You know? I should really keep in mind that when I have left over ‘Photo shoot hair’ that involves using hair implements from 1986, I might want to ignore my burning craving for sweet pulled pork salad at Costa Vida because I tend to run into people I know.
If I am still determined to exit the house looking like a reject from a casting call of “Punky Brewster” I might want to not wear sweats that shrank three inches in the dryer with bright pink shoes and a floppy, gray hoodie.
I think I actually burned the corneas of a few innocent bystanders and I really think that the ensamble will cause a table of fragile middle school girls to be forced into serious therapy. I don’t think my excuse of trying to blend in with the homeless was very convincing.
At least Michelle was with me. She swears that “Her hair sucked, too!” We will never know as she had a hat to cover the damning evidence. When we were standing in line for our food we also saw one of Chelle’s neighbors.
“If he looks at you funny, I’ll just tell him you’re my “Special friend” I take to lunch every Thursday”.
Ehem.
Two can play that little game.
When we got to the cash register she asked if we wanted the check together or separate and if we wanted to use cash or charge. Instead of answering I looked right at her and said,
“Guess what?!!!! After we’re done eating here, we get to go to KMART!!!!”
It was grand.
Chelle was a good sport about it all and even contributed by taking extra care to point me in the right direction to the soda machines.
“I can’t BELIEVE you did that!”
Really? Because I kinda have a history for having fun like that in public. A really quick list of some past escapades include/but are not limited to:
*In college I was busily making out with my boyfriend in my car. A cop came over because I guess he had an issue with a steamed up car being parked in a car wash stall at 1 AM. I told him that my husband and I were run ragged by triplets and a newborn and we managed to get a sitter for the night and it was where we met. He had five kids. He let us off the hook.
*I asked a waiter at Olive Garden to take this photo of me and Karen because it was a “Special Anniversary”.
*I had one guy at a food court on Hill AFB convinced that one of my friends was my husband and he was a cheap bastard taking me there for our 7-year anniversary. His kids were with us so it added an extra air of authenticity.
*When I was preparing for a role, I had to use an English accent. So, I went to Salt Lake and was a British tourist that spent the day asking everyone for directions.
*My current favorite is taking Karen to dinner along with Jon and calling her “Wife number two”. I don’t think she’s as fond of my game as I am.
Terrible? Yes, yes it is.
Michelle says:
I think this is even funnier reading about it than when it happened… Oh, and you forgot to blog about us getting chased down by friend by way of PTA.
I have yet to hear about your *ipple twisting nervous co-worker, even though I specifically challenged you to blog about it! Chicken! Wuss!
See if I make any more suggestions.
March 30th, 2007 at 1:42 am
Sharon says:
Funny? Oh yeah! lol
March 30th, 2007 at 1:52 am
Doug says:
“If I am still determined to exit the house looking like a reject from a casting call of “Punky Brewster”
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Crimped hair and a trip to KMart. Is Madonna still considered the next big thing? Still trying to figure out that Rubick’s cube? Dying to know what happens next on Dynasty. If you have any of these symptoms, it might just be 1986 again.
Speaking of pretending to be a tourist, when I lived in Mexico my friend Christel and I got so tired of people asking us where we were from (Campeche has few tourists) that we started telling them we were from France. It was mildly entertaining.
March 30th, 2007 at 2:41 am
Bridge says:
I like crimped hair.
Um, yeah.
March 30th, 2007 at 3:00 am
hairyshoefairy says:
I’m laughing so hard I don’t think I can make it to the bathroom before I pee my pants. . .
March 30th, 2007 at 5:02 am
Seredne says:
HA! That’s awesome.
I used to prefer prank calling friends, I think it would be harder for me to keep a straight face in person. Anyway, my prank calling days came to an abrupt halt when every just started using cell phones (caller ID, be damned!).
March 30th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Pink Drama says:
my best friend’s mom has been known to tell people that i was her daughter that she never knew about. that she had an affair with a white man years ago and then would ask me how old i was in front of the person she was talking to. it would seriously freak people out.
March 30th, 2007 at 12:03 pm
SparklieSunShine says:
First of all? Those shoes are ADORABLE! I love them.
Second? That is hilarious. I love the picture of you and Karen. Your friends must be in for an adventure everytime you go out.
March 30th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
Beekie says:
I thought the 80’s were back so shouldn’t crimped hair be okay?
*shrugs*
Anyway, thank you for talking to me last night again today. You are my freaking rock. Guess what? When I came inside after I got off the phone with you, Fiona was passed out. I KNEW she was tired.
March 30th, 2007 at 5:52 pm
Ligeia says:
I love the shoes
March 30th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
KatieBelle says:
LOL.
I love the pink flats, btw.
March 31st, 2007 at 1:24 am
Anonymous says:
I want to make a movie too! How come I don’t get invited anymore.
Sad day
Zac
March 31st, 2007 at 1:44 am
bella says:
This was hilarious! And yes, it never fails - when you’re looking your worst, you always bump into someone you haven’t seen in years!
March 31st, 2007 at 1:58 pm
Amber says:
I can’t say I ever crimped my hair. But I had big enough bangs to last the entirety of the 80s…and beyond!
March 31st, 2007 at 7:32 pm
bee says:
if you and i lived anywhere NEAR each other, i’d be kidnapping you all the time to do “crazy old lady” stuff like this. too funny - and right up my alley.
April 1st, 2007 at 2:27 pm