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I got pulled over last night.
It wasn’t too bad because I was coming back from an AWESOME concert. I went with my friend, Mary Ellen, to see Air Supply in concert.
I drove a total of 6 hours to Nevada and sat next to a guy that reeked of Marlboro Reds and Jack Daniels to do so.
Hey, we have already CLEARLY established my Dork Status in the “About Me”segment of this blog AND and it is also CLEARLY stated in“The Rules” section that I heart Air Supply, so any of you who are feeling betrayed or are in a state of nauseating horror can just bite me.
Well…OK…given the circumstances and the fact that I am well aware that this is a band made entirely out of Velveeta, you can probably still feel nauseating horror. You have that right. However, I see no reason for feelings of betrayal. You were warned.
It pretty much rocked the house. The venue was small, these guys still sound amazing and I had the.best.time.ever.
AND!!!
I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!!!!!
Although, we figure that the one I touched is really the “Supply” segment because he is the lyricist and the only one of the two that plays an instrument. The other guy that resembles Bilbo Baggins is probably the “Air” part, since he has a higher voice than Mickey Mouse. So…I guess this means that I actually touched “Supply”.
I won’t drone on and on about the concert, but I will say that the cover of Celine Dion’s “You’re my lady” was pretty sweet.
Hee.
The drive back was a bitch because I was tired. The concert got over at 10:30 and we had 3.5 hours of driving on some of the flattest, most boring stretch of highway ahead of us. (Ever heard of The Bonneville Salt Flats? Yah. We were there.)
UG.
Other than being tired and driving too fast through lots of flat, foggy surface, not much happened on the trip aside from wondering if the very creepy guy in line at the truck stop soda fountain we refuled at was really a serial killer. He whistled incessantly and loitered around me a really long time. It was not too difficult to imagine him calmly whistling as he strangled and dismembered someone, but I’ve probably just been watching too much TV lately. (You think?)
Things did pick up in the suburbs of Salt Lake.
I got pulled over by one of Utah’s finest.
Crap.
A speeding ticket was sooooooooo not on my agenda for the evening.
The cop came to the passenger side window. I could tell right away that he was a good humored fellow with twinkly eyes. Even though he was lovely and nice, I still get terribly nervous around cops and pressure of speech and Nervous Donkey Laughter* kicks in.
You know what Nervous Donkey Laughter is. It’s, well…nervous and donkey-like.
In other words, it’s annoying as hell.
“Hello, officer! You’re on the wrong side of the car!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“I’m on the safe side of the car, Ma’am”
“OH! OF COURSE, Officer”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“You’re going 83 in a 65, are you in a hurry for something?”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“What?”
“We just came back from seeing Air Supply in Wendover and it was the best concert, well, it WAS kind of annoying that they wouldn’t let us inside the doors until 8:00 and it was freezing and we were all just standing around waiting and waiting, although, I suppose it was fine because we did have heaters to stand around and the concert was great, but Wendover is really far out in the middle of NOWHERE and it was really easy to drive too fast probably because, you know, the salt flats are there and they have speed racing out there for Pete’s Sake, and we’ve been driving FOREVER except for that little stop off we had to get gas in Tooele, and by the way, you may want to investigate a creepily incessant whistler that is hanging around the Flying J because while I don’t think that there have been any reported murders in that area of The Great Salt Lake, you can never be too careful in such a desolate area, which is also why I was probably speeding just now, you know, because the area WAS so desolate, I am just a little checked out on my speed and then my friend was telling me this story about how a friend of hers just moved from her hometown to live with her kids and decided that they were not very nice to her and so she ended up moving across the country with her other three girls and got remarried a former classmate of hers from high school a month after his wife died and it turns out that he’s a Baptist Preacher and apparently they have horses and she’s found Jesus and..and…and…I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY. ”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter!)
(Nervous Donkey Laughter!!)
(Nervous Donkey Laugher!!! )
“Sounds like you really like Air Supply”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter )
“How far do you have left to go?
“Logan!”
(Nervous Donkey Laughter)
“That is pretty far. It seems like you had a good time tonight, it would be a shame to ruin it with a ticket. Make sure you slow down.”
“I TOUCHED AIR SUPPLY!!!!!”
(Yup. You guessed it. More Nervous Donkey Laughter.)
I am totally shocked that he didn’t make me do a field sobriety test. My friend, Mary Ellen was shocked that I didn’t get ticketed.
“I can’t believe you got out of a ticket talking about Air Supply”
“Never underestimate the power of Air Supply and Nervous Donkey Laughter, my friend.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
It was one of the best concerts, ever.
Now, I just have to find tickets to see Neil Diamond…
*Thanks to Jessica for the completely accurate description.
Erika says:
so what you’re saying is, you touched air supply?
January 26th, 2008 at 4:49 pm
loralee says:
Yes.
I.TOUCHED.AIR.SUPPLY.
HEE!!!!
January 26th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Angella says:
I am placing my vote for a sound clip of the nervous donkey laughter.
January 26th, 2008 at 6:17 pm
Sharon says:
OK, I’m GLAD you are posting again, glad you saw Air Supply (whoever they are), and glad you didn’t get a ticket.
Now…relax…relax…breathe deeply… relax…and take a nap already!
January 26th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Charli says:
OHHH! Josh Gracin is going to be there in Feb.!!! Mmmmm, I love him. He’s my ring tone right now.
January 26th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Julie says:
I like Air Supply–and I think I would have much rather touched “Supply” rather than “Air”. Where did that part of the post go? That was funny!
January 26th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
Holly says:
I want to hear more about the touching. Were you pulled up on stage?
January 26th, 2008 at 7:42 pm
holli says:
I really loved Air Supply - I would have gone to see them in concert. Although I would rather see Air.
