one another. You do a lot of awesome things on your blogs. Half of the stuff I read comes from your weekly list links. They are ALWAYS awesome. I can’t wait to meet you and hold your adorable baby at BlogHer. I think that all of us come to some kind of understanding about our limitations and the realism that is the internet. It isn’t always easy. I love what I do, I love what YOU do and I totally think it will stay that way. :)
Heather: HA! You touched on a subject that I really, REALLY considered putting in my post but wasn’t sure that it wouldn’t come off like I was telling people to go and write me a love letter and link to me on their blogs.
The thing is, you are right. Often the person that yips and yips and links will get my attention.
Camille, (Way up there that I told to write about her boobs) wrote about post about how the one person she wanted to read her blog was me. Well, hello…THAT certainly got my attention. I clicked and read and she was funny, so I stayed.
She also wrote that link and got me to notice her in a way that wasn’t whiny or depressing or offensive because I HATE FEELING EMOTIONALLY HIJACKED INTO READING PEOPLE’S BLOG.
Like, in a really big way.
So, it is a balance. And it doesn’t always mean that people will read you regularly or often but seriously if you talk enough and blog enough, eventually I will pull my head out of my ass and head on over to your blog. :)
Ut-oh, I’m freakishly weak as well.
I guess we should call it a draw.
ha ha ha!
This post was all sorts of awesome, Loralee. Just like you.
You covered everything so perfectly.
Also – I GET TO MEET YOU NEXT WEEK!! Woo!
Angellas last blog post..Forever Friends
Hey I’m not jealous of you. I like your blog and its fun, but I’m secure in my bloggityness!
Mellys last blog post..HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARKY
Kate: Alright…Consider it a draw! There can’t be enough freakishly weak people with magical boobies in the world, IMO.
ANGELLA: Do you have ANY IDEA just how LOUD AND LONG I am going to SQUEE!!!!!!! When I meet you? There will also probably be a lot of hugging and jumping up and down. Seriously, I cannot, cannot, CANNOT wait to meet you.
MELLY: Oh, I hope I didn’t come off as thinking that everyone is jealous of ME. While I will not insult people by pretending that I don’t have healthy traffic and rad commenters, I also do NOT think that I am worth that kind of envy.
I just know that I and many, many other bloggity people I know have dealt with jealousy and I really just wanted to address it since I had a direct comment to me.
Also? Consider it a preemptive strike against the post BlogHer drama that happens every year. :)
I apologize in advance for post BlogHer drama. I know I’m going to snub someone as I’m busy being snubbed by other people, and then someone is going to want to write about what an asshole I was and I thought I was too good to hang out with them.
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Guest Post
Oh my freak. I totally forgot that I GET TO MEET YOU AT BLOGHER.
YAY!!!!!!
I wonder what it will be like as I can’t exactly squee and paw you and jump up and down in a bear hug.
Don’t we all feel this way sometimes? But we can’t let it get to us. This blogging thing is supposed to be fun, right?
By the way…LOVED your Cache Valley dancing video. Went to Utah State and my hubby is from N. Logan, so it was fun to see some of the hometown spots. I’ll be out your way in August. I’ll speak up if I recognize you out and about. I promise, I’m not a scary stalker, though.
Jens last blog post..Simple Woman’s Daybook – Journal Entry
Thanks for finally acknowledging that I am, indeed, the original sycophant of your blog.
Love your guts! (When’s sushi?!?!)
I put my first post up May 23. That was about 46 days ago.
I am still something of a startled bird about this 15 minutes of attention I’m getting.
There’s an egotistical side of me that thinks it’s pretty fucking cool that people are jealous of me and want to know me. I admit it. There’s another more realistic side of me that thinks you’re all fucking nuts. Ask Jenna. I am for the most part no fun to be around. I’m irritable.
I’m sorry if this sounds jerky. I don’t have time to visit all the blogs of people that comment. I did when it was only 2-5 rad people in the beginning, but I don’t anymore.
