I realized two things today.
One, little boys can be adorable.
Two, arguments have gotten more complicated as I’ve gotten older and for the MOST part, they just don’t need to be.
(I also realized that it is a damn good thing that “The Gilmore Girls” ended after seven seasons because I cannot stop watching them. Even when I’m doing other things, I just have the audio playing on my media player. Right now, I am hearing Rory tell Logan that he is an insensitive man-whore for screwing all the bridesmaids while they were broken up. It’s a sickness, people. I would probably have to start my own support group if there were more episodes to watch. I’m in the middle of Season 6, and let me tell you, if Lorelai and Luke do not become “Mr. and Mrs. Backwards Baseball Cap” I am going to have a major freak out and probably have to consume vats and vats of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and you KNOW it is bad when I turn to ice cream to sooth my wounded soul because since having my gastric bypass, ice cream makes me really, really sick and nausteated. So, I guess that is really THREE things that I realized today. Four if you count my re-revelation about ice cream.)
What the freak was I talking about, again?
Oh! Words, feelings and little boys.
Got it.
Today, my youngest son, Christopher had a major “Melt down” with his brother.
Christopher has the sweetest heart in the world. He always has. I mean, just look at him!
He is also very emotional. His brother hurts his feelings ALL the time. Especially during after school “Homework Time”. The boys just have difficulty working together. We have the tiniest house in the world and they also both need a LOT of supervision with their homework, so it isn’t possible to have the work in different areas. They often fight and it upsets him and he often ends up taking it out on me and stomping off to his room with exclamations that he is “Never talking to you again. Mama!!!!!”.
Time passes and then he always feel so bad about getting upset with me.
Sure enough, after today’s outburst and after he had time to settle down, a paper airplane came sailing into my bedroom where I was watching episode 458 of The Gilmore Girls folding laundry.
It said “Unfold this paper”.
So, I did.
“Dear Mom, I’m so sorry I said those things earlier. I hope that you forgive me. SORRY”
I called out to him, but he didn’t answer. Knowing that he can be shy about apologies until he feels like he has REALLY apologized, I didn’t push it.
Sure enough, another plane came sailing into the room:
And then another, complete with honey dripped from his contraband PB & honey sandwich he sneaked out to make:
I knew when I started getting tiny planes made out of PostIt notes that I was either going to have to buy a custom-sized golf cart and bell tower for Tattoo to start announcing plane arrivals on Fantasy Island, or Christopher had to come and talk to me.
“I ran out of paper”
“Mom i can’t do my homework cause of brother.”
Christopher came in with his eyes big and wide and we had a long talk about how hurtful it can be when you say things out of anger. Especially when you take anger and frustration that you have with one person out on another.
He felt bad and apologized and we had about 1o minutes of “Huggies” and “Ticklies”.
After he left to do his homework, I realized the effect all of this had one me. When I was dealing with him, I was in “Parent Mode” and dealing with the situation at hand, not analyzing how I felt about it.
His outburst made me feel bad.
The little planes made me feel better.
Seeing a simple “I am sorry” fixed it.
1+2=3
Simple.
I think deep down, so many of my problems come down to this. I get all wrapped up in complications, debates over who is right and who is wrong, issues and definitions, but today, it just seemed so freaking simple: It came down to saying you’re sorry for something you have done and meaning it.
I’ve been complicating things WAY too much, I think.
Huh.
How ’bout that?
It almost makes me want to go get into an argument with someone to test it out.
Maybe after I finish seeing if Rory is going to move back in with Logan…
Filed under: 
He’s a sweety. My son is big on airplane notes too. Must be a dude thingy…
Now I’m gonna go test your theory and fight with my husband …see if you’re right.
Wink, wink.
Aww! He IS a totally sweet boy. I love the post-it ones.
I’m a freakin’ GG fanatic. I still watch the reruns all the time. It’s rather ridiculous cuz I’ve seen all of them eleventy billion times but I just can’t get enough.
