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I used to be a regular over at Self-Portrait Challenge until I realized that, um, I am a really crappy photographer. Still, it’s one of the coolest weekly bloggity things out there.
This month’s theme of “Political” does make me want to crawl up into a little hole and die, but since it’s “Memival Week” at Looney Tunes (I am going to spend one week participating in all of those memes and carnivals I just don’t have the discipline to do on a regular basis.) I am just going to have to bite the bullet, deal with the theme, and participate.
I thought instead of one photo that sums up my feelings about how this election is going, I would give you a little photo essay instead:
Why, hello!
What? Would I like a moment to answer some questions about Obama, Hillary and McCain about the upcoming elections? Well, let’s see, a good portion of my life is already taken up with incessant news coverage about it, but since this is a rare opportunity…sure! Why not?
Who am I going to vote for? Hmm….I’m not sure.
Which issue do I think is the most pressing problem in America? There is the war, of course… and I think that the economy is… What? Who do I think is the best looking candidate?
Well, I would rather talk about more important issues but if I had to only pick between the three? Probably Obama. 
Could we move on to something more relevant, though? I have to run some errands soon.
How do I feel about McCain and the whole “Did he have an affair with a lobbyist so long ago I was still in braces?”
That is a better question, although I think that the way it was done was poor reporting. I think the thing that concerns me more is the “Lobbyist” aspect and that he is not practicing what he preaches because he’s really in bed with a lot of big businesses and…What? Hillary and Don Imus share the same Dry Cleaners and does that make her a racist?
Um, I’m not really sure that matters? Isn’t there another question that…Huh? No…I didn’t really know it was leaked that Bill Clinton is secretly eating at McDonald’s again. Um…Is that really pertinent to the election? Well, it’s a shame that someone from Obama’s camp got fired for saying that he’s not going to be a good first husband because he’s suffering from Post Presidency Depression and that he’s been hitting the fry sauce really hard. That does seem a little juvenile.
Seriously, though…Don’t’ the candidates want to know how I feel about the war or foreign policy concerning…No…I wasn’t aware that Oprah had, “I heart Obama” tattooed on her Va-jay-jay…Um, I don’t know what to say…How about…EWE??
You know, these questions are really starting to piss me off. Can you PLEASE ask me something that is relevant to…Ok, seriously, I do not CARE if McCain thinks Hilary has cankles and NO, I DO NOT WANT TO BUY HIS “Get ‘er done!” TSHIRT!!!
Look at my face. I am done. Pissed. You are taking up a lot of time from my life. Time that I will never get back. I’m giving you one more chance to stop the petty name calling. So, I’m telling you to ask me some REAL questions! Stop with the superfluous crap and, tell me what the candidates want me to know about them.
Do I think that McCain will be soft on immigration because of his change in campaign managers? No, I didn’t know that he lured Pedro away from the Napoleon Dynamite campaign. Having a Hispanic with an unfortunate wig managing your team doesn’t necessarily mean that he is soft on immigration but…What? Hilary says that Tina the Llama asked McCain to stop using her likeness in his campaign commercials and Obama chimed in, ‘Your mom goes to college!”?
GGAAAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!
I AM SO FREAKING SICK OF ALL YOU!
I THINK THAT I WOULD RATHER VOTE FOR A THREE-TOED SLOTH! OR PEE WEE HERMAN!! OR A FREAKING FICUS TREE THAN ANY OF YOU!!!! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I AM NOT GOING TO VOTE! I AM JUST GOING TO STAY THE FREAK HOME ON ELECTION DAY AND EAT NACHOS, A VAT OF BEN & JERRY’S AND A CHOCOLATE CAKE THAT IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD AND IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT THAT I BECAME A BIG, LARD-ASS, NON-VOTING CITIZEN!!!!!!!!!!”
That helped, but it would be a LOT better if someone could just give me a big freaking remote to fast forward through the next 8 months.
I’m rather tired of it all.
sizzle says:
I’m particularly fond of the one pic where you are lowering your glasses. Classic!
sizzle’s last blog post..Shhhhh! It’s a Surprise.
March 25th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Southernbelle says:
I agree, this is going to be the worst eletion in history. None of the candidates are worth a vote!
Southernbelle’s last blog post..Randomness
March 25th, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Jeff says:
I have to say, I make some of those facial expressions when I am “dropping a heavy.” Very funny! And you are VERY photogenic.