And I use Twitter to advertise myself and my offbeat brand of imaginative humor. I’m not going to read 6 million Tweets. I spend most of my time writing while my wife tries to get me to sand and paint things. No way Jose.
Now take it easy on me or you’re going to Kurt Cobain me into a heroin addiction. Actually, this really isn’t much like Kurt Cobain at all is it?
Please read my blog. I work very hard on it.
A good way to get my attention is to send me email with pix of you wearing a bra. Short of that, I don’t think you’re trying very hard.
-BHJ
Black Hockey Jesuss last blog post..Shiva Nataraja
Linny: Only a TRUE sycophant would get original credit and then want to buy the creditor sushi. Hee! I am probably going to be around on the 16th for lunch. You available?
BHJ:
Had I not been writing this at 4 am, I probably wouldn’t have put your handle in this post. However, since I was either going to link or post their comment and they were specific about you in the original and since people would see it anyway I thought it fruitless to leave it out. I didn’t link to you because Jessh, you are just a bystander in all of this anyway and hoped to not make it too big a deal.
I hope that wasn’t bad form of me. I just wasn’t sure what to do.
To be clear, you and I are good. The Twitter thing didn’t get my knickers into a twist at ALL. It was more to address their point and also illustrate that damn…People are human. So he didn’t add you to Twitter, he didn’t add me, either and there could be a million reasons why. Don’t assume it means that you suck.
See where I’m going?
I suck at Twittering anyway. ;)
That said, it is interesting to hear your blogging story. You are in that very small percentage that BAM! Have a following very quickly. Have you written about the experience yet? It would be fascinating. Most of us were still figuring out how to upload photos in that time span.
Impressive.
P.S. I’ve only driven one or two people into heroin addiction, but you don’t have to worry. I’ve mellowed into a cuddly kitten in my old age.
I am totally fascinated by this conversation because I think we’ve all had it at one time or another. I recently blogged about getting my feelings a little hurt because a couple of big bloggers won’t return my emails. But then I got over it. And they still haven’t returned my emails or ever commented or visited my blog. But, really, the only way to get noticed is to constantly comment and visit other blogs unless you have another promotional tool (like I have books which seem to bring new readers to me). I noticed Black Hockey Jesus because he continously commented funny things on my blog until I finally clicked over to see who was the hilarious mother fucker who was commenting on every post. The same goes for Backpacking Dad etc. But many bloggers are probably irritated with me because I never visit their blogs. I read as much as I can and comment as much as I can. But because I can’t devote all day to doing it, I’ll probably never be a huge blogger. But, unless I want to dedicate that kind of time, I have to learn not to care. Just my two cents.
Stefanies last blog post..Guest Blogging at Dad Gone Mad
I loved the video of you dancing across Logan. I need to come up and see those sites for myself. I’m actually planning a trip to the Zoo with a Mommy without a blog. Silly woman hasn’t caught the bug yet. I think she actually hangs out with her kids and shit.
A few months ago, I wanted to be popular. But then I realized that I do not have time for that. These curtain climbers are up my ass all day and I am trying to level my Paladin. And my 17 year old guild leader has a mega crush on me. I don’t have the heart to tell him that I”m an old lady. LOL!
I’m so glad that I got to meet you before I maybe get the heck out of Utah. I still don’t know what is going on….I feel like we are dating the job recruiter and she won’t sleep with us.
And I”m working on a post about my magic ass!
Connies last blog post..What Should I Be?
I had to post on this because I have to admit that I get jealous of other bloggers sometimes too. Then I feel really small and start to get down about it but you have to remember that in this venue with so many hundreds of thousands of people posting 24 hours a day it takes a little time to connect. I always also try to remember why I started blogging in the first place and that was not to be popular. It was just to put my voice out there and keep my own personal journal of my family life. I have truly found that the biggest satisfaction I receive is in putting down my feelings, thoughts, and memories as a sort of therapy for myself. And hey, it is cheaper than real therapy!
slssasmoms last blog post..Mommy you snortled
I heart you, Loralee, I really do (with the power of a thousand blazing suns!). Thanks for writing this.
rimaramas last blog post..I Saw Some Fireworks
Loralee, I so love you and can’t wait to meet you in SF.
