I am such a freaking, frickin’, flippin’ dorkadorkaDORK.
Y’all will have to put up with two posts today. I’m stressed and when I’m stressed, I write.
I just sent a rambling, incoherent email to a high school friend I haven’t seen in 15 years AFTER having a rambling, incoherent conversation on the phone with his lovely wife. He sent me a sweet card after my son, **Matthew died . The envelope and card got separated so I had no idea where he lived.Â I have been trying to find him to say thank you for the last 3 years because he was like a brother to me back then and it meant a lot to get his note.
I finally got his contact information today and just called without really even thinking about what I was going to say. His wife must think I am an insane person. Well, we all know that is partially true, but insane in a non-lovable and dorkishly endearing way like I usually am. I should know that I babble when I’m nervous and I was SO nervous.
Too many years of being an insecure fat girl with REALLY unfortunate hair, I guess. Too many years of caring what people think about me. Plus, he was one of those amazing, put-together people that you know is going to be a fantastic dad, husband, person and scoutmaster. You know? People who are kind and lovely but who have often snubbed me for being a weirdo. I am more comfortable with competent people since toiling for 3 years as PTA President, but I am always afraid of them finding out my mistakes and chaotic personality flaws.
This is one of those things I probably should have thought through before doing. Oh, and EDITING WHAT I WRITE FROM TIME TO TIME WOULD BE NICE. You would think I would learn, but I never do.
I will just have to have faith that he is the same nice guy that knows that I definitely have a freak flag that I fly. Heck, this is the guy that I put a 15-ft. Project development sign, 30 flasher barricades and about 200 plastic American flags on his lawn because I was board one night. He thought it was awesome and took me out to breakfast. He was my right-hand guy as my Drama Club Vice President and while we had some definite “Brewhaha’s”he was a really good friend to me.
I still feel slightly dorky. I’ll let you know how it goes.
** I just linked to a more recent post. I still haven’t untangled the mess from Blogger and deleting my archives yet, so a lot of links are still broken on this site. Sorry.