Jeff’s last blog post..Stuff, just stuff
March 25th, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Rachel (Louisiana) says:
Heh, heh (Beavis and Butthead laugh) you said va-jay-jay.
This has to be the worst election of all time as far as the ridiculously crappy choices that we have. I agree wholeheartedly, stay home and eat icecream. It’s a much better choice than voting. What would they do if the enitre American population boycotted the election? Would they give us better candidates then?
Rachel (Louisiana)’s last blog post..I wish I could elaborate…
March 25th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Kerri Anne says:
I vote for the three-toed sloth IN a Ficus.
Also: you have pretty teeth.
Kerri Anne’s last blog post..Listen, When All Of This Around Us’ll Fall Over, I Tell You What We’re Gonna Do
March 25th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
hillary says:
Erm … I love your eyebrows. Please may I have them? I’m suffering from eyebrow envy.
hillary’s last blog post..You Know It’s Never Been Easy To Love Someone Like Me
March 25th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Craig says:
They just changed the law here in Utah, so we can buy liquor on Election Day, too! I’ll be Voting While Intoxicated!
Craig’s last blog post..Nothing Like the Real Thing
March 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
holli says:
I’m jealous of how wide you can open your mouth - seriously.
I actually do like one particular candidate - but that’s the beauty.. you don’t have to do anything. I’m just glad you’re back on SPC.
xo
holli’s last blog post..Let the good times… roll!
March 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Craig says:
I could make a dirty response to holli’s comment, but I won’t.
Craig’s last blog post..Nothing Like the Real Thing
March 25th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
loralee says:
Thank you for the restraint, Craig. Truly, you are a gentleman. (Heh)
And? Sorry to all about the eleventyhundred times this was re-published (And for the pointers that my spelling was off. That is what happens when you hit publish without it being perfect. Bah.)
March 25th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Adam says:
Two words, three syllables (and an exclamation point!):
Vote Nader!
Adam’s last blog post..Better know a Blogger
March 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Kimberly says:
Wow, you don’t have any fillings, do you?
Kimberly’s last blog post..Two Years Ago, I Stumbled Upon You
March 25th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
loralee says:
Yes, that would be from three pregnancies where I barfed my freaking guts out 24/7 all nine months. (Terrible genetics and a hard regular Coke habit didn’t help)
I’m not proud of it, but they’ve actually been replaced with white fillings now. (I took these photos a couple of years ago.)
I made myself not photoshop them because then people tell me I’m too fake all the time.
Sigh.
March 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
hairyshoefairy says:
A-freakin’-men.
Gah! I’m so sick of it already.
hairyshoefairy’s last blog post..Peanut’s Bag of Crap + I Bought It!
March 25th, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Angella says:
That second-last photo looks like you are about to open up a can of whup-ass!
American politics leave me confused and bewildered.
Angella’s last blog post..Shhh. Be Vewy Quiet. We Are Hunting Wabbits Easter Eggs.
March 25th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Michelle at Scribbit says:
You’re deep. Very deep.
Michelle at Scribbit’s last blog post..Ma-Ma-Ma-Ma-MY Sedona
March 25th, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Sra says:
I have cankles too… sniff…
March 25th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Jonathan Merchant says:
hahahaha I just completed 2, count ‘em 2 entires comparing Hillary to my children (in the context of lying)…
Even though I leave in ultra conservatism valley here, doesn’t mean McCain’s my choice either, as if I want to spend eternity paying for a war against a foe that’s so broad in scope even I might be one…
That leave Obama, I know he’s a shill for someone, but so far he’s looking like the least evil of the bunch, change…bah it would take a nuke on Washington for any real change to happen (oh crap, now I’m a target…my tinfoil antenna are tingling now!!!)
I’d give them all the last photo, and attach the loudest shrillest scream that lasts at least 20 minutes….
yeah, you can tell how excited I am for November…especially with the E-Voting…cuz we all know how reliable and anti-hackable that is…
Alright so my comment drips sarcasm, but my contempt is real…lol
Jonathan Merchant’s last blog post..To lie or not to lie (part duex)
March 25th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Sra says:
And I’ve been having my fillings replaced with whites as well. Much better that way. Besides, I’m not cool with having metal that includes mercury in my mouth.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
ali says:
i believe that Oprah’s ladybits are called “mingey”
bwahahahaha…see…http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Million_Little_Fibers
ali’s last blog post..of b-rate nursery rhyme proportions
March 25th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Britt says:
Politics make me pull faces, too.