To the writer of the anon post: email me, too, please. I have been blogging for a year and a half now, consistently for well over a year.
I have a nice, loyal readership thatis climbing steadily, and I love and appreciate each and every one of them.
The thing is, I’ve seen new blogs start and then TAKE OFF, leaving me in the dust. I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but like you, there’s a part of me that thinks, Huh? Why not me?
And BHJ…I was wondering why I was suddenly seeing him everywhere. I thought that somehow I’d just never heard of him before. But he’s only been around for 43 days? Really? Wow.
Case in point.
Anon, just do what you do on your blog, and people will find you. I promise.
Christines last blog post..I knew I kicked ass, I just KNEW it!
Lor- that was very nicely covered! I think ALL bloggers feel jealous at sometime or another.
I always liked the “too many people like you to worry about the ones that don’t” (people meaning your family and friends)
heather hales DESIGNSs last blog post..My Date
this was a great post. I’ve kind of had to let my blog slack because the whole online thing was actually starting to make me feel bad about myself – and that’s something I spent years working to change. I haven’t been around the blogosphere much for months because of moving/flipping two houses – but I’ve made a conscious decision to avoid areas of the sphere that seem too focused on cliques and popularity. If that means I stay a small blog forever… so be it.
I can’t wait to see you in a FEW DAYS!!
hollis last blog post..Mommy’s Little Helper. [Flickr]
STEFANIE:
I am wondering how Black Hockey Jesus’s head doesn’t EXPLODE. I would be totally overwhelmed. But then, I don’t have a handle like Black Hockey Jesus so he can probably take it.
Blogging takes a TON of time. The emails you get are staggering and they take a lot of time as well.
Some seem to manage a life on the side but I honestly don’t see how. :S
CONNIE:
I am the worst dancer on the freaking planet. I made that video when a friend broke up with his boyfriend and he desperately needed something to “DO”.
Ok, that thing about the Magic Ass SLAYED ME. “This is my friend Connie. She lives in the Detroit of Utah and she and her magical ass ate Tamales from a street vendor with me before seeing ‘Sex and the City’.” HA HA HA HA
I love your guts. I’ll be spending the night on the 16th before my flight. We should do coffee at the ghetto joint again.
slssasmom says:
I used to consider this blog my therapy. I started it when I was at the lowest, most abandoned, icky mental state of my life. I vomited just about every secret I had and talked about things that really had NO business being out there (at least with my name attached to it.)
Hell, I even named my blog “Looney Tunes” a name I deeply regret but am now stuck with.
I can’t use this blog for therapy anymore. For myself, I don’t care. I can take the fall out, but there are too many people that get hurt that have no control or choice in my decision to spew to the world my dirty laundry.
So? I had to start looking at this place differently and it is still deeply satisfying, it’s just in a completely different way than when I started.
I DO miss the ability to say what I want and not have it hurt me or others, though. That is one thing that was nice about have few readers. And those original group of followers? I STILL LOVE THEM TO FREAKING DEATH. (Go, BSU!)
RIMARAMA:
Can I just say that the fact that you remembered one of my key phrases enough to quote it makes me love YOU with the power of a thousand burning suns?!
CHRISTINE:
If they email you please let me know. I think I scared them to death. I may have hit a tiny nail on the head with a sledgehammer.
It is hard to watch some who have been blogging just as long or not as long take off. LIke I said, it’s human to want to be included. Blarg.
Oh, well. I am just happy I am going to meet you at BlogHer. (And at some point we are going to have to have that discussion about socialized medicine! Hee!)
HEATHER:
I do, too. Sometimes it is hard to remember that part of it but I try really hard to remember it when the suck-0-la hits the fan.
