*It is really difficult to *ehem* CONCENTRATE when your cat starts moaning and having freaky animal love outside your window when you are getting early morning action. It also doesn’t help when your partner keeps telling you he “Hates your damn cat”.
*I have to keep Christopher from wearing his bowtie, vest and suit jacket to school. We go through it every day. I think I am raising a combination of Alex P. Keaton and Felix Unger. Sigh.
*My friend, Chelly, is back from a spa-weekend in Arizona with a good friend that moved last year. She had a great time and despite the airline losing her luggage when there were only TEN PASSENGERS on a direct flight from Phoenix to Salt Lake City, she returned to us a sexy(Yet crispy and sunburned) babe. RAWR!
I took her out for lunch and a spin in my new car. I feel so sorry for all of you that you can’t have a totally hot BFF like me. It rocks. (I have to go run and hide now. Chelle is also freakishly strong and I have a feeling she may open up a can of Pioneer WhoopAss on me after that.)
*Have you ever been weird enough to wonder what it is like to see me get dressed? Well, here you go: In the words of my “Diva Dress Fluffer”. I would like to thank all the little people….
*My parent’s 50th wedding anniversary is going to kill me. Seriously? SERIOUSLY. If that doesn’t the flipping reunion they are forcing me to attend the month after that surely will.
*My video “Dancing in Cache Valley” is getting more attention. If I had known it would be in the paper and posted around so much I probably would have worn a different outfit and brushed my hair. Sigh.
*Having a gym stalker SUCKS. If I am there at the same time as a particular woman, my workout is totally screwed. She has followed me into very *PRIVATE* moments to announce that she “Left me gym towels by my clothes”. I know that sounds nice, but my hell, I just want to be left alone to sweat and grunt in peace, ok????
After looking around for adjoining treadmills for forever, Bridgy and I finally found two. I had just started running when I felt tugging on my arm. It was her. OMG. She kept harping and harping (I kept saying “I can’t run and talk”) Finally, I had such a side ache I just said screw it. I only had a 10-minute workout. UNLESS YOUR NAME IS BRIGITTE , DON’T FREAKING TALK TO ME WHEN I’M RUNNING! (Ok, you can if you are Christian Bale. Or as hot as Christian Bale. If not, f-off.)
*I was feeling pretty great about being adventerous and brave by really liking an octopus salad served in a local sushi restaurant. I totally love the taste of it and I don’t get grossed out by the octopus becuase it is usually chopped into really small pieces so it is manageable. I found out the hard way that when the restaurant is slammed, they don’t chop up the octopus, but serve it cut in big wedges. It still tasted great but all I could think is “Oh my hell. This looks like a vagina with suction cups.” Tends to put a damper on the appetite. EWE.
*My sons love my car. I’m glad. They deserve to have some nice things. They are very good boys that aren’t vain, or spoiled. Just really good kids and I’m happy that they like it so much.
*Now that I have praised them, I can say that they often make me rip my hair out.
You know that you are in for a piece of crap evening when your son comes home and says “I know you are going to hate me, but I have a history project on West Virginia due tomorrow.”
Ulcers suck. The suck six ways from Sunday. They also suck a duck, a goose and also a turkey.
*You know what else sucks? Missing submitting your forms for hot lunch and knowing that you will be packing lunchfor your kids every day in April. That SUCKS.
Sweet Dreams, everyone.
Oh my hell. Christopher and his bow tie and jacket. It’s just like small child.
He is going to Washington DC, Philly and NY with his grandparents next month. He told me he’s already packed. What did he pack you ask? A dress jacket, 2 pairs of dress slacks, 3 dress shirts, a pair of dress shoes, a belt and 4 ties. Sigh.
I told him that he needs other items (i.e. tennies, t-shirts, jeans, etc.) to wear. He insists that these are all the clothing items he needs. He insists that he is going to wear them all the time, even while sight seeing.
God help me.
How the hell does it happen that two rather laid back moms got such structured children?????
I blame the sperm doners.
(It is too adorable sometimes, though)
wow. i didn’t think i’d missed so much – i could have sworn i was here only a few days ago…but YAY for your performance rocking! i knew it would – how could it not?
i’m jealous that you got nookie. seriously, i feel like (well, okay, i am) i’m begging for it. someone who says they have a high sex drive should understand that when they’re stressed out, their sex drive should rise, not flatline. gRRRrrr. i hope it was good nookie, cat notwithstanding. (LMAO by the way.)
the idea of a kid in a tux is slightly creepy. i’m sure christopher pulls it off and looks quite natty, but. still.
so many bullets to respond to! i love them all.
and as to your comment on my blog: thanks so much for your support, but do i come off as WAAAAY more neurotic if i tell you she died 8 years ago? probably, huh. i’m messed up good. :$
I could only dream of giving birth to a miniature Alex Keaton. You don’t know how lucky you are. My son will probably turn out to be a Nick….
And I cannot believe that is you in that video. It was forwarded to me by a Utah friend a while back and I had the same thoughts this time as I did then: What a groovin’ place and groovier chick.
