FIGURE OUT WHY MY GOOGLE ACCOUNT WON’T LET ME COMMENT ON BLOGGER BLOGS!!!!! Reframe and hang daisy photograph by Bridgy in kitchen. Sort all socks.
- Sort through kids clothes and purge all clothing with frayed ends, holes, stains, and that are too small.
- Write email to Cricket about the specifics of blogging and why the world would be a much better place if she had one. Hold her if she is scared
Tweeze eyebrows so I don’t get confused with Burt from Sesame Street. Buy milk. Go console Christopher that despite ordering “Eragon” on PPV on accident,having his chocolate milk stolen, getting pushed down the slide and knocking over my bathroom tower and cracking it in half, these are not truly “The most miserable days of his life”. It just feels that way.
- Find miserable bully who shoved my son down the slide and kick his ASS. (Ok, I won’t actually do that. I just want to.)
- Remove the PLASTIC CAULK that I filled three billion cracks, nail holes and dings in the bathroom with instead of spackle so that this damn remodel project can be finished.
- Hang mirror in bathroom so that I stop looking like a cross between a sheep dog and someone who has just removed their “Protective Helmet”.
Take cable box back to Comcast. Call Chelle, Bridgy, Karen, Thingy, Mom,Mary Ellen, Brian and Linny. Ask Teresa if she received my “Monday” ecard last week.
- Send Kerfloppy thank you box.
- Before sending Kerfloppy aforementioned “Thank you box” actually think up some creative and/or cool things to put in box that avoid the following things: Sugar, Windows products and the font ‘Comic Sans’.
Pay payment on speeding ticket to avoid incarceration in the Cache County Jail for 10 days. Somehow I suspect that I just wouldn’t do well on “The inside“.
- Look for towels for the bathroom project that will never end.
- Put about a billion pounds of roundup on the weeds threatening a coup d’Ã‰tat in the back yard.
Play night with the girls. Figure out what is wrong with my online banking account. Get my increasingly hefty bottom to the freaking gym on a regular basis!!!!
- Sign boys up for summer lessons.
- Start looking for a new piano since there was a mixup in communication and my MIL gave ours away. :(
- Start making video for parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. Threaten to burn and destroy it and their house and dog if they insist on making me sing “Wind Beneath My Wings”.
- Do not subject innocent people to needless horror by wearing sandals/flip flops until the above occurs.
Haul riding lawnmower to the shop to get fixed.Bitchslap neighbor who came over to tell me my lawn needed mowing.
- MOW THE JUNGLE IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE.
- Buy a billion more bags of red cedar chips.
- Finish weeding flower beds.
- See “Hot Fuzz”.
Find someone to bitch to that my mother is forcing me to go to the family reunion this year by holding me hostage emotionally. See if telling her I am a lesbian will get her to stop. (I don’t know, it seems to work for my sister. Grin.) Call mom and tell her that she was quoted in the paper about the road going through my property and that it sounded great. Beg someone, anyone to give me a massage.
- Clean out car.
- Pick up license plates from dealership.
- Start planning Jonathan’s birthday.
- Refrain from going near, around or INTO “Sweetly Divine” bakery.
- Get antique mirror back from father and tell him that I noticed and that NO, he cannot have it “Back”.
- Paint bathroom.
- Try to get James a haircut that doesn’t make him resemble Howdy Doody.
- Find the lens to my eyeglasses so I don’t have to keep one eye closed while trying to watch “Dr. Phil”.
- Stop watching Dr. Phil. And Dog the Bounty Hunter. And Days of our Lives. (I KNOW. THE SHAME).
See if phone is dried out and FUBAR’d after dropping it down the stairs and talking to Chelle while in the shower. Plan really “Great Evening” for Jon if the above does not have favorable results.
- Try to fall asleep before 1 am.
dreamhave nightmares about Dr. Phil. Or Medusa from “The Rescuers”. Or Hippies.
- Attempt to become less long-winded. (Great start, doncha think?)