HOLLI:
You have had so damn much on your plate that I am surprised you have the will to live let alone log on to a damn blog.
THAT said, I always love reading your posts and OMG I CANNOT WAIT TO GIVE YOU A HUG IN 10 DAYS!!!!
A year ago I was trying desperately to be noticed by Amalah so I could get on her daily dose. Never happened. I couldn’t get why she never came to comment on my blog when I ALWAYS did on hers. Now I know why. No time. That’s why I started BS Sunday on Good Mom/Bad Mom…so I could help other bloggers get recognized. Popularity is (for a large part) a fluke. (By the way, this post will be linked to next Sunday…good stuff.)
Yesterday I got an email from a blogger I’d never gone to that said “PAY ATTENTION TO ME” and of course I ran right over to her blog and laughed my ass off because she totally had the right idea. Now when I want someone’s attention (people who have never heard of me and trust me there are TONS) I email them and almost always they respond. Hell, neither “The Bloggess” or “Good Mom/Ba Mom” would even be on alltop if I hadn’t have asked Guy directly about it.
We are all unpopular deep down in our hearts. For most all of us (including me) we are still the lonely wierdo in the high school cafeteria in our hearts.
PS. I can’t wait to me at blogher!
Jenny, Bloggesss last blog post..The difference between midgets and dwarves
I have definitely been on the whole jealousy thing. I loved this post alot and could identify with most of it.
I’m not really sure how big blogging is in Australia…I think it’s only sort of taking off but there is definition, almost like class or socio economics, a clear line.
I love all of my comments. No matter how many.
When I get myself all uptight, I ask myself why did I start blogging in the first place. It wasn’t for popularity.
Tiffs last blog post..…and the mother said to the pharmacist…
Hi – Just found you via Playgroupie. Thanks for writing this. I care, of course, about traffic – more than is healthy. But I try really hard to be more present in my real life – which means caring less about what happens in the online world.
I’ll be back – really like your place here. :)
Suss last blog post..Wanted: Long Hikes at Sunset. By myself.
This is a wonderful post. I wasn’t the one who posted the comment, but I’ve struggled with this somewhat myself. I finally decided last month that I needed to stop beating myself up for not being a “great” blogger and just enjoy it for what it is. I redefined (in my mind) my blog for me, rather than others and I’ve felt a release since doing so. That doesn’t mean I don’t wish I had more readers, but I don’t worry about it now. I am what I am.
Thank you for this post. It was truly encouraging.
Merediths last blog post..Babydoll Dress – The Beginning
Ok, I have never heard of this Black Hockey Jesus guy before reading your post, but seeing how he called everyone fucking nuts, I’m going to read him. Because it’s true…we’re all fucking nuts, including myself and I just admire anyone who says fuck on their blog.
Now I must go take picture of myself in a bra.
Loralee, you are more than words. This is an awesome post. Lots of juicy perspective for me to think on during my bloggy vacation.
Queen of Shake Shakes last blog post..Payton for President 2036
Oh – I love the dancing video. Thanks for listing it.
As for the rest, I am impressed that you took the time to write so much. I come here because I like your attitude and the way you write about it.
Sorry, but you are going to Blog Her, and you are asked to talk, so many people are impressed.
Please, just keep writing and ignore the comments (well, not this one obviously)
JoeInVegass last blog post..Nsensone?
Someday I’m going to post about being a little blog-commenting fish in a huge sea of commenting fish. It’s not easy being commentor number 53 *sigh* but maybe, in some small way, my words have some effect.
So, I say: I have no desire to be admired by throngs of people. I know I’m great, and sometimes have funny things to say. Too bad if the rest of the world doesn’t know it!
Erin Taylors last blog post..My Red Shoes- a haiku
Jenny, Bloggess:
I am so glad I finally made it over to your blog. My hell you are freaking hilarious.
Thanks for the future link. I am really glad that you enjoyed it.
I went through that whole, “HOW can I faithfully comment and not have them come to my blog” thing, too.
