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No, that title is not a misspelling on my part.
Apparently, this is my son’s new “Cool phrase”. I told him at lunchtime that he had to eat the rest of his salad, and he looked at me, rolled his eyes and said, “WhatEV”.
Whatev?
WhatEV??!
Dude.
He turns 12 in two months and I thought I would have at least a year or two before the rampant eye rolling and dismissive comments aimed to parental units would start.
I nipped THAT right in the tail.
“I don’t care what terminology you opt to use with your brother, friends, homies or whatever you are calling them this week, but you will N-O-T say, “WhatEV” to your mother. And lose the eye roll. If you do it too much your eyes will fall out of your head.”
(I also may or may not have thrown in a couple of illustrative comments about having to walk uphill both ways to school when I was a young whippersnapper.)
He ALMOST started another eye roll, but stopped when he caught my icy glare of death aimed at his head.
Later that night we were over at my sisters looking at her new flooring she was having installed and James noticed that I was chewing gum. You know, because I totally snap my gum at the loudness level of a jack hammer making out with a kettle drum or four.
He asked if he could have a piece.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Because. When we were at the old house and we got new carpet installed you and your brother got gum all over it. So? You can’t have anymore gum in the house while we’re living in our rented townhouse.”
“WHAT?!!! That’s not fair mom! I’ll starve to death!”
“Life isn’t fair. And there are starving children in Africa.” (This time I did refrain from the whole “Milking the cows barefoot in a blizzard and bringing the milk in from the barn tablespoon by tablespoon”, spiel.)
“You know…I think that you should really rethink this, Mom. It could be a trust-building exercise for us.”
“Whatev.“
If anyone needs me I will be in my bedroom contemplating the amount of damage I may have done to my parental credibility and TOTALLY thinking how worth it it was.
tjk says:
well llc
the drama time of life
what is more “fun” than the teen year
June 12th, 2008 at 12:11 am
rachel says:
I actually just snorted Miller Lite through my nose. That hurt. But it was worth it.
Holy hell. That last line was brilliantly real.
I dread the 8 to 18 years. I shall start praying now.
rachels last blog post..More Than, Less Than… Wednesday
June 12th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Backpacking Dad says:
I just started a whole long daydream about what I will do when my daughter is 9 or 10 and pulling this shit with me.
Step one: Very calmly, slowly, deliberately, and without anger, rancor, or verbiage, I am going to make her wear that salad.
Step two: assure her that every time she refuses an “eat it” order she will wear it, and have to do the laundry and clean up the food that will now be all over the floor. Only then will she be permitted to go play Virtual Reality Mall Developer or whatever the hell game they come up with in 9 years.
I don’t think I need more than two steps.
I’m all tough and shit now, but wait until this really happens and I’m all “but WHYYYYYY won’t you eat your salad?? I totally love you! Please! For daddy! I’ll give you $20 and drive you to the Virtual Mall.”
Backpacking Dads last blog post..Dilettante
June 12th, 2008 at 1:00 am
Elizabeth says:
This irritates the snot out of me, but I just have to do it:
ROFLMAO!
Elizabeths last blog post..A leetle nervous
June 12th, 2008 at 1:34 am
Camille says:
Credibility and be damned. It had to be said.
Camilles last blog post..{I’ve Never Been to Boston In the Fall}
June 12th, 2008 at 2:49 am
witchypoo says:
Carpets are evil. I hope you don’t install any in the new house you’re building.
witchypoos last blog post..Not Parallel Play
June 12th, 2008 at 4:12 am
natalie says:
yeah…i’ve heard whatev from one of my kids too. he quickly followed it with an “i’m just kidding” so he was off the hook. i think the look i gave him even though he said he was kidding let him know that it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to say it to me again!
natalies last blog post..A Food Review - Part 2
June 12th, 2008 at 4:20 am
Kate says:
too funny!!
June 12th, 2008 at 6:50 am
Kyle Johnson says:
That totally rocked Loralee, right on!
June 12th, 2008 at 8:39 am
lceel says:
We used to call that a ’suckerpunch’. Well done, you.
lceels last blog post..Wordless Wednesday (with p.s.)
June 12th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Sra says:
Whatev’s a lot better than many things he could and probably will say in his teen years. And you can probably trust that he’ll continue eye rolling at least behind your back if not in front of your face. All teens do, remember? Luckily, it’s just 6 or so years before they go back to being likeable. That’s not too long on the grand scale of life.
Sras last blog post..Random Musings
June 12th, 2008 at 9:58 am
SparklieSunShine says:
Haha! I say whatev! Though never actually at people. I do enjoy the way you handled it. I’m sure I’ll have an instance with that when I have kids.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..All For You
June 12th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Danielle says:
You’re letting that child watch too much Dr. Phil… trust building exercises?!
