Roughly 700 people received an email saying that I was “Searching” for them from reunion.com. I was fiddling with the site today to upload a “Then” and “Now” photo, mainly to assure the world that I no longer had orange, double-processed hair and massive amounts of fatty layers embedded on my face.
I mean, LOOK AT ME:
See?
If YOU looked like this on Senior photo day, you would want a public record that you no longer resemble an obese version of that squeaking muppet, Beeker, too!
Then, the satanic site reunion.com asked me if I wanted to check my email account to see if I had any friends registered. Stupidly, and with the decision making process of a three-toed sloth, I thought, “Sure! Why not?!”, and I allowed it to upload my account.
You know how the process normally goes, right? You can do this pretty easily at Facebook and Myspace and the like. You import your email contacts and it allows you to see who has an account, then you can mark them as a friend or not and ignore the message that says, “Invite your other contacts to blah.com” because you would NEVER send unsolicited invites to people about that sort of thing.
No harm, no foul, right?
Wrong, wrong, WRONGITY-WRONG!!!!!
I had a million things going on this afternoon, and I am to blame for not paying closer attention, but not only did reunion.com upload my entire contacts but it AUTOMATICALLY EMAILED EVERY FREAKING ONE OF THEM saying that I was basically stalking them on the internet.
Anyone here use Gmail?
You do?
Then you know that Gmail automatically saves every.single.email.you.receive to your account.
Like, EVER.
That would include not only people that you know and email but it also includes all the people listed on things like forwards and mailing lists, so you have people you don’t even know stored in your contacts list.
So?
I ended up sending this crap to former professors, almost everyone I have ever worked with on my parent organization, The National Enquirer (You know, from that time I sold them photos off of this blog),extended family I have never met, the co-founder of BlogHer, former co-works, bosses, ex-boyfriends, and most wonderful of all–relatives of ex-boyfriends who consider me a stalking psychopath ANYWAY. (Not that this would add fuel to THAT fire or anything, right?)
I bumbled out a rambling blanket apology to all 700 people saying how sorry and embarrassed I am and that I am basically thinking of spending the rest of my days hiding in a burka and living in the Australian outback, but the fun doesn’t end there. Apparently because of said apology sending I am now LOCKED OUT OF MY DAMN GMAIL ACCOUNT FOR SENDING TOO MUCH EMAIL!
It’s so grand that Gmail thinks I’m a spammer. I am also having such fun with the tons of bounced email messages that my account is wracking up.
Happy, happy, joy, joy.
(Oh, and apparently I also might cause all of you to be on vast lists of spam because I suck further for not BCC’ing and provided a juicy spam list to the masses. GAH!)
What a headache this has all been.
I loathe you, reunion.com.
I really do.
If anyone needs me, I will be curled in the fetal position in my bed with an entire tub of chocolate chip cookie dough and a couple of Velveeta cheese slices. (And a Diet Coke chaser or four.)
Ug.
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