Links and EMAIL IS THE KEY. You nailed it on the head. There are very few emails that I don’t respond to. I also try to visit when someone directly links to a post. They took the time. When someone takes the time to email me through my contact sheet I often make the time to respond.
Again, that is when I can and who knows what will happen in the future. I think that everyone just tries the best that they can.
I am so excited to meet you as well!
Tiff:
It is all kinds of awesome if Australia isn’t so established. You are on the ground floor, baby! HEE!
Hierarchy is a reality but I think that the stuckupittyness is MAINLY a myth. Sure there are ALWAYS bitchy, lame or rude people but you certainly don’t have to be an A-list blogger to be THAT kind of person. Some of the most arrogant bloggers I’ve encountered only have a handful of readers.
At the end of the day, they’re just people.
Sus:
PLEASE tell me it was because of the red shoes from Payless. (I love that so many of us are going to be hanging out at BlogHer with them)
I love Jen, she is all kinds of awesome.
Finding that balance is almost like the Holy Grail in the blogging world. I am not sure that it can ever really be done to a satisfactory level…Like most things I think it ebbs and flows. Sometimes you’re more present online, sometimes in real life.
I won’t stop trying to find it, though.
Meredith:
Awe, thanks. I have truly been there. I have been at this for awhile and it has been a hard, bumpy road for me. But I love it and at the end of the day I really think that I would still do it even if all my readers just went away (You know, after a long and intense recovery of laying in the fetal position in my bed and consuming vats of Ben & Jerry’s).
Queen of Shake Shake:
I think I have only said fuck like, twice on this blog. I use it as a cue to my readers that I have reached Level RED on my pissed off meter. I don’t use it often because well, my mom and some family check in. Cowardly but come on…It’s my MOM.
You and BHJ seem destined, IMO. He is fun. He’s no Backpacking Dad, but he’s fun. (HAD TO DO IT. HEE.)
You had soooo much to do with this post. But you know that. Wink.
JOE: You are a sweetheart. Seriously. I loved this comment. I really wasn’t bothered by that comment in the least. At all. I had been wanting to write about this topic for awhile and it seemed like the perfect time to do it.
ERIN: Little bug, like you could ever be insignificant. EVER. I know that people feel like after 50 comments, what is there to say or that their comments don’t matter. WRONG. I read (and sometimes re-read and re-read again) every.single.word.
You have always had a great attitude. I guess it comes down to the fact that I have always been a performer. I LOVE making people laugh, or cry, or just entertaining people. (I also like the applause at the end for a job well-done. I’m human.)
Also…there is throngs of people and then there are “THRONGS” of people. I would never in a million years wish to be Dooce. But I do like having a following. I can’t lie about it.
P.S. Glad you checked reality and went to one blog. I do not know how you did it for so long!
Wow, what a really awesome post that was! I am a newbie blogger myself, so it was very inspirational to read! Everyone has to start somewhere! I just really admire you for responding to that anon comment.
HeatherPrides last blog post..Meet My Killer
I have serious blog envy toward you. I’m sure a large part of it goes to the fact that I have no life. Whatever, your site rocks. It gives me something to laugh about and cures some boredom :).
So THIS is why you were up so stinkin’ late/early last night/morning! Well worth it — amazing, honest post.
I officially LOVE you. Add me to the list of your stalkers. And since I’ll be one of the “Not Going to BlogHer” Bloggers, you’re safe this year. But next year … I may have to tackle you.
mommypies last blog post..Twitterho has a dream.
Honey, I’ll always be your dirty urinal whore.
Sarahs last blog post..A Birthday
Wow i never knew there was so much drama in the blogosphere. I don’t blog so i skimmed though this post. But i wanted to tell you that the video of you dancing in Cache Valley was great! It really put a smile on my face! Thanks!!
HEATHERPRIDE: Everyone was a newbie. Everyone has struggles, but if you are really a blogger than you have something else in common with us: We all LOVE it.