OK, so maybe those weren’t my EXACT thoughts. Maybe you should have tried on one of Christopher’s bow ties to spice things up a bit…
I love the image of Christopher in his ‘dress-up’ outfit! We had a little boy in first grade at our school who loved wearing dress pants, white shirt and a little bow tie. It was so darned cute! His grandmother was one of our aides, and she was so embarrassed! She said she didn’t know where he got that idea…But everyone else thought it was too darling for words!
(PS the kid is in his 20′s now, and can’t seem to keep his shirt tucked in)
Bee-Oh, tuxes and kids don’t mix. He has a bowtie from a school performance. It’s a sweater vest and suit jacket. Very “Academia” looking.
I was actually referring to the loss of your relationship as well as the loss of your mom. NO, the time DOESN”T MATTER. I have a friend who lost his Dad almost 20 years ago and there are times it is like yesterday for him. The effects of death are not really on a timetable, ya know? ESPECIALLY if the person who died has had a negative/conflicting relationship with you. That almost feels worst.
My grandmother was the biggest bitch in the barrel and I fell apart when she died 10 years ago and am conflicted to this day about it.
(Wow. That was long. Love you.)
Amber-HA HA HA HA HA! I’ve been Forwarded! COOL! I know what you were thinking:
“Obviously this woman is whoring herself on youtube to pay for her hideous paroxide job and meth habit”.
Sharon-He is so darn cute. He just wants to be so structured and his slovenly mamma just doesn’t always cooprerate!
I am endlessly disturbed to read about your sex life…and yet I find it freakishly hysterical…and I uh…mean that as a compliment.
The irony here is that I was pondering posting about going commando which I KNEW would disturb you FAR more.
GRIN
Hahaha–I can’t get past the sex comments! btw, sometimes early morning sex can be the best–
LOL.
Lord – I don’t even know what to say to that… except I will never be able to eat octopus again.
I, on the other hand, am going to make HUGE efforts to forget you ever said that octopus thing in order to keep my love for it intact… pleeease!
And, Loralee O.M.G. I had never seen your Dancing video… HA HA HA… I can’t stop grinning my head off. Thank you so much for making this sick flu-ridden coughing mess of a person laugh so heartily today!
Vx
Thank you for the bullets. I had been worried about not being able to catch up on you and yours after being away for so long.
Anyway, Congrats on the car, kids, and friends. You are one lucky woman.
Thanks for the compliments on the video, Vanessa. It was pretty fun to do. :) Pengi, you need to tell me how your “Trip” went!
And for the octupus comment. I probably should have used a less colorful description, but DUDE! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN IT.
Still. I may have crossed a line there. I know, I know. MOI? Cross boundaries of sense and good taste?
Sigh.
;)
for those of us romantically challenged, what can i say…… Hey, project…West Virginia….hello, why didn’t you call. I do have connections. That is where Brande lives afterall. You rock!
It would hurt way too much to try to go after you at this moment… If it is even possible, I think my back is a deeper shade of magenta today.
EMME’s post totally made me laugh. Holding paper towels in place. HA HA HA.
Oh, and if you decide to go for Dancing II, I think we could up the ante a bit by maybe making you look more like a prostitute in addition to the bleached out meth addict. What do you think?
btw – I got up at 5AM for whatever reason (it was a permanent getting up, just a momentary confusion). Would I have sex then. hell to the no. I wouldn’t give a crap if Donnie Darko wandered in my room and pulled me into a portal.
Well, I HAD been up all night, so it wasn’t exactly like it was morning, ya know?
Besides, morning sex makes men insanely happy and it’s nice to see.
P.S.
DONNIE DARKO?!!!!! HA HA HA HA!
“Oh my hell. This looks like a vagina with suction cups.”
Both hilarious and disgusting.
I just wanted to say you’re awesome :)
i only WISH we had a hot lunch pgm, that would make things so mmuch simpler!
I love your lists :D
haha…you’re hysterical. I have a gym stalker too! It Buh-LOWS.
I seriously didn’t know you could eat octopus. I seriously think I don’t ever want to try it now. ;)
~Katiebelle
Since you posted about your sex life I’m going to make an attempt at revenge: So it’s been 5 months post baby (only 3 or so of which I’ve had the go ahead for sex) and my libido is still deader than dead. I mean, it’s died before but never like this. Before I would get in the mood but just be too tired/angry/insert-excuse-here to follow through but now I never EVER get in the mood. It’s nice fore me but sucks for Dylan. Granted, I don’t particularly care that is sucks for him. Especially not now. Are you sufficiently horrified yet?
Anywho, little Christophee’s love of suits sounds a lot like what I’ve always imagined Jon was like as a young child. teehee.
PS – This word verification thing is really annoying.
Oh, how I wish to have a gym stalker! Consider yourself lucky, LL. As for the vagina stuff, I plead the fifth. I have no idea what the fifth is, but I still insist on pleading it.
My random crap bullet: NSF charges because your stupid gym charges bi weekly instead of bi monthly. Who the fuck does that?