I enjoy “Experimenting” as much as the next person. I mean, I don’t get crazy and involve things like yaks, ninjas, midgets or have a desire to get jiggy with other couples in the neighborhood, but I do like to be creative in the sack.

However, since I am not Gumby and have several herniated disks and the flexibility, there are times that my husband suggests something that just leaves me dumbfounded. Maybe it is my lack of mechanical reasoning or something but I swear there are some positions that I just cannot believe can be successfully executed by humans. Invertebrates, maybe, but certainly not an almost 33-year-old who can’t even manage to sit Indian Style comfortably.

Tonight is a pretty good example.

“There is no WAY. I would get freaking carpet burn on my shoulders. Either that or you’d drop me on my head. Who can actually DO this, anyway?”

“I wouldn’t drop you on your head. I can lift you with my pinkie fingers. AND…Lots of people like The Piledriver.”

“Obviously, those people are members of Cirque di Soleil. 98% of them can probably style their hair with their feet. While playing the piano and finger painting at the same time. However, if you can manage to get me a body and salary like any one of them we can renegotiate.”

“So…I take it The Conquress of the Cow is out, too?”