ALLISON: Yes, but YOU get to hang out with Gail and Amy so I am all SORTS of jealous of you. (AND OMG you turned into a totally HOT person. Talk about ENVY!!!!)
Mommypie: You are completely lovely. I swung by your place a little earlier but lurked because I haven’t had much time to talk on blogs (My dad is having surgery tomorrow and so I’m struggling keeping up with the comments here lately!) but I will definitely read AND tackle you back at BlogHer ‘09
SARAH: Could you at LEAST make “Oily Boy” Loofah and Bathe AFTER you are done playing with him??? ;)
JENNIFER: Thanks for stopping by! Blogosphere, nothing. If you want drama, try serving on the PTA. (Three-term president, here. It can’t TOUCH blog drama in some ways!)
Once upon a time I had a really successful blog on politcs called WoozleDen (you can read it at The Way Back Machine). Of course that was before they were called blogs. Anyway, I shelved it about 6 years ago.
Just recently I started a new blog, this time on wine. And it is kind of crappy still, I admit it. I haven’t found my voice yet. It is part of the company I just founded so I have been hesitant to say anything that might make someone uncomfortable. I’m working on changing that because, quite frankly, I want it to be more interesting to write.
Still, you have have some patience, and hopefully it works out. And maybe it doesn’t. Either way you need to have fun.
I think that is key.
Steve from winescorecards last blog post..Viognier and wedding cake – perfect together
I LOVE THIS POST. OMG. LOVE.
Ok, so can I tell you something I’ve told nobody? I don’t really LIKE blogging. I don’t. I mean, I DO, but not really. Does that make sense? Of course it does. It’s because of all that shit up above you pointed out.
And also
I have the exact same feelings. I used to be jealous but I just don’t have time any more. My stats? Suck. They’ve been going downhill for a year now. Oh, you know, about the time I had my son?
And (god, hi, long comment, sorry)
I think of you as a friend. Every comment you send or every tweet I think, “OHH! Loralee!!!” and get all giddy. But I suck at actually clicking over to read. I hardly comment. It’s not love lost, it’s just, well, time, honestly. And it sucks and I’m sorry I’m not better at coming to say things or replying. But I squeal when you write and I adore your stuff. I know it doesn’t count as traffic, but it’s one more real person who loves you. I hoep that means more.
Mrs. Flingers last blog post..Inspiration
It’s true. I think most bloggers have quit their blogs at some time or another, because they didn’t receive as much feedback as they felt they deserved. I have.
And also–I’m sorry about your technorati thing. I don’t even have one, I don’t think.
Camilles last blog post..{The Dog Ate My Blog Post}
I wanted to leave a comment for your other posting but the comments are off. I really want you to know that I found your blog and “Her” was the first post I read. It moved me in ways I can not explain. I have a good friend who lost her baby boy and it inspired me to be a better friend and it helped me understand her.
I am sad that you were not picked to read your post but it is an amazing piece of your heart!
This is brilliant. As a C-list or so blogger, I’m caught between occasionally feeling a little jealousy that I’m not as “popular” as some bloggers, but at the same time feeling overwhelmed at what I already have.
Blogging is my part-time job, but at times it’s like an entry-level full-time job where you work 60+ hour weeks to prove yourself to the management so they’ll like you and possibly promote you.
I’m also lousy at returning comments, e-mailing, and I can’t read nearly as many blogs as I’d like. But I do what I can and each day hope that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, and try not to take any coolness from others personally.
And yeah, I had to ask to be on Alltop, too. I’ll admit to being a little pushy to get some of the opportunities I’ve received.
Christinas last blog post..I’m Talking Politics Today & I’m On TV Tomorrow
AWESOME. I hope you won’t mind if I link to this soon in a fave posts lately kind of post on mine. Seems I’ve seen several blog jealousy posts lately, and yours really is the ultimate answer to all of it. LOVE this.
Kazas last blog post..Cocktail Hour!
Wow, you really hit the nail on the head with this one.