I so want to see Neil Diamond - I keep missing him… and my chances are starting to get slim!!
I’m glad you had a good time, and got out of the ticket! I’m glad you’re feeling better.
January 26th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
glittersmama says:
You got me all giddy-like reading this post. I think I’ll go dig out my Air Supply CD. Too bad it’s not a tape.
January 26th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
Bridge says:
This just totally cracked me up!
January 26th, 2008 at 9:14 pm
rima says:
I am so jealous that you saw Air Supply in concert. “Making Love Out of Nothing At All” is like my (secret) anthem. I happen to like Velveeta sometimes.
January 26th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
Nooncy says:
very funny, somehow I don’t think that would have worked for me.
January 26th, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Michelle at Scribbit says:
You’re so funny.
I’m amazed you got out of it–I’ve never been that lucky. Maybe the cop was an Air Supply Fan too
January 27th, 2008 at 12:05 am
hairyshoefairy says:
Perhaps I should try the nervous donkey laughter. Think it works on Nevada officers? That’s where we always get a ticket. I’m telling you, since we moved to SF we have single-handedly paid for Wells, Nevada to repave their entire town 4 times at least.
Also, I can’t believe YOU TOUCHED “SUPPLY” OF AIR SUPPLY!
January 27th, 2008 at 12:19 am
Melly says:
that’s good you didn’t get tased.
January 27th, 2008 at 2:47 am
Sharon says:
Just found out that Air Supply is coming to Walker! They will be playing at the Casino on March 1st. Do you want me to go and touch them for you???
January 27th, 2008 at 4:58 am
Loralee2 says:
So. I have this feeling that what you’re REALLY saying is that you touched Air Supply. Grin.
January 27th, 2008 at 6:03 am
Invader Trent says:
Lucky for you I’m, a cop. I would have let you slide on the speeding by given you something for going to an Air Supply concert. Then given you literature to get tested for any ASTD’s.
January 27th, 2008 at 8:39 am
sarah bean says:
i need two things
1 - to know HOW you came to be standing on stage next to supply to be doing the touching
and 2 - a sound clip of this infamous donkey laughter, if there isn’t already one, in which case a link.
please.
thank you.
you touched air supply!!!!!
January 27th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
jess says:
lmao - thanks for the props.
what is it about nervous donkey laughter and COPS???
and why is that so damn FUNNY???
January 27th, 2008 at 1:51 pm
Lisa says:
I could ALMOST hear the donkey laughter… That is too funny.
January 27th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Angela says:
OH! I’m so super glad you had such a good time AND that you got to TOUCH AIR SUPPLY!!
PLUS the cop let you out of a ticket! WOOOO!!!!
January 27th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Ashley says:
Hi, I found your blog through the comment feed on Angella’s. Your story is too funny, made me laugh, thanks!
Congrats on not getting the ticket, and don’t worry, I think the donkey laughter is a natural reaction to an uncomfortable situation. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.
January 28th, 2008 at 12:16 am
Jennifer says:
If you find Neil Diamond tickets, I’ll go with you!
I’m amazed at your wiley donkey laughing prowess! Nice work!
January 28th, 2008 at 6:31 am
MaryEllen says:
cannot wait for out next great adventure. They did rock, we did touch them, and it was fabulous! Wahoo!!
January 28th, 2008 at 8:33 am
katie fox says:
i love air supply!
and i LOVE neil diamond!
January 28th, 2008 at 8:41 am
justme says:
Wow that was an entertaining post. Glad you had fun at Air Supply and how cool is that that you didn’t get a ticket! And if you ever get tickets to Neil Diamond you better invite me!
January 28th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Pink says:
you know you’re retarded right? and not in the good way! lol. i can’t believe he didn’t make you do a sobriety test either. shoot. i asked directions from a cop once and he asked me if i’d been drinking. i told him the truth - no drinking, i am just directionally challenged in the dark. he drove me to the main highway.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:11 am
Charli says:
Oh, I forgot to add that there are several guys blatantly checking out your ass in that picture!
January 28th, 2008 at 10:18 am
LarryLilly says:
Air supply, hum, next thing we find out you have ALL of Millie Vanillis albums PLUS the Carpenters!
January 28th, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Amy says:
That is a real pic? Not photoshopped?? I am impressed like only a true air supply fan could be.
I think I just woke my kids up from their afternoon nap when I read your exchange with the police. HAHAHAHA!
January 28th, 2008 at 1:50 pm
She Likes Purple says:
I get so nervous around cops too. Once I got pulled over for not stopping right at the white line but past it. He asked if I had been drinking and I said, “Yes! I mean no! Really, no. I’m just nervous.” He actually laughed and let me go. He must have sensed I was all dork, not all alcoholic.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
180/360 says:
I have a terrible nervous laugh, too. That’s awesome you didn’t get a ticket though!
January 28th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
moosh in indy. says:
Oh you never cease to amaze.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:46 pm
AMomTwoBoys says:
I’m SO jealous. Air Supply Rocks. Totally. And you used “Velveeta” in your post. Air Supply + Velveeta = Awesome in my book.
Nice work on the ticket. I’m totally shocked he didn’t think you’d been drinking. Maybe if you’d said “I touched Air Supply” one more time.
February 2nd, 2008 at 9:58 am
Mr Lady says:
Did you just talk smack about VELVEETA?
I am sure there were more important highlights of that post, but YOU JUST TALKED SMACK ABOUT VELVEETA.
(Dude, you totally touched Air Supply)
February 2nd, 2008 at 10:38 am
Adria says:
Just wanted to lyk that your sidebar link to “I touched Air Supply” is not pointing to this post. But I was dying to know so I searched around a little.
July 22nd, 2008 at 4:25 pm