“Jon?”
“Yes?”
“It’s really snowing hard outside. It’s really cold outside. The roads are really horrible outside. AND, the heater must be off because it’s really freezing in here.”
“And? Your point?”
“I think you should stay home with me today. You know, not only because you and I haven’t seen each other for two weeks but ya know…It’s coooooold and snoooooowing and the roads are reeeeeeeaaaaallllly horrible.”
“I drive a Jeep, baby. It’s pretty much peeing itself with excitement over the chance to tackle these roads.”
“Well..It’s still REEEEEAAAAALLLY cold outside.”
“I’m fat. Fat people love the snow. I have an insulate lining of blubber to shield me from the elements.”
“So, are you telling me that you are like a Penguin? Are you going to have to march two months to get to the ocean to eat after hatching a baby-penguin from its shell?”
“Nah. I’m more like a big, fatty walrus.”
“Ug! Why? With those hideous, big teeth?”
“All the better to eat you with.”
“I’m going to pretend that you didn’t say that. Are you sure that you can’t be a cute, fuzzy, baby seal?”
“Um…NO. Pretty much never. I would consider being a killer whale, though and club a few for fun.”
“I’m totally going to report you to PETA for that. You’d be the first killer whale in history to be picked by an animal rights organization.”
“And like most of their other endeavors, that would be really useful.”
“You are just a tiny, fuzzy, animal hater. HEY! Where are you going?”
“To shower. I have to go to work.”
“So while you and your insulating fatty layer hunt and gather you are going to leave your poor walrus mate shivering and defenseless in the harsh, hideous cold?”
“Nature’s cruel, baby. Nature’s cruel.”
“Fine. Drive safe to the office,Fatty.”
“Thanks. I’ll try to remember to pick up some baby seal jerky on the way home.”
Stumble it!
Filed under: 
Your husband is just TOO funny!
hahaha!
You guys crack me up ;)
Hahaha! Sounds like fun there.
Yesterday I read your story of your holiday in Scotland and the UK. I am from The Netherlands, so very nearby and perhaps I will go to Scotland soon too. Your stories sounded perfect. My husband went walking the West Higland trail twice. This is a walk through the Highlands of Scotland. I did not go though, am not a big fan of walking 5 days in a row for 8 hours a day…
Awww! Cold weather should be a good enough reason to stay at home in bed with you. lol. At least you tried!
Plus at least it lead to this fantastic conversation.
lmao i too tried the its to cold to go to work thing…i find groping works much better as a side tracking method, then once you know they are good and late then he would HAVE to call in…
That conversation cracks me up!
You guys are too funny!
I think i need to send this to my husband!
Y’all are so funny! I love some of the conversations between you.
hahaha! too funny!
Funny, your conversations with your mate sound just like the ones I have with mine.
And my hubs has an insulating layer of flab too! LOL.
LOL!! Can’t stop laughing here – this is a great conversation. Thanks for sharing it!
okay, that was pretty funny, but you two have way to vivid imaginations and WAY too much time on your hands.
baby seal jerkey?
Sharon,Kelly,Angella:
Thanks, much!
Diana:
Welcome, welcome! I love that you read the posts about my trip. It was my life long dream and I LOVED IT! So glad you said, “HI!”
Angela:
I agree
Noah’s Mom
You’re right, it usually does do the trick. Hee.
Supreme ruler:
May I say that I absolutely LOVE your user name? HA HA HA!
Jennifer:
I find it comforting that others seem to have these same conversations.
Rachel:
And you get to see some of them LIVE, you lucky, lucky girl! :)
Raygon:
THANK YOU!
Redneckmommy:
It is often infuriating how freaking WARM he can be in insanely cold temperatures!
Still…He is an awfully nice heater.
pgoodness:
It was pretty dang funny.
Pink:
I usually do have way too much time on my hands. Jon works like a dog, though (Which is part of the begging him to stay home thing). These moments of banter are sometimes all we have. Arg. ;)
Jerky is the official food of The House of Joy. We eat the bison kind though, not the seal kind.
That sounds like a good, healthy marriage! LOL!