A blogger I used to like and admire a great deal told me once that the secret to blogging had to be “Blog like no one is reading.” Of course, when I did that and a post happened to be about said individual, that all was blown to hell.
Some posts flop. Blogging relationships come and go. I used to have a (what I considered to be) good following of a select group of readers… I don’t think a single one of those people read my blog anymore, or if they do, it’s on a very, very rare basis. It’s like a cycle of friends: they are there for a time or a season, and then things change.
But that doesn’t make it easier.
I have to say that I understand exactly what Anon was getting at. We’ve all been there as bloggers, and I’m sure in some ways we’ll stay there for awhile. It’s just life. At least life as a blogger anyway. I once said that blogging felt like high school in many ways… and just like high school, someone is always left out of some clique. But maybe instead of trying to get into a specific clique, we should work on forming our own. You never know what group of bloggers you might connect with if you just try.
TCs last blog post..My <3/hate relationship with Facebook
An amazingly real and honest post. LOVED every word and could relate to much of it. It is nuts how your self worth can get so wrapped up in a little weblog no?
Tiffanys last blog post..Eco Wrap – Tutorials and Cool Blogs
Found your post via Mrs. Flinger and SO glad I did. I admire your honesty and could totally relate with Anon’s, as well! I’ve been blogging for nearly 5 years now and I feel it safe to say that I love this community and NOT just for the cool swag. Being invited in and allowed to contribute to heartfelt conversations (like yours) is truly an honor AND Technorati could never take that away from you!
Lizs last blog post..Gone Fishing – Will Be Back Soon, or NOT!
I clicked over from Twitter, what a fantastic post. I’m going to go ahead and admit, this is my first time here, which, how have I missed reading you? Sheesh!
Now, I hope this doesn’t come off as bragging or whatever, but as someone who does get sent products to review, has gone a free trips, and has a few readers, you know what? I’m jealous of YOU because dang, you get a LOT of comments on your posts!
Your PostSecretesque post has 120 comments on it! I’ve never had anywhere near that many organic comments ( as opposed to giveaway entries, those don’t really count). I had to BEG people to leave me comments on my birthday. I would be beyond thrilled if 50 or 60 people thought my personal posts were interesting enough to comment on.
Also, look at who you are rooming with at BlogHer! Ask Amber about sharing a hunk of fried dough covered in apple pie filling with me and my roommates at BlogHer last year. She is a HOOT and a HALF, that one. And Michelle, from Scribbit! LOVE her writing so much. I really hope I find you all in the ginormous crowd of 1,000 people so I can gush over your fabulousness and embarass you into taking a photo with me :)
P.S. The only reason my blogs are on Alltop is because I DM’ed Guy on Twitter and ASKED him to list them. Shameless.
Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle. http://tinyurl.com/5p8q7b
Jenny, Bloggesss last blog post..Thanks for the zombies, Jesus!
Loralee – I know I’m late on commenting on this post, but I LOVED it. Thanks for putting it out there. You expressed so well how I feel about blogging. Can’t wait to meet you in SF. :)
andis last blog post..Oh right, I have a blog
Your “Downside to popularity” is the exact reason I stopped wanting or hoping to become “popular”. I am quite content with the community that I have developed with the majority of my readers. Even to say “my readers” sound weird to me. On average I have 10. That is a drop in the bucket but it’s like family and I love that. I wouldn’t want to trade that for all the comments in the world!
Awesome post! I came via Good Mom/Bad Mom.
kaytabugs last blog post..10 friends and a barrel of laughs
What a great entry. Came via good mom / bad mom.
We are still fairly new at Where’s My Damn Answer. Luckily, there are six of us to create content and banter with. At first, that was ALL we had too – haha. Now we’re growing. While I don’t sweat things like being popular anymore, I can totally relate because I used to. You gave great advice!!
I wish I was going to Blogher but I have to sell my jewelry at a trade show and that’s just where the priorities are this time. Maybe next time it won’t conflict so I can meet all the people I stalk/lurk/read in person.