I must say -
He “BOO-YA! ed” you…
(whatev that means…)
Danielles last blog post..Time Wasters
June 12th, 2008 at 10:30 am
loralee says:
Hee.
I have been telling both of my boys for a long time that how much freedom they are given by me and their dad depends on how much I trust them to make good decisions.
I am starting to really pick up the pace reminding them that driving, dating, ever being in possession of their own cell phone blah, blah, blah, will all hinge on how much trust we have together.
Sure, it may be a bit early, but this way they can’t say I didn’t warn them.
Heh.
June 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Sarah says:
Dude your son is the best, and has clearly been watching “The Hills” behind your back. I like to say WHATEVS! That extra ’s’ really adds a punch. Or something.
Sarahs last blog post..That’s What She Said–In Utah This Week
June 12th, 2008 at 10:43 am
Chelle says:
Completely worth it! Plus, I thought every child implicitly understood that part of parenting is unlimited license to be hypocritical. “You can’t do it, but mommy and daddy can.” Right? Am I off track here?
June 12th, 2008 at 11:42 am
Angella says:
You are my kind of parent. Hee!
Angellas last blog post..My Sweetie Girl*
June 12th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Gretchen says:
Here I sit, snapping my gum, glad I put that $20 per paycheck in an account earmarked “Therapy.” I just haven’t decided if it’s for me, or the kids…
Whatev…
Gretchens last blog post..In other news…
June 12th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Rachel (Louisiana) says:
BWA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, the funniest story I’ve read all week. (And after reading freaking Thomas Carlyle, Jane Eyre, and all about plagues and epidemics, it was a MUCH NEEDED diversion.) Thanks.
Rachel (Louisiana)s last blog post..I should feel guilty…
June 12th, 2008 at 2:22 pm
Talina says:
Ha, that is priceless… Whatev… My high school students haven’t started with that one yet.
Talinas last blog post..Just a waitin’ for the time to pass, loo loo loo.
June 12th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
glittersmama says:
love it!
glittersmamas last blog post..My Current Favorite Pictures of Glitter
June 12th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
zeghsy says:
so grounded!
zeghsys last blog post..gone on holiday
June 12th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
loralee says:
Who? Me or James? (Hee!)
June 12th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
The Over-Thinker says:
This is why I totally love you
The Over-Thinkers last blog post..This one’s for Lucy.
June 12th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
jubilee says:
Found you through June Cleaver Nirvana and I am glad I clicked over - great post.
My son just turned seven and he’s been trying to get away with “Whatev” for months now. He’s started his whole teen age eye roll/slang thing way to early!
Your comeback - so worth it!
jubilees last blog post..A Light at the End of the Proverbial Tunnel
June 12th, 2008 at 10:28 pm
Single Mom Seeking says:
First, great post! We’ve entered the “Whatev” stage over here, in our home… Jeesh.
Second, I’m sorry to hear that you think I was bashing mothers on my blog. That wasn’t my intention. My intention was to start a conversation about a topic that’s very emotional for many single moms. Little did I know JUST how emotional. As I said, I’m a huge fan of Kristen, her personal blog, her Work It Mom blog…
Third, I see that you’re coming to BlogHer. I’ll be there, too. For me, it would be a shame to meet you and think, “Oh, that’s the woman who says I bash people.”
I look forward to having a real, life chat with you… and maybe a drink?
Single Mom Seekings last blog post..Let’s not get to know each other…
June 13th, 2008 at 9:03 am
JoeInVegas says:
You totally rock!
JoeInVegass last blog post..E Friday (and it’s up on Friday!)
June 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Christine says:
Oh, gulp. My son just turned 10. Not looking forward to those eye-rolling days.
Christines last blog post..Black Coffee in Bed
June 14th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Occidental Girl says:
Ha!!! I love it. What you said about bringing in the milk tablespoon by tablespoon was awesome!
My daughter is seven and, oh my, things begin early.
Hang in there, mom.
Occidental Girls last blog post..How Quickly the Mighty Fall
June 14th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Jessie says:
If it weren’t for withholding gum, I would say that you are TOTALLY the coolest most wonderful nononsensefunlovingmominthewholewildworld!!!
I miss you!
Jessies last blog post..this is how jessie rambles….
June 15th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
Melain says:
ICK. ‘Whatev’ is my LEAST favorite of the now phrases. A guy my friend was dating used to send that one to her in response to her texts. I encouraged her to dump him IMMEDIATELY. “Whatev.” BLAHK!!
Melains last blog post..MORTIFIED
June 16th, 2008 at 1:19 am
SparklieSunShine » Blog Archive » My Mouth Goes Green!* says:
[…] ****Did you notice that lately I have been putting a * by things and forgetting to add the addendum at the bottom? I suck. Whatevs! (That was for you Loralee.) […]
June 19th, 2008 at 8:31 am