Is it totally insane and unreasonable that I am freaking out about an event that is so far away on the calendar that I could almost gestate an entire human being in the amount of time between now and then?
I thought so.
Yet here I am doing that VERY thing, dammit.
I will just have to plead “BlogHer Newbie-itis” and hope you seasoned attendees forgive me.
First things first:
I cannot wait to go to BlogHer ’08. I love San Fransisco and I am so excited for the classes and to meet bloggity people that I read and admire. I have so many things that I am hoping to learn. There could not be a more perfect theme for me. I know JACK about marketing myself or my blog so I am eager to gobble up every bit of knowledge I can get my hands on during my four days in San Fran.
I want to have a blast.
This whole experience is a pretty big deal to me, yet here I am with my application filled out and hesitating at hitting the “Submit” button. Reality is sinking in and part of me is thinking, “What the HELL are you doing, Loralee?”.
I didn’t feel like I was ready to attend last year. It was too big, I was too small and too “DUH”. I felt I needed one more year to prepare and feel adequate.
Thing is? I still don’t know if I feel adequate OR ready.
It may seem silly to some of you, but I feel a bit overwhelmed.
Due to confusion about room pricing I have to find a room, a roomie, and figure out just what the freak I am supposed to be registering for and not. I have NO idea which package would be the best experience for me. I’m not even sure how long to book a room for. When do most people arrive? When do they leave? When do they start breathing into paper bags while trying to figure all of this stuff out?
I have about a month to finalize and register, but all of the options are making my head spin a little bit.
The worst part?
I am just beginning to think of the million and one social ramifications of it all.
Like finding a (Somewhat) sane person that would be willing to sleep in a bed with me and that will (Possibly) see me naked at some point over the weekend. Hopefully, Jess can go. If not? I might a little bit screwed and have to miss the party altogether.
Then there is that whole pesky issue of wondering if I am way out of my league or if I will know anyone there or if three years of conference cliques will be impenetrable to a new person.
Will I make an ass out of myself?
Thank the Lord I don’t drink, but I CAN see myself being hickishly over-friendly! And Bubbly!! And like the clueless dork that runs around at the 10-year reunion telling girls that could give a rat’s ass about her that they should totally have a slumber party and braid each other’s hair!!!
Did I mention the pressure of speech?Â The LOUD pressure of speech??
Is all just too much of a headache to deal with?
You know where all of this is going.
You don’t? REALLY? Oh, come on, I am not that unpredictable, people! It’s going to the inevitable question, “Will anyone like me?”
I have SO got to get a new question in my life. Or at least one that FIGHTS THE DAMN CLICHE..I’d settle for that. Maybe.
I could use some advice about the Whole Ball of Shenanigans that is BlogHer.
I have a feeling that in the end this is just going to take a big freaking leap of faith on my part. I need to stop being a big baby and scardy cat.
Fingers crossed, yo.