As many bloggers know, when you have a blog, you get emails about your blog. On occasion, I like to share some of these with you all. Some because the are ludicrous and written by incensed and angry Amway representatives, some by wretched trolls, and some by a brother who objects to reading about his baby sister’s purchase of “Naughty Toys” on the Internet.I share other correspondence because a topic has taken off in a storm of emails that light up my inbox, but it is rarely/barely mentioned on my blog and the poor comments section is left with the sound of lonely, chirping crickets playing. I think it is because often people are just shy and/or uncomfortable.
Since I have a strong feeling this is going to be one of “Those topics”(By the 8 emails I have gotten in the whopping 4 hours the previous post has been up. And hey, feel free to continue to email me, I like it. I just can’t guarantee that I’ll be able to get back to you for a bit.), I would like to just address it and nip the rest of it in the bud.
Topic?
Cleavage. Specifically, MY cleavage.
Subtopic?
My cleavage in yesterday’s post photos.
Yah. Looks freaking huge, huh?
Thus, the emails start arriving. So far they have all been funny, curious or light hearted. I hope sincerely it stays this way because I really don’t need nastiness or to be told I look freakish.
Here’s a pretty good sample of what most of them entail:
Ok, ok, so you’re probably online right now…and I was just reading your blog…and, um, I don’t know how to really say this without um…saying, dude your boobs are huge?!
Have i just not noticed before? or perhaps it’s the mumu snapshots? :)
My Reply:
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
And I paid dearly for them! ;)
Seriously, though. I noticed the same freaking thing. It’s no secret I had my chest “Done” but I swear to everything that this is the most freakishly huge they have ever looked. THOSE SHIRTS! ACK! It is the reason they ended up in the “REJECT” pile. It looks like someone just took two cantaloupes and shoved them in my bra.
I have never regretted having surgery, but when I saw those photos I did for a bit. Then I looked in the mirror and followed my husband around all day yipping “Are you SURE my breasts aren’t too ginormous??!!” (Yah. I know. Stupid question to ask a husband.)
I am actually getting a few (5 so far) emails saying the same thing. Something new to stress over and laugh about simultaneously
Frick! Frack! Fricken Fracken suckasuckaSUCK.
It’s a quandary, people.
I am pretty open about the fact that I “Reclaimed my bosoms” in a surgical way. I’ve written about it before, so click here
if you want to know the whys the hows and see “Before” and “After” photos (In a very non-naked way. Sorry.).
My chest seems to fluctuate in size. Not literally, but seriously, this photo is also me, after surgery and 10 lbs heavier. SEE WHAT I MEAN?
I didn’t want to be “TOO big” and there are a few times I feel that I am. Not many, mind you, but some. Friday night would have been one of those times. While I think part of the problem was the bra I was wearing, it brings up a more complicated issue. That would be that I don’t really think that I have the right to bitch about anything regarding my surgery. I did it. ON PURPOSE. With giddy, deliberate glee. It’s like someone said once when I was feeling insecure and hulking, “It’s hardly fair to ask opinions on how it looks when you can’t undo it!”. Very true. I can hardly whine and moan that I look like I’m nursing *fetchtuplets round the clock at times, now can I?
Still, I feel an obligation to speak about my experience as honestly as I can because I have a lot of people ask me what having implants is like. I say they are 93% AWESOME.
But. (You knew the but was coming, didn’t you?)
There are times I think “Was it worth it?”,”Man, these things are too big”, “Whoa, that felt weird” or “I look like a paragraph of a romance novel where they start mooning about ‘Bossoms heaving and springing forth’”. (That would be in a bad way, people.)
Usually these thoughts don’t last long because I am genuinely happy with the results of my surgery. But still, when I see photos like the ones I put up yesterday, or I get emails from people who think I should be ashamed that I had plastic surgery, I have insecurities galore.