That is so sweet. :)
It totally sounds like something my oldest would do. He’s a very sensitive and thoughtful little guys. He’s left us lots of little notes all around the house on post its that say things like “I (heart) U” and “Liam Rocks!” Heh.
You have the most amazing sons. You are a great mother! And yes, you have hit on a very important truth…if you hurt someone, say you are sorry! It IS simple, isn’t it!
Love the hugs and tickles part!
Huh.
You are a wise Mommy, and your boys make me want to squeeze them…
Because they remind me of mine.
Saying “sorry” is so simple, and yet so underused…
What a sweetheart. I love that he feels bad and thinks to appologize. You must be doing something right. Did you read Camille’s entry last week about saying sorry? You guys are priceless….
you have to keep those cute notes forever….they are so cute…
I hate having to apologize when I know I’m wrong, especially doing it face to face. I’m always so embarrassed. I’m about 48 seconds away from employing the paper airplane method.
Aww! That is SO sweet! I love the planes! I hope one day I have boys half as sweet as yours.
(Omg! Gilmore Girls? My secret obsession! When I am not watching Grey’s it is SO Gilmore Girls. I have every damn season and I watch them over and over again when I am alone. It’s an addiction. I almost wrote a whole post the other day about how much I envy Sookie’s wardrobe. I stopped myself luckily, but I still envy it!)
Too precious for words. Kids always make me think about things in simplistic terms. Their lives are so uncomplicated, it makes me wonder why we make ours so complicated.
i still watch the gilmore girls on ABC family every day. it is indeed a sickness for which there is no cure.
sometimes the thing that touches your heart the most is an “i love you” from a child.
Cute story. I was a sensitive kid, too, and I remember writing apology notes to my mom. I hope mine had the same effect on her as Christopher’s had on you.
When we were watching The Gilmore Girls (we got through season 6 about a year ago, and now we’re just waiting for the opportunity to borrow season 7 from my sister), I had dreams about the show all. the. time. That’s how involved I was. Scary.
That is soooooo sweet…those airplanes are adorable. Clever, too!
It seems I need to check out Gilmore Girls.
Just freaking adorable!
Ohhh. So so cute! I love him. That has to be the sweetest thing I’ve ever ever seen.
You missed a step
1. Say you’re sorry
2. Mean it
3. Mention that YOU TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!
3a. If it’s a cop, flash cleavage (but not to the boys. This will only prompt more questions and wide-eyed expressions)
= 4
That is the cutest/sweetest thing ever. I love that he had to start using post-it notes LOL…what a sweetie!!
Oh that story about your son made my heart melt. I hope Sam grows up to be so sweet and sensitive:)
That’s about the cutest thing ever.
I RAN OUT OF PAPER?
The cuteness.
I’ll fight with you if you want…
Oh, man! How cute. I mean, really.
I liked the message you got from it, too.
You’re on a Gilmore Girls? Honey, come on over because I CANNOT HELP MYSELF!!! I am on season 7, and I will not spoil it for you but there are good episodes to be had yet. There’s a scene coming up in season 6 where, shall we say, grievances are aired? Anyway, it’s well-done, and quite satisfying to watch. In fact, I watched that scene at least three times.
Sad, I know.
Nice to know I have a fellow sucka – I mean, Gilmore watcher!
That is completely adorable. Be sure to put those notes somewhere safe.
My heart? JUST MELTED.
it’s amazing what a sincere “i’m sorry” can do
(and to answer your question on my blog… yes, the opera in did was La Traviata)
Profound! It’s funny, too, that we’ve known it all along. I guess as we get older we become more prone to pride–I have a really hard time apologizing.
That is too cute. You should pat yourself on the back for raising a future man who knows how to apologize. Kudos!
I can’t stand homework time after school. It should be banned. My two girls are tired and grumpy Witchy-poos after school, then I gotta make ‘em do homework AND cook dinner? Sorry…didn’t mean to go off like that.
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