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I got my bag from Bluefly.com today.
The UPS guy drove up just as I was starting the hideous task of de-jungling my yard and flower beds. Jonathan’s birthday is on Saturday and he has opted to take his geeky self and several of his geeky friends down to his office to spend the whole day and night with their geeky computers all networked together to play endless amounts of geeky computer games.
Not MY idea of a fantabulous birthday, but since I don’t have a million and one Leathermans, flashlights, phones and other forms of geekary attached to my belt at all times, I know that I “Just don’t get it”. It’s his day, he can do what he wants. I just want him to be happy.
As I will be kid-free that night, I will most likely be curled up with a good book or movie and possibly a vat of cookie dough, but you didn’t hear that here.
Back to my yard.
Since Jonathan is turning 32 (YES. HE IS OLDER THAN I AM, OK? He loves calling me “Mrs. Robinson”. We are not amused.), I did want to celebrate his birthday at some point. We have good friends that grew up with Jonathan visiting from Virgina and since we wanted to get together with everyone we just decided to throw a BBQ on Friday to celebrate both events.
Which means our first outdoor party of the year.
Which means I don’t just have to clean my house, I also have to get my yard ready. Which is not easy. My trip to Minnesota (and my inadequacy of dealing with my life-suck) has put me WAY behind on my yard. The biggest problem has been with our mower. It has been at the shop since the first thaw and so my yard has been HORRIBLE. The weeds in my area are crazy bad, too. It took a very long time, some serious swearing and about 3 herniations to get the whole project done.
I swear I thought I was going to find Jimmy Hoffa amongst the weeds in my back garden. GAH! I managed to get the 200 lbs of Sienna red chips scattered, all the flowers planted and my herbs potted, and made sure that all half acre of the lawn was mowed, even though it means that I am going to need to take eleventyhundred Aleve so that I can walk tomorrow. Although, since I also had a rehearsal full of the Charleston combined with tons of frantic house cleaning, I REALLY don’t think that there is much chance of that. I am in bucketloads of back pain and I can just imagine what a night on my suckass bed is going to make me feel like in the morning.
Back to my yard. Again.
All through my gardening process, I kept eying my box from Bluefly. I left it on the porch as a visual reminder that I had something AWESOME waiting for me. Call it a, ‘Don’t stick the pruning clippers in your eye, Loralee. Just finish the damn garden so you can open me!” pep talk if you will.
I finally got the last of the weeds thrown in the wheelbarrow as it turned officially dark and then went inside to guzzle water and open my box to see my new purse!!!!
DUDE.
Total disappointment.
It’s…Boring. And stiff. And the leather is nubby, which you can’t see in the photo and which I hate. The ruffles look stiff and awkward instead of feminine and it just isn’t something that I really want to spend a hundred bucks on, even if it was 60% off.
AND…it was designed by JESSICA SIMPSON.
I think that last tidbit was the final nail in the coffin for me.
It’s so disappointing.
It’s SO being sent back.
Mandi says:
I don’t quite understand why you are called Mrs Robinson because in the film she is the older one, much, much older. I suppose it could be irony I’ve never been any good at understanding that kind of humour
May 16th, 2008 at 5:00 am
Michelle says:
I’ve stopped lurking…
Isn’t it annoying when life doesn’t live up to the pictures we see? I’m talking purse, but that applies generally.
Was glad you got that ‘better’ part in the musical, I’m sure you’ll be much happier playing that part. Shame I live in Australia and not nearby or I’d come see you perform.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:30 am
Michelle says:
PS At least you finished your garden before the disappointment or I’m sure your family would have found you in the middle of the mess
May 16th, 2008 at 5:32 am
Amber says:
But it looked so cute in the picture. I always knew that Jessica Simpson was a faud.
Ambers last blog post..Biggest Loser Boot Camp Week 7 Weigh-in (as Satan is identified)
May 16th, 2008 at 6:48 am
JL says:
Can I say…free pass? I love it every once in a while to have a totally “kid” free night…that’s when I either get together w/my girlfriends or just stay home. How disappointing. I thought the ruffles would be soft and slightly flexible when touched. I hate when I get excited about a purchase, it arrives…and it sucks! I did a post in April all about handbags-low & high priced ones for spring if you need any ideas.
JLs last blog post..Things that annoy me…
May 16th, 2008 at 6:57 am
glittersmama says:
Jessica Simpson. ick.
I love your flowers though–very pretty.
glittersmamas last blog post..The Best Day of My Life
May 16th, 2008 at 7:21 am
Amy J says:
I hate the internet disappointments. Pooey.
May 16th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Heather says:
That totally stinks. Even though it was icky and you are sending it back I am still marveling at how quick it shipped to you. At least it seemed quick to me.
Enjoy your kid free night, and your yard looks fabulous!!
Heathers last blog post..I didn’t change my clothes in the photobooth
May 16th, 2008 at 7:25 am
SparklieSunShine says:
Oh no! I am SO bummed that the purse wasn’t what you wanted. Damn. And the pictures made it look so adorable and perfect. Sorry it didn’t work out. Hopefully you will find you perfect purse soon.
SparklieSunShines last blog post..Happy Swapping!