This is the most honest, straight to the point, and some how not at all condescending post I’ve read on this topic.
Feed Reader, please.
(But I’m still pissed I’m not going to BlogHer.)
Miss Britts last blog post..Is That A Light At The End Of The Tunnel, or The Glow From The Flames?
Ha! Emotionally hijacked into reading a blog! That is the best way I’ve even heard it described, and I REFUSE to play into it. Bad form, that.
Mr Ladys last blog post..Cause and Effect; A Cautionary Photostudy for the Modern Housewife
Technorati has something up its butt. I had the same problem. They said they had some authority ratings that were “too high.” I say, “bite me.” Ah, well, always something, right?
T.
Technorati has something up its butt. I had the same problem. They said they had some authority ratings that were “too high.” I say, “bite me.” Ah, well, always something, right?
T.
TLC@SendChocolates last blog post..Sunday In The House With Me
standing and applauding.
ok, sitting and applauding.
Slouching Moms last blog post..But there’s no traffic light that slow.
Okay, just saw one of your comments and now I’m freaking out a little. To be clear, I wasn’t trying to stir up any drama with my post… It was written from a place of total honesty with ZERO expectations. I figured the few regular readers I had might get a kick out of it, might be able to relate a little. That was it.
I’ve been completely blown away by the feedback I’ve gotten, almost all of it has been very positive, and I’ve been SO grateful for the links (yours especially) and the comments, I really had no idea that my post had rubbed anyone the wrong way. I truly am sorry if it did. Not sure why it would, though.
Anyway, thank you for at least appreciating some of it and sorry you got plagiarized – that bites BALLS.
bejewells last blog post..Blue-Ribbon People Watching Experiences
all right, i just found you through blog nosh, and reading this is great. i’ve SO been there. hell, i still AM there sometimes. but mostly i’ve managed to accept where i’m at. that doesn’t mean i want to stay there forever, but i like who i am and what i write, and i love the readers i have. i’ll keep on networking, being friendly, meeting new folks, and maybe some of them will like me. maybe someday i’ll be a hugely popular A-lister; maybe i’ll always be a decent B-lister. either way, the best i can do is like and respect myself at the end of the day.
now, big group hug! (says the girl you’ve never heard of until today. that’s not creepy or anything…)
Laras last blog post..In Honor of My Mother
you’re hilarious. and very, very honest.
i really appreciated this post. thanks for writing it.
lildbs last blog post..smut blogging.
WOW. So, so true. I love you more than ever, pretty lady.
metalias last blog post..Sticky Fingers
I was just thinking of writing about my very own blog envy when I came across this post. I am one of the little people that after two years of blogging on a GREAT day have 5 visits and I read the blogs that get double digit comments and have no clue what I am dong “wrong” – But then I remind myself that I blog because I love to write. I can’t imagine living my life and not writing.
So while I may only have 1 or 2 readers, and at times it really gets on my nerves that no matter what I do it never gets any larger, I do have the opportunity to write and write and write about anything I like. And it makes me feel good… And then there is the hope of someday…
Robbs last blog post..Road to Jaipur
[...] without jealousy is just, well, insecurity, so go read Loralee’s post. I’ve been jealous many a time. See above comments about the cool girls club, in fact. But [...]
Fantastic post! And SO true. Hope you had a wonderful time at BlogHer! I did.
This is a fantastic post. Very, very nicely done. I can’t add anything.
We all suffer from jealousy and insecurity. Every one of us.
carmens last blog post..A Reader Asks a Question
I just found this post through mommystory’s stumbles and I LOVE it! I wanna re-stumble it!!! So fantastic and TRUE! Every word was honest and totally true.
Love!
[...] woke up today to information that my post on blogging jealousy had been copied, cut, tweaked slightly and pasted on the site of Miss Maria Francesca Ditas Chantal [...]
what an awesome post – was just tweeted by @writingroads – love this as it totally tweaked my viewpoint as I have been having a lot of these same feelings along with fighting within myself about growth and direction – thanks