“James, why are are you sitting there with your head in your hands? Eat your lunch.”
“I’m just sitting here tortured with thinking, Mom.”
“Why?”
“Because! One day I’m going to hit puberty and then I know I will actually start to do the un-THINKABLE. I will LIKE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“I’m sorry son, but it’s true.”
“I know. It’s a fate worse than death!!!!!!!!!!”
“Well, you won’t think that when it happens. Just make sure you’re always kind, and a gentleman and treat girls and yourself with respect.”
“MOM! If I’m going to go to all the yuckky trouble and torture of LIKING a girl enough to actually WANT to (Shudder)go on a date, why would I be a jerk to her?! I mean, that just wouldn’t make any sense, right?”
“True enough, son. True enough.”
“Besides, you said if I’m ever anything but a ‘Polite young man’ I wouldn’t be allowed to drive the car until I’m 30, so I HAVE to be nice or parish forever on my dirt bike.”
“I’m glad you pay attention. Now eat your food.”
