I used to be a regular over at Self-Portrait Challenge until I realized that, um, I am a really crappy photographer. Still, it’s one of the coolest weekly bloggity things out there.
This month’s theme of “Political” does make me want to crawl up into a little hole and die, but since it’s “Memival Week” at Looney Tunes (I am going to spend one week participating in all of those memes and carnivals I just don’t have the discipline to do on a regular basis.) I am just going to have to bite the bullet, deal with the theme, and participate.
I thought instead of one photo that sums up my feelings about how this election is going, I would give you a little photo essay instead:
What? Would I like a moment to answer some questions about Obama, Hillary and McCain about the upcoming elections? Well, let’s see, a good portion of my life is already taken up with incessant news coverage about it, but since this is a rare opportunity…sure! Why not?
Who am I going to vote for? Hmm….I’m not sure.
Which issue do I think is the most pressing problem in America? There is the war, of course… and I think that the economy is… What? Who do I think is the best looking candidate?
Well, I would rather talk about more important issues but if I had to only pick between the three? Probably Obama.
Could we move on to something more relevant, though? I have to run some errands soon.
How do I feel about McCain and the whole “Did he have an affair with a lobbyist so long ago I was still in braces?”
That is a better question, although I think that the way it was done was poor reporting. I think the thing that concerns me more is the “Lobbyist” aspect and that he is not practicing what he preaches because he’s really in bed with a lot of big businesses and…What? Hillary and Don Imus share the same Dry Cleaners and does that make her a racist?
Um, I’m not really sure that matters? Isn’t there another question that…Huh? No…I didn’t really know it was leaked that Bill Clinton is secretly eating at McDonald’s again. Um…Is that really pertinent to the election? Well, it’s a shame that someone from Obama’s camp got fired for saying that he’s not going to be a good first husband because he’s suffering from Post Presidency Depression and that he’s been hitting the fry sauce really hard. That does seem a little juvenile.
Seriously, though…Don’t’ the candidates want to know how I feel about the war or foreign policy concerning…No…I wasn’t aware that Oprah had, “I heart Obama” tattooed on her Va-jay-jay…Um, I don’t know what to say…How about…EWE??
You know, these questions are really starting to piss me off. Can you PLEASE ask me something that is relevant to…Ok, seriously, I do not CARE if McCain thinks Hilary has cankles and NO, I DO NOT WANT TO BUY HIS “Get ‘er done!” TSHIRT!!!
Look at my face. I am done. Pissed. You are taking up a lot of time from my life. Time that I will never get back. I’m giving you one more chance to stop the petty name calling. So, I’m telling you to ask me some REAL questions! Stop with the superfluous crap and, tell me what the candidates want me to know about them.
Do I think that McCain will be soft on immigration because of his change in campaign managers? No, I didn’t know that he lured Pedro away from the Napoleon Dynamite campaign. Having a Hispanic with an unfortunate wig managing your team doesn’t necessarily mean that he is soft on immigration but…What? Hilary says that Tina the Llama asked McCain to stop using her likeness in his campaign commercials and Obama chimed in, ‘Your mom goes to college!”?
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!
I AM SO FREAKING SICK OF ALL YOU!
I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER VOTE FOR A THREE-TOED SLOTH! OR PEE WEE HERMAN!! OR A FREAKING FICUS TREE THAN ANY OF YOU!!!! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM NOT GOING TO VOTE! I AM JUST GOING TO STAY THE FREAK HOME ON ELECTION DAY AND EAT NACHOS, A VAT OF BEN & JERRY’S AND A CHOCOLATE CAKE THAT IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I BECAME A BIG, LARD-ASS, NON-VOTING CITIZEN!!!!!!!!!!”
That helped, but it would be a LOT better if someone could just give me a big freaking remote to fast forward through the next 8 months.
I’m rather tired of it all.