I’m heading up to a mountain lake to chill with friends in a cabin and finally teach my boys to ski.
Yes, I know that while I am usually more of an “Indoor girl”, I can ski.
Seriously, don’t laugh!
I CAN.
SEE?
I’m really excited to teach my boys to ski. I used to go skiing every single weekend all growing up. I started skiing black diamonds because I have the directional sense of dirt and kept getting lost. Once that happens? There is only one way out of it and that is to go DOWN the mountain, my friends.
I actually used to be damn good at it before I fubar’d my back in an auto accident and being thrown and trampled by a horse. My husband didn’t believe me until my brother verified that I used to be awesome. At one point I was working on attempting a back ariel off of a jump.
Now?
Not so much.
I don’t ski black diamonds and I don’t even really dare to ski parallel. I have to be a dorky snowplower.
I have to be uber-cautious when I ski. You know, because of my back. Plus, getting taken down the mountain on a tabboggan by ski and rescue is just not as much of a party as you would think.
I’m realizing that I should make some provisions in case I get up on that mountain and die. What would happen to my poor little plastic chicken, “Hector McCluck” that you all helped name?
  I think he needs an internet godparent.
Since I know that taking on the status of “Internet godparent” to a plastic chicken comes with heavy responsibility, I feel it’s only fair that we make some sort of small incentive to go along with it.
$15.00 Itunes gift certificate to take care of Hector if I bite it.Â
Leave a comment and I’ll draw the winner on Monday-ish.
Any takers?
OMG – I must act fast to be first!!!
I would gladly be the godmother for Hector.
I have never really used itunes but I would definitely take internet godmothering seriously. Just being able to say that I am a godmother sounds really cool.
Although technically I am a godparent to my little bro (and my older brother is his godfather), I prefer to think of myself as his godsister because anything else just sounds Alabama creepy, ya know?
so llc
for us non skiing southern people what is a black diamond? it sounds like it could be painful
be careful
Internet godparent? That’s right up my alley.
Have fun skiing. You’re braver than I!
I know some people at KFC that would be happy to take that little chicken in…
(Guess I won’t be making the godparent cut.)
I’m not worthy!!!!
That picture doesn’t prove you can ski. You could have taken it in your driveway, rotated it a few degrees, and Photoshopped in the background.
I do believe that I could swing being his Godparent. I have experience with other birds (cockatoos, cockatiels, parakeets). . . as well as other -er less active ones like Hector. Plus I have managed to keep my 4 1/2 year old and 9 month old going.
Take care of yourself on the mountain because we are all looking forward to many more posts from you.
I promise that I will school hector in the appropriate metaphysical necessities if selected.
Themes I would teach dear hector,
Internet Heresy
Why Judy is a bitch who deserves to burn in hell.
Diet Coke
While I’m not really interested in god-mothering a plastic chicken (I can barely take care of my own children) I am excited that you are taking your kids skiing. Cleo’s been the past two winters and is having a great time, and we’re going to start Gigi next year. I’m not great at it, but I think skiing (except the expense) is a really great family activity.
Does Hector’s harem come with him? I could use some of those tasty plastic eggs.
I used to be a mogul muncher too… but I am still getting used to these new “shaped” skis. If I take a turn as aggressively as I used to, I get launched into the air, out of control. Takes some getting used to. It’s very fun to teach your kids though – they realize that you can do something besides sit on the couch and yell at them, a revelation which also takes me out of the Godparent scenario, I’m sure.
But have fun anyway, and be careful!
I was BORN to be a godparent to a plastic bird!
I skied quite a bit growing up…gave it a go seven years ago. YOWZERS! I hurt in places I didn’t even know possible! Now that I’m living here I’d give skiing another try but I’m afraid to mess up my back after my back surgery.
Glitter would love to be a big sister.
Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo!
(Isn’t that what godmothers do?)
:o)
I don’t suppose downstairs neighbors are eligible. Too bad really as Gigi and I would be great for Hector.
Well in that case, I kind of hope you bite it. And when I inherit Hector McWhatever, my first act as wicked godmother will be to rename him Stalwart P. Like I always thought he should be named.