March 25th, 2008 at 3:37 pm
The Brother says:
Barack Hussein Obama. Seriously????? Could that be any weirder? He might be the next incarnation of Jack Kennedy, but I just can’t get past it. I am part of the Shallow Majority! (Although I made the mistake of dissing Hillary in front of Ma the other day. I have since learned to be the Shallow and SILENT Majority - at least at her house!)
I feel the same about McCain as i did about Bob Dole: I’m John McCain. Vote for me … because I’m not the other guy and I really, really, REALLY want to be President! And it’s my turn!
A pox on all their houses!
March 25th, 2008 at 4:20 pm
Lisa says:
this is great! the best SPC this month!
March 25th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
metalia says:
I love this post so, so much.
metalia’s last blog post..Insert Elvis Song Pun Of Your Choice Here
March 25th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
pgoodness says:
I…just…ROFLMAO!! that was great
pgoodness’s last blog post..Easter at our house
March 25th, 2008 at 6:58 pm
Alicia says:
Yes, yes. All the political garbage is getting in the way of a decent conversation. Is it December yet?
Alicia’s last blog post..New Digs
March 26th, 2008 at 12:02 am
Charli says:
I agree with Adam. I say we just all write in votes. McCain kicked butt here in Texas a few weeks ago- a shame really.
And also, I’m no lady, so I’ll just say it: really, Holli? Why is it that you are so jealous? Hmm. I can think of three reasons. And I don’t think it’s because you just really wish you could fit your hand in your mouth. Or one of those really big sammies. I’m just sayin’.
Charli’s last blog post..The Day is Just Not For Parents of Young Children
March 26th, 2008 at 9:17 am
SparklieSunShine says:
Okay the third picture from the bottom is my favorite ever.
I love this! It was hilarious. LOL totally made my morning.
I heart you
SparklieSunShine’s last blog post..#24 Things I Need To Do For Class Tomorrow
March 26th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Erin Evans Taylor says:
Vote for Pedro
Erin Evans Taylor’s last blog post..I Cross My Heart…….. (*wink*)
March 26th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Lianne says:
Tittering here….
I say on my blog that Obama has my vote, but I’m kinda beginning to think that even having it up there makes me appear far more political than I really am.
Now that Tony Blair is out of a job, don’t you think he’d be a good Pres. I mean, at least it would fun to hear him speak.
Lianne’s last blog post..About Me and Men
March 26th, 2008 at 11:09 am
Occidental Girl says:
Oh, yeah! I know. We’ve a long way to go.
Did you see the public television show “Bush’s War”? Man. It was great!
Occidental Girl’s last blog post..Taking Things Too Far
March 26th, 2008 at 11:24 am
Melly says:
Mostly I’m just impressed with how willing you are to take your own photo shoot. I just recently did the same thing for one of my posts on “Hank’s thoughts, Mel’s thoughts” and I took a series of shots, but ended up only using two cause well, sometimes I like to exercise some sort of shame. Just a little, not too much.
Melly’s last blog post..Way Back Wednesday
March 26th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Melain says:
RIEEEGHT?! This might be my favorite post ever. LOL! You so exactly nailed my sentiments on the matter.
Melain’s last blog post..The ABC’s of Melain
March 26th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Doug says:
Fantastic, fantastic, FANTASTIC! Loved all of the pics!
Election thoughts? None now. I was addicted to MSNBC coverage back when I was in California last summer, but pretty much burned out. And now it’s all the latest volley in the Obama/Clinton saga, which all started out so promising but has turned into a complete slug fest. Now I don’t pay attention at all and take naps instead.
You guys need a campaign like Canada. Leaders are elected at party conventions whenever the old leader steps down (or the party votes to kick him out - which can be whenever), and the entire election campaign lasts just 6 weeks. Elections here have to be held at least every 5 years, but are often called much sooner. So yes, we have more elections, but they’re over faster. In the US, it seems like the election campaign started last summer! It’s ridiculous.
Doug’s last blog post..MIA
March 26th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
Elizabeth says:
That was too funny. And certainly enough self-portraits for several months of the “self-portrait challenge”.
Love the pigtails!
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Zook-eriffic!
March 26th, 2008 at 11:50 pm
miriam says:
Hilarious! Makes my whole morning. And these photo’s aren’t so bad! But the thing is…I personally don’t think you have to be a professional photographer to post on SPC…sometimes it’s just fun to play along.
miriam’s last blog post..What do you see?
March 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am