This just in: Hell has frozen over

There are a couple of things going on in my life that are huge.

I can’t talk about the life-changing thing.

(Sorry, I hate it when people bring up things they can’t talk about on their blogs, but I needed to say something about it because I need to talk about it in SOME fashion or I would explode. This blog is also the journal of my life and I need to record it in some small way. Let’s just say that it is both necessary and sucks a duck, ok?)

I CAN talk about a couple of things that I am starting TODAY that are making me freak, though.

Today I start going to the gym.

This means that I am also on a 1,200 to 1,400 calorie a day regime.

Why?

I DO need to do it for my health. I always feel better when I’m working out.

BUT.

My primary motivations boils down to vanity and necessity, my friends.

I put back on some of the pounds that I lost last year to fit into this gorgeous (And custom-tailored) concert dress for my solo performance in “The Messiah”.

I am reprising that role again this year and if I don’t lose those pounds before the end of March I will be singing in front of an orchestra and audience buck nekkid.

(And I would really not like the audience’s eyes to start bleeding, so it really is best for all that I just lose the weight.)

My dress used to fit like THIS:

Currently, my dress fits like this.

I’m not shelling out hundreds of bucks for a new dress, so I suppose the only thing to do is get my heiny to the gym. Don’t worry, I will be safe and responsible. This is not extreme dieting. I still have a lot habits from doing this last year that have stuck, so I am hoping that it is easier.

AND!!!

As of today, I am also taking a break from Diet Coke.

(Yes, those were the sounds of Satan making ice cubes down in the formerly fiery pits of hell.)

No, I have not been abducted by aliens and given a mind transplant and an anal probe. No, my blog has not been hacked. No, this is not a vast right-wing conspiracy.

I.am.doing.this.

For the next 47 days I will attempt to be “Diet Coke Free”. (I can’t bring myself to say “I am giving it up forever”, so I’m just saying I am going to abstain until after my performances are over.)

I don’t know if I am completely crazy or totally brave.

To quote Victoria Beckham, “This is MAJOR.”

I love Diet Coke.

I drink a LOT OF IT A DAY. So much that it is both nauseating to normal people and embarrassing to me. So much that I can’t talk about exact amounts. It is my security, my friend, and my constant companion. I can always rely on it to be there.

It is probably my #2 obsession and addiction and I am going to feel like I’m missing a limb without it in my life.

Not that you need any convincing but just in case you are not grasping the “Bigness” of this decision, see photographic evidence:

Sigh.

Diet Coke, how I shall MISS THEE!

The next few days are not going to be pretty my friends, no not at ALL. I’m giving up Diet Coke, junk food, a lot of my non-junky-but-still-really-not-conducive-to-weight-loss-foods and there’s other stuff going on in my life.

I feel like Linus from Charlie Brown and I am giving up my blankie, but it isn’t just one blankie, it feels more like ELEVENTYHUNDRED BLANKIES.

I hope I don’t totally fall on my ass in front of you all. If I do, I will fess up. While I want to succeed, I’m sure there will be some falling off the wagon, but I need to be accountable to someone.

I have taken measurements and before shots, but I am just too wiped out tonight to post them.

Wish me luck.

Better than luck, if any of you have any low-calorie foods, recipes, snacks or work out tips, let me know.

I am going to need all the help I can get.

P.S.

I know that there are many of you who have significant weight struggles and are probably going ‘Oh, WAH for her, the big whiner!” I get that, I really do. Think of it more this way…I am more frightened about giving up the biggest obsessions/addictions in my life than any amount of weight I have to lose or exercise I have to go through. I need to be accountable to someone. I am not meaning to seem like a whiner or seem like my plight sucks because I have 6 weeks to drop a small amount of weight, really I don’t.

Thank you for understanding.