No, that title is not a misspelling on my part.
Apparently, this is my son’s new “Cool phrase”. I told him at lunchtime that he had to eat the rest of his salad, and he looked at me, rolled his eyes and said, “WhatEV”.
He turns 12 in two months and I thought I would have at least a year or two before the rampant eye rolling and dismissive comments aimed to parental units would start.
I nipped THAT right in the tail.
“I don’t care what terminology you opt to use with your brother, friends, homies or whatever you are calling them this week, but you will N-O-T say, “WhatEV” to your mother. And lose the eye roll. If you do it too much your eyes will fall out of your head.”
(I also may or may not have thrown in a couple of illustrative comments about having to walk uphill both ways to school when I was a young whippersnapper.)
He ALMOST started another eye roll, but stopped when he caught my icy glare of death aimed at his head.
Later that night we were over at my sisters looking at her new flooring she was having installed and James noticed that I was chewing gum. You know, because I totally snap my gum at the loudness level of a jack hammer making out with a kettle drum or four.
He asked if he could have a piece.
“Because. When we were at the old house and we got new carpet installed you and your brother got gum all over it. So? You can’t have anymore gum in the house while we’re living in our rented townhouse.”
“WHAT?!!! That’s not fair mom! I’ll starve to death!”
“Life isn’t fair. And there are starving children in Africa.” (This time I did refrain from the whole “Milking the cows barefoot in a blizzard and bringing the milk in from the barn tablespoon by tablespoon”, spiel.)
“You know…I think that you should really rethink this, Mom. It could be a trust-building exercise for us.”
If anyone needs me I will be in my bedroom contemplating the amount of damage I may have done to my parental credibility and TOTALLY thinking how worth it it was.