: )
If something should happen to you, then Hector can come live down here by the ocean where he will be well tended to by a very loving and rarely ever too rough 4 year old and an insane 1 year old. He shall be carried to and fro, often with hands and shall enjoy a life of sun, luxury and warmth.
Rachel- Can I come and live with you? Sounds peaceful.
:)
Craig, I know for a fact that this:
“That picture doesn’t prove you can ski. You could have taken it in your driveway, rotated it a few degrees, and Photoshopped in the background.”
…is exactly what Lo did. She is a photoshop genius. In fact that photo of herself “touching” Air Supply… completely doctored. She is really a shut in who never ventures out of doors and has a germ phobia (thus explaining why she hates Matthew Mcconaughey)
I’m jealous–perfect ski weather right now!
I think I was born to be a godparent. Yes, I do believe so.
And as of this moment, I’m particularly fond of plastic chickens.
Hector is welcome.
I have experienced a ski patrol rescue and it was way more frightening going down black diamond trails strapped in and bouncing then on two skis. I still have nightmares.
I have one ski-pole in my basement. Why only one? I eject ski poles as if they are handed out free like the flyers people stuff into your pockets as you walk through Times Square. I have lost ski poles in at least two countries and four states. Ski poles are more like fashion accessories to me than useful tools…so can I tell you how happy I am to see you without poles? Please tell me I am not the only freak of nature who can’t coordinate arms and legs well enough to use ski poles! I also hope that my discoordination (is that a word) doesn’t disqualify me from the contest to care for your beloved rubber chicken. Ask OMSH – I am a chicken lover. Even though it is highly unlikely that your Hector McCluck would ever lay a fresh egg for me, I would still care for him as if he might.
I should be Hector’s god-mama. My first name single-handedly proves that I, and I alone, should be Hector’s god-mama. You just can’t beat another Loralee. Face it. It’s true. You can’t. Seriously. Me. Thing two. God Mama. You know it’s true. Grin. xxoo
oh pick me! pick me! I will take such good care of him, and the australian climate would do wonders for his grief (which he surely will have). I promise I wont roast him, even if we get really hungry….
Don’t you have to be Catholic for that? Has Hector been baptized? Is he a GOOD Catholic or just an EASTER Catholic. I guess his plastic egg contributions would be very helpful at that time of year. As his Godmother, I could have him as an alter boy within the year. I will gladly accept this responsibility. Leave it to me; I’ll make you proud.
me, me, me! I wanna be a godmother to someone! Hector is adorable!!
Please, please, please. We promise to come and visit you in May
Well, since my boyfriend contributed to his naming, I suppose it’s only right that we take an interest in his well-being.
Have fun skiing!
i think that it should only be fair that someone who is the exact opposite of you – say, a short, non-magical boobie having, brown-haired southerner – should be the godparent. i mean, i’ve only lost a pig recently, and therefore, i need some solace and another farm animal might just do the trick.
I totally want to be an internet godparent to a plastic chicken
It would be an honor. *curtsies*
(Sorry…watching “Becoming Jane” the other night and have curtsying on the brain because I know I would fall each and every time I had to do it. Grace is not my middle name.)
Oops…that should be “watched” and not “watching.” The brain is fried.
We raised chickens last year. I think that qualifies as experience, doesn’t it? Heaven forbid you leave Hector an orphan…
Being a Godmother to birdie, Hector, would be so great! My two kittens would (eat) love him!
Safe skiing!!–and when in doubt, sit. Always works for me. As does a heavy dose of Bailey’s Hot Chocolate at the end of the day.
TE HE HE have fun sking… I’ve never been, though it is on my to do list…..
Hector McCluck, Love it….. Thanks for making me smile today…
Karen–you slay me!
If you bite it how will we know you bit it? How will Hector know which direction to fly?
Currently (just fyi…) I am NO ONES godparent. I would be an excellent godparent. I would send cards to him on his godparent birthday and everything!! PLUS!! I dont ski, so Id be a safe(er) bet. Yep!
I think the little crab is my favorite. (Have fun!)
I had no idea you were such a ski bunny…errrr….goddess on them thar slopes. Can’t wait for all the sordid details!
Woo! contest! I’m in.
I would take perfect care of the little guy if given the chance.
OK, GUYS! WE HAVE A WINNER.
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I’ll post after dinner.
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