Maybe it is weird to get emails about your boobs. Maybe it is weirder to write and publish about getting emails about your boobs. Maybe it is weirdest of all to freak out about any of this first place, but that is what I do: I read, I freak, I write, I publish, I freak some more. It’s just who I am, people.
So…There you go. To everyone who wondered.
*Attention, attention! New Loralee word: “FETCHTUPLETS” Definition: 75 trillion babies. Also used in comparisons to describe baby gut, stretch-marks, and/or how big you felt in your previous pregnancies.
My mom had her chest done (after breast cancer), but she has the same problem. Some times she’s happy with them and other times she worries they are too big. Especially when some photos seem to amplify them. But I guess I feel bad about certain body parts from time to time when a photo intensifies it and I haven’t even ‘altered’ myself!
I have always had ginormous boobies. How do you think I snagged Jeremy?! He likes to remind me that this is how.
Well, they are real, and I plan on getting a lift in a few years (dropping weight has made them freakishly Nation Geographic and gross) and they do give the ol’ back a pain, but I am sure you can totally feel me here.
Oh, and most tops like that- I just tryed on like that same one a week ago- will make them look big. They are so fitted in the chest and then come in at the rib cage (making your “freakishly large” ribcage look tiny, I might add, that it is bound to happen.
PS- using IE that Twitter problem is still there…
Funny, I think that they look fine, and you know that. Take care there. Miss you all
Jill-My reason was plain vanity. It’s true, though. Some days things bug me more than others.
Charli-I had to have a lift as well, but it was because of the weight loss. I wish I had enough natural material to only have to have had the lift, that would have been great.
Kyle-Why thanks! We miss you guys, too.
See? I was right. This is one of “Those” posts.
“Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.”
Hmmm…Now besides freaking out about this post being lame and TMI, I am also wondering why my last comment failed to post in white.
Hmmm…
Loralee,
I think you did a brave thing getting your boobs done. I would have, too. You’re so young to have all that sagginess! Yup, I’m a feminist and all that, but I would have done it, too. I figure I’ll get a lift one day. Vanity aside, it just hurts to have big boobs (I’m a 38D, naturally). I couldn’t imagine having them sag prematurely (I hope it stays that way). It must’ve thrown your body all off. I think yours look fantastic, and I even sometimes question if mine are too big, and they’re there naturally! So no worries. We all go through these conundrums. Just enjoy the attention you get… :)
Chirp!
Funny. No one ever accuses me of “having work” done. Just can’t figure out why….
LOL
The are fine… Remember this comes from one who has seen them NAKED!!!
By the way… do you have a larger version of that photo of us?
*sigh* and I thought you were all for real :(
whoah, whoah, whoah, whoah, WHOAH–
“people who think I should be ashamed that I had plastic surgery”
um, excuse me?! We’re all just jealous that you didn’t get big boobs from taking birth control so we could all go out and get us some–(seriously, my heart sank when you said it was surgery!) LOL.
I’ll come clean. I’m one of the “Why did you DO that, Loralee?” emailers. I wasn’t trying to make you feel ashamed about making a decision I just think that it is sad when a beautiful, funny, talented and smart woman such as yourself thinks that they need to be sliced open to make themselves into “More”. Woman have been pushed into focusing on their appearance so much due to the drive and focus of sex that it is sickening. I was just upset that it had happened to you as well. I know you are capable of decision-making,and I know I probably came off as strange, but but cosmetic surgery is a passionate subject with me. I hope took it in the spirit meant!
Whatever, kip.
When I saw that picture of you the other day I said out loud, “Loralee, your boobs are tremendous!” And I meant that in a fabulous way.
Loralee: I fully support the vanity reasoning too! I’m just glad that the advances are there in the medical world for people who want/need these enhancements for whatever reason they choose! :-)
I had the most witty, cogent, and pithy post imaginable all typed out. Then, I erased it all.
Sometimes, it’s better just to walk away …
Yes, especially when you are MY BROTHER.
HE HE HE HE