May 16th, 2008 at 7:38 am
lceel says:
Flower pictures are pretty. I am so glad I wasn’t even tempted to buy that bag (shut up - for Annie). I’m not a JS fan, even though her bod IS hot - I can’t see past the apparent lack of brain.
lceels last blog post..The Barechested Woman
May 16th, 2008 at 9:19 am
ThatOneGuy says:
My mail order bride was all crusty and bumpy too.
I hate that.
Also, she wouldn’t get back in the box, either. Bitch.
ThatOneGuys last blog post..While we’re on the subject…
May 16th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Bridge says:
I can’t wait to see your garden tonight. It better be weedless. LOL.
BBQ!
BBQ!
BBQ!
It will be so much fun!
May 16th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Erin Evans Taylor says:
Sorry about the bag. Check out http://www.pinklemonadebags.com they have the cutest bags!!!!! They also have an etsy store!!!! I am getting myself one for my birthday!!!! You should get yourself one for Jon’s birthday!!!!
Erin Evans Taylors last blog post..My Blog is Suffering
May 16th, 2008 at 10:33 am
Sweet Yet Sassy says:
Uhm…okay?! Wow! So, I have a lot of catching up to do.
I don’t know how I did it but when I copied and pasted your link into my blog it captured the date in the link……
I.AM.THAT.COOL! LOL Thanks!
Sweet Yet Sassys last blog post..Mother’s Day
May 16th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Angella says:
That stinks!
Online shopping has its perks (You can do it naked if you want! Not that I do that or anything. Ahem.), but there is always the risk that the subject of the photo is not as great as the photo makes it out to be.
Kind of like photos of me
May 16th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Melain says:
Dude. I HATE buying things on-line. I’m a totaly quality snob and you JUST CAN’T TELL quality in a picture! Did you not know it was a J.S. bag when you bought it? That’s just embarassing. 3 cheers for a good return policy.
Melains last blog post..This is your brain while moving.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
The Over-Thinker says:
And Jessica Simpson is an asshole. I’m very sorry that the purse was a big letdown, but if you return it, know that it will be an assist to the take down of her empire.
Whoa. I sounded a bit wigged out right there, huh? Huh.
I just realized that as I type this, you are probably enjoying drinks with Bridge and gazing lovingly at your beautiful flowers (or maybe at Bridge? Hey! If you can’t find that “special” photo of you two, maybe you should take one this evening! Heehee.)
The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Hot Damn! I have a blog!
May 16th, 2008 at 5:26 pm
rimarama says:
You can’t trust a person who doesn’t know tuna from chicken to design purses.
May 16th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Amy says:
Jessica Simpson designs purses?? Who knew? I just ordered a bathing suit online…it looked cute. Basic black halter top; what could be strange about that? Well, the bathing suit plunges down to my belly button. Not cute!
May 16th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
Kyle Johnson says:
We had so much fun tonight Loralee, the yard was fine. I do miss those 4th of July parties though, they were so much fun. Thanks for having the BBQ and thanks for Jon for having a birthday around the sametime that we are visiting.
I cant wait until next year, YELLOWSTONE, our wedding, it will be so much fun, we can have a bbq in yellowstone too
May 16th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Kyle Johnson says:
We had so much fun tonight Loralee, the yard was fine. I do miss those 4th of July parties though, they were so much fun. Thanks for having the BBQ and thanks for Jon for having a birthday around the sametime that we are visiting.
I cant wait until next year, YELLOWSTONE, our wedding, it will be so much fun, we can have a bbq in yellowstone too
May 16th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Steve says:
It isn’t quite like shopping in a store, is it? On the one hand, that is what I like about it. On the other hand, that is how things like this happen.
Steves last blog post..Consumer discount cards for wine
May 17th, 2008 at 5:40 am
Jamie says:
And they didn’t divulge that little tidbit of information?!? Yeah I don’t think I could get past the Jessica Simpson thing either.
But any way, I am sorry the purse was a disappointment.
p.s. I am amazed at how crazy you went in the yard…makes me tired just reading it.
Jamies last blog post..Confession To My Husband
May 18th, 2008 at 5:10 am
loraleeslooneytunes.com » Someone give me a damn paper bag to breathe in before I hyperventiate, turn blue, pass out and die from anxiety, please? says:
[…] portrait shoot the week after we move in. Did I mention that I suck at shopping? I’m the one who bought the fugly Jessica Simpson bag after […]
May 19th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Melanie at Beanpaste says:
I can’t believe the bag sucked in person! Is there nothing that Simpson girl can’t ruin?!?
Melanie at Beanpastes last blog post..This Post Brought To You By My Mother And Her Enormous Hoard of Blackmail Material
May 30th, 2008 at 7:49 pm
loraleeslooneytunes.com » Blah, blah, blah…(Hey, it’s 1:00 in the morning. You REALLY expect me to come up with some witty or relevant post title? GOOD. We’re all on the same page, then.) says:
[…] may remember the massive disappointment that was the ruffled bag that ended up looking like crapola (and was designed by Jessica Simpson. The final nail in the coffin, I’m afraid.). It was my […]
June 18th, 2008